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So I thought of something that might get people laughing based on that comedy line, "If you _______, you might be a redneck."
I dare anyone to call Jeff Foxworthy.
So here goes, and i challenge you to beat this one....
You might be a redneck if......
You put vagisil on your toothbrush and toothpaste on your ^$)*....
Laugh a lot, Lemonhead
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C O L O R A D O * S U P P O R T * S Y S T E M
[email protected]
"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart
and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words".
Unknown
I think I'd be able to this year !!
You might be a Lymie if...your daily schedule revolves around which medicine to take on an empty stomach, which to take with food, which makes you nauseous, which makes you sleepy, and undoubtedly forget something but won't realize it until the next morning!
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You know you're a lymie if your medicine now overtakes all the cupboards in your kitchen!!!
.........if you feel like crap all the time and people say "but you look great"!!!!!!!!
........if you can't plan anything ahead of time because you never know how you'll feel!!!
Gail
O.K. Mimi & Terri your turn!
Talk about cheap date.
hmmmm . . .
you might be a lymie if you put swimmer's ear medicine in your eye instead of eye drops -- for the SECOND freaking time!!!
I even had the stupid bottle marked w/ a rubber band and kept in a differrent stupid drawer.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
sherry
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You spray your hairspray on your tresses and it doesnt work, so you spray more, and still doesnt work, and hair turns white.
Note: should remove Scrubbing Bubbles from cabinet.
Take care
You might be a Lymie if...you start telling a really interesting story and somewhere in the middle of it you completely forget what you were talking about and your very interesting story turns into something that doesn't make sense and isn't the least bit exciting. (happened to me too many times to count)
--Annie
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You might be a lymie if... ------------------ "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart [This message has been edited by okie lyme (edited 08 April 2005).]
You might be a Lymie if you are considering as your Epitaph: Here lies the bones of
You might be a Lymie if on your good days you run around and do everything that you've been too sick to actually get done but have been thinking about over and over again in your mind and then in a heap of exhaustion sleep for days to recover from it. You might be a lymie if...... You pop you kitty kat's tapazole (hyperthyroid med) instead of your sublingual estradial!! They look identical, come from the same pharmacy!!! Yikes, didn't I put that dang stuff away? Guess not, this definitely doesn't taste like my estradiol!! Spit - gasp!!!! ------------------ "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart You might be a Lymie if... a dr actually tells you are suffering from "military wife syndrome"--actually happened to me! Couldn't find it in the medical books though when I asked him to look it up! Nancy
You might be a Lymie of your day starts at noon and ends at 7pm and you still have to take catnaps to function. You might be a Lymie if you can't sit up, tolerate the flash at scene changes or follow a plot on TV for 30 minutes, can't read because the letters are flashing and bouncing around and can't listen to music because your fancy stereo sounds tinny, makes your brain feel like it is vibrating and hurts your ears. You might be a Lymie if you belong to a support group where half of the 100 members forget to go and the other half are too sick to go at every meeting.
Or You might be a Lymie if you can't get route 33, rt 34, and rt 35 straight even if you have lived in the area for 3 years. I live on a cross road that connects to 33 and 34.
------------------ ------------------ HEATHERKISS, I lived at 33 and 35 for 5 years and still never got 33, 34, and 35 figured out. Then, of course, there's 36 too. Never figured out that one either. I think that's where I picked up my HME (Ehrlichia Chafeensis). Corgilla [This message has been edited by Corgilla (edited 04 May 2005).]
How 'bout "you might be a lymie if... you're truly afraid to straighten your house because you may NEVER find ANYTHING again!"
You know.... just in case you get super ill. So sad. I'll do a funny one next time.
Pam
---- You finally have enough energy to make tuna noodle casserole and forget the tuna. Then you get your mercury level back and realize you should've left it out in the first place. ----You can't win at Solitaire and you finally catch yourself pulling the cards off of the Ace piles at top to make plays. Did all of the above and much more. [This message has been edited by Pocono Lyme (edited 05 May 2005).]
(check out my May 6 post "Nearly Narcoleptic Newcomber" - of course I meant Newcomer, but those darn spirochetes mess with my typing capabilities!!! You might be a lymey if you are constantly walking into door jams. You might be a lymey if battle scenes in movies put you to sleep. Of course, the reason they were so funny to me, was that I could relax to most if not all of these. Thanks for the lighter-side of guys! pinkish.hue
And then keep trying until the car alarm goes off!... THen realizing what you have done, walk quickly away and find your car(which you now realize looks nothing like the one you tried to break into) and try to sneak off before someone calls the police an you! It would be a difficult one to get the cops to understand..lol
If while tring to explain your increasing nuerological problems to your husband you earnestly explain that you are having a hard time even finding the diaper isle at Mcdonalds. You might be married to a lymie if.. You reply I know honey I have a hard time buying diapers at Mcdonalds too (With a straight face!)
