LymeNet Flash: How am I supposed to do this?!?!

This is topic How am I supposed to do this?!?! in forum General Support at LymeNet Flash.

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Posted by merrygirl (Member # 12041) on :

I am in tears right now.

My son's 3rd birthday party is tomorrow and I am totally unable to function today. I dont think I can do a darn thing.

The fatigue is some of most terrible I have ever had - ever. Somehow I am supposed to care for my 2 kids and clean my whole house by myself for the 40 or so people coming tomorrow?

To make things even worse, I have severe OCD about cleaning and it drives me nuts. I am looking around and there is so much to do. Hubby is at work until 4pm. The party is at 1pm Sunday.

I thought about cancelling the party but that really isnt an option. I really have no one to call and ask for help. I live in an inlaw apartment attatched to my parents house and you would think they would help me by taking the kids for the day or somethiing, but no. I mean I havent asked, but I really dont want them to see me "sweat".

I dont think they realize how sick I am and probablly would never get it anyway.

I feel really overwhelmed and all I really want to do is sleep. Not to mention my neck hurts something awful.

I need some tips on how to get through the next 2 days!

I have been going in spurts, doing a little and resting and then doing a little more take another rest etc.

I took Provigil which I am dreading the effects of. Last time I had an interaction with my heart meds and I felt like I was going to die. I only took half this the provigil this time and skipped my morning heart meds (I know, not a genius move).

my doc said I could try a smaller dose of the provigil. I am also going to take some percoset in a while for my pain as it also gives me a little energy for some reason.

I am so defeated.

[Frown]

Melissa

Posted by Curiouser (Member # 14128) on :

Can you maybe recruit one or two of the 40 people who are supposed to be coming over tomorrow to help with the housework?

I've also found that having others help around the house lifts the OCD a bit.

*hugs*

Posted by not so sublime lyme (Member # 15185) on :

Melissa,

You sound a lot like me...I hate asking for help. But tell yourself that you are doing it for your kids and then force yourself to ask your parents to give you a hand.

They might not "get" how sick you are, but it doesn't really matter...everyone needs a little assistance sometimes. They might surprise you and actually be happy that you asked them...they might like knowing that you really need them---especially if you are the type of person that seems to always "have it all together".

Letting your parents know that you need them now might let them see that they could help you out a little more on a regular basis too. It might even lead to a more detailed discussion of your health and the beginning of some understanding. (And a chance for a family showing of Under Our Skin!)

And lastly, most grandparents would do anything for their grandchildren. When you ask for help, just say you need them to help make the day a special one for their grandchild. (That should do it!)

Posted by merrygirl (Member # 12041) on :

Thanks guys.

I feel slightly better. I called my hubby and he said dont do anything (ya right!) until he gets home he will do everything.

also my brother is here and I can get him to help me move things and watch the little ones.

Thanks again,
Melissa

Posted by LittleLymie19 (Member # 15610) on :

Sending you a big hug Merry....you're a strong, strong lady.

Posted by Geneal (Member # 10375) on :

Closets are wonderful hiding places for stuff. [Big Grin]

It may not help your OCD, but putting stuff out of mind may help.

I wouldn't clean too much.

Think of what your house is going to look like after the party. [Eek!]

after

Hang in there Mom.

Trust me, no one will open the closets to look for stuff.

Hugs,

Geneal

Posted by Ocean (Member # 3496) on :

I'm so sorry Merry!

I just had a party for my 5 year old daughter today. She wanted to have it at the park, so we just went to the park. No cleaning or stress that way. You probably can't consider something like that though, right?

It was COOOLLLLD though, Brrrr... we all froze!

It's OK if it isn't perfect, do they know you have Lyme? Even daily tasks seem to be huge things when you are sick.
Take care,
Ocean

Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :

Sending best wishes your way, merrygirl!!!!

I hope everything goes great. I thought, too, about asking some of the ones who are invited.

Hubby to the rescue! [group hug]

Posted by merrygirl (Member # 12041) on :

Well the party is over and the guests have left. I am in soooo much pain.

Thank goodness it is over. I must have been acting like a bit#! today.

Thanks for everyone's support,
Melissa

Posted by Tracy9 (Member # 7521) on :

Hey Melissa,
I am just now reading this well after the fact, but my advice is that parties like this are just not an option for us Lymies.

You are TOO SICK to be throwing a party for 40 people. It is a total setup for failure, even though the party went well, look how drained and depleted you are now?

At 3, he is young enough to not know what he is missing. I know it's over, but please try and think "outside the box" until you are well. You are too sick to do things like this.

No more parties!!! You need to rest and heal!!! Now that I've read this, I can understand even more why you are in a tough place now. You used up all of yourself!!!

Gotta save your energy for healing!

xoxoxoxoxox

Posted by lymeladyinNY (Member # 10235) on :

I had a birthday party for my 10 year old son with Down syndrome/autism two weeks ago and I'm STILL trying to recover.

I love my darling so much but he doesn't even know what a birthday IS.

Well, everyone tells me they had a good time. And my sweetie got lots of new toys to play with so it was worth it.

- Lymelady

Posted by merrygirl (Member # 12041) on :

Thanks Tracy.

You are so right. Me and my hubby talked about the Christmas party we usually have and we both agreed that we will NOT be doing it this year.

It really bums me out, but like you said I am too sick to be doing this crap.

I was trying to create a tradition for the family by doing the Holiday party, but it is going to have to wait until I am better.

My fondest memories are of Christmas, so this is hard for me, but a no brainer.

Thanks for your support as usual my friend,
Melissa

[kiss]

Posted by TNJanet (Member # 10031) on :

Hey.......what is a party? Couldn't resist. [dizzy]

Posted by ajisuun (Member # 17658) on :

I also am responding long after the fact. I'm glad you survived the party, but...what were you thinking??? One of the hardest parts of Lyme for me has been scaling back my expectations for myself and missing out on the fun stuff. I am fortunate that my Lyme symptoms started improving immediately (well, after herxing) on the doxycycline and now after 3 years of oral doxy and some herbal supplements, my primary remaining symptoms is chronic fatigue. This means that I can function, but not at full capacity. So jobs are completed late and housework doesn't get done. Also, I miss out on most "fun stuff" because I feel I can't squander my energy on it when it takes everything I have to try to do the basics of life and my job.

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