posted
I finally got help logging back on to lymenet after a very long time.
I lost my husband just ten day before our 1st aniversary over a week ago. He had an accident and was ejected from a crane while doing upstate repairs from hurrican irene.
The trauma center said there were no broken bones but they gave him dilaudid for the pain and he went into repiratory failure on the third day. They had to put him on a respirator and told me they coudl wean him a day or two.
He developed a fever I told them to test for lyme. He was positive for lyme babs and bart and a staph infection. They said it was the least of his issues but they treated him with all the abx at one through a central line in his neck.
He was not able to be weaned after two weeks so they put a trach in his neck and said he would be sitting in a chair the next day. That night, 100 miles away in a hotel, I got the call that said "Ms S, Joseph went into cardiac arrest and expired!" That was all he said to me.
I no longer have any lyme treatment or anyway of getting to a lyme doctor since my vertigo keeps me from driving or even walking. I managed to have a wake and funeral with the help of xanax, a cane, and my girls.
I am so sick still, no treatment, no money to even buy food now and will probably have to find a way to empty my house and sell it. SSD decided to review my case again after only a few months of receiving benefits. I have a phone interview on monday.
My husbands ex and his boys are doing everythign they can to make my life harder. They took all the bank books and upstate property and vehicles that he owned since the will was never updated.
I called a malpractice lawyer concering my husband since so so many things were done wrong. THey want me to bring his body back up for an autopsy! I cannot do this so only God knows what really happened. I was told by a nurse that his trach developed a blot clot and he couldnt breathe. They suctioned him (most likely too late) and his heart stopped.
Sorry for the long story but I want to die. I have nothting to live for anymore and I sit here alone in this house and think of how horrible his death had to be, alone, tied down and drowning without being ablt to talk for help.
-------------------- Diagnosed with chronic neuro lyme 12/10 after 30 years of vertigo.2 tick bites in 3 yrs from upstate NY. Was on omincef for nine mths..zith and rifampin stopped.Remission~ All the pain and symptoms are back and I am not treating now with biaxin. Posts: 788 | From New york..queens | Registered: Nov 2010
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posted
Anne..I am very Sorry to read this. Hang in there please..I've been feeling real down myself and have not been through nearly the exp you have. I'm hear to listen if you need a friend. Best wishes..
Maria.
Posts: 267 | From South | Registered: Oct 2011
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linky123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19974
posted
Annier,
I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.
Take care and God bless.
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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tdtid
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10276
posted
Annier, I am so very sorry to read this. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Hugs!!!!
Cathy
-------------------- "To Dream The Impossible Dream" Man of La Mancha Posts: 2638 | From New Hampshire | Registered: Oct 2006
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momintexas
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 23391
posted
Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss and all of the troubles you are having.
My thoughts are with you.
Posts: 1408 | From Tx | Registered: Nov 2009
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posted
This is so tragic and beyond sad. I'm so sorry, Annie. May God hold your hand and comfort you. God bless you as you travel this long valley.
Is there any way you could get a lawyer so you can get some of the property back? You WERE legally married, right? So you DO have some rights.
Please stay with us. We will do what we can for you. Do you have any immediate needs?
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96223 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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Jane2904
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15917
posted
So sorry for your tragic loss.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Posts: 1357 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Jun 2008
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Tricky Tickey
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26546
posted
This is such sad news. My message for annie is please don't give up now. You've come too far to stop. It won't feel this awful forever. You have too much to share to check out on us. You are very much appreciated in this life. Hang on by a thread until it becomes more sturdy.
We care about you.
-------------------- Early Disseminated LD- 2010. Currently doing acupuncture and yoga. Negative Igenex (IND & Pos Bands) ISSUES AFTER: Tendonitis, letter reversal, Low immune system. PREVENTION:SaltC,Iodine,Humaworm, Chiropractic. Posts: 1013 | From In a van down by the river. | Registered: Jun 2010
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posted
I am so sorry for all that you have been through and my thoughts are with you.
-------------------- Down on her knees, she wept on the floor. This hopeless life, she wanted no more. Dead in the mind and cold to the bone, She opened her eyes and saw she was alone. ~Seether Posts: 427 | From Rhode Island | Registered: May 2011
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Ouch
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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posted
I wish there was something to say that will help. I'm so sorry. I will pray for complete restoration of your health, your property and wealth, and healing the grief over the loss of your husband.
