stymielymie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10044
posted
You must find a therapist that specializes in chronic illnesses. most large cancer centers have some good therapist.
if the therapist does not understand your condition, then how can they convey any position.
yes you the lymie want to find a therapist that will side with you, but that is not the therapist you want.
you must have a third party, non related that can be neutral and help both sides not just yours. you only see lyme and its problems from your perspective and not how other perceive you.
you must also compromise in a relationship with lyme. you must know your limitations and convey this to the therapist.
you would be quite surprised with everything i have gone thru, my wife still loves me and i her.
you need to set rules and guidelines for your relationship.
for example, when i feel angry, i lock myself in the bedroom, watch tv and take a clonipin. it does no good for her to walk in , have a fight , me get madder then boom, full rage.
you must protect youself when your body tells you and also must protect you spouse or protect yourself from your spouse. verbal abuse is as dangerous to a relationship as physical.
your spouse must understand that there are times you don't want to go out, be with the kids, and he must take over the responsibility. if he doesn't understand this then a third party must be involved to set down these guidlines.
many, many spouses unforunately can't handle chronic illnes and will leave. there is nothing you can do for this except try to get conselling.
many,many, men leave their wives after breast cancer. men are wimps and can't deal with this.
i was very loyal to my wife even holding her hand during operations and chemo. this was with my lyme at full force.
so there are some good men in the world and also good women. you only see lyme and its problems from your perspective and not how other perceive you.
you must also compromise in a relationship with lyme. you must know your limitations and convey this to the therapist.
docdave
Posts: 1820 | From Boone and Southport, NC | Registered: Sep 2006
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stymielymie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10044
posted
up to top post from general
Posts: 1820 | From Boone and Southport, NC | Registered: Sep 2006
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stymielymie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10044
posted
up for friday night dating
Posts: 1820 | From Boone and Southport, NC | Registered: Sep 2006
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Jill E.
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9121
posted
quote:Originally posted by stymielymie: up for friday night dating
Count me in! And guys, dress up and wear your Infectious Disease neckties (see the other thread by Cave).
Jill
-------------------- If laughter is the best medicine, why hasn't stand-up comedy cured me? Posts: 1773 | From San Diego | Registered: Apr 2006
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Aniek
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5374
posted
I'm dating my computer this Friday night. I have two 25+ page papers due next week.
However, I should update my dating life. I told the guy I've recently started seeing about the Lyme, although I down played it some.
We are still seeing each other, so I don't think he was overly phased. I throw little things here and there. He asked if I ate sushi, and I explained that my doctor won't let me because I can't take the chance of getting a parasite.
I'm in this very happy phase of early dating right now. Now we just have to hope he doesn't accept that job offer on the other side of the country.
-------------------- "When there is pain, there are no words." - Toni Morrison Posts: 4711 | From Washington, DC | Registered: Mar 2004
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Jill E.
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9121
posted
Aniek,
I'm so glad you are enjoying such happiness and your current dating situation is an inspiration!
Jill
-------------------- If laughter is the best medicine, why hasn't stand-up comedy cured me? Posts: 1773 | From San Diego | Registered: Apr 2006
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Aniek
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5374
posted
Thanks Jill. I figure I deserve it since the last guy was such an idiot. (Not Lyme related, he was fine with that. But he had major commitment issues).
Between needing time to rest because of the Lyme, a crazy semester, and the fact that all my single girlfriends are no longer single, I never get out anymore. So it's really nice to have somebody to have social time with.
-------------------- "When there is pain, there are no words." - Toni Morrison Posts: 4711 | From Washington, DC | Registered: Mar 2004
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stymielymie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10044
posted
hey jill i'm available Saturday night. and i understand lyme. just bought the syphillus tie ,seemed appropriate. i'll let my wife know i'm going out with the guys. \
docdave
Posts: 1820 | From Boone and Southport, NC | Registered: Sep 2006
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Now we just have to hope he doesn't accept that job offer on the other side of the country.![[woohoo]](graemlins/woohoo.gif)
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