canbravelyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9785
posted
Hi guys,
Just a general kvetch, I guess
First, how many of you were having terrific careers before this idiocy started?
I went from apprenticing with the best in my field; having a terrific lifestyle and being horribly naive about people to being on disability and being treated by people who define me by that disability as though I am refuse.
Before, and for most of the time I was ill, I believed there was a greater plan for me -- now, I'm an atheist! I wish I'd not been so religious before, because I'm sure I would have gone to one of the best Lyme specialists right away, because I would have been less trusting of people.
Anyway, as I emerge from this stupidity -- no kids (was sick); seeing that the world is largely geared toward people in their 20-30's -- IDK -- accepting, somehow, that my day to day life is this -- a vulnerable member of society, having once been pretty well at the top -- oftentimes now straddling both worlds. Weird.
-------------------- For medical advice related to Lyme disease, please see an ILADS physician. Posts: 1494 | From Getting there... | Registered: Aug 2006
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GretaM
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 40917
posted
Me too.
I'm in a no man's land.
A crevasse.
Not at the beginning of my career, nor well established.
Not anyones kid anymore, yet no kids of my own.
Basically faded into the background of everything.
Posts: 4358 | From British Columbia, Canada | Registered: Jun 2013
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canbravelyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9785
posted
Oh ffs
-------------------- For medical advice related to Lyme disease, please see an ILADS physician. Posts: 1494 | From Getting there... | Registered: Aug 2006
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lax mom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 38743
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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posted
yep, great career until I became too sick to work. For 30 years, I was on top, making work friends rather than personal b/c I worked constantly...thus no time or places to meet new friends.
Now, the handful of good friends have died..and "work friends" totally forgot me when I had to leave the environment.
My mom used to say "old friends are the only real ones, work friends are just associates" you meet.
No one I worked with for all of those years tries to reach out or keep in touch. I was forgotten like yesterday's news. Sad...and lonely...and yes, a lot embarrassing on my part that I really thought they were true friends.
Lesson learned too late and I'm too sick to even go out to make new ones. Sad, sick, scary and lonely life.........
Posts: 867 | From PA | Registered: Jan 2006
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just don
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-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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GretaM
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 40917
posted
As Is
Friends.
You know when you go to a garage sale or a thrift store and something real great is chipped and cracked, so the price is a bargain because it isn't perfect and the sticker says As Is? But what you see is what you get?
Those are my LN friends.
And I am proud to be As Is and I am proud to have As Is friends like you.
And I think the world would be a much better place if folks started looking at the quality of a persons soul, rather than the quality of their shell.
Posts: 4358 | From British Columbia, Canada | Registered: Jun 2013
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linky123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19974
posted
Am so grateful for LN as well. Would have lost my mind a long time ago without you guys.
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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lax mom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 38743
posted
quote:Originally posted by GretaM: As Is
Friends.
You know when you go to a garage sale or a thrift store and something real great is chipped and cracked, so the price is a bargain because it isn't perfect and the sticker says As Is? But what you see is what you get?
Those are my LN friends.
And I am proud to be As Is and I am proud to have As Is friends like you.
And I think the world would be a much better place if folks started looking at the quality of a persons soul, rather than the quality of their shell.
map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
canbravelyme, oh my. My biggest grieving of this entire ordeal was the loss of my career. 28 yrs with same company.
Started as 16 yr old and then worked my way up the corp ladder. They threw me to the curb like I was trash.
They knew I was ill while I worked for over 2 1/2 yrs. Just like corp America and the Kroger Co to do that to others.
I was too naïve to think it could be done to me. They didn't treat people with cancer like that.
They let cancer patients take off from work as long as needed and didn't harass them. But one SOB that got ticked off because I chose ME over him and walked away....
decided to make my life hell. It took mental healthcare to get over the whole Kroger ordeal.
I still believe he is the one that interfered with my LTD, medical insurance coverage and everything else he could legally mess with.
Finally I realized my hate for this person is below me. He is a dirty dog. I firmly believe that dirty dogs always have their day. Someone else is in charge of judgment day.
I'm so sorry you lost your faith. I've never felt anything other than blessings along this journey.
I accepted finally my path in life was not to work myself to death in corp America. I'm glad that one day when I went to rise from bed to do another long miserable day at the Kroger office.....
that I finally was given the signal that it was over. I knew it was all about me and my recovery.
My recovery is an ongoing process. My path is now to learn and help others with this illness.
I have been taught some very important lessons about life. Things I would have never understood had I continued working for that company.
Take about bloodsuckers. Corp America is some of the nastiest life suckers out there.
I truly have had more blessings come my way. Treating lyme & co is rough and all the answers are still unknown.
But I have faith....our day will come. If and when I'm well enough to go to work. Believe me it won't be for Corp America. I'm smarter than that now.
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6495 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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lax mom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 38743
posted
Kroger is THE worst map! My husband worked as the store chef in a "town" with "Middle" in the name and his supervisor harrassed and harrassed him while on FMLA with ulcers eating away his leg and a wound vac sucking on his leg.
He would never miss work, he would just go to the ER afterwards Until, it became impossible to survive like that anymore.
The happiest day was last week, he went to a follow up Drs appt in that town, now healed, he stopped by that store, they asked him if he was coming back and he said "Nope!"...he's back working in a restaurant where he's happy
You would think a union would treat it's employees well when they are sick...not so...unless they have an "acceptable" disease...then they will have fundraisers and roll out the red carpet for them.
lax mom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 38743
posted
map: I needed therapy to accept that I could no longer work also. I worked for the state. I worked my tail off and nearly killed myself being "the best" at what I did.
When you get sick, you ARE treated like trash.
I could have sued many times over, but I choose to pick my battles and believe what goes around comes around.
Then during a brief remission (WAY before I knew what I had) I worked at Humana...OMG...biggest mistake of my life...the corporate world is NOT for me...that place is worse than gutter rats chasing after the last piece of moldy cheese.
map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
Funny lax, long before I finally threw in the towel....I was the one that hired the chefs for Kroger.
Your husband was after I was promoted to bigger and better, what a joke, grind you in the ground jobs.
I shop in that store that you are talking about. Ask hubby if he remembers any of the other chefs that I hired. In fact a trained chef took over my position and hired the chefs after I was so called promoted.
Just the other day in that store, I stopped and talked to an employee that I worked with 30 yrs ago. She had a flat of product fall on her back in the backroom.
They are still harassing this woman over money they owe for endangering her life. Yes, they put her back to work. But she has back issues and always will.
What a dog eat dog world that company has become. It didn't use to be like that. My husband can't wait to get out of there. He's counting down his 2 yrs until retirement.
I hope is he will go work somewhere where he enjoys himself. He has 38 yrs with them. He hates it. He's often told me I know you didn't want to be ill all these years, but believe me you would not have fit into the company and what it has become.
He's a Energizer Bunny and just because he's 62, I don't see the man stopping work. He works in another store and is the union rep. He wouldn't have let mgmt. mistreat any employee, especially one with an illness after the way they treated me.
Small world lax.
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6495 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
Yes, lax and I are using this public forum to let off some steam. Might be off topic but talk about human behavior that sucks the life out of some ill folks.
I've never publically done this. It felt good. Now lax and I will take it to private message board to continue our bashing of Kroger Corp America.
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6495 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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lax mom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 38743
posted
Yep map...to the PM. I think many of us have experienced abuse from employers while sick and even protected by FMLA.
momindeep
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7618
posted
My daughter, around the age of 16 or so, said,"Mom, I think I rather have cancer, at least I would get some sympathy and understanding". Poor thing went through the wringer at school and in our little town where people love to gossip and slander...nothing I could do as a mom...I could not take the time to educate people about lyme...I was exhausted and at my absolute limit trying to save my daughter.
Posts: 1512 | From Glenwood City WI | Registered: Jul 2005
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Rivendell
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19922
posted
I don't understand why people want to be cruel. They are worse when they are with their gossipy frriends.
I understand it gives people a sense of power to knock another person down, but a little insight and compassions would show them that they could have a similar experience and one day need peoples help, understanding and support.
lax mom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 38743
posted
Rivendell, I agree.
It's very presumptuous for them to act as though they are immune from becoming disabled themselves.
I never could understand it. No one would dare be mean to someone in a wheelchair or who lost their hair due to cancer...but it's acceptable to kick those with invisible disabilities in the gut while they're down.
beaches
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 38251
posted
quote:Originally posted by momindeep: My daughter, around the age of 16 or so, said,"Mom, I think I rather have cancer, at least I would get some sympathy and understanding". Poor thing went through the wringer at school and in our little town where people love to gossip and slander...nothing I could do as a mom...I could not take the time to educate people about lyme...I was exhausted and at my absolute limit trying to save my daughter.
I so understand and get this.
Posts: 1885 | From here | Registered: Jul 2012
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Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5829
posted
Blessed are you who take time to listen to difficult speech, for you help us to know that, if we persevere, we can be understood.
Blessed are you who walk with us in public places, and ignore the stares of strangers, for in your friendship we feel good to be ourselves.
Blessed are you who never bid us to "hurry up" and, more blessed, you who do not snatch our tasks from our hands to do them for us, for often we need time rather than help.
Blessed are you who stand beside us as we enter new and untried ventures, for our unsureness will be outweighed by the time when we surprise ourselves and you.
Blessed are you who ask for our help and realize our giftedness, for our greatest need is to be needed.
Blessed are you who help us with the graciousness of Christ, for often we need the help we cannot ask for.
Blessed are you when, by all things, you assure us that what makes us individuals is not our particular disability or difficulty but our beautiful God-given personhood which no handicapping condition can confine.
Rejoice and be glad for your understanding and love that has opened doors for us to enjoy life to its fullest, and you have helped us believe in ourselves as valued and gifted people.
surprise
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 34987
posted
I think the people that come to a public board where others are truly sick, and/ or their children or spouse are sick and suffering,
and they aren't real, they are posing, pretending, for whatever ulterior motive, maybe just for 'jollies',
that is the worst of human behavior.
-------------------- Lyme positive PCR blood, and positive Bartonella henselae Igenex, 2011. low positive Fry biofilm test, 2012. Update 7/16- After extensive treatments, doing okay! Posts: 2518 | From USA | Registered: Nov 2011
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canbravelyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9785
posted
Boy oh boy, did I touch a nerve!
To think that we're all experiencing this horrible shared experience!
I'm glad I asked; I feel bolstered by us being in this together. Weird that even those who have been kicked so much can band together and gain strength.
-------------------- For medical advice related to Lyme disease, please see an ILADS physician. Posts: 1494 | From Getting there... | Registered: Aug 2006
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
canbravelyme, all my kicks to the curb started in Dec 2001. I say I got mental healthcare to accept and get over the ordeal.....
but just reading over this thread again, my stomach is in knots and I'm teary eyed.
The hurt is so deep in me. I guess there will always be triggers that ignite the pain caused by some very heartless and cruel people.
It doesn't really matter in my big picture other than the scar deep within my being. Just like a person that grieves over the loss of a loved one.
Yes, it gets better with time. But one still carries that grief deep within them. When someone loses "who" they think they were? That's grieving of ones former life and being.
I've never publically mentioned the company I worked for. I've always just called it Corp America. I needed to vent about who they are by name. It's the truth. I did bash them for my own selfish reasons. So be it.
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6495 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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surprise
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 34987
posted
Pam, I've had my own written words on here on vaccine threads and my daughter's past health issues, what we have been through and endured. I know what you are saying, about a grief that comes up-
I would like to think it's cathartic/ healing. Sending you warm thoughts-----
-------------------- Lyme positive PCR blood, and positive Bartonella henselae Igenex, 2011. low positive Fry biofilm test, 2012. Update 7/16- After extensive treatments, doing okay! Posts: 2518 | From USA | Registered: Nov 2011
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Lymedin2010
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 34322
linky123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19974
posted
Being mocked, ridiculed, rejected over and over again takes its toll. And on top of being so sick.