Posts: 707 | From Colorado | Registered: Jul 2010
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payne
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26248
posted
ann, Hope and prayers in your hardship and finding the path, The Lord has layed out for you. Please seek the Lord and His Glory in all things... may your life take a change that comforts you and brings meaning to you. Find the rock, and be stronger then you have ever been ... wayne
-------------------- TULAREMIA/rabbit fever ? Posts: 1931 | From mid-michigan | Registered: Jun 2010
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kidsgotlyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 23691
posted
I'm so sorry for your loss.
-------------------- symptoms since 1993 that I can remember. 9/2018 diagnosed with Borellia, Babesia Duncani, and Bartonella Hensalae thru DNA Connections. Posts: 1470 | From Tennessee | Registered: Dec 2009
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Carol in PA
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5338
posted
Oh dear, this is awful. I am so sorry about your husband.
Posts: 6947 | From Lancaster, PA | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
I'm so sorry. Lymetoo is right--as his wife, you have certain rights under the law. You need to find a lawyer to help you.
Posts: 227 | From Northeast | Registered: Mar 2010
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
I am so sorry for you. One word of advice. If they took these possessions before you have or had the will probated they are in violation of a court peer, the will. How did they get these items.' did he give them to them.' if not you can have your lawyer force them to give them back. I would suggest locking the house and chAnging locks. Also put papers and valuables in a box with hour name on it
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
annier,
I am so deeply sorry for your tragic loss.
I will pray for all your needs to be met, for you to find all the strength and comfort you need, and for restoration of your health.
It may seem like you are alone, but God is right there with you, holding you up when you cannot do it yourself.
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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penguingirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28688
posted
So sorry for your loss and your situation.
Praying that you do not give up - please do everything you can to fight for your life and fight for your rights.
-------------------- Posts: 1204 | From USA | Registered: Oct 2010
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BoxerMom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 25251
posted
This is beyond tragic. I am so, so very sorry.
Find comfort in anything you can. I've read that the spirits of those who love us are still able to comfort us. Please do not focus on his death. That is over. He is in a place of peace and love, and I know he would want you to focus on that.
The pain will lessen with time, and you will find ways to treat your Lyme. One day at a time for now.
merrygirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12041
posted
sorry doesnt cut it. Its really awful.. I am so sorry. I would be lost without my husband. My thoughts are with you.
Posts: 3905 | From USA | Registered: May 2007
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ktkdommer
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 29020
posted
You must be heartbroken. I'm sure he would want you to fight the fight. I'm sorry for your loss and complicated family matters. Take care of yourself!
-------------------- Things are never dull. After 3 fighting Lyme, 2 are in remission. Youngest is still sick, age 22. He has new diagnosed Chiari Malformation and Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Posts: 1366 | From Perrysburg, Ohio | Registered: Nov 2010
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blinkie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 14470
posted
I'm so sad to hear your story. Please, please, if you have never done so before, please seek God out to get you through this time. He is the only way one can find peace to keep moving forward when your life has crumbled before you.
Take one day at a time too. I'm going to pray for you, ok. Just, please don't give up. We never know what God is doing, but he is using our misery for ministry somewhere, to reach someone.
Posts: 1104 | From N.California | Registered: Jan 2008
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dmc
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5102
posted
I'm so sorry to hear your tragedy. Will pray for you. My condolences on the loss of your husband.
Posts: 2675 | From ct, usa | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
Please know I will be praying for you....how terrible and tragic.
Lean on Him for strength...
Posts: 396 | From EAPennsylvania | Registered: Dec 2007
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momindeep
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7618
posted
Praying for you. I'm so very very, sorry.
Posts: 1512 | From Glenwood City WI | Registered: Jul 2005
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Abxnomore
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18936
posted
I'm very, very sad to know that you are experiencing such deep pain and have suffered such a terrible loss. We are here for you Ann-- your Lymenet friends.
daisyrlb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15686
posted
Annier, So very sorry for your great loss. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through. So tragic. If it were possible I'd reach in this computer and hug you. I'm praying for you.
Posts: 2188 | From Oklahoma | Registered: May 2008
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nonna05
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 33557
posted
Lord Annie, I'm so ,so sad and mad that you are having to go through this.. I have a bit of this happening now in my life. BUT for the Grace of God......... I hope you're connected to a church or group locally.... I know you're down to your last thread, please hold on... It seems like every thing possible has hit you. I pray with Blinkie, that the Lord is in your life..
