Everyday you just struggle to survive another day and everyone around you seems to believe that your disease is just a minor one.
My uncle has asthma, and the other day he said well would you rather have asthma? I said any day of the week. He then looked at me like I was downplaying his disease! Asthma, I laugh at Asthma after this, and Asthma is no joke.
Some days, I just wish a truck would hit me and get it over with.
Posted by John S (Member # 19756) on :
Oops, I meant to put this in general.
Posted by renny1985 (Member # 25222) on :
I hear you. It really IS a struggle everyday. Stay strong. I'm trying to day in and day out. (minute by minute really right now).
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
Moving to general.
Posted by Misfit (Member # 26270) on :
I have a nephew who almost died more than once from an asthma attack. I dont want either one. I just want my life back! I want to live this life instead of just exist in it.
Posted by John S (Member # 19756) on :
Yeah, asthma is serious, but at least you can think and it is not constant.
Lyme is every system of your body being ground down every day of your life. It is unrelenting.
I still laugh at asthma after this.
Posted by linky123 (Member # 19974) on :
I agree. Asthma is serious, yes. My daughter has it and it is serious.
But asthma is not multi-faceted like lyme and can be controlled.
And it's not painful. The pain is the hardest part of lyme IMHO.
Hang in there John; you will be in our prayers.
Posted by John S (Member # 19756) on :
The worst part of Lyme for me is the mental fog. Pain sucks, but when your brain goes, the core that is really you diminishes.
Posted by linky123 (Member # 19974) on :
Yes, losing brain function is awful too. But you can get that back through tx.
Try not to get too discouraged; I know how hard it is, but you can come through this.
Posted by METALLlC BLUE (Member # 6628) on :
You'll make it through it John. Don't let go, don't give up hope.
Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :
yep..it is an uphill climb each day and difficult to find things that you can do and know when to do them.
Yesterday, I thought about writing a note as to why I threw in the towel because at times I feel like it is just too much.
Then, later that day I was able to get in the car and drive down a dirt road in a beautiful canyon a mile and a half from me.
it was amazing. While I was in the canyon, I was aware of how the lyme made me feel but also aware that I was able to be there and take my mind off of it for a short bit.
So thankful for my service dog which forces me to get out of the house and take care of myself and for the car that was donated to me and the camera.
Good to find some things that you can do now and then.
And look forward to those days when you are able to do things.
In the meantime John..sending my imaginary limo and limo driver over to take you away. Where would you like to go?
Posted by deerose (Member # 27484) on :
I really get what you mean that the core of you diminishes...the sense of your self.
Instead this other experience.
I will add my encouragements to take heart John. Been there so bad I wanted to die. Not suicide...just felt no way through to a different reality.
But I am now experiencing the improvement by dips and starts...that gives the glimmer that this will pass...the better moments increase.
The bad ones are still a bear to get through but at least I am accumulating experience that they do pass.
And it is so irregular a journey. tonight within the space of three hours I was greatly heartened and forward looking.
and also reduced to tears that I had no inkling if I would ever be a better recovered self...that I was holding people back etcetc. Heights to pits and back ...and back again.
Times were I did not know how to grab onto that those thoughts and feelings would change...my brain would interfere mentally and emotionally.
But it is still true. I am glad you shared the pit of despair you feel. That is courage of itself. And those with courage can make it through.
You have hope and a future.
Posted by missing (Member # 22437) on :
It's okay John, we all know how you feel.
I have just been crying from pain , again.
Can't think very clearly either.
I wish they could just put me into a coma until i was better.
Most people just don't get it, so I bombard them with articles that I find on this forum. Some of them are starting to get finally understand what I am going through.
Hang in there. PM me if you need to chat some more.
Posted by onbam (Member # 23758) on :
I go on because I know that if I don't, Steere gets what he wants. Choosing to live another day becomes an act of rebellion.
Posted by rozmil (Member # 28723) on :
Hey John, I only found out three weeks ago after being so ill for 3 years......I so feel your pain, all the different kinds, but it will be a better day tomorrow,......don't let it win, and I won't either. I am trying to find something to make me feel good(emotionally) every day.....however small, and a candy bar sometimes works for me......be a warrior John......we can do this and come out the other side
Posted by AlanaSuzanne (Member # 25882) on :
John, so many here get what you're saying.
My daughter has had severe asthma since she was a baby and we were in the ER more than I care to remember. Each time was very, very scary.
Watching your child struggling to breathe is torture. The first time she had trouble breathing we had no idea what was going on. If we hadn't gotten her help, well I can't even imagine.
Fast forward and here we are in Lymeworld.
The asthma my daughter endured pales in comparison to what she has been through the past several years with Lyme/cos. If torture had a definition, it is Lyme Disease. And, like you said, asthma is no joke.
Honey, we all have days when we wish a truck would hit us and just get us out of this hell. But don't let yourself stay there.
We are here to lift each other out of these bad times.
I'm extending my big mama bear paw out to you. Grab onto it and come back here. You will fight and at the end of the day you will win.
Posted by John S (Member # 19756) on :
Thanks for all the encouragement.
Posted by lymeladyinNY (Member # 10235) on :
I love you guys here on Lymenet. I've been having one of "those days" - crying and not feeling like I want to live.
You all help so much, even when the words aren't directed to me personally. Thank you.
Posted by INEBG (Member # 27690) on :
I try not to let myself take the long view with this disease because it is too scary, too discouraging, and too confusing. If today is good enough that I can do some things I like to do, if I'm not in bed writhing in pain or gasping for breath because I can't breathe, then that's a good day for me.
I don't know if it will help you, but that is what helps me. Just focus on the moment. If it's a bad one, know it will pass. If it's a good one, hang onto the glory of a moment of sunshine.
To me, even harder than the pain and the other disturbing symptoms, is the unfathomable controversy associated with this disease that leaves many of us feeling misunderstood and alienated. Thank goodness for LymeNet and a network of online friends who understand.
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