First, how many of you were having terrific careers before this idiocy started?
I went from apprenticing with the best in my field; having a terrific lifestyle and being horribly naive about people to being on disability and being treated by people who define me by that disability as though I am refuse.
Before, and for most of the time I was ill, I believed there was a greater plan for me -- now, I'm an atheist! I wish I'd not been so religious before, because I'm sure I would have gone to one of the best Lyme specialists right away, because I would have been less trusting of people.
Anyway, as I emerge from this stupidity -- no kids (was sick); seeing that the world is largely geared toward people in their 20-30's -- IDK -- accepting, somehow, that my day to day life is this -- a vulnerable member of society, having once been pretty well at the top -- oftentimes now straddling both worlds. Weird.
Posted by GretaM (Member # 40917) on :
Me too.
I'm in a no man's land.
A crevasse.
Not at the beginning of my career, nor well established.
Not anyones kid anymore, yet no kids of my own.
Basically faded into the background of everything.
Posted by canbravelyme (Member # 9785) on :
Yep, our society only seems to appreciate the young, healthy and wealthy.
Otherwise, you don't matter and have nothing valuable to offer if you can't work. Stupid mentality really.
That's why I love the movie "I Am".
Sorry the link is at the top of my post. I'm having phone issues Posted by linky123 (Member # 19974) on :
I loved my job as a flight attendant, but quit to stay home when my kids were born.
While I don't regret doing that and feel it was the right thing, it has been much harder for me than working outside the home.
Everyone around me took it personally when I could not measure up to their expectations.
As the years wore on, I just got sicker, so it just offended everyone all the more.
I finally got dx and treatment 5 years ago and am now functional, but the damage is done.
This 'idiocy'(a good way to describe it) destroys everything.
[ 01-24-2014, 12:19 PM: Message edited by: linky123 ]
Posted by healthywealthywise (Member # 8595) on :
yep, great career until I became too sick to work. For 30 years, I was on top, making work friends rather than personal b/c I worked constantly...thus no time or places to meet new friends.
Now, the handful of good friends have died..and "work friends" totally forgot me when I had to leave the environment.
My mom used to say "old friends are the only real ones, work friends are just associates" you meet.
No one I worked with for all of those years tries to reach out or keep in touch. I was forgotten like yesterday's news. Sad...and lonely...and yes, a lot embarrassing on my part that I really thought they were true friends.
Lesson learned too late and I'm too sick to even go out to make new ones. Sad, sick, scary and lonely life.........
Posted by just don (Member # 1129) on :
this is the theme of MY life!!!!
Posted by GretaM (Member # 40917) on :
As Is
Friends.
You know when you go to a garage sale or a thrift store and something real great is chipped and cracked, so the price is a bargain because it isn't perfect and the sticker says As Is? But what you see is what you get?
Those are my LN friends.
And I am proud to be As Is and I am proud to have As Is friends like you.
And I think the world would be a much better place if folks started looking at the quality of a persons soul, rather than the quality of their shell.
Posted by linky123 (Member # 19974) on :
Am so grateful for LN as well. Would have lost my mind a long time ago without you guys.
Posted by lax mom (Member # 38743) on :
quote:Originally posted by GretaM: As Is
Friends.
You know when you go to a garage sale or a thrift store and something real great is chipped and cracked, so the price is a bargain because it isn't perfect and the sticker says As Is? But what you see is what you get?
Those are my LN friends.
And I am proud to be As Is and I am proud to have As Is friends like you.
And I think the world would be a much better place if folks started looking at the quality of a persons soul, rather than the quality of their shell.
Amen.
Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :
canbravelyme, oh my. My biggest grieving of this entire ordeal was the loss of my career. 28 yrs with same company.
Started as 16 yr old and then worked my way up the corp ladder. They threw me to the curb like I was trash.
They knew I was ill while I worked for over 2 1/2 yrs. Just like corp America and the Kroger Co to do that to others.
I was too naïve to think it could be done to me. They didn't treat people with cancer like that.
They let cancer patients take off from work as long as needed and didn't harass them. But one SOB that got ticked off because I chose ME over him and walked away....
decided to make my life hell. It took mental healthcare to get over the whole Kroger ordeal.
I still believe he is the one that interfered with my LTD, medical insurance coverage and everything else he could legally mess with.