Was he seperated from his ex long??? .In other words was there time and space between marriages to show your rights as a wife??/ Also the probate issue might be good that they can't walk away with everything. Do you have a copy of this "WILL". I'm no lawyer but maybe one will help through church or contingent.
Food? are you well enough to go to the help organizations? Is there family anywhere for you.
Age will have alot to do about what's available etc. You can PM me if you want. I've been around ,through and over some very rough valley's..
You are LOVED.....Nonna
Posts: 2563 | From Denver,CO | Registered: Aug 2011
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lymeinhell
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4622
posted
I am truly sorry for your loss.
There are times when mere words seem so insufficient...
Please know that we are here for you.
-------------------- Julie _ _ ___ _ _ lymeinhell
Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed. Posts: 2258 | From a better place than I was 11 yrs ago | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Thank yoiu all for your prayers and kind words. I am still numb one minute, angry at him the next minute, and panicking and sobbing on the floor half the day.
He was my rock, kept me sane and kept me going. I miss hearing I love you every five seconds and having him cover me at night when he thought I was sleeping.
He was separated since 1998, legally divorced in 2001 and we were together since january 2000. We just married last year and were ten days short of our anniversary when he passed.
He had not updated the will from way back so the upstate property goes to his boys along with the life insurance, annuity etc..That is ok with me. I have the house we were in but with a HUGE mortgage on it. I doubt I will be able to handle it but I am so sick that it is taking me all day to get rid of just a few things.
I am not able to get to a church or any group and I so wish I could. I need to talk to someone fast. I cannot even get to my own doc appts now without him to drive me.
My daughtesr are getting me tomorrow to spend the weekend in brooklyn with them in my old apartment. They want me out of queens and back with the family but sellign a house is a long process and I dont have the strength to undo all we put together here in the last few years.
I lay in the dark at night and talk to my husband and ask him for some sign that the is by my side. It is strange but our kitty stares up at the ceiling all the time now and I feel she sees or senses he is with us. I can only pray that he is.
-------------------- Diagnosed with chronic neuro lyme 12/10 after 30 years of vertigo.2 tick bites in 3 yrs from upstate NY. Was on omincef for nine mths..zith and rifampin stopped.Remission~ All the pain and symptoms are back and I am not treating now with biaxin. Posts: 788 | From New york..queens | Registered: Nov 2010
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Thank you for posting. I am so sorry for what you're going through.
I'm thankful your daughters will be with you (& kitty) for the weekend. You'll need support and hugs now.
You are in our prayers. Know the Lord is close to the brokenhearted.
-------------------- Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. Posts: 338 | From NEPA | Registered: Mar 2011
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Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what you must be going through.
I just wanted to let you know that if your husband made the will while he was still married to his first wife, the divorce may have invalidated it. You need to check with an attorney.
Posts: 227 | From Northeast | Registered: Mar 2010
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posted
I just don't have any words.. I'm so sorry. Try with all your might to hold on, one day, one minute at a time! May God bless you.
-------------------- "The simple things can get you through the hardest times." Posts: 628 | From Connecticut | Registered: Sep 2010
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
annier,
Please call any church that you wish and ask for the pastor/priest to make a home visit to you.
Explain that you are very sick and just lost your husband.
Any good church will respond to that need.
I am continuing to pray for you, dear.
Our Lord knows the heartbreak you are feeling.
He is there with you always and He will get you through this.
Your husband obviously loved you very much.
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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fflutterby
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28081
posted
So sad, Praying for you Annier !!!
-------------------- Psalm 46 1 God is our refuge and strength Posts: 1367 | From North Jersey | Registered: Sep 2010
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posted
So sorry for your loss. And yes, I agree that you should call a church in the area even if you are not a member there. Or some hospitals have volunteer chaplain services and could probably find you someone to talk to.
And please consult a lawyer -- someone should be willing to at least talk to you at no charge for a brief visit.
As to the will -- a lot depends on what state you are in. Hubby is a CPA and he went to a very interesting seminar years ago regarding estates and probate. Afterwards he was able to talk his grandfather into going to a lawyer and writing a will.
