posted
Just needed help with the depression; any comments will be helpful because my lyme is acting up.
Posts: 560 | From PA | Registered: Apr 2001
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posted
Just wanted you to know I am sorry for your loss. With the lyme acting up, that will not help things. I wish that I had answers for why things happen the way they do, or to help more. Check your PM... May you be blessed with strength today to cope my friend.
Posts: 719 | From Delaware | Registered: Jan 2006
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BostonLyme2005
Unregistered
posted
Hi There,
sorry to hear of the passing of your dad. I will pray for you. Maybe your PCP can help with something or a support group.
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lymeinhell
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4622
posted
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know nothing anyone says can take away your pain - just know that we care. I've soooo been there - I lost my Mom and Dad within a year.
Just remember it's ok to feel however you feel. It's your pain and you're entitled to it. And however you need to express it is up to you. It's yours.
The emotional pain will affect your lyme symptoms, as stress dampens the immune system. The depression is quite normal, and might not just be the Lyme.
Some things I found helpful - keeping BUSY. Reading, shopping aimlessly (even not buying, just looking... go car shopping!), painting the house, hang some wallpaper or border, detail your car, clean out a closet.
Things to keep your hands and mind busy help pass the time. And eventually the time puts enough distance between your loss and the here and now so you can properly deal.
If you always remember the good stuff and talk about him, he will live on in your heart and never leave you.
-------------------- Julie _ _ ___ _ _ lymeinhell
Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they shall not be disappointed. Posts: 2258 | From a better place than I was 11 yrs ago | Registered: Sep 2003
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
Dark,
My heartfelt sympathies to you on your dear loss of dear old Dad! I had 8 immediate family losses during the time I worked...not easy.
Under "sympathy poems" topic title, general support I think, I posted around 40-50 poems there after Tutu's Mom's died 2-3 mo. ago. I did a search now without any success finding them even when I typed in my member number! If you can find the post about Tutu's Mom dying, I posted the link on there for her to go to read the various poems. It's worth the search...there are many comforting ones there.
When you are missing Dad, put on a video tape of him...we are so blessed in this day of modern technology! Great hearing their voices/laughter and watching their mannerisms/gestures.
If you don't have a video tape, get out those favorite "special" photos remembering when, where, and why they were taken. Put together a HUGE collage of photos of him/you, etc.
TALK about him as much as possible to family, friends, co-workers, etc.
Continue talking to him daily in your own "special, private place"! When it's nice outside, I get my lawn chair sitting in the middle of our big yard looking at the clouds at sunset and visiting with Dad, Mom, my only sister, & sister-in-law who've passed.
After Dad's funeral, 22, 1st cousins came to the century family farm to visit until we saw the lawyer for the reading of the will. Needless to say, it was an emotional day & I was wiped out when I got home.
I went to bed immediately sleeping well. When I awoke, I had NO PAIN (remember that I fibromyalgia pain in all 18 of 18 tender, pressure point areas!!)! Oh, what a feeling that was! I didn't want to leave my bedroom ... NO PAIN; I was enjoying it so much.
Then I had my spiritual adventure! Then I felt the arms of Dad, Mom, sister, & sister-in-law embraced AROUND me in a HUGE GROUP HUG. There was so much love in my bedroom, I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE! It was an unbelievable feeling, but eventually left. Told hubby what happened.
2-3 nights later, the SAME thing happened all over again! I'll never forget this adventure, and hope others may experience something similar with their loved ones....anything is possible!
May God comfort you now and in days, months, and years ahead.
You may need an anti-depressant to help you cope too; check with your dr.; tell doc how you REALLY are feeling inside & how you are coping or not! Best wishes.
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
up for member's comments/compassion during her time of need
lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
the above comments are good.. do what you have to do. it took me 5 years feeling and crying on the commute to and from work-then finally it was gone. fathers day came and went and i didn't think of him. everyone is different-what ever you have to do is ok. but you have to go thru the feelings for it to go away, i think.
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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AZURE WISH
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 804
posted
I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your dad. I know that having to cope with lyme symptoms makes everything else harder to cope with.
lpkayak is right we all grieve in our own way and sometimes we have to go through the tunnel to arrive at our destination...
Just please remember that even though everthing might seem dark right now there is light at the end of the tunnel..... and you will make it through.
quote:Originally posted by bettyg: Under "sympathy poems" topic title, general support I think, I posted around 40-50 poems there after Tutu's Mom's died 2-3 mo. ago. .
And they were wonderful. Hope you can find them, Green.
I'm very sorry to hear about your Dad. It is difficult to bear. My Mom was my last parent.
Take care of yourself, and enroll in a bereavement group if you are able to. WE care!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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5dana8
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7935
posted
Hi Green Darkness I am so sorry to hear of your fathers passing. I hope time will heal your sadness and fond memory's will help you thru the coming days. I also lost my uncle last week. My consolation is that some day we will all be togeather again.
Take care & Blessings
-------------------- 5dana8 Posts: 4432 | From some where over the rainbow | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
I think our lyme friends understand loss and pain. Emotional pain and physical pain are equally debilitating.
You are blessed to have a father you loved so much. Your father is still with you...love transcends our physical selves.
Hang in there, try to find small pleasures to bring you comfort. Now is not the time to neglect yourself...just the opposite...nurture yourself like the kind parent your dad was.
Sleep, weep, talk to us here, eat well and stay warm...
-------------------- We are spiritual beings on a human journey...
posted
So, so sorry to hear of your father's passing.
Sending lots of love and support. Also, praying that you receive the strength you need at this difficult time in your life.
Posts: 4638 | From South Carolina | Registered: Mar 2001
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-------------------- Neil Posts: 697 | From Tucson, AZ USA | Registered: Apr 2002
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hopeful123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3244
posted
green,
i am very sorry to learn of your father's death. as has been stated above, depression is pretty normal at this point. and yes, business does help some.
maybe there is a support group somewhat near you. i really wish i had gone to one ten years ago after my mother died. i know it would have helped.
you are in our hearts
-------------------- some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield Posts: 1160 | From NY | Registered: Oct 2002
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
Green, I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you have a strong family or friend who can talk with you when you need to talk about your dad.
I hope you are familiar with all the stages of the grieving process. It is a process and for you to eventually heal you will need to go through many stages.
May God bless you with a better day today.
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6495 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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Ann-OH
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2020
posted
This is really tough, Green. Your dad will be missed by everyone who knew him. Knowing you are not alone in feeling so sad could be a help.
Thinking about happy times with him and laughing or at least smiling will be a help. He would want you to do that, I think.
If you honor his life in some way, it will help too. Donate your time or money where it is needed and dedicate that to your dad.
I am glad someone mentioned the stages of grief. There is a wonderful children's book on that - can't remember the title, but I am sure your local librarian will know.
Take the time you need to feel bad, but leave some time for your own life and feelings.
posted
DG, here are my sympathy poems I posted online recently. Please book mark or COPY them to your word processing so you can have on hand for others walking in your shoes
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