LymeNet Flash: How do YOU shower?

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»	LymeNet Flash » Questions and Discussion » Off Topic » How do YOU shower?

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Author

Topic: How do YOU shower?

nancyb
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 10154

posted

How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long
loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passionfruit.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower and stand on bathmat.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your *** !

Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Take a pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.

Dry off forearms and butt only.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

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The Canadian Lyme Disease Foundation www.canlyme.com

Posts: 128 | From Canada | Registered: Sep 2006 | IP: Logged |

SayYesh
Member
Member # 8343

posted

LOL! So true, so true !

Posts: 90 | From New Jersey | Registered: Nov 2005 | IP: Logged |

lymedad
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 8074

posted

Nancy,

Shame on you, "scratch his *****".

Men don't do that.

Posts: 681 | From California | Registered: Oct 2005 | IP: Logged |

nancyb
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 10154

posted

But I saw it once. I just figured all guys did.

Btw, I was censored! I typed *** and it came out as ***.

There. It just did it again!

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The Canadian Lyme Disease Foundation www.canlyme.com

Posts: 128 | From Canada | Registered: Sep 2006 | IP: Logged |

Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375

posted

How true, how true!!!! That is so funny. Thanks for the laugh.

Geneal

Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006 | IP: Logged |

Lymetoo
Moderator
Member # 743

posted

--------------------
--Lymetutu--
Opinions, not medical advice!

Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001 | IP: Logged |

lymedesign
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 8791

posted

Thanks for the laugh. So, so true...

Posts: 263 | From Georgia | Registered: Feb 2006 | IP: Logged |

just don
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1129

posted

Oh my!!! Tell me this ISNT so,,,cant be!!!

Are you guys serious???

Its WAAAY to cold for any such thing.

The 'string' is all froze tight.

Least I can follow the string and see where it is 'supposed' to be!!!

Any body that woo-woo's his wee-wee needs more help than a LLMD!!! He needs a wwotbmd!!

Get serious here,cant happen,,,prove it!!!

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just don

Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001 | IP: Logged |

HaplyCarlessdave
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 413

posted

I thought I commented that I didn't realize it
was so popular to type in stereo these days... but I must have closed the window and had to run off to night-ski with some maniacs who never had Lyme. Wow- up lots of sucky hills, hardly slowing down... So now, I'm seriously "hammered". It was nice to get out, though.
But ANYway, I digress. How to shower? Well, when it's this cold the same rule applies to men or women---as quick as possible, but still sufficiently, I'd say--sufficiently and e-fficiently. In this weather, get done before the water gets cold, or you'll be real sorry!

DaveS

Posts: 4567 | From ithaca, NY, usa | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged |

Meg
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 22

posted

I think the cold water would have a necessary chilling effect

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Success Stories---Treatment Guidelines

Posts: 10010 | From somewhERE OVER THE Rainbow | Registered: Oct 2000 | IP: Logged |

stymielymie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10044

posted

i take lots of cold showers since my wife left!!!

and who wears clothes in the house
anyway????

so do you shower wo-wo up or head down????
i was asked this on the other thread but did
not understand, please explain!!!

docdave [Eek!]

Posts: 1820 | From Boone and Southport, NC | Registered: Sep 2006 | IP: Logged |

jedibelle
Member
Member # 3794

posted

LOL. Woo-woo up or head down? Really? How do I say this nicely... which way does your "head" face in the shower is what I think the question means...

Posts: 41 | From Toronto, formerly of CT | Registered: Apr 2003 | IP: Logged |

stymielymie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10044

posted

don't know somebody asked me this on the mascara post.

don't ask how i got on the mascara post, you'll
just have to find out for yourself.

docdave [group hug]

Posts: 1820 | From Boone and Southport, NC | Registered: Sep 2006 | IP: Logged |

CaliforniaLyme
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 7136

posted

I never ever take showers only baths*&)*!)*)!
OFTEN with my little girl WITH me (eeek!*)!
Squeezing bath toys so water spurts at my face... *SIGH*

A hot solo bath is a dream at this point*)!*)!

ONE DAY*)_!!!!!!

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There is no wealth but life.
-John Ruskin

All truth goes through 3 stages: first it is ridiculed: then it is violently opposed: finally it is accepted as self evident. - Schopenhauer

Posts: 5639 | From Aptos CA USA | Registered: Apr 2005 | IP: Logged |

charlie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 25

posted

I guess this says it all....Jenny just howled when she saw it. you probably need a fast connection to see it...

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1210632752391041706

Posts: 2804 | From Texas | Registered: Oct 2000 | IP: Logged |

CJ
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 169

posted

Charlie:
Yep! That about sums it all up!!!
[spinning smile]

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here's hoping today is better than yesterday and tomorrow is even better!

Posts: 239 | From Evansville, IN | Registered: Oct 2000 | IP: Logged |

stymielymie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10044

posted

i always used to take a bath like that,
only it was my wife and 4 dogs in the tub.
no beer, only tea.

docdave,
nobdy answered my question yet,
i don't understand how women take showers????

docdave

Posts: 1820 | From Boone and Southport, NC | Registered: Sep 2006 | IP: Logged |

treepatrol
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 4117

posted

There aint no shakin in my shower its in the basement of the house I bought a few ago and a the heat isnt pumped to that area yet.

Deffinatly no shaken the weiner hahahahah you be lucky to get a hold of it hahahaha its cold down ther hahaha [Big Grin]

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Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Remember Iam not a Doctor Just someone struggling like you with Tick Borne Diseases.

Newbie Links

Posts: 10564 | From PA Where the Creeks are Red | Registered: Jun 2003 | IP: Logged |

stella marie
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 7216

posted

nancyb, thanks for the laugh.

I'm having a rough time today and it was a welcome reprieve. That was laugh out loud moment! [Wink]

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Stella Marie

Posts: 694 | From US | Registered: Apr 2005 | IP: Logged |

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