His grandfather was an oldtime tobacco farmer with a 3rd grade education. He thought he could leave all of his property to his own children and nothing to his 2nd wife (he had been widowed) and the 2nd wife had kids by a previous marriage.
In North Carolina the law used to be that a wife was entitled to a child's portion of the estate which was considered one-sixth of the property value -- REGARDLESS OF HOW THE WILL WAS WRITTEN. Unless there was a valid reason he could not disinherit his wife in favor of his kids.
I have no idea of the estate laws in the state where you live. But it is possible that you might be entitled to a portion of the other assets besides the house regardless of what the old will says.
And a lawyer could advise you regarding the possible autopsy. There may be a legal case against the hospital.
I didn't understand if your husband was on the job or working on his own property when he died. If he was on the job there could be a worker's comp claim involved.
Also -- I think social security is reviewing way more cases than usual to try to cut funding. Hubby just got his letter as well. If you haven't been to a doctor that will make your case tougher, but I would explain the current situation and ask for more time so you can get to an LLMD and have those office notes on file when your case is reviewed.
And please don't give up on yourself -- I am sure your husband would not want you to do that.
Bea Seibert
Posts: 7306 | From Martinsville,VA,USA | Registered: Oct 2004
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lymeladyinNY
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10235
posted
I am deeply sorry that you've lost your dear husband with whom you shared a great love. I'm grateful you have daughters who seem to want to help.
I imagine you MUST have some rights here, and I'm so sorry your husband's ex and sons swooped right in. Couldn't they have waited at least?
I'm so, so sorry!!
-------------------- I want to be free Posts: 1170 | From Endicott, NY | Registered: Sep 2006
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Please call any church that you wish and ask for the pastor/priest to make a home visit to you.
Explain that you are very sick and just lost your husband.
Any good church will respond to that need.
- YES! Please do that. Or the hospital's chaplain. Good ideas.
Love and hugs to you.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96223 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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Abxnomore
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18936
posted
Ann, I would take seibertneurolyme's advice and speak to a lawyer. In New York State one cannot disinherit their wife unless there is a pre-nup agreement.
I am not a lawyer but I think regardless of the out dated will you are entitled to a portion of the estate. Seek legal counsel to get this clarified.
Again, I'm sorry for your loss and pain.
Posts: 5191 | From Lyme Zone | Registered: Jan 2009
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posted
May you always feel his presence and his love. Let your daughters care for you. It's perfectly ok to need them and rely on them.
Posts: 707 | From Colorado | Registered: Jul 2010
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posted
I ask that you all contribute to the Green Santa program to help Annie in whatever way you can.
Being widowed is hell. Having Lyme/cos is hell. Having kids on top of that and having difficulty keeping a roof over your head is a special kind of hell when you no longer have your spouse.
Prayers are great and I'd urge everyone to keep them coming.
From a practical standpoint, this lady needs a lot more than our prayers. She needs help meeting her and her daughters' basic needs. She has LD and is sick like so many of us here.
If you can help this lady in ANY capacity, I'd suggest that you contact Julie (aka the guardian angel of LN) and volunteer extraordinaire of the Green Santa program.
Or if you prefer, you can PM me.
-------------------- You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'
---Eleanor Roosevelt Posts: 748 | From somewhere | Registered: May 2010
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posted
No heat? Oh no. Can you get a couple cheap space heaters from walmart until you get the heat worked out?
Posts: 707 | From Colorado | Registered: Jul 2010
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posted
I just read this post today and must say how very very sorry I am for your loss and all you've been through. May Jesus wrap his loving arms around you and give you peace, and may you find joy in him as you grieve.
-------------------- diagnosed with fibromyalgia 1992 Lyme disease Jan 2011 give it all to the LORD everyday Posts: 38 | From southwest michigan | Registered: Nov 2010
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quote:Originally posted by AlanaSuzanne: I ask that you all contribute to the Green Santa program to help Annie in whatever way you can.
Being widowed is hell. Having Lyme/cos is hell. Having kids on top of that and having difficulty keeping a roof over your head is a special kind of hell when you no longer have your spouse.
Prayers are great and I'd urge everyone to keep them coming.
From a practical standpoint, this lady needs a lot more than our prayers. She needs help meeting her and her daughters' basic needs. She has LD and is sick like so many of us here.