Finally I realized my hate for this person is below me. He is a dirty dog. I firmly believe that dirty dogs always have their day. Someone else is in charge of judgment day.
I'm so sorry you lost your faith. I've never felt anything other than blessings along this journey.
I accepted finally my path in life was not to work myself to death in corp America. I'm glad that one day when I went to rise from bed to do another long miserable day at the Kroger office.....
that I finally was given the signal that it was over. I knew it was all about me and my recovery.
My recovery is an ongoing process. My path is now to learn and help others with this illness.
I have been taught some very important lessons about life. Things I would have never understood had I continued working for that company.
Take about bloodsuckers. Corp America is some of the nastiest life suckers out there.
I truly have had more blessings come my way. Treating lyme & co is rough and all the answers are still unknown.
But I have faith....our day will come. If and when I'm well enough to go to work. Believe me it won't be for Corp America. I'm smarter than that now.
Pam
Posted by lax mom (Member # 38743) on :
Kroger is THE worst map! My husband worked as the store chef in a "town" with "Middle" in the name and his supervisor harrassed and harrassed him while on FMLA with ulcers eating away his leg and a wound vac sucking on his leg.
He would never miss work, he would just go to the ER afterwards Until, it became impossible to survive like that anymore.
The happiest day was last week, he went to a follow up Drs appt in that town, now healed, he stopped by that store, they asked him if he was coming back and he said "Nope!"...he's back working in a restaurant where he's happy
You would think a union would treat it's employees well when they are sick...not so...unless they have an "acceptable" disease...then they will have fundraisers and roll out the red carpet for them.
Posted by lax mom (Member # 38743) on :
map: I needed therapy to accept that I could no longer work also. I worked for the state. I worked my tail off and nearly killed myself being "the best" at what I did.
When you get sick, you ARE treated like trash.
I could have sued many times over, but I choose to pick my battles and believe what goes around comes around.
Then during a brief remission (WAY before I knew what I had) I worked at Humana...OMG...biggest mistake of my life...the corporate world is NOT for me...that place is worse than gutter rats chasing after the last piece of moldy cheese. Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :
Funny lax, long before I finally threw in the towel....I was the one that hired the chefs for Kroger.
Your husband was after I was promoted to bigger and better, what a joke, grind you in the ground jobs.
I shop in that store that you are talking about. Ask hubby if he remembers any of the other chefs that I hired. In fact a trained chef took over my position and hired the chefs after I was so called promoted.
Just the other day in that store, I stopped and talked to an employee that I worked with 30 yrs ago. She had a flat of product fall on her back in the backroom.
They are still harassing this woman over money they owe for endangering her life. Yes, they put her back to work. But she has back issues and always will.
What a dog eat dog world that company has become. It didn't use to be like that. My husband can't wait to get out of there. He's counting down his 2 yrs until retirement.
I hope is he will go work somewhere where he enjoys himself. He has 38 yrs with them. He hates it. He's often told me I know you didn't want to be ill all these years, but believe me you would not have fit into the company and what it has become.
He's a Energizer Bunny and just because he's 62, I don't see the man stopping work. He works in another store and is the union rep. He wouldn't have let mgmt. mistreat any employee, especially one with an illness after the way they treated me.
Small world lax.
Pam
Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :
Yes, lax and I are using this public forum to let off some steam. Might be off topic but talk about human behavior that sucks the life out of some ill folks.
I've never publically done this. It felt good. Now lax and I will take it to private message board to continue our bashing of Kroger Corp America.
Thank you for healing writing and words.
Pam
[ 01-26-2014, 11:38 AM: Message edited by: map1131 ]
Posted by lax mom (Member # 38743) on :
Yep map...to the PM. I think many of us have experienced abuse from employers while sick and even protected by FMLA.
Posted by Rivendell (Member # 19922) on :
What this illness does to us is hell, and to explain it to the average person is a waste of time.
We are on our own.
I went through years of similar suffering. There is so much I could say, but I feel emotionally spent.
I just try to find happiness in whatever I can do that I enjoy, and forget it. But it is has taken a long time for me to get to this point.
Posted by momindeep (Member # 7618) on :
My daughter, around the age of 16 or so, said,"Mom, I think I rather have cancer, at least I would get some sympathy and understanding". Poor thing went through the wringer at school and in our little town where people love to gossip and slander...nothing I could do as a mom...I could not take the time to educate people about lyme...I was exhausted and at my absolute limit trying to save my daughter.
Posted by Rivendell (Member # 19922) on :
I don't understand why people want to be cruel. They are worse when they are with their gossipy frriends.
I understand it gives people a sense of power to knock another person down, but a little insight and compassions would show them that they could have a similar experience and one day need peoples help, understanding and support.
It is so strange and primitive.
Posted by lax mom (Member # 38743) on :
Rivendell, I agree.
It's very presumptuous for them to act as though they are immune from becoming disabled themselves.
I never could understand it. No one would dare be mean to someone in a wheelchair or who lost their hair due to cancer...but it's acceptable to kick those with invisible disabilities in the gut while they're down.
Posted by beaches (Member # 38251) on :
quote:Originally posted by momindeep: My daughter, around the age of 16 or so, said,"Mom, I think I rather have cancer, at least I would get some sympathy and understanding". Poor thing went through the wringer at school and in our little town where people love to gossip and slander...nothing I could do as a mom...I could not take the time to educate people about lyme...I was exhausted and at my absolute limit trying to save my daughter.
I so understand and get this.
Posted by Tincup (Member # 5829) on :
Blessed are you who take time to listen to difficult speech, for you help us to know that, if we persevere, we can be understood.
Blessed are you who walk with us in public places, and ignore the stares of strangers, for in your friendship we feel good to be ourselves.
Blessed are you who never bid us to "hurry up" and, more blessed, you who do not snatch our tasks from our hands to do them for us, for often we need time rather than help.
Blessed are you who stand beside us as we enter new and untried ventures, for our unsureness will be outweighed by the time when we surprise ourselves and you.
Blessed are you who ask for our help and realize our giftedness, for our greatest need is to be needed.
Blessed are you who help us with the graciousness of Christ, for often we need the help we cannot ask for.
Blessed are you when, by all things, you assure us that what makes us individuals is not our particular disability or difficulty but our beautiful God-given personhood which no handicapping condition can confine.
Rejoice and be glad for your understanding and love that has opened doors for us to enjoy life to its fullest, and you have helped us believe in ourselves as valued and gifted people.
Author unknown
Posted by surprise (Member # 34987) on :
I think the people that come to a public board where others are truly sick, and/ or their children or spouse are sick and suffering,
and they aren't real, they are posing, pretending, for whatever ulterior motive, maybe just for 'jollies',
that is the worst of human behavior.
Posted by canbravelyme (Member # 9785) on :
Boy oh boy, did I touch a nerve!
To think that we're all experiencing this horrible shared experience!
I'm glad I asked; I feel bolstered by us being in this together. Weird that even those who have been kicked so much can band together and gain strength.
Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :
canbravelyme, all my kicks to the curb started in Dec 2001. I say I got mental healthcare to accept and get over the ordeal.....
but just reading over this thread again, my stomach is in knots and I'm teary eyed.
The hurt is so deep in me. I guess there will always be triggers that ignite the pain caused by some very heartless and cruel people.
It doesn't really matter in my big picture other than the scar deep within my being. Just like a person that grieves over the loss of a loved one.
Yes, it gets better with time. But one still carries that grief deep within them. When someone loses "who" they think they were? That's grieving of ones former life and being.
I've never publically mentioned the company I worked for. I've always just called it Corp America. I needed to vent about who they are by name. It's the truth. I did bash them for my own selfish reasons. So be it.
Pam
Posted by surprise (Member # 34987) on :
Pam, I've had my own written words on here on vaccine threads and my daughter's past health issues, what we have been through and endured. I know what you are saying, about a grief that comes up-
I would like to think it's cathartic/ healing. Sending you warm thoughts-----
Posted by Lymedin2010 (Member # 34322) on :
Yay it's on YouTube! Thanks for finding that for us Lymedin2010.
Posted by linky123 (Member # 19974) on :
Being mocked, ridiculed, rejected over and over again takes its toll. And on top of being so sick.
It's just too much.
Posted by GretaM (Member # 40917) on :
It bothers me when people "share looks".
Perhaps I am reading too much into it, but when I say I spent 5 days in my house because I felt "sea sick" and they share a look, how am I supposed to interpret it?
Or the best is that I suspect an interventionn speech is looming. Almost a year treating. Some improvement. But I can see some folks are itching to intervene to discuss it may not be lyme etc etc. Thank you CDC and BC CDC for keeping us ill and making our friends families and coworkers think we're nutters.