You have no problem reading through other people typos...and sometimes prefer the way they spell things!
You might be a Lymie if you sometimes forget your own age, or even name, but you can still rattle off signs, symptoms, diagnosis, latin names and treatment protocols for any given tick-borne disease. You might be Lymie if you know the TV schedule for the hours of midnight to 5 AM. You mihgt be a Lymie if you can't stop filpping your lettres aronud. You might be a Lymie if you've ever accidentally thrown anything in the garbage that wasn't supposed to be thrown away...i.e. the cup of tea you just made, a sandwich, your purse... You might be a Lymie if you can understand the following sentence: My duck told me the tx for my sx was abx, even though I was herxing from the babs and bart. You might be a Lymie if you walk into a room, pause for 30 seconds staring stupidly at the wall, and then walk back out with no idea why you went in in the first place. You might be a Lymie if you forget what you just wrote. You might be a Lymie if you forget what you just wrote. You might be a Lymie if you often feel drunk without actually being able to drink, and if you have no sex life despite being screwed by so many doctors. Alison
This happens to me on a regular basis--my teenager gets a kick out of it. Cathy
You can go from manic dancing around the livingroom at 3 a.m. to crying hysterically the next afternoon. When you say, "Where is my pen?!" while holding said pen. When you want to ask for a "ten doctor visits, get one free" card. When you have to remind yourself, in writing, to use the bathroom. When you forget what side of the road to drive on. When you want to ask for a third mortgage. When you can't remember what you're saying and just say, "you know, THING." Heather: It is sad, but so true. I am starting a new regimen with a new PA, and I need part-time work, having no idea when and how I will manage. I must wait a bit. When you find yourself becoming somewhat of a "Lyme missionary," spreading the word about the pestilence. Steph
I remember it like it was yesterday . . . my second event of swimmer's ear drops in my eye instead of eye drops. Oh how stupid and inept I felt! But wait . . . it was yesterday! Only, it was the THIRD freaking time I've done this and I cannot for the life of me believe it has happened again. I had taken precautions to protect myself from the swimmer's ear drops. I had hidden them in the towel closet inside the first aid drawer wrapped w/ an orange ponytail holder! One would think it would have been enough. But no . . . during some stupor as I finished my shower, it seems I threw them into my makeup case and put the stupid eye drops in the protected place. Have no fear tho - I was prepared w/ left over eye medicine, gauze and tape. I didn't even have to call the opthamologist this time. I hated to deprive him of another of my comical yet PAINFUL escapades but, you know - I just couldn't take the ridicule again! So there it is - a lyme babs bartonella brain on abx since 1999 - guess, I'm not well yet huh! Sherry ------------------ OR You've unknowlingly started a fashion trend at your daughter's high school for always wearing your sun glasses inside the school. "Hey look, I'm cool, I'm Rachel's mom".
your list of doctors you had before your diagnosis could rival the number of Chins in a chinese phonebook
Posted by lightfoot (Member # 2536) on :
You might be a lymie if......you dial a phone number and while it's ringing forget who you were calling!!!
C O L O R A D O * S U P P O R T * S Y S T E M
[email protected]
and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words".
Unknown
Posted by okie lyme (Member # 7130) on :
You might be a lymie if......you can't find your favorite coffee cup for two days then find it in the microwave full of coffee~~~
Posted by Tick-N-Tired (Member # 7145) on :
Hey don't take this wrong...this is what I told my husband several years ago when they could not diagnose me!
of Carolyn, tho they said...
She's not really sick,
It's all in her head!!!
Posted by daniella (Member # 6753) on :
You might be a Lymie if all of a sudden you forget how to write, spell ,or say a word... for example last night I could not pronounce intimidate. Is it itimidate? Imtinitade? Iminimate?....lol
daniella
Posted by lightfoot (Member # 2536) on :
C O L O R A D O * S U P P O R T * S Y S T E M
[email protected]
and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words".
Unknown
Posted by Nal (Member # 6801) on :
You might be a Lymie if... you feel like you just stepped off the tilt a whirl ride at an amusement park only you never got to enjoy the ride in the first place!!
Posted by richeerichhh on :
You might be a Lymie if your writing and a simple word like READ just doesn't look right.
Thats soooo happenend to me 
Posted by LynnMN (Member # 121) on :
You might be a Lymie if you ignore the gallblader attacks to concentrate on the ending real pain(s).