If you can help this lady in ANY capacity, I'd suggest that you contact Julie (aka the guardian angel of LN) and volunteer extraordinaire of the Green Santa program.
Or if you prefer, you can PM me.
First and foremost - I am so sorry for you loss and the hardship you are having to endure. I cannot imagine what you are going through and I will pray for your family.
Alana- it is very kind of you to want to help this family out - If you want to be in charge of helping her at Christmas that is fine.
But as far as Operation Green Santa goes, it must go through me. I know you just want to help her and I would be happy to put her and her children on the Green Santa list (with her permission). But it will get confusing to people if you are asking them to help with Green Santa, but pm'ing you for this family.
I try to be fair and make sure that each family gets equal Santa's, etc. and it will be impossible for me to keep track this way.
It is so hard to write a post explaining this; I hope you understand what I am saying. I think you are very kind wanting to help
If I put this family on the Green Santa list, they will have to contact me directly. If others want to help this family, it will be outside of Operation Green Santa and they will have to contact Alana. If people want to help others in the Green Santa program, they should contact me.
Julie
Posts: 494 | From Michigan, USA | Registered: Jul 2002
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bcb1200
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 25745
posted
So sorry to hear this.
Hugs to you.
-------------------- Bite date ? 2/10 symptoms began 5/10 dx'd, after 3 months numerous test and doctors
IgM Igenex +/CDC + + 23/25, 30, 31, 34, 41, 83/93
Currently on:
Currently at around 95% +/- most days. Posts: 3134 | From Massachusetts | Registered: May 2010
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I am sorry that Alana's request is causing a problem. You do not have to put me on this list.I dont want to get anyone into trouble.
THank you for your offering to help me. I am trying to stay afloat and began to sell everyting in my home. I told my family already that we cannot have xmas gifts anymore. We will just go to the cemetery and celebrate with my husband. They understand. Ann
-------------------- Diagnosed with chronic neuro lyme 12/10 after 30 years of vertigo.2 tick bites in 3 yrs from upstate NY. Was on omincef for nine mths..zith and rifampin stopped.Remission~ All the pain and symptoms are back and I am not treating now with biaxin. Posts: 788 | From New york..queens | Registered: Nov 2010
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posted
OMG Annier, of course your family understands, but no one wants you to go without Christmas gifts. I really don't think Julie meant to imply that helping you was a problem. I think she's trying to make sure neither you, nor anyone else gets overlooked. We are just all so sorry for you.
Posts: 707 | From Colorado | Registered: Jul 2010
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posted
If you have a huge mortgage on the house, I am wondering if you still have any equity in the house, because of the decline in house values the last couple of years.
If you don't want to stay in the house, or can't because the house payments are too much, one alternative is to walk away and let the bank take it. They will foreclose and it will hurt your credit, so there are also reasons not to do this.
Depends on your situation and what you want to do. Probably very hard to think or plan at this point.
If you want to stay and the payments are too much, there is a govt program to help refinance the house and lower the payments. Have heard that it doesn't help as many people as they originally hoped it would, and there are hoops to jump thru, but if you are consulting professional help, this would be one thing to look into.
Posts: 8430 | From Not available | Registered: Oct 2000
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scorpiogirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 31907
posted
Wow and we think we had it bad. I'm so sorry for your loss! I'm sorry you're having to go through all this alone!
-------------------- Posts: 1391 | From Lyme Land | Registered: May 2011
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Please don't let us 'thinking out loud' on here sound wrong or uncaring to you.
This is just the opposite. Many of us would like to help you in whatever way we can.
If we all lived in the same neighborhood, we could bring meals, slip $10. under your door or whatever.
It gets so big because we do care and we are so dispersed.
You are in our prayers and thoughts. We need to help each other, we're in this together.
-------------------- Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. Posts: 338 | From NEPA | Registered: Mar 2011
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17hens
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 23747
posted
Oh my, Annie. There are no words. I'm so very sorry.
-------------------- "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalms 73:26
bit 4/09, diagnosed 1/10 Posts: 3043 | From PA | Registered: Dec 2009
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posted
Dkat...God bless you for your thoughts. I am just in such pain emotionally now. I know that one day I will be with my husband again, pain and dizzy free and we will enjoy each other for eternity. That is all I need right now, is my dreams.
