posted
how do i make these go away? if i would have done something last night that i almost did do, i would have gotten the **** kicked out of me permanently. i can't deal with this.
i have spontaneous unprovoked agitation that is not going away. i am taking my minocycline, what can i do?!
Posts: 244 | From Ottawa | Registered: Dec 2005
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Aniek
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5374
posted
Have you spoken to your doctor about this? There may be an anti-anxiety med or something that will help.
I sometimes get an extremely anxious feeling and when I have that, I do sometimes want to just hit things. I've always been able to control it, but it is terrifying.
-------------------- "When there is pain, there are no words." - Toni Morrison Posts: 4711 | From Washington, DC | Registered: Mar 2004
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NP40
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6711
posted
Daniel, this can also be attributable to bartonella or sometimes babesia and lyme. More than likely bart though. These bacteria can enter various brain centers that control emotions, anger, all kinds of sensory controls.
Some get rages, some anxiety, some forgetfullness, hallucinations of the visual and audio type.
With continued treatment these should start clearing. In the meantime, you can check with your doc for meds to help control these things or learn to keep your left hand up and duck ! Posts: 1632 | From Northern Wisconsin | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
Another possible trigger you may not always be aware of is if you have hyperacuity -- sensitivity to noise.
Certain sounds really aggravate hubby -- noises like a baby crying or a group of what he calls "cackling ladies" (highpitched laughter). Also, if it is really quiet and then there is a sudden noise like the phone ringing or a car horn it makes him want to scream or hit something.
Low levels of serotonin also can contribute to excessive anger and hostility.
Please talk to your doc about this.
Bea Seibert
Posts: 7306 | From Martinsville,VA,USA | Registered: Oct 2004
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posted
Not sure what is going on. But, I can relate to wanting to punch someone's lights out since coming down with this.
I was in a dentist office the first time it happened. I knew I was not behaving like myself.
I stepped outside the office to try and figure out what was going on before I made a scene.
There were many triggers that never bothered me before lyme: the room was full of people...movement and crowds are too much for me since coming down with this, the TV was very loud in the waiting room..noise is also a trigger, the lighting in the office, I was totally exhausted just from walking from my car to the office...a very short distance, it was very hot out, the receptionist gave me a form that I could not read, I also could not write me name, etc, I had called ahead of time to see if they took my insurance but once I got there was told that I needed to call someone because I did not have the right insurance..right name...just needed a different source or something..couldn't comprehend what she was trying to tell me
....I wanted to attack the person instead of the problem. The rage was so quick. I was glad I didn't blow and stepped outside to try and figure out what was going on.
Lots of anger when I first got infected as a major symptom before the other symptoms showed up shortly afterwards. Again, not knowing where it was coming from but recalling talking about it to co workers.
Others who came down sick at work mentioned the same thing.
I am guessing bartonella. We had wild cats at work. TWo buildings were closed down due to rashes and fevers.
I have learned now to stay away from people when I am easily triggered. Or remind myself that it is not the persons fault, but something that is triggering me....noise, or ?
I wanted to tell the housekeeper to get out of my house the other day. She was not doing anything wrong.
The noise of the water running so she could wash the dishes was too much plus other things that were going on. She also wanted to talk and I was not able to process what she was saying.
It was me. Not her. But, I wanted to attack her.
Smells can also be a trigger for me.
Bottom line...it may help to try and identify the problem and attack it instead of the person.
The exhaustion is multiplied with this. I am reminded that before I got sick that if I were tired I did not like anyone. But, once I got a good nights sleep they weren't so bad.
It seems to be magnified with this and rare that I am not so exhausted I can enjoy people.
I keep things to a minimum with people. Some are easier to be around than others.
Posts: 89 | From AZ | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
Wow, I thought I was just turning in to a B**ch. I have been do snappish, and crabby. I have just tried to avoid a lot of interaction on bad days. I know exactly how you feel.
Posts: 10 | From Quad Cities Illinois | Registered: Jul 2006
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Michelle M
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7200
posted
Daniel, I am so sorry to read you are still on just the minocycline.