Posted by HEATHERKISS (Member # 6789) on :
You might be a Lymie if you remember everthing different than the rest of the world.
Posted by Fairytale76 (Member # 6823) on :
You might be a Lymey if you see someone you've known your whole life and you can't figure out who they are. And worse yet is when they start talking to you and all you can do is nod and try in vain to get your lyme brain to tell you who they are! How embarrising. Happens more than I'll admit!
Posted by DR. Wiseass (Member # 6777) on :
You might be a Lymie if...you walk into your bathroom and then stop, look around, and wonder why you're in there - only to give up, turn around and walk back into the living room, sit down, and realize, "Oh yeah, I need to pee!"
DR. Wiseass - not a real doc - just a real wise ass.
www.twistoflyme.blogspot.com
Posted by DR. Wiseass (Member # 6777) on :
You might be a Lymie if....your library fines are in the triple digits because you keep forgettin' those books aren't yours!
DR. Wiseass - not a real doc - just a real wise ass.
www.twistoflyme.blogspot.com
Posted by Corgilla (Member # 4066) on :
You might be a Lymie if...You spent $1500 to fly to Alabama, stay in a hotel, buy tickets for a NASCAR race and end up sleeping through the whole event while the sound of 9000 horse power engines go screaming by.
Posted by Glassfish (Member # 5693) on :
Love this topic!...
Posted by HEATHERKISS (Member # 6789) on :
You might be a Lymie if you can't go anywhere when you just started something new on your med regimine.
Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :
If you need to use the calculator to tell someone your age.
Posted by achey (Member # 6284) on :
if the appointment time on the calender say 1pm, and you can't remember when the appointment is , and when you need to leave home to get there
Posted by Pocono Lyme (Member # 5939) on :
You might be a Lymie if you sit staring at your socks trying to figure out which foot each sock goes on.
Posted by Stumble Bee (Member # 7274) on :
You might be a lymey if on your very first post, you misspelled your topic line.
(never fails)
Posted by PINKISH.HUE on :
Thanks everyone for these posts. I jsut died laughing with lots of these. I am a brand-new lymie and was getting pretty bumbbed out about it all, until I read these little laughs!
Posted by HEATHERKISS (Member # 6789) on :
You might be a Lymey if you tell everyone to play the lottery so that they could possibly help pay for the best LLMD in the area.
Posted by HEATHERKISS (Member # 6789) on :
Just checked my ticket........ I did not win.
Posted by greg (Member # 1250) on :
if you try to cook corn flakes in a pot
lock yourself out of the house more than 5 times a week
forget why you went to the freaking store
Posted by Biting Back (Member # 6018) on :
You might be a lymie if you put a few drops of eyeglass cleaner in your eyes (the bottles are shaped/sized identically). Yeow!
Posted by daniella (Member # 6753) on :
You might be a Lymie if you drive a small tan car but leave the grocery store and push your cart up to a dark blue lincoln and wonder why the key won't work..
Posted by niki (Member # 7720) on :
You might be a lymie ...
Posted by niki (Member # 7720) on :
You might be a lymie if...
Posted by painted turtle (Member # 7801) on :
you might be a lymie if you can't remember your symptoms just a few minutes ago...no wonder you're a hypochondriac you don't have any symptoms!
Posted by d_breenie (Member # 7825) on :
You might be a Lymie when you have a haircut appointment, drive and arrive at a rotary, forget where you are going so you go around and around and around then remember "oh haircut" then you forget how to get there and go around and around and around until you remember "oh yeh north" Then hope you can get home.
Posted by AlisonP (Member # 7771) on :
You might be a Lymie if you words up your mix a lot.
Posted by shadow13 (Member # 1467) on :
You might be a Lymie if ...... you win 2 out of 3 games of Scrabble and your friend is beginning to wonder what is wrong with HER brain!
Posted by griswoldgirl (Member # 5365) on :
You may be a lymie if it isn't until a scene at the end of the movie when you realize that you saw it just last week!!
Posted by Biting Back (Member # 6018) on :
You might be a lymie if you put eyeglass cleaner drops in your eyes instead of on your glasses! Owwwwwwwww!
Posted by sweet pea (Member # 6495) on :
....if you fight to stay awake while driving but can't sleep at night
Posted by Starphoenix (Member # 2402) on :
If you are at the register, about to sign a receipt, and you can't remember how to spell your last name.
Posted by ponytail (Member # 36) on :
Gosh - seems like a lifetime since March when I last posted in this thread!
Posted by chroniccosmic (Member # 7789) on :
You might be a Lymie if...you've been sick forever, been to 23 different doctors and your sister in law diagnoses you because she's just finished Amy Tan's new novel.
