Does anyone just feel totally lost, like your core personality has been lost and as if you just have no clue who you are?
And as if you don't even know what you like or dislike anymore or what makes you who you are
It is like you are a completely blank slate and have no inner self
It's like the old you has been totally lost and you are just a ghost or a hollow shell with no core or soul
And it seems the more I try to figure out who I am the less I can tell who I am
Does anyone feel like this?
Is this even depersonalization
Posted by Maya12 (Member # 36392) on :
I also liken it to not even knowing who or what made me who I was before sick and I have lost all the emotions and personality traits that made me human
Have lost all human connections too
Posted by Maya12 (Member # 36392) on :
It is like being completely dissociated from self.
Anyone feel this way
Posted by DaveNJ (Member # 17362) on :
Maya,
i think people experience this differently...a lot of what you describe sounds more like depressions than depersonalization. My experience with it was more a mental out of body experience with no bearing on date or time or how i arrived t my place in life...no begin ...no ending..constantly asking myself what day, month time of day it was....
Dave
Posted by Maya12 (Member # 36392) on :
Well I do have These symptoms too but just wondering if others had the dissociation from self
Posted by CD57 (Member # 11749) on :
DaveNJ, how did you fix it?
Maya, how's it going with the Mepron and babesia/parasite tx?
Posted by BBinme (Member # 34131) on :
To me when I have depersonalization, it feels like a dream, like everything that is happening is not real, I hate that feeling...
Posted by Maya12 (Member # 36392) on :
Hey cd 57 is this how you feel too and I'm not on the Mepron and zith anymore
Posted by Maya12 (Member # 36392) on :
Hey bab do you also have trouble identifying with self? Knowing who you are?
Posted by Maya12 (Member # 36392) on :
Anyone else feel what I have described?
Posted by DaveNJ (Member # 17362) on :
Can't say i fixed it 100% but it's 90% better...treatment is all i can say and push the envelope with sweating(detox) and exercise...
i know that sound contratian but at some point you need to get ****ed off and fight through....for sure the exercise kept me sane..
i saw Dr B the famous shrink in NJ....he basically said that you have to understand that you've had what amount to a brain injury..so be kind to yourself and know that time will make it better...
i am not well but i am functioning at a high level in a the finance world....i have to write a lot of things down and it frustrates me ...but 4 years ago i couldn't remember people's names or speak publicly(a big part of my job)
Posted by Maya12 (Member # 36392) on :
Hey dave did you feel what I have described?
Posted by carolann2013 (Member # 39964) on :
I can't remember the 'old me'. In fact when a doctor or anyone else asks me where I hurt, I don't have the energy to go into it with them.
Every morning, my sweet husband asks me 'How do you feel today'.
I think I have gotten so use to hurting, I cannot even remember what normal feels like.
I have only had these symptoms for less than a year. I cannot fathom those that have been battling this for years and years.
I am just so tired of dealing with it already. Although I will have spurts where it angers me and for a couple of hours I will be constructive.
Constructive in my thoughts, my work, my family. But all too soon, I get tired again. Hurting again.
Crying in my beer tonight. Sorry to unload on you! But I think I understand what you are asking.
Posted by Maya12 (Member # 36392) on :
Hey Carolina thanks for sharing this with me, I am sorry you feel this way, it really does suck
Hope you feel better soon
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
Me too maya, all of the above:(
Posted by CherylSue (Member # 13077) on :
I had this in the beginning when I first got sick. I remember trying to watch the movie THE SIXTH SENSE. I remember relating so well to that movie. I had the sense that I had died and wasn't really in this world anymore. I didn't feel real.
Fortunately, it didn't last very long, and that was the only time I had it. The Lyme and coinfections had fried my brain. I was a living zombie.
I diganosed myself with Lyme 7 years later and sought an LLMD. I'm doing 90-95% these days after aggressive treatment.
Posted by AuntyLynn (Member # 35938) on :
Cheryl -
Can you elaborate at all about that "aggressive" treatment? Thanks!
Posted by Sammi (Member # 110) on :
I call this "OPS" for outer-planetary surrealness. It feels like you are not in your body.
I am sorry you are experiencing this, it can be very scary.
Posted by cozynana (Member # 34270) on :
I had this and felt like I was living a life that was like a movie and everyone else was in the movie
living life and I was a numb spectator and missed all emotion, including joy, enthusiasm, a feeling
of engaging, etc. What a sick, horrible feeling.
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
I think everyone that has it it's in their own way, but maya, I feel the same way as you. Pretending to be me with emotion, self, Only feeling is fear that I'm not me and I cant get back. Time concept is so bad. I can relate to your posts. It's living in a movie you're not even in.