You really need another regimen of meds. Plus treatment for coinfections.
I know your doc in Canada is well-meaning, but he is not doing a great job with your treatment.
Is there ANY WAY you can get to another doctor?? In the states?
I know they ACT like you should be okay now, but it's not you, it's THEM, not treating you properly.
Got any friends or relatives in the US? Your doc has only ever given you minocycline, right? That is not what an ILADS doctor would do. Especially with your neuro presentation. You also should have some anti-anxiety meds while you are getting treated, as this stuff can produce an awful lot of panicky-stomached, rage-type feelings, for seemingly little reason.
Please post us back. We haven't heard from you in a while and I've been worryin...
Michelle
Posts: 3193 | From Northern California | Registered: Apr 2005
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lymemomtooo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5396
posted
D, our family knows this all too well..Living with our daughter is like constantly walking on egg shells..BART!!!!
She was at her worst before and during IV meds so figured it was the bart fighting to stay alive.
Most psych meds have not really helped and many have harmed. She has attempted suicide way too many times..Well once was way to many..Do not get to that point without some help.
She has caused much damage to her body,my house and furniture and gone after me and her sister while threatening to kill us.
Later she did not even remember all of it.
We had the best success when we tried some valium but it may be tricky to control if the patient is in charge of it.
Good luck..I do not know what it is like from the patient's point of view but I know how it is to be on the receiving end..
Just try to be careful..
Posts: 2360 | From SE PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
I too have some of these problems. It always seems like anger is just below the surface, and I constantly ruminate on things that I cannot change. Sometimes I do have these outbursts, where I feel as though I need to rip something apart. I'll cry and yell, though I usually have the ability to control it to some extent.
I'm not trying to discount that this could be a direct, biological reaction to lyme, but is it possible it could be psychological? I mean, I'm horribly depressed, in a frustrating, hellish situation that I have no control over. It seems to me that this behavior could be caused by such frustration, not just the disease itself.
Posts: 691 | From East coast, USA | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
Sorry I have not responded back, I just want to thank everyone for responding. I initially posted in a bit of a panic and then abandoned the computer for the shower and then called a local distress line, took a magnesium vial and then either fell asleep from that or via my typical up-down up-down nonsense. It is very hard to tell as with my moods, as it feels practically as if it takes a 20 minute delay to find out how I got where and how I got to feeling what throughout the day. I am that disconnected from both what i try to doo functionally, and especially trying to interpret how and when I started feeling a certain way, and realize the bizarre jolts in my behaviour. It simplifies it when my feelings are usually just either, dead, automatic, or agitated or irate. It's a simplicity thats ruined my life. Usually, I am just in bed. Then it's the pacing and the teeth grinding. Then it's my "Hi how are you, I'm doing perfectly fine and any complaints i have I'm sure I must be exaggerating" that people get from me. And then it mixes and I fly off the handle over anything, and I have no control over predicting it more and more often now. This terrifies me, and I literally think I am becoming a monster. Strangely now, I am somehow apathetic. AGAIN.
I am not sure what to do, but I do not believe that my current doctor isn't trying. I think that he is trying. Personally, I think that if I have Lyme, I think it would take no one short of Dr. Fallon or at least an associate to recognize it. Or I feel sort of this way, this is how I am trying to put into words, I hope you understand. My symptoms are incoherent, and in person I am automatic and seeming obsessed, and I think any doctor has strong doubts of whether my symptoms are anything but simply psychological and psychosomatic. IN PERSON, IN FRONT OF PEOPLE, MY MIND PRACTICALLY BLANKS AND I PRACTICALLY FORGET WHAT MY SYMPTOMS ARE, AS IF I NEED TO FIND MY SCRIPT! as if this doesn't justify doubt internally within myself, but to a doctor, how can i not just seem psychosomatic and obsessed.
