posted
There's a little part of me that feels like givig up. I've never had this feeling before. If feels like too much lately with me and the children being sick. I feel like I need a miracle.
Posts: 57 | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
You cannot give up. But YOU are not going to give up. You are going to be better and so am I we are all going to be better. Do you have any plans for something special when all this is over?
Blessings, Suttles
[This message has been edited by suttles (edited 15 June 2005).]
posted
Welcome to the group here at LymeNet. So sorry you have so much to deal with, but you'll find the people here understand. So many are in the same boat.... problem is, the boat sure is crowded!!
I think anyone with Lyme has the same feeling at some time or another. May last a long time, or it may come & go, but it's very common.
Try to find the positive things in your life. It may take awhile to think of some, but they're there. Ex: If you & the children have been diagnosed, that's a major thing that's positive.
Can't imagine how many people are sick & can't find out what's really wrong with them. Others have the WRONG diagnosis. (My father was mis-diagnosed with Alzheimer's when it was LD.) The future is bleak for those, but you & your children can look forward to getting your life back.
Now you & the children can be treated. Sounds like you have a Lyme Literate Med Dr (LLMD) if all 3 of you were diagnosed.
You & your children can be support for each other. Each of you will know what the others are going through. In some families, no one has a clue what it's like to have Lyme disease.
Another, you'll find a lot of support & reliable info here to help you through. Most of us do not have medical backgrounds, but we share what we've learned from experiences with Tick-Borne Diseases (TBDs).
Where are you located? Are there any Support Groups near you?
Have you started treatment? What ages are your children?
Keep in touch & let us know how y'all are doing. We care.
Posts: 4638 | From South Carolina | Registered: Mar 2001
| IP: Logged |
Monica
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 224
posted
As if being sick isn't depressing enough, depression is also a Lyme symptom, and after adding plaquenil to my antibiotic cocktail I got real depressed. Even contemplated suicide and I am on an antidepressant!!
If you are on antibiotics (as I hope you are) you may be feeling more depressed as a result of a herx reaction.
Tell your doctor about how you're feeling.
The feeling passed for me. I'm sure it will for you too.
Posts: 1757 | From Somerset County, NJ | Registered: Oct 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
thank you all for responding back to me. i am too sick to write much right now, but you encouraged me with your words. I have never had the inkling of wanted to give up before. I started rocephin about 3 weeks ago, so maybe that's what is putting me over the edge - besides my mother.
I used to be 'paisley' - lost my passcode
i'm supposed to go to see dr. jones in july 15 and don't know how to if I can't even get out of bed.
i'm supposed to go to see dr. jones in july 15 and don't know how to if I can't even get out of bed.
1 tick and 3 victims? Did you pass it to your kids?
Take it day to day, it's slow but it does get better. don't forget the silver supplement
Posts: 731 | From Humble,TX | Registered: Feb 2005
| IP: Logged |
Nal
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6801
posted
I just wanted to pass on a hug to you and let you know that I am feeling the EXACT same way right now!!! The only reason I haven't ended everything is because of my husband and kids-have to hang in there for them!!!!!! All the best.
posted
Miracles are all around us....sometimes we are just so consumed by what we are dealing with , we fail to see them. God Bless..jellyfish Posts: 47 | From port orange, florida | Registered: May 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
I never ever felt like giving up until I had to deal with all of the symptoms related to lyme. I cannot even imagine what it feels like with kids sick as well. Hang in there. Temporary feelings don't last. Know you are supported here. Pray. Breathe. Watch funny movies. Eat well. Drink lots of water. Hug your precious babes. This too shall pass. I'm glad you reached out! Blessings, Marblenose
Posts: 287 | Registered: Nov 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
I am so sorry that you are having a hard time. I, my children, grandchildren, and son-in-law all have this dreaded disease (all 7 of us). It is so hard to remain hopeful and in the trenches fighting.
My experiences of dealing with the terminally ill have helped me gain a perspective.
I have seen suffering and situations that are almost beyond imagination.
Having said that, I would gladly accept our lot over many I have encountered. I bring these situations to mind and thank God that it is not as bad as it could be, though dreadful it is. I do not, by any means, discount our heartaches and suffering as they are many.
I also have a strong faith in God and try to see the positive in all this confusion. I admit that it is really, really, hard sometimes.
There is much growing to be done spiritually and emotionally. It is in adversity that we grow. How can we help others if we have not needed help? How can we comfort if we have not been comforted?
I try to view this as a journey and pray that I will take the right roads. I also pray that I will be able to help others as they proceed on their journey.
Keep your eyes on God. Pray for strength to endure, as there will be better times ahead. Nothing lasts forever. This too shall pass.
You and your children are in my prayers tonight.