It's just too much.
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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GretaM
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 40917
posted
It bothers me when people "share looks".
Perhaps I am reading too much into it, but when I say I spent 5 days in my house because I felt "sea sick" and they share a look, how am I supposed to interpret it?
Or the best is that I suspect an interventionn speech is looming. Almost a year treating. Some improvement. But I can see some folks are itching to intervene to discuss it may not be lyme etc etc. Thank you CDC and BC CDC for keeping us ill and making our friends families and coworkers think we're nutters.
Posts: 4358 | From British Columbia, Canada | Registered: Jun 2013
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Sammi
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 110
posted
quote:Originally posted by Tincup: Blessed are you who take time to listen to difficult speech, for you help us to know that, if we persevere, we can be understood.
Blessed are you who walk with us in public places, and ignore the stares of strangers, for in your friendship we feel good to be ourselves.
Blessed are you who never bid us to "hurry up" and, more blessed, you who do not snatch our tasks from our hands to do them for us, for often we need time rather than help.
Blessed are you who stand beside us as we enter new and untried ventures, for our unsureness will be outweighed by the time when we surprise ourselves and you.
Blessed are you who ask for our help and realize our giftedness, for our greatest need is to be needed.
Blessed are you who help us with the graciousness of Christ, for often we need the help we cannot ask for.
Blessed are you when, by all things, you assure us that what makes us individuals is not our particular disability or difficulty but our beautiful God-given personhood which no handicapping condition can confine.
Rejoice and be glad for your understanding and love that has opened doors for us to enjoy life to its fullest, and you have helped us believe in ourselves as valued and gifted people.
Author unknown
Tincup, this is beautiful! Thanks for posting it.
Posts: 4682 | Registered: Oct 2000
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quote:Originally posted by canbravelyme: Before, and for most of the time I was ill, I believed there was a greater plan for me -- now, I'm an atheist! I wish I'd not been so religious before, because I'm sure I would have gone to one of the best Lyme specialists right away, because I would have been less trusting of people.
I understand that some people need a faith to help them get through.
But some need to wake up and understand you need to take action to change your life, you can't count on magic to cure you.
I do have an open mind and think there may be some type of God or higher power that "creates," but it's no where near to what we think it is.
Everyone needs to understand your living organism and you're not more special than any other organism on this planet.
I'm sure there are people on a that cringe after reading this. Hundreds of years ago, if I said this they probably would of burn me at the stake, lol!
quote:Originally posted by canbravelyme:
First, how many of you were having terrific careers before this idiocy started?
Anyways I wouldn't dwell too much on your past, it could really eat you up inside!!!
Live in the now and think about the future! How you can cure yourself and one day be symptom free.
I too was very successful in a business, after getting Lyme, I would say that it successfully destroyed my career.
But you know what after making a change in diet, antibiotic treatment, and finding a quality LLMD. I'm getting closer and closer to getting my life back!!!
Do I thank some magical being for that? No I had to do my own research and take action myself!
[ 02-05-2014, 03:41 PM: Message edited by: Lymetoo ]
Posts: 267 | From MI | Registered: Oct 2011
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lax mom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 38743
posted
If you don't believe in my God, fine...but don't call Him a "magical being"...period.
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
Gosh, I'm glad you were up for housecleaning Tutu.
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6495 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
I worked in civil rights. I truly have seen and Experienced things you cannot imagine. Looks, words, gropes, lies, discrimination, you name it, we dealt with it. Coworkers can be viciously cruel.
And race. Every one against each other.
I'm lucky I kept even a part of my humanity.
If I didnt believe that God loves me and there is something better, I'd go crazy.
So yep people can be truly amazing creatures.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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