I have only seen my current doctor ONCE, and he is over 5 hours away. He ordered the MRI for me. That is an accomplishment. Unfortunately, I didn't expect anything (and there has been no call back), and I also need a SPECT. My guess is I have a dead anterior cingulate (through ineffective cholinergic neurochemistry) and perfusion abnormalities in likely the frontal lobe and the temporal lobe, strongly suspecting the left side. BLA BLA BLA. I have put together a lot of theory I think makes perfect sense, both in relation to possible lyme, but more importantly the symptoms that are my life. Curing Lyme sounds like rocket science, and takes forever, with potential severe worsening of my craziness the closer to a cure I get. I strongly worry if I could survive that, especially when I have to take into account of the safety of those around me, including my own cat who is my best friend! I want to consider benign psych meds (if they exist, only anticonvulsants come to mind) that may calm me, or treatments like rTMS and possibly more so ECT. I need my brain equalized, throwing chemicals at it only seems to pit parts of it agaisnt the other and I go crazy. The scariest aspect is I am now not seeing my crazy, irate self come out. I have been hypervigilant the last few days, with every memory of what I almost did, barking at myself before I can even think. The things I say automatically upon this don't even make sense.
I really do not know what I am doing or what I am saying now...
I am on minocycline because I forget my medication very regularly and my sleep schedule has no pattern, also the research I did on it crossing the blood brain barrier. It has a long half-life. Other medication would have to follow this, I think.
I am submitting message this as is, I am looking back at the nonsense, but this is pretty much all I can produce. Otherwise I go back to not being able to reply at all.
Posts: 244 | From Ottawa | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
It seems common for some people not to be able to read their own writing... How much sense does it make for people not to be able to understand their own typing, existing a few to several words back from what you just typed or a few to several words ahead, but never at what you are actually typing?
My doctor said he checks up on who he thinks his patients are on the internet. I think he really is trying. But I don't think my case and personality really gets to people as if it is serious and not psychosomatic, and thinking of the coherency of my what I type I think I seriously worry if he reads what I write. When I was on the phone with the doctor from the columbia programme, I could tell I was losing her. If I am capable of losing them, A DOCTOR WHO SPECIALIZES IN NEUROLYME I think I should abandon whatever my illness may be or may not be and start looking into a new brain entirely.
Posts: 244 | From Ottawa | Registered: Dec 2005
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quote:Originally posted by danielb: ......I am submitting message this as is, I am looking back at the nonsense, but this is pretty much all I can produce. Otherwise I go back to not being able to reply at all.
...It doesn't look like any kinda nonsense to me! You may well have some co-infections, and you are probably experiencing a "Herxheimer reaction" with the minocycline. I agree that you need to find a "lyme-literate doctor"; aspecialist in tickborne infections who is aware of the extent of the epidemic, and has experience treating creatively and successfully these complex diseases. You might look into adding some herbal things right away. You need to do research and decide the optimal course- I know thats really hard when you're so sick, but thar's the reality of the situation. These "Lymenet" pages were a HUGE help for me. Read and analyze all the experiences you can- I know it's hard; listen to everyone, but be sure to always remain skeptical enough. As we all know, there are some terruble problems with the health ...'care'.... (yeah, right...) system here. Here's my experience, for a start. Healing wishes! DaveS
Posts: 4567 | From ithaca, NY, usa | Registered: Nov 2000
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Truthfinder
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8512
posted
Sorry for what you are going through, Daniel.
Has your doc checked your testosterone/ hormone levels?
"Symptoms of testosterone deficiency include depression, irritability, sexual dysfunction, fatigue and problems with mental functioning."
There are quite a few on this board who have low testosterone.
Just a thought.
Tracy
-------------------- Tracy .... Prayers for the Lyme Community - every day at 6 p.m. Pacific Time and 9 p.m. Eastern Time � just take a few moments to say a prayer wherever you are�. Posts: 2966 | From Colorado | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
my testosterone is low, but i am transgendered, i really don't react well to being off my meds. thank you for your suggestion, though. i have always had these dificulties, it seems to be getting worse as i get older. i think as suggested, it could be the medication doing something... but i don't know how to know for sure, and i've been on it for a while now.
i am realizing now that i don't know if i slept at all last night, and now it's morning. Posts: 244 | From Ottawa | Registered: Dec 2005
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