So spent, nauseaus, in pain. Been a busy weekend and I have been pushing myself through it. I am done. But I have 3 kids: 11,8,5 who will need me for many more hours.
What do you do when you have nothing left but you still have to. Feel so dizzy. I want to cry.
Gotta go get my son at a playdate now. That even seems like too much.
Posted by Twisted Jon (Member # 31236) on :
Totally understand where you are coming from. I have two boys, 7 and 5. They run me ragged from morning to night. It is all I can do on a daily basis to get the dishes done, sweep and laundry let alone the millions of things I need to do for them. I just take a deep breath and do my best. When it is all too much and I cannot do anything else I just tell them quiet time, daddy needs a few moments. Is all I can do really. I know this is not much help but I do understand...
Posted by Marine6624 (Member # 28052) on :
I understand what it`s like 2 kids 8 & 5 , drive me insane , I work 40 hrs a week , pick them up from school , then it`s homework , make dinner , get them to basketball and soccer , then home for showers ( daily regime ). thats just Mon-Fri. , I find myself just pushing through everyday by the grace og God ! Hang in there I will be praying for you , stay strong !
Posted by farraday (Member # 21494) on :
After 22 years of this I have learned a few tricks for kids. Now that my grandchildren live here with us, my tricks are once again being useful.
I keep special boxes of toys and games set aside. I used to put a large number on each box and I stored them up high. When it was rainy or Mom was sick, I would say "when you have finished your chores/homework, etc. you can pick one number box to play with". There would be much discussion about which number to choose because they never knew what they would find there. (A magic elf switched around toys and games while they slept). This provided hours of fun.
My mom used to call the hour or so before dinner "the witching hour". That is when kids act up while mom tries to fix dinner. Try to think of a special activity to save for that time. I used to keep craft supplies in the kitchen so the kids could work at the table while I cooked.
These days my grandkids watch old movies with me and we play cards, dominoes, crosswords, etc. But it is tough when you feel so lousy. All of you parents have my heartfelt sympathy! Keep talking to us and maybe we can help in some way.
Be sure to carpool and trade off the kids with your friends, church groups, etc. Find ANY good help that you can. Neighborhood teenagers can do very well in this role, playing with kids while you rest. Get the kids outdoors as much as possible.
I think one big problem we all have is our lack of socializing. We are too beat and confused. That is why we miss out on the advantages of networking. Ask a pastor, a friend or a neighbor to do it for you. Even the high school counselors or secretaries may know kids who can help you.
Posted by pme (Member # 31621) on :
This weekend I WAS the carpool. Previously I loved helping with other's kids. I also work with young children and have my own.
I really want to help friends out but it all proved too much this weekend. Plus allergies are kicking in.
I hide from the friends whose kids I helped with the fact that it is so taxing on me. (How can one explain the paradox of wanting to help even if it kills you?) I do have good friends but have shared little with them. It is hard to explain without a diagnosis.
Also, I find a lot of internal guilt between the mind and body. My mind still wants to do everything, but my body just says "UH.....nope". It is so frustrating. The mind is "who" I am.....who does my body think it is being a total control freak. I just hope I get my body back to the point where I can keep up with my hopes and dreams.
I hope that for all of you too!
Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :
I have my daughter 32 and grandsons living with us 7 & 10.
For me it is board games. I can play board games. They enjoy and can beat me. I started when they were much younger and every year at Christmas Nana adds to the board game collection.
It's family time around the table. I'm so glad they are past Candyland.
Pam
Posted by Laura_W (Member # 31491) on :
I have a 9 yr old son, and a 5 yr old daughter. Yup... totally understand... as I am a single mom.
Lately the house is a complete mess, and it is hard just to make sure that they have clean clothes and meals on the table... let alone all the extras...
They know I'm not able to do much... and that its because of the lyme disease. That I am working on getting better. That mommy is trying, that I don't mean to forget things, that I would do more if I could.
But, they also know that there friends are always welcome at our house. I'm not able to get outside much... but they play with their friends here quite a bit, and their friends know that I keep the cubords stocked with snacks for them.
We all want to do more....
I'm thankful that I have a neighbor that will help bring up some of the heavy groceries for me up the stairs....
And, I sometimes have the teenagers that use to babysit for me when I went out (doesn't happen much anymore) come over and help me clean, and give the kids some extra one on one play time.
Posted by unsure445 (Member # 15962) on :
I can totally relate to this. I remember taking my then 5 year old to the toy store to pick out a toy because I had been sleeping all day and he had to entertain himself. He selected a magic show set.
Sure enough we get home and the direction book is 2 inches thick and the print was miniscule!!!!
This is really hard. Remind yourself that there are lessons in your illness for everyone and that they are meant to learn from it as well.
Do what you can but don't push yourself too much or you will take longer to recover. Try to give into it so your body can heal.
Take a lot of deep breaths!!!
Posted by lpkayak (Member # 5230) on :
i don't know how i did it but i did. they all survived and are doing well. our relationship isn't that great...its hard to grow up with a sick parent. but they are successful in the eyes of others
i really learned to prioritize. many chore charts-everyone had to help. hired sitters etc. husband helped a lot but marriage ended eventually. house was dirty but i really tried to get to their peformances. couldn't shop for prom dress etc...but appreciated the new step-mom helping out.
not the way i planned my life but we did survive.
i remember lying down and falling asleep on the living room rug -too tired to walk down the hall to the bedroom...
good luck. hang in. they can be amazingly resilent. make sure they know you love them.
Posted by pme (Member # 31621) on :
Thanks for sharing everyone. Kids are great. I don't know that I have actually discussed this with them other than when I don't feel good. Otherwise I hide it, though I guess I am lucky I am not at the point that I can't hide it from them.
I don't have a diagnosis so I don't have a plan or a way to explain it to them. As a treat today...all three have playdates. Two are here and my middle daughter is at a friends. Gives me a little time before soccer tonight in the cold rain. Ugh.
Still no answers today as I had hoped but at least I have stopped crying in frustration (for now).
And....the last two nights I was too dizzy and nauseous to do anything. Today it's just the usual fatigue and headache and pain.
Posted by Carol in PA (Member # 5338) on :
When my sons were young, I was having problems with fibromyalgia, migraines, chronic fatigue.
I made supper every night, although many times it wasn't too fancy. I did baths, trimmed nails and hair. Did laundry and dishes.
I could not manage after school activities, I was just too exhausted. As far as I was concerned, kids that young didn't need it.
Posted by lpkayak (Member # 5230) on :
"Remind yourself that there are lessons in your illness for everyone and that they are meant to learn from it as well. "
IT HAS BEEN HELPFUL FOR ME TO REMEMBER THIS OVER THE YEARS
Posted by DanielleMC (Member # 22997) on :
I know exactly how you feel. I am a single mom of two boys (very outgoing boys at that), ages 6 and 4. I work a full time job, handle all afterschool sports activities, cook meals, laundry, clean and everything else that comes with it. Their father doesn't provide them with healthy meals or a clean home, so I feel obligated to cook a full course meal and keep a spotless home because I know they don't get it with him the two nights a week they spend there.
It is very tiring, and frustrating. I feel like just crying most of the time because I am soo tired, in so much pain and just mentally exhausted. I pray that these meds provide some relief soon.
I know my words probably don't help but it's nice to know that others struggle along with me. Although, I wish none of us had too. Praying for you all
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