Mama and Daddy were attending a Baptist church in Concord, N.H. and one Sunday the pastor got up and said,
“I’ve got the flu and I feel sick and because I don’t feel good, neither will some of you. I would like to know how some of you can pay rent, utilities, buy food, clothing and gas on $30 or $40 a week?”
Daddy said people were murmuring and looking at each other and the pastor like “What are you talking about?”
Pastor said, “No really! How do you make it on $30 a week? How can you afford to live on that?”
Again people are questioning amongst themselves and wondering if his fever had gotten the best of him. Then he said,
“How can I ask how you make it on $30 or $40 a week? Because you’re only putting in $3 or $4 in offering! That’s the tithe on $30 or $40! So how do you do it?!?!?”
Daddy, who faithfully tithed and gave above leaned over to Mama and said, “He ain’t talking about us!”
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Everyone is thinking, "OOPS."
Posted by TxCoord (Member # 9204) on :
And some were thinking, "I knew I should have stayed home today!"
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Posted by LisaK (Member # 41384) on :
I don't get it.... am I stupid?? Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
I guess he was averaging everyone's supposed incomes based on their tithes. If they're only giving 3 or 4 dollars a week, then they are only making 30-40 dollars a week (assuming they are tithing).
Obviously they weren't tithing.
Posted by LisaK (Member # 41384) on :
oh, ok I got that. I thought I was missing something. that man at the end confused me- as to why he's say it wasn't him.
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Because they were tithing.
Posted by TxCoord (Member # 9204) on :
T'were a true story of my mom and dad.
She was the one who told him (when they got married) he was going to tithe. Imagine that!
Another true story about giving: My pastor in Loo-zee-ana, was getting ready to start the offering and told us, "Just reach into your pocket, like I'm about to, and take out the first bill you feel and put that into the plate!"
He did just that. Unfortunately he had a $10 in one pocket (for the offering) and a $100 in the other. You can guess which one he pulled out!
He still put it into the plate!
Posted by LisaK (Member # 41384) on :
that's funny... every time I tithe I think that same thing :just don't even look" I tell myself, but I dont' listen to myself. becasue we need money to live. but maybe I should start doing so and watch the blessings flow in!!??
Posted by TxCoord (Member # 9204) on :
One Sunday as the lead Deacon was preparing to take up the offering, he noticed the town miser sitting in the back pew.
The deacon passed the plate and the miser looked at it and passed it on.
The deacon took the plate from the other end of the pew and presented it, again, to the miser.
Now the miser looked hard at the deacon and passed it again to the next person.
The deacon took the plate again and as he presented it to the miser he said, "If you ain't going to put any in, take some out. It's for heathens you know."
Posted by hiker53 (Member # 6046) on :
Tx--too funny about the heathens!!
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Posted by TxCoord (Member # 9204) on :
Soooo, I’m pastoring in rural Idaho (let’s face it, most of Idaho is “rural”) in a cute, little, white church in a town of 300 people.
Before I got access to the net and learned “cut and paste” I would type out my verses. Sometimes . . .
I was quoting the verse where the Apostle Paul is talking about Deacons and their qualifications. The verse says the Deacon should not be given to much “wine”.
So there I stand in the pulpit proclaiming the Word and I read these words, “ . . . Deacon should not be given to much WIND . . .”
Our 80+ year old WWII Veteran Minn-e-soda Deacon says to his wife (in a stage whisper) “Yah chure, the Deacon should not be too windy.”
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
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