Posted by Sammi (Member # 110) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tincup: Blessed are you who take time to listen to difficult speech, for you help us to know that, if we persevere, we can be understood.
Blessed are you who walk with us in public places, and ignore the stares of strangers, for in your friendship we feel good to be ourselves.
Blessed are you who never bid us to "hurry up" and, more blessed, you who do not snatch our tasks from our hands to do them for us, for often we need time rather than help.
Blessed are you who stand beside us as we enter new and untried ventures, for our unsureness will be outweighed by the time when we surprise ourselves and you.
Blessed are you who ask for our help and realize our giftedness, for our greatest need is to be needed.
Blessed are you who help us with the graciousness of Christ, for often we need the help we cannot ask for.
Blessed are you when, by all things, you assure us that what makes us individuals is not our particular disability or difficulty but our beautiful God-given personhood which no handicapping condition can confine.
Rejoice and be glad for your understanding and love that has opened doors for us to enjoy life to its fullest, and you have helped us believe in ourselves as valued and gifted people.
Author unknown
Tincup, this is beautiful! Thanks for posting it.
Posted by Muscle Car55 (Member # 34707) on :
quote:Originally posted by canbravelyme: Before, and for most of the time I was ill, I believed there was a greater plan for me -- now, I'm an atheist! I wish I'd not been so religious before, because I'm sure I would have gone to one of the best Lyme specialists right away, because I would have been less trusting of people.
I understand that some people need a faith to help them get through.
But some need to wake up and understand you need to take action to change your life, you can't count on magic to cure you.
I do have an open mind and think there may be some type of God or higher power that "creates," but it's no where near to what we think it is.
Everyone needs to understand your living organism and you're not more special than any other organism on this planet.
I'm sure there are people on a that cringe after reading this. Hundreds of years ago, if I said this they probably would of burn me at the stake, lol!
quote:Originally posted by canbravelyme:
First, how many of you were having terrific careers before this idiocy started?
Anyways I wouldn't dwell too much on your past, it could really eat you up inside!!!
Live in the now and think about the future! How you can cure yourself and one day be symptom free.
I too was very successful in a business, after getting Lyme, I would say that it successfully destroyed my career.
But you know what after making a change in diet, antibiotic treatment, and finding a quality LLMD. I'm getting closer and closer to getting my life back!!!
Do I thank some magical being for that? No I had to do my own research and take action myself!
[ 02-05-2014, 03:41 PM: Message edited by: Lymetoo ]
Posted by lax mom (Member # 38743) on :
If you don't believe in my God, fine...but don't call Him a "magical being"...period.
[ 02-05-2014, 03:41 PM: Message edited by: Lymetoo ]
Posted by linky123 (Member # 19974) on :
musclecar, I don't refer to your beliefs as 'BS' and would appreciate the same consideration from you.
[ 02-05-2014, 04:19 PM: Message edited by: linky123 ]
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Did a little editing. Let me know if I need to do more!!
PS .. Linky was speaking to "muscle car" here.
Posted by lax mom (Member # 38743) on :
Thanks ref...I mean, Lymetoo Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Any time! Posted by MADDOG (Member # 18) on :
Mankind was created and put in a perfect garden, lots of perfect food to eat.
No weeds to pull.
No ticks or buggs biting.
No disease.
I think Eve laid eggs, so no birth pains .
God came in the morning and talked to them.
All they had to (not) do was eat the fruit of one tree.
So they ate it got kicked out of the garden into a terrible world cursed with weed pulling and live painful births.
As well as bugs disease ect..
All we get out here is what we deserve for being so stupid in the garden.
But god did give his son, so we can be saved and in the next world have a perfect place again.
MADDOG
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Simply stated, MADDOG!
Posted by high brix (Member # 23676) on :
The book 'The Happiness Trap' has helped me deal with overwhelming circumstances
Gosh, I'm glad you were up for housecleaning Tutu.
Pam
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
I worked in civil rights. I truly have seen and Experienced things you cannot imagine. Looks, words, gropes, lies, discrimination, you name it, we dealt with it. Coworkers can be viciously cruel.
And race. Every one against each other.
I'm lucky I kept even a part of my humanity.
If I didnt believe that God loves me and there is something better, I'd go crazy.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
Until, it became impossible to survive like that anymore.![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[kiss]](graemlins/kissing.gif)