So I thought of something that might get people laughing based on that comedy line, "If you _______, you might be a redneck."

I dare anyone to call Jeff Foxworthy.
So here goes, and i challenge you to beat this one....

You might be a redneck if......
You put vagisil on your toothbrush and toothpaste on your ^$)*....

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C O L O R A D O * S U P P O R T * S Y S T E M
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You might be a Lymie if...your daily schedule revolves around which medicine to take on an empty stomach, which to take with food, which makes you nauseous, which makes you sleepy, and undoubtedly forget something but won't realize it until the next morning!

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You know you're a lymie if your medicine now overtakes all the cupboards in your kitchen!!!

.........if you feel like crap all the time and people say "but you look great"!!!!!!!!

........if you can't plan anything ahead of time because you never know how you'll feel!!!

Gail

hmmmm . . .

you might be a lymie if you put swimmer's ear medicine in your eye instead of eye drops -- for the SECOND freaking time!!!

I even had the stupid bottle marked w/ a rubber band and kept in a differrent stupid drawer.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

sherry

You might be a Lymie if...you start telling a really interesting story and somewhere in the middle of it you completely forget what you were talking about and your very interesting story turns into something that doesn't make sense and isn't the least bit exciting. (happened to me too many times to count)

--Annie

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C O L O R A D O * S U P P O R T * S Y S T E M
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You might be a Lymie if you are considering as your Epitaph:

Here lies the bones of
of Carolyn, tho they said...
She's not really sick,
It's all in her head!!!

You might be a Lymie if on your good days you run around and do everything that you've been too sick to actually get done but have been thinking about over and over again in your mind and then in a heap of exhaustion sleep for days to recover from it.

You might be a lymie if......

You pop you kitty kat's tapazole (hyperthyroid med) instead of your sublingual estradial!! They look identical, come from the same pharmacy!!! Yikes, didn't I put that dang stuff away? Guess not, this definitely doesn't taste like my estradiol!! Spit - gasp!!!!

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C O L O R A D O * S U P P O R T * S Y S T E M
[email protected]

You might be a Lymie if... a dr actually tells you are suffering from "military wife syndrome"--actually happened to me! Couldn't find it in the medical books though when I asked him to look it up!

You might be a Lymie of your day starts at noon and ends at 7pm and you still have to take catnaps to function.

You might be a Lymie if you can't sit up, tolerate the flash at scene changes or follow a plot on TV for 30 minutes, can't read because the letters are flashing and bouncing around and can't listen to music because your fancy stereo sounds tinny, makes your brain feel like it is vibrating and hurts your ears.

Or

HEATHERKISS, I lived at 33 and 35 for 5 years and still never got 33, 34, and 35 figured out. Then, of course, there's 36 too. Never figured out that one either.

I think that's where I picked up my HME (Ehrlichia Chafeensis).

Corgilla

How 'bout "you might be a lymie if...

you're truly afraid to

straighten your house

because you may NEVER find

You know.... just in case you get super ill.

---- You finally have enough energy to make tuna noodle casserole and forget the tuna. Then you get your mercury level back and realize you should've left it out in the first place.

----You can't win at Solitaire and you finally catch yourself pulling the cards off of the Ace piles at top to make plays.

Did all of the above and much more.

(check out my May 6 post "Nearly Narcoleptic Newcomber" - of course I meant Newcomer, but those darn spirochetes mess with my typing capabilities!!!

You might be a lymey if you are constantly walking into door jams.

Of course, the reason they were so funny to me, was that I could relax to most if not all of these. Thanks for the lighter-side of guys!

lock yourself out of the house more than 5 times a week

And then keep trying until the car alarm goes off!...

THen realizing what you have done, walk quickly away and find your car(which you now realize looks nothing like the one you tried to break into) and try to sneak off before someone calls the police an you!

If while tring to explain your increasing nuerological problems to your husband you earnestly explain that you are having a hard time even finding the diaper isle at Mcdonalds.

You might be married to a lymie if..

You might be a Lymie if you sometimes forget your own age, or even name, but you can still rattle off signs, symptoms, diagnosis, latin names and treatment protocols for any given tick-borne disease.

You might be Lymie if you know the TV schedule for the hours of midnight to 5 AM.

You mihgt be a Lymie if you can't stop filpping your lettres aronud.

You might be a Lymie if you've ever accidentally thrown anything in the garbage that wasn't supposed to be thrown away...i.e. the cup of tea you just made, a sandwich, your purse...

You might be a Lymie if you can understand the following sentence: My duck told me the tx for my sx was abx, even though I was herxing from the babs and bart.

You might be a Lymie if you walk into a room, pause for 30 seconds staring stupidly at the wall, and then walk back out with no idea why you went in in the first place.

You might be a Lymie if you forget what you just wrote.

You might be a Lymie if you forget what you just wrote.

You might be a Lymie if you often feel drunk without actually being able to drink, and if you have no sex life despite being screwed by so many doctors.

Alison

This happens to me on a regular basis--my teenager gets a kick out of it.