-------------------- Diagnosed with chronic neuro lyme 12/10 after 30 years of vertigo.2 tick bites in 3 yrs from upstate NY. Was on omincef for nine mths..zith and rifampin stopped.Remission~ All the pain and symptoms are back and I am not treating now with biaxin. Posts: 788 | From New york..queens | Registered: Nov 2010
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Dogsandcats
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28544
posted
I am so sorry. May the Holy Spirit be your comforter in the days ahead.
-------------------- God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham Posts: 1967 | From California | Registered: Oct 2010
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posted
I just read through this - am very sorry for what you're going through -
I hope you will at least be getting help to get to the doctor as needed, whether it be through your daughters, or maybe some help from a local NY Lyme support group? They would be listed with Support Groups.
Posts: 13117 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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I am sorry that Alana's request is causing a problem. You do not have to put me on this list.I dont want to get anyone into trouble.
THank you for your offering to help me. I am trying to stay afloat and began to sell everyting in my home. I told my family already that we cannot have xmas gifts anymore. We will just go to the cemetery and celebrate with my husband. They understand. Ann
It isn't a problem to put your family on the Green Santa list at all. I was just trying to let Alana and others know that if they want to help you specifically, then it needs to be done another way.
Sorry my post was misunderstood - I really tried to word it so that it wouldn't get misread.
Julie
Posts: 494 | From Michigan, USA | Registered: Jul 2002
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I got to my GP with my daughter but they have taken off too many days already while my husband was in ICU upstate. They would not let me stay alone up there in a hotel.
I am not going to my lyme doctor. THere is not way in this world I could lay out that money ever. I just have to hope for the best right now.
I have been putting many things on amazon and ebay and making a small amount of money, but it helps right now. I am figuring it will be just a few months before I lose the house..hoping it is after the cold winter ahead!
God has to have some relief ahead for me. This cant be my life now.
-------------------- Diagnosed with chronic neuro lyme 12/10 after 30 years of vertigo.2 tick bites in 3 yrs from upstate NY. Was on omincef for nine mths..zith and rifampin stopped.Remission~ All the pain and symptoms are back and I am not treating now with biaxin. Posts: 788 | From New york..queens | Registered: Nov 2010
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aklnwlf
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5960
posted
Annier, you're in my thoughts and prayers.
-------------------- Do not take this as medical advice. This comment is based on opinion and personal experience only.
Alaska Lone Wolf Posts: 6157 | From Columbus, GA | Registered: Jul 2004
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fflutterby
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28081
posted
Annier, may God wrap His loving arms around you through this. I am still praying for you, and will continue to do so.
-------------------- Psalm 46 1 God is our refuge and strength Posts: 1367 | From North Jersey | Registered: Sep 2010
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Rumigirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15091
posted
Annie,
I just saw this thread now. OMG, i was worried about you before . . . but this is beyond the beyond!!! I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. This, on top of what you were dealing with already, due to the Lyme, etc., has to be unbearable. And his ex's family, yikes! You need the help of an excellent lawyer ASAP. ANd surely they would be willing to do a phone consult or house call under the circumstances. Get a referral for someone who is good with this kind of case.
You need lots of help of every variety right now, as people have been suggesting. Please don't be shy about asking for it, be it here, from a lawyer, from a church, etc.
You also need to look into tapping into your husband's social security benefits, unless that isn't possible yet, due to his age (I don't know how that works). Here again, a good lawyer could help, or a social worker, or both would be good. A good social worker could help you to tap into whatever social agencies could help right now and on-going.
As people have said, you also need the help of a lawyer in a malpractice lawsuit, too. That might be a different lawyer from the will issue.
Make sure that you have a good SSDI lawyer to help on that front, too. Wow, you need someone to help on every front---what an assault! Lord have mercy on you.
Yes, call a church and see how they can help, as it is way too much for you to do all by yourself. Plus, you need someone to help you get to your dr appointments, etc. What about Access-a-Ride for that? I'm sure that you are eligible for that. Or do you need even more help than that to negotiate getting from the vehicle to the building, etc.?
Oh, and on the LLMD issue, I will PM you in the next day or so with some ideas I have on how to deal with that. That shouldn't be neglected, but you don't have to go back to the same one.
Lord lift her up! And all of us lift you up, too.
Posts: 3771 | From around | Registered: Mar 2008
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Thank you so much for all the advice. I cancelled my lyme doc appt for tues..there is no way I can afford to see him anymore or even to get there.
