posted
For those of you who gave me helpful advice when I posted my boyfriend thought I was faking the Lyme, I just wanted to say thank you for your support.
I went to an attorney and had him vacated from my house.
Now we are dealing with custody issues with my daughter and right now he has supervised visitation.
I wish I could say I feel better, but I don't. I am very hurt and confused and still hoping I did the right thing.
I started seeing a counselor and he said that my boyfriend was a narcissist and that they are nearly unfixable.
I had hoped that if he sought professional help he could improve. Sadly, I don't know if that is possible now.
It is hard being alone even though my daughter is here. I've never lived alone.
Thanks again for your support.
Posts: 114 | From New York | Registered: Jun 2009
| IP: Logged |
joalo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12752
posted
Thanks for posting. I was wondering how things went.
I know it feels weird at first to be 'single' but it is so much better for you and your daughter not having the abuser in your house.
Stay strong!!
-------------------- Sick since January 1985. Misdiagnosed for 20 years. Tested CDC positive October 2005. Treating since April 2006. Posts: 3228 | From Somewhere west of the Mississippi | Registered: Aug 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
I am glad to hear, Wendi! and hope it all went as smoothly as it could for you.
Being so accustomed to walking on eggshells around a controller, it definitely is 'weird' when that is no longer there. It takes some adjustment. and healing.
Consider it a time to use the energy that you used on focusing on someone else, used on fear, to instead focus it on yourself, on resolving your own issues--this can be a scary proposition.
It is a Time-Out from the craziness and instead a period of healing on every level. Getting physically healthy in that environment would not have been possible. I would say don't be doubtful that this was the right thing.
Let's just say, even if your BF were fixable, it's not your job to heal him. Nor within your power to do so. Because if he could be healed, no one could do that but himself. Anything else would be an exercise in futility.
Know that you did the right thing for yourself. and since you have to have something to do with him because of your daughter, remember that PDs/controllers use their claims and cries of victimization and helplessness to manipulate our own doubt, fear, feelings of guilt and obligation--against us. As was said above, it's much better for both you and your growing, developing child not to be in a household with an abuser.
Be well.
Posts: 571 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Oct 2008
| IP: Logged |
sixgoofykids
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11141
posted
Thank you for checking in and updating us. It will be difficult, but in the end, it will be better. Hang in there.
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
It is hard living alone. Since I have gotten Lyme, it has been much harder to find somebody. I am on a free dating web site and state I am looking for a man with Lyme but haven't had any responses. I don't want to pass this disease to a healthy person, plus I want someone who has been there and done that. I understand what you are saying. Living alone is hard. My kids are older and sometimes they are gone for a few days. For me, that is really tough. But, when I was with somebody, I was very unhappy, so guess I'll just keep waiting.
-------------------- Dying is easy. Living is harder. Posts: 257 | From owensboro kentucky | Registered: Mar 2008
| IP: Logged |
kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Thanks for letting us know. Better for all around.
You will be OK.
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged |
Starfall1969
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 17353
posted
Wendi,
Glad you took the brave step and got out. It is best in the long run.
And yes, you will go through periods of wondering if you did the right thing--that's normal.
You will be able to heal much better without a negative influence in your life.
Blessings to you and your daughter.
Posts: 1682 | From Dillsburg, PA | Registered: Sep 2008
| IP: Logged |
just don
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1129
posted
Your never so alone as when your 'with' the wrong person.
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by just don: Your never so alone as when your 'with' the wrong person.
ain't that the truth. Nothing more lonely than being lonely when you're 'with' someone. Actually being Alone is way-way under-rated especially considering some of the options out there. Even not considering anything else.
Posts: 571 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Oct 2008
| IP: Logged |
Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
Give yourself some time and you will realize how surprised you are that life can be that much better than before.....trust me on this.
I applaud you for your courage and for doing what is in the best interest of your daughter.
Rise up everyday and become stronger....you are never alone here.
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
| IP: Logged |
posted
Thank you all so much. I was amazed at my courage. He even tried to approach me in the parking lot at the court house. (Violating my order of protection)
I literally crossed the road and did a running walk into the court.
This is very hard. I keep thinking the last time I spoke with him was to say goodbye two weeks ago one morning and now he is gone.
I have to stay strong.
Posts: 114 | From New York | Registered: Jun 2009
| IP: Logged |
Pinelady
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18524
posted
Listen to your counselor and these guys. It may be hard for a while but I think you will be happier down the road. Prayers.
-------------------- Suspected Lyme 07 Test neg One band migrating in IgG region unable to identify.Igenex Jan.09IFA titer 1:40 IND IgM neg pos 31 +++ 34 IND 39 IND 41 IND 83-93 + DX:Neuroborreliosis Posts: 5850 | From Kentucky | Registered: Dec 2008
| IP: Logged |
sutherngrl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16270
posted
Believe me, down the road you will look back and know you did the right thing.
Posts: 4035 | From Mississippi | Registered: Jul 2008
| IP: Logged |
The Lyme Disease Network is a non-profit organization funded by individual donations. If you would like to support the Network and the LymeNet system of Web services, please send your donations to:
The
Lyme Disease Network of New Jersey 907 Pebble Creek Court,
Pennington,
NJ08534USA http://www.lymenet.org/
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[kiss]](graemlins/kissing.gif)
I was wondering how things went.![[group hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
![[woohoo]](graemlins/woohoo.gif)
![[bow]](graemlins/bow.gif)
I give you lots of credit for your courage! 
Printer-friendly view of this topic