May God bless you and yours. May you feel his comfort and draw strength from the fact that he has promised to never leave us or forsake us.
[This message has been edited by JesusisLord (edited 20 June 2005).]
Posts: 111 | From Tick Country | Registered: Jun 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Hi there - I too have had many bouts of suicidal thoughts ... right down to the planning stages of it. It was not until someone out here reminded me of my two sons who are in their early - mid twenties and how I would destroy them by my action.
It is so hard not to think about giving up. The lyme symptoms, the loss of my computer programming job, having to move back here because it is cheaper in NY than in NH ... but the pain is the worst. AND you have two children in the same boat with you. Of course you feel overwhelmed.
Try to read an interesting book, watch some great movies .... whatever it takes to make you 'escape' for a little while.
Please take good care of YOU, Deb
Posts: 830 | From Endicott, NY | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
If you read the posts, you'll see the anguish people go through with this disease. My son just got off antibiotics after 2 1/2 years and he's 10. I had to watch them put a needle in his knee to draw out fluid to be tested that turned out wasn't there. The doctor took out bloody tissue just to prove Dr. J. wrong that there was nothing in the fluid in the knee to indicate lyme and that he had arthritis. I had to watch a catheter go in his arm and stay there for 45 minutes for him to to have a MRI with contrast of his brain for his hearing loss - all this started after lyme diagnosis. The first time I wasn't as sick as I am now and the tears came streaming down my face looking in my then 8 year olds face to see him having supposed fluid drawn out of his knee. The second time he had the catheter put in his arm for the mri, because of my condition, I am depersonalized most of my waking minute and felt like I'm watching a movie. This is my son and my heart, not a stranger. My emotion and perception wasn't there. That's the hardest thing for me to deal with. Feeling like identity loss as a mother, wife, ... person. That was on of my symptoms - I have hypoperfusion in the brain. I have the usual physical pain (which isn't much compared to the mental). My son is off antibiotics now - the scans came back clear. That seems to be gone for now. I don't trust anything with this disease. God gave me reprieve for one of us to get better and I'm grateful that it's him - he needs a mother too the way your kids need you. You are stronger than you think. To put up with this stuff on a daily basis every waking minute is unbearable. Take what you have to take to get you through the day. I take xanax and an anti-depressant. I feel as if I have no choice until I can salvage what is left of me to get myself back. You have a lot to deal with with the kids. I only have one son and feel overwhelmed - try to get help just to get through this time. There's alot of us in the same boat - and feel the same way. Just take what you have to and do what you have to to make the day pass. Maybe tomorrow won't be as bad and there might be little improvement - it's not what we want, but take that as a plus that there will be more better than worse. I learned for someone who loves to plan and loves life you can't look into future with this disease and on treatment. I long for the day I can look in the mirror again, see me and be the person that I was - strong physically and mentally. It has to happen even though my faith is on empty as days go by. Take it minute by minute - that's what I'm learning because I have no choice.
God bless and take it easy on you.
Cigi
Posts: 320 | From Upstate, NY USA | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged |
Linda LD
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6663
posted
I use to roll my eyes when people asked if I had a good church. Then I found a good church and it has helped me so much!
Find a spirit field church--these people will help you and your children.
If it helps to know, me, my husband and both our kids are sick. I cried all weekend when I wasn't asleep.
Have you had your thyroid checked? TSH, t3, t4? Hashimotos antibodies? My feelings of "connectedness" improved with throid treatment, just a thought.
You are not alone. People are praying for you and your children. Please know God loves you.
My seven year old asks me every day why God gave this to us--all I know to say is that we are learning compassion and who knows--maybe one of my little ones will grow up to be a doctor or scientist.
Hopefully we will be able to help others through our suffering. Hold that thought--God has a plan...
L
Posts: 1171 | From Knoxville, TN US | Registered: Dec 2004
| IP: Logged |
lymeloco
Unregistered
posted
quote:Originally posted by 1tick3victims: There's a little part of me that feels like givig up. I've never had this feeling before. If feels like too much lately with me and the children being sick. I feel like I need a miracle.
If it will help, I went through that depression were there was just a feeling of emptiness.
I already was on an antidepressant, and called the doc to ask if they could give me something stronger.
They tried three different antidepressants,and it made me much worse!
I can't imagine having to deal with what your going through, and having kids who are sick also.
It will pass, trust me! Just keep saying that it's the lyme over and over again, and it will pass.
My heart goes out to you. I think the psychiatric crap is the worst! You will get better! Don't give in to those little buggers!
The Lyme Disease Network is a non-profit organization funded by individual donations. If you would like to support the Network and the LymeNet system of Web services, please send your donations to:
The
Lyme Disease Network of New Jersey 907 Pebble Creek Court,
Pennington,
NJ08534USA http://www.lymenet.org/
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic