I am still tired and everytime I get up to do something just the process of getting up makes me so tired I want to go back to sleep.

I would not have made it home if it were not for you guys. Benadryl probably wouldn't have been strong enough since he is allready on enough meds to kill a horse.

He has diabetes, severe insulin dependent, and he has small strokes that we are told go with diabetes all the time, he has no feeling in most of his body due to neuropathy from all the years of not controlling his blood sugar.

He didn't even feel the heart attack he had two years ago. His legs give out on him all the time and so he must be constantly watched when he attempts to walk.

he has fallen over completely backwards several times and that is while he is holding on to his walker.

The dr has forbidden exercise, this is a cardiologist saying that, because he is simply to unsteady on his feet. He would fall of the treadmill or stat.bike. The duc tape sounded good though.

I did send him to the back of the trailer and told him to stay there. I just couldn't take his constant yelling in my ear all the way home again.

Yes, I'm sure he has lyme. My mother had all the symptoms including the neuropathy and pernicious anemia, ulcers, schizophrenia/bipolar, lyme rages, double vision and blurry vision, rheumatiod arthritis and lupus, chronic and severe depression.

She was very abusive physicslly with broken bones and stitches as the result. Now here comes the part where you probably all turn against me.

My father is how do I put this nicely, not a nice man and did things to me nice men don't do. He even went to prison at one point for doing the same to other children.

And please believe me he is never ever even for a second left alone with my children.

I spent eight years in therapy and came to a point in healing where I was able to let go of the garbage that comes with all that.

My dad probably has lyme but I'm not sure at this age and with all the other things going on with his health that I want to rock the boat.

I'm not sure I want to go to that much trouble and effort to try and get his lyme treated. I don't think I have the strength.

And more importantly I'm not sure I care. I know I'm sposed to love him and care about him but after a lifetime of being treated as less than, damaged, needy, almost like I was a piece of white trash, I can't seem to feel those things.

I'm trying and I'm taking care of him and I'm patient and kind and I don't yell at him or pick on him, I just can't love him. What kind of a person does that make me.

I have one brother and I love him with all my heart. I protected him from the beatings growing up.

He cannot and will not take my father. His wife will not allow it. There is no one else and so it's up to me. I will not send him to a nursing home. I will just expect God to give me what I need to do this.

Think there is a limit to what one person can do. IMO, you are trying to exceed that limit. Why don't you reconsider on the nursing home?

Taking your father on that trip was the act of a saint or madwoman. Still can't decide which!

Just wanted to write a quicknote to say, "Glad to hear everyone made it back safe and sound!!!!"

Yup, You're a Saint in my book!!!!

-laserred-

quote:

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Originally posted by tikbit:
I'm trying and I'm taking care of him and I'm patient and kind and I don't yell at him or pick on him, I just can't love him. What kind of a person does that make me.

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Sane?

Do take care of yourself - without you, ain't nobody getting through this, so the person you need to be healthy most of all is YOU.

Glad that you're ok and you made it safely. We were thinking about you and praying for you!

In my book you are extremely kind and giving to do all you do for your father in light of the person he is and the way he treated you and your brother.

I finally had to cut off all contact with my father to save my sanity.

I too say check into the nursing home. How is he financially? Does he still own his home? My mother-in-law was on title 19, and had no assets.

But most importantly, TAKE CARE OF Y O U!