For those of you who gave me helpful advice when I posted my boyfriend thought I was faking the Lyme, I just wanted to say thank you for your support.
I went to an attorney and had him vacated from my house.
Now we are dealing with custody issues with my daughter and right now he has supervised visitation.
I wish I could say I feel better, but I don't. I am very hurt and confused and still hoping I did the right thing.
I started seeing a counselor and he said that my boyfriend was a narcissist and that they are nearly unfixable.
I had hoped that if he sought professional help he could improve. Sadly, I don't know if that is possible now.
It is hard being alone even though my daughter is here. I've never lived alone.
Thanks again for your support.
Posted by joalo (Member # 12752) on :
Thanks for posting. I was wondering how things went.
I know it feels weird at first to be 'single' but it is so much better for you and your daughter not having the abuser in your house.
Stay strong!! Posted by 22dreams (Member # 17846) on :
I am glad to hear, Wendi! and hope it all went as smoothly as it could for you.
Being so accustomed to walking on eggshells around a controller, it definitely is 'weird' when that is no longer there. It takes some adjustment. and healing.
Consider it a time to use the energy that you used on focusing on someone else, used on fear, to instead focus it on yourself, on resolving your own issues--this can be a scary proposition.
It is a Time-Out from the craziness and instead a period of healing on every level. Getting physically healthy in that environment would not have been possible. I would say don't be doubtful that this was the right thing.
Let's just say, even if your BF were fixable, it's not your job to heal him. Nor within your power to do so. Because if he could be healed, no one could do that but himself. Anything else would be an exercise in futility.
Know that you did the right thing for yourself. and since you have to have something to do with him because of your daughter, remember that PDs/controllers use their claims and cries of victimization and helplessness to manipulate our own doubt, fear, feelings of guilt and obligation--against us. As was said above, it's much better for both you and your growing, developing child not to be in a household with an abuser.
Be well.
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
Thank you for checking in and updating us. It will be difficult, but in the end, it will be better. Hang in there. Posted by abigail (Member # 14936) on :
It is hard living alone. Since I have gotten Lyme, it has been much harder to find somebody. I am on a free dating web site and state I am looking for a man with Lyme but haven't had any responses. I don't want to pass this disease to a healthy person, plus I want someone who has been there and done that. I understand what you are saying. Living alone is hard. My kids are older and sometimes they are gone for a few days. For me, that is really tough. But, when I was with somebody, I was very unhappy, so guess I'll just keep waiting.
Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :
Thanks for letting us know. Better for all around.
You will be OK.
Posted by Starfall1969 (Member # 17353) on :
Wendi,
Glad you took the brave step and got out. It is best in the long run.
And yes, you will go through periods of wondering if you did the right thing--that's normal.
You will be able to heal much better without a negative influence in your life.
Blessings to you and your daughter.
Posted by just don (Member # 1129) on :
Your never so alone as when your 'with' the wrong person.
Posted by 22dreams (Member # 17846) on :
quote:Originally posted by just don: Your never so alone as when your 'with' the wrong person.
ain't that the truth. Nothing more lonely than being lonely when you're 'with' someone. Actually being Alone is way-way under-rated especially considering some of the options out there. Even not considering anything else.
Posted by Dekrator48 (Member # 18239) on :
Give yourself some time and you will realize how surprised you are that life can be that much better than before.....trust me on this.
I applaud you for your courage and for doing what is in the best interest of your daughter.
Rise up everyday and become stronger....you are never alone here.
Posted by wendihk (Member # 20554) on :
Thank you all so much. I was amazed at my courage. He even tried to approach me in the parking lot at the court house. (Violating my order of protection)
I literally crossed the road and did a running walk into the court.
This is very hard. I keep thinking the last time I spoke with him was to say goodbye two weeks ago one morning and now he is gone.
I have to stay strong.
Posted by Pinelady (Member # 18524) on :
Listen to your counselor and these guys. It may be hard for a while but I think you will be happier down the road. Prayers.
Posted by sutherngrl (Member # 16270) on :
Believe me, down the road you will look back and know you did the right thing.
Posted by carly (Member # 14810) on :
You go girl! Stand up for yourself and for your daughter!
She will know what kind of treatment to accept from men by the example you provide.
![[kiss]](graemlins/kissing.gif)
I was wondering how things went.![[group hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
![[woohoo]](graemlins/woohoo.gif)
![[bow]](graemlins/bow.gif)
I give you lots of credit for your courage!