Posted by HEATHERKISS (Member # 6789) on :
You might be a Lymie if you constantly say....... No I Don't Remember.
Posted by Starphoenix (Member # 2402) on :
Chroniccosmic: I can relate to the sunglasses!
I am a singer (though haven't sung publicly in a dog's age), and I had to perform once with dark sunglasses. It was embarrassing, but I also performed with another woman, who, for solidarity, wore them, too!
Steph
Posted by Squeegee (Member # 7219) on :
You might be a Lymie if the bird cage grate you just took out to clean suddenly looks like an Escher drawing when you try to put it back in.
You have to keep taking it out and putting it back in as it keeps looking like it's going the wrong way as soon as you slide it back in the cage.
(Been cleaning this same cage for 10 years but suddenly it just didn't look right!)
Posted by DR. Wiseass (Member # 6777) on :
up for the newbies to enjoy!
Posted by trueblue (Member # 7348) on :
I'll play...
You might be a lymie if... you just had problems spelling lymie. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
I'll try again...
You might be a lymie if...
you grab the bottle of probiotics at bedtime, take 2 and then notice your mouth tastes like pizza and you just took 2 oil of oregano. (Bizarrely, I woke up feeling better than usual. Ha!)
You might be a lymie if...
you catch yourself putting the spoon in the refridgerator and turn around to see the yogurt still sitting on the counter (again).
Posted by Ann-OH (Member # 2020) on :
Somebody probably already posted this as the origin of the word.
You might be a Lymey if you were a British sailor in the 1800's and ate limes while at sea in order to stave off scurvy.
I don't like this term for Lyme disease patients.
It is used to make fun of Lyme disease patients and advocates by people who don't believe in chronic Lyme disease and has been used in many publications by them.
I know I can't change it and if it gives identity or comfort to others, that is good.
Ann - OH
Posted by hopeful123 (Member # 3244) on :
YOU Know you are a lymie if you are having a conversation with yourself about which are the last four digits of your phone number..9706 or 9716. had to dial my house to remember as i write this NOW.
Posted by hopeful123 (Member # 3244) on :
you know you're a lymie if you can't remember if you already took your atx or not. should you take it "again" or skip it entirely....
![[bonk]](graemlins/bonk.gif)
Posted by siggy (Member # 8654) on :
hehe This is funny reading!!! lol
You might be a lymie if... as you back out of the garage, notice the right mirror will hit the side of the garage and break, and you just don�t care.
(It happened to me, driving my mothers car)
.... as you are taking a turn, realise the car is skitting (sp?), end up driving straight into the ditch/snow and still don�t care.
(I did that too. In my mothers car! )
Posted by trueblue (Member # 7348) on :
siggy ~ obviously your mother's car is a menace. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
I've got a similar one though.
You might be a lymie...
if you go to back out of the garage and see the hose is on the driveway and are too lazy to get out of the car and move it. So you cut the wheel to avoid it and rip the right mirror, mostly, off the car.
(It wasn't my mother's car! ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
) ![[lol]](graemlins/lol.gif)
Posted by hurtingramma (Member # 7770) on :
You might be a lymie if you stand in front of the telephone for 5 minutes trying to figure out what all the numbers and buttons are for...and what the part in your hand is for and why do you have it in your hand...
scared the he** out of me!
Posted by Naomi (Member # 4846) on :
you might be a lymie if...
...the hot water repair man remarks that your house looks like a pharmacy!
...if you find your wedding picures in the fridge and the milk in the book shelf.
Posted by lymex5&counting (Member # 7202) on :
You might be a lymie...... if you hear the dinger
go off on the washer, you open it and it's empty
because you never even put the clothes in.
I do this all the time.
Posted by Naomi (Member # 4846) on :
you might be a lymie if you can't remember the ending to the show you just watched.
Posted by MomOfLymeTeen (Member # 6883) on :
Okay, my daughter Andrea and I got some great laughs out of this thread. Only problem is, she is insisting I get tested soon, because this stuff happens to me as often as her. I keep telling her it's just my age...
Hope you're all warm and dry!
(here we are getting buried in snow even as I type.)
![[spinning smile]](graemlins/spinsmile.gif)
Denise
Posted by MagicAcorn (Member # 8786) on :
If you signed on yesterday as Acorn and can't remember your password today and have to become a Magic Acorn instead.
Posted by trueblue (Member # 7348) on :
quote:
Originally posted by MagicAcorn:
If you signed on yesterday as Acorn and can't remember your password today and have to become a Magic Acorn instead.
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)