Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passionfruit.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower and stand on bathmat.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your *** !
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Take a pee.
Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.
Dry off forearms and butt only.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.
Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
Posted by SayYesh (Member # 8343) on :
LOL! So true, so true !
Posted by lymedad (Member # 8074) on :
Nancy,
Shame on you, "scratch his *****".
Men don't do that.
Posted by nancyb (Member # 10154) on :
But I saw it once. I just figured all guys did.
Btw, I was censored! I typed *** and it came out as ***.
There. It just did it again!
Posted by Geneal (Member # 10375) on :
How true, how true!!!! That is so funny. Thanks for the laugh.
Geneal
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Posted by lymedesign (Member # 8791) on :
Thanks for the laugh. So, so true...
Posted by just don (Member # 1129) on :
Oh my!!! Tell me this ISNT so,,,cant be!!!
Are you guys serious???
Its WAAAY to cold for any such thing.
The 'string' is all froze tight.
Least I can follow the string and see where it is 'supposed' to be!!!
Any body that woo-woo's his wee-wee needs more help than a LLMD!!! He needs a wwotbmd!!
Get serious here,cant happen,,,prove it!!!
Posted by HaplyCarlessdave (Member # 413) on :
I thought I commented that I didn't realize it was so popular to type in stereo these days... but I must have closed the window and had to run off to night-ski with some maniacs who never had Lyme. Wow- up lots of sucky hills, hardly slowing down... So now, I'm seriously "hammered". It was nice to get out, though. But ANYway, I digress. How to shower? Well, when it's this cold the same rule applies to men or women---as quick as possible, but still sufficiently, I'd say--sufficiently and e-fficiently. In this weather, get done before the water gets cold, or you'll be real sorry!
DaveS
Posted by meg (Member # 22) on :
I think the cold water would have a necessary chilling effect
Posted by stymielymie (Member # 10044) on :
i take lots of cold showers since my wife left!!!
and who wears clothes in the house anyway????
so do you shower wo-wo up or head down???? i was asked this on the other thread but did not understand, please explain!!!
docdave Posted by jedibelle (Member # 3794) on :
LOL. Woo-woo up or head down? Really? How do I say this nicely... which way does your "head" face in the shower is what I think the question means...
Posted by stymielymie (Member # 10044) on :
don't know somebody asked me this on the mascara post.
don't ask how i got on the mascara post, you'll just have to find out for yourself.
docdave Posted by CaliforniaLyme (Member # 7136) on :
I never ever take showers only baths*&)*!)*)! OFTEN with my little girl WITH me (eeek!*)! Squeezing bath toys so water spurts at my face... *SIGH*
A hot solo bath is a dream at this point*)!*)!
ONE DAY*)_!!!!!!
Posted by charlie (Member # 25) on :
I guess this says it all....Jenny just howled when she saw it. you probably need a fast connection to see it...
Charlie: Yep! That about sums it all up!!! Posted by stymielymie (Member # 10044) on :
i always used to take a bath like that, only it was my wife and 4 dogs in the tub. no beer, only tea.
docdave, nobdy answered my question yet, i don't understand how women take showers????
docdave
Posted by treepatrol (Member # 4117) on :
There aint no shakin in my shower its in the basement of the house I bought a few ago and a the heat isnt pumped to that area yet.
Deffinatly no shaken the weiner hahahahah you be lucky to get a hold of it hahahaha its cold down ther hahaha Posted by stella marie (Member # 7216) on :
nancyb, thanks for the laugh.
I'm having a rough time today and it was a welcome reprieve. That was laugh out loud moment! Posted by on :
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