As many of you know, I have been doing so terrible lately.
Babesia has been hitting me hard with air hunger attacks lasting hours lately.
Bart has been kicking my butt with gut wrenching, all day anxiety as well.
I have been aching all over for some time now and can't get warm. My head hurts from the inside out and I can't concentrate or think straight most of the time.
My brain tremors in my sleep only to awaken me while I'm sleeping. Non-stop Vertigo has haunted me for the last 5 months now.
Many more symptoms.......... I started back on Rife and Salt/C and the Herxes were causing emotional baggage that I couldn't handle. I was begging for god to take me and even thinking of how to do it myself.
Then my 7 y.o. princess daughter awoke with 103.3 fever and was aching all over. The fevers have come and gone all day with Tylenol, but something hit me as she rested and I was sitting here all alone in the house. Not sure how or why it happened, but I said enough of this crap. I am going to start living.
I can't sit around anymore and look at the walls. I grabbed my Ipod, which has sat with a full charge for the last 3 months, and I put it on and then I put on my shoes and got on my treadmill for the first time in over a year. At first I thought of just walking, but I said, forget it. If I can make it through all of the above symptoms, then I can sure as hell run a little bit.
I don't even care if I overdid it, but I almost ran 2 miles. I walked only 1 of the laps. My Heart Rate got up to 178 and I was sweating all over the place. My body was saying I should slow down, but I kept telling myself this is nothing compared to the symptoms we all go through each and every day. Perhaps some die off came out of my skin. My daughter told me I stink like pee, so it's something :-).
Bottom line: I've been sick, but I've also been having a pity party for myself way too much.
Don't get me wrong, as I still need your guys support :-), but I'm gonna start trying to do everything that I can to start living a little.
This doesn't mean that I'm going back to work tomorrow or even for a 2 hour drive, but I am going to start doing things to keep my busy and active, obviously not during an air hunger attack or while the coffee enema hose is attached, but when I get some down time and not struggling so bad as was the case today, I will start getting off my butt and doing whatever, anything that doesn't have to do with Lyme.
I have let this disease consume me. I have become the disease. I will still post here, but I will not spend my days in front of the computer anymore.
I'm all sweaty as I sit here and type as I'm exhausted to take a shower, but I will find the energy and get myself in there in a few minutes.
The electric razor is going under the sink and I'm bringing out the lather and my straight edge. I will change my underwear every day now and gel my hair. No more hats.
We all have different cases, but my family needs their Dad back, and I'm determined to give them just that !
LT
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- Glad to see you feeling better. You might want to check out some great suggestions here for getting over those mountains:
* Page 27 for SUPPORTIVE THERAPY & the CERTAIN ABSOLUTE RULES
* Pages 31 - 32 for LYME DISEASE REHABILITATION and specifics in coordinating a safe rest / work-out schedule and Physical Therapy. -
[ 10-18-2009, 01:52 PM: Message edited by: Keebler ]
Posted by RDaywillcome (Member # 21454) on :
Good for you Dad! You may have lyme, but don't let it have you!
It will get better with time. Stay strong and you'll see what I mean.
There were days that I never thought I'd see the light at the end of that tunnel...but I've seen it and I'm living it. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Posted by bettyg (Member # 6147) on :
twister,
good for you taking back your life.
it's like the saying that it's HOW YOU PERCEIVE THINGS that will change things 90% !! good luck my friend Posted by PB4 (Member # 20799) on :
Twister, Because of what you wrote, I went in the
bathroom and colored my hair for the first time
since I have been sick. The grey roots made me
look like an old hag. I tossed my frumpy clothes
into the laundry and put on something nicer. It
was time, my friend, for me to pick myself up
and dust myself off and live better. Maybe I can
only do so much about the Lyme, but I can do
everything about my attitude. I feel better
today.
Blessings, PB
Posted by s0ngbird1962 (Member # 16395) on :
LOVE your attitude!!
Posted by ping (Member # 6974) on :
LT - I commend your spirited response! Usually getting started is the hardest part.
ping "We are more than containers for Lyme"
Posted by daisyrlb (Member # 15686) on :
So sorry about your little princess. Pray she is feeling totally well soon.
As for you, Whooo hooo--you ARE a Lyme Survivor Dad!
I encourage you to go to the Flash Discussion and read people's "Success Stories" (mine is towards the bottom of page 2)...any way you'll be inspired.
A little attitude, which you definitely have, makes a big difference---umm rather, makes THE difference.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[group hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
![[kiss]](graemlins/kissing.gif)
![[woohoo]](graemlins/woohoo.gif)
Usually getting started is the hardest part.