I was never a beauty queen, but having Lyme and co.'s has really aged me a lot and made me feel so unattractive. My self-esteem has plummeted!
Last weekend my husband saw a picture of me from 25 years ago when I was in my brother's wedding. He said, "Is that you?? Wow, the years have been hard on you."
I was so upset when he said that! It was so thoughtlessly mean. Later he clarified that having Lyme disease has been hard on my looks, not just time.
Oh, gee, thanks a million!
My husband has been wonderful in many ways, but I'm having a hard time getting over this one. If you don't have anything nice to say - say nothing! And don't expect me to cozy up to you anytime soon!
Posted by MidnightMoon (Member # 26717) on :
Ouch. I would hope beautiful woman that he shouldn't be expecting anything from you until he learns how to treat you. Teach him.
Michele
Posted by John S (Member # 19756) on :
He was probably joking.
Posted by Dekrator48 (Member # 18239) on :
Aww, I understand. I think I have aged alot in the last 10 years.
You may want to do something to make yourself feel better about how you look...like a makeover.
Get a new updated hairstyle, and see what you can update from your make-up routine.
I know that I would look really bad if I didn't take the time everyday to do my hair and makeup.
If you can, treat yourself also to a new, updated outfit. I think everyone can look younger and better if they have the right hairstyle, makeup, and clothing styles that are flattering.
I empathize with you.
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
I look way younger than my chronological age, thank goodness.....
BUT... all of us look "older" after 25 yrs has gone by. Who wouldn't!?
Maybe you just look older because you don't walk around with makeup and lipstick on?? Heck, I looked pretty bad while going thru treatment too!!
One day you will look and feel much better!!!
Posted by merrygirl (Member # 12041) on :
That wasnt nice to say. I bet he didnt mean it though.
I agree with the others and give yourself some special treeatment at hubby''s expense
Get a haircut pedicure/manicure new outfits facial massage
and then go somewhere with your girl friends!!
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
quote:Originally posted by merrygirl:
I agree with the others and give yourself some special treeatment at hubby''s expense
Get a haircut pedicure/manicure new outfits facial massage
and then go somewhere with your girl friends!!
Great idea!!
I recently put up a new picture on Facebook and a Lyme friend said that she wished I could put the new one of me sitting at my son's game along side of an old one of me sitting at my son's game back when I was sick because they look SO different. She said the change was remarkable and made her have hope that things could get better for her.
I didn't wear makeup very often when I was sick because by evening I didn't have enough strength to wash it off. I only washed my hair a couple times per week because I used up too much of that day's energy when I did.
It's hard to look good and be sick. It's hard to look young when you have bacteria feeding off your collagen.
Dig up a 25 year old picture of HIM!!!
Posted by Misfit (Member # 26270) on :
Men can say things without engaging their brains first. No doubt hes not GQ material after 25 years himself. I agree with the poster who suggested beauty treatments at his expense. Wouldnt work with mine..hed just say "whatever you want honey". Thats not as great as it sounds. But do something really nice for yourself! A little pampering goes a long way.
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
mine never engages brain before speaking....
it's my weight he comments on all the time...
i swear sometimes i could kill him....
Posted by Andie333 (Member # 7370) on :
I really looked terrible when my illness was at its worst. My face was pinched and drawn, my color was gray and my facial lines were a lot worse. My hair lost both its color (I'm a redhead) and its sheen. I looked older than I am now.
As I've gotten better, though, that has changed. Like Too, I'm blessed to look quite a bit younger at this point, anyway.
I just celebrated a milestone birthday, and most people who tried to guess my age, took 10 years off. I loved that.
This is also good for me, because the average age is my company is 27. I'm a lot older and happy not to look it.
Just by the way, I've been on antibiotics 5 years now.
Andie
Posted by lymeladyinNY (Member # 10235) on :
I think I deserve a pamper-me day, but yes, I've seen pictures of myself when I was deathly ill and I do look a lot better now than I did then!
I was gray and drawn in those pictures - uggh. So, I thought I looked better nowadays and that's why my husband's comment hurt!
Posted by TN Kim (Member # 26729) on :
Joking or not, that was a cold and insensitive thing to say! grrrrrrrrr!!!
Take his checkbook, credit card, whatever and go SHOPPING girlfriend!
Hang in there!
xxoo Kim
Posted by INEBG (Member # 27690) on :
That sounds like something my husband might say thinking he was empathizing with me and therefore being supportive. Sometimes they just don't get it. Maybe it was surprising to him to see what a toll this has taken on you and it opened up for him a little inkling of what you are going through. From what you say, it does seem he realized he'd said something insensitive.
These days I work a little harder to make myself look good because my face has aged a lot and my body has lost muscle tone. On the days I take the time to do make-up and am attentive to my outfit and accessories, not only do I look better, but I feel better about myself. There are a lot of days that I feel so awful I really don't care, but it's nice to know the option exists.
Maybe, if you are feeling unattractive, that's a good thing to do. Girl it up a little, for you, not him. It might make you feel better.
Posted by lymeladyinNY (Member # 10235) on :
Thanks for the advice. I think a makeover, just for me, would be just the thing.
Anyone who has read my other thread about my son knows that I need TLC in a big way right now.
If I don't start taking better care of myself in ALL ways I think I will drop dead. I feel so stressed and awful.
Thanks for being there for me, everyone. This board really does help so much. - Lymelady Julie
Posted by novy (Member # 25987) on :
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