Hope some healing light is shining on you soon..

Hugs,

Horrific beastards, indeed!

I ditto everything Michelle said (was it Michelle?)
either old age or I do have lyme.

First I am sorry you are having such a rough time! Those are some MAJOR ABX doses! 3 grms? That's much more than usual. AND IV zith and others? Maybe your body need to just deal with one or two meds at a time?

I can relate to the confusion thing very much. I cant do simple things and must get help to think through some simple tasks!

My 2 cents about xanax though, it is NOT as good as valium and MUCH more addictive and probelmatic. I almost died taking xanax and got very foggy and depressed taking it PRN. I did MUCH better on valium and could stop that any time I wanted. Havent taken one in two months now.

If you look them up in the PDR you will find that xanax has many more side effects and problems than valium does. I do NOT know why docs are precribing xanax with such frequency and refuse valium??? ANyone know the answer to this?

You can get baby valiums at 2mgs a pill which gives you more control over dosage.

I know everyone has there cross to bear with this and appreciate all your encouraging words. Maybe someday I'll be back to the annoying, organizing, spur of the moment person I was before the mind started. It hits everyone in a different way and I know you have all heard this from me over and over again. I do have hypoperfusion in the brain with the spect, maybe cysts popping, who knows. I'll try to help with advice when I can - yesterday nothing was controllable. Having my gallbladder taken out - I had 5 stones in there a few months ago, god knows upto 3 grams what an attack I'll end up with. She treats with rocephin and others, but I know that upping the rocephin will cause unexpected surgery, and I already know my surgeon, and met with her in case this was going to happen. I'd drink more, but I ended up in the hospital in January with low sodium problems, so I'm on fluid restriction, so I can't go over th 26 oz. Fun isn't it?

I'll talk to my psychiatrist about the valium. That's good to know.
I just e-mailed my friends with the info on the OPMC bill. Maybe someday we'll look at this and say remember when, with our lives that we love in tact. (and people) no physical, mental, emotional pain.
thanks again and god bless,

Cigi

Within hours of injecting I sink into a suicidal depression I've never felt before. It has been really scary. I don't just feel hopeless, but sometimes rage and somtimes just confused and disoriented, crazy like.

I've lost it a few times, sobbing for no apparent reason (alone and with others both). I've also been having horrible nightmares. Sometimes I lie down to rest and I start having weird thoughts like I see myself smashing things in my house like all the windows.

This is not the me that I know.

I had to call my llmd for help finally. We discussed several options and decided on xanax. It works very well for me.

I'm well aware of the side-effects, but without it, I don't think I could continue. Anyway, I wish it weren't the case, I don't like the idea of taking it (the xanax).

It's hard to write this post, I just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

Physically, the bicillin is helping me feel better than I have in years, stronger, more energetic, more libido and faster recovery, and the bells palsy is clearing. Even my sinuses are clearing so I can breathe better.

For these reasons I feel it's worth continuing it for now. It's a tough struggle.