I had applied for access a ride last years and was denied (hard to believe but true!) I called SSD and I am entitled to 71% of my husbands SS benefits since I just turned 50 and am disabled. It is minimal but it is something.
I called the councilman here and they sent me papers for disabiliy tax exemption papers for the house. There is so much involved in doing them and I am half a brain anyway now...but will try.
I had a two malpractice lawyers who have now decided not to take the case. They said since there was no autopsy (I never knew they didnt do one and never even thought of it at the time) it would be too hard to prove the overdose of the drug. God has to give me strength because we all know that the hospital caused his death. he was fine until this med was given to him and now he is gone from us.
I have to see what a probate lawyer costs (looking for the cheap ones) to contest the will. His ex got everything and took everything from me except this house that is under our names but newly mortgaged so I am sure she wouldnt want this one. I just cant think of fighting right now for any of my rights but I think I have to get the strength.
I need prayers right now to even go on. Luv Ann
-------------------- Diagnosed with chronic neuro lyme 12/10 after 30 years of vertigo.2 tick bites in 3 yrs from upstate NY. Was on omincef for nine mths..zith and rifampin stopped.Remission~ All the pain and symptoms are back and I am not treating now with biaxin. Posts: 788 | From New york..queens | Registered: Nov 2010
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posted
You may want to call the bar association for your state, maybe a law school, maybe some big law firms around and ask if they do any pro bono (free) work for those in need. That would be ideal. Sometimes bigger law firms can better afford to do pro bono work and you can get a top notch lawyer for free
I just googled "new York pro bono attorneys" and there were a lot of links. Many of them were directed at lawyers wanting to do pro bono work but you could still call them to get information and/or ask for a referral. Heres one link but there were several. http://www.probono.net/ny/nyc/
I sure hope you can find someone to help out here.
Posts: 707 | From Colorado | Registered: Jul 2010
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I got legal shield from the internet..25 dollars a month and they give you a contact number and claim number to a local law firm..Mine is in suffolk county.
I hope I am not being scammed but the seem to be legit from what I have read. The regular lawyers wanted 750 an hour!!! I couldnt talk that fast!
-------------------- Diagnosed with chronic neuro lyme 12/10 after 30 years of vertigo.2 tick bites in 3 yrs from upstate NY. Was on omincef for nine mths..zith and rifampin stopped.Remission~ All the pain and symptoms are back and I am not treating now with biaxin. Posts: 788 | From New york..queens | Registered: Nov 2010
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Abxnomore
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18936
posted
Good find. I mentioned in a previous post that under NY state law a spouse cannot disinherit his wife.
The real question is did his will still name his previous wife in it. If it did I am sure that will, will be deemed null and void as it relates to the ex-wife, as she is no longer the legal spouse.
The children will be entitled to their share but the courts will have to decide, since there was not an updated will since your marriage, how the estate will be divided under the law of New York State.
In effect, the old will cannot be followed to the letter, as it's in violation of the law.
Posts: 5191 | From Lyme Zone | Registered: Jan 2009
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posted
Hoping and praying it all works out. May you receive your fair portion of his estate and may you have complete healing of your body and your heart!
Posts: 707 | From Colorado | Registered: Jul 2010
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
just for information. my husband's friend was married a while ago, divorced and got a new wife.
died within a couple of years. did not update any personal information.
the old will left everything to his first wife. even his insurance policies were made out to her.
new wife sued, lost. first wife took everything including the stuff that was in joint name. reason: she owned his half and since the new wife did not have enough money to buy her out, she had to sell and give her the money.
crazy but that's what happened.
as soon as i got married (he had a first wife and two kids), i made him redo that will and insurance policies. i got nosey and had the checking accounts, house, etc., everything change. i looked into old credit cards, you name it.
now everything is made out to me, as it should be.
so for what's it worth, the courts and lawyers cannot always help. sorry but it's true.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
Randi - each state has different laws. So I wouldn't want Annie to feel discouraged over something that happened in another state.
Posts: 707 | From Colorado | Registered: Jul 2010
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
you're absolutely right. this guy was from ohio.
i live in texas, a community property state.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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GiGi
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 259
posted
All the best to you. It is hard. But time heals. And the memory lives.
Posts: 9834 | From Washington State | Registered: Oct 2000
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