GiGi
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 259
posted
So I was told: try to practice forgiveness.
So I was told: the only one you are hurting by not forgiving is yourself.
I think that's right.
Take care.
Posts: 9834 | From Washington State | Registered: Oct 2000
| IP: Logged |
hiker53
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 6046
posted
Good Godly Advice, GiGi.
-------------------- Hiker53
"God is light. In Him there is no darkness." 1John 1:5 Posts: 8878 | From Illinois | Registered: Aug 2004
| IP: Logged |
lymemomtooo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5396
posted
Good philosophy Gigi. Sometimes much harder to do. Glad you have done some forgiving and are back..missed you. lymemomtooo
Posts: 2360 | From SE PA | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Me too. Glad you are back but understand why you left.
Forgiveness is a hard one for me but get better with practice.
Posts: 460 | From Illinois | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged |
savebabe
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9847
posted
I wish I could mentally get there, but I don't think I could ever forgive those doctors who told me to "get a boyfriend", or "you are doing all this for attention" when I was laying in the hospital with full blown lyme, bart and babs. I can actually still picture one doctor laughing at me, so I wish I could forgive, but I just can't.
Posts: 1603 | From ny | Registered: Aug 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Thanks for reminding us GiGi. I could not agree more.
As for forgiving with traumatic memories... it is very difficult. Usually you have to get someone to help you process it. I think the book: "Instinct to Heal" has a good description of the eye patterning technique for getting painful memories "unstuck."
I choose to let go by an act of my will. The feelings don't always come along as quickly.
May grace fill us with the strength to do what we know in our hearts is true.
-------------------- When I lost my grip on Faith in the maze of illness, Hope gently clasped my hand and led on.
RuthRuth Posts: 478 | From California | Registered: Jan 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
In honour of good friday. The first saying is truly in the Lyme spirit. In time I've finally learned this lesson and applied it to those jerkoff ducks. well...kinda learned it
The seven sayings form part of a Christian meditation that is often used during Lent, Holy Week and Good Friday. The traditional order of the sayings is:
1. Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34). 2. Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise (Luke 23:43). 3. Woman, behold your son: behold your mother (John 19:26 f.). 4. Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani? ("My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?", Matthew 27:46 and Mark 15:34). 5. I thirst (John 19:28). 6. It is finished (John 19:30). 7. Father, into your hands I commit my spirit (Luke 23:46).
We have to learn to embrace peace and move on, since we are all in this together. If you tug on one plant, you find that the roots are connected to the whole world.
Posts: 393 | From Washington, DC | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
groovy2
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6304
posted
Hi All
Here is a good video that is about one mans experance --
Its worth watching if you need some help in this area --Jay --
[ 28. October 2007, 04:19 PM: Message edited by: groovy2 ]
Posts: 2999 | From Austin tx USA | Registered: Oct 2004
| IP: Logged |
lymeHerx001
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6215
posted
A Course in Miracles
Posts: 2905 | From New England | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
Health
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6034
posted
I dont believe in the hogwash that you have to forgive everyone. Pure brainwash stuff. Some people are pure evil.
I believe that you get the *******/s out of your life that did it to you, and is still doing it to you. If they never apologized and did not give a &(&)(* what they did to you or said to you,
what the heck do you need to forgive the toad for????? They are not worth it. Simply put. I was a health queen, and woman of life, and I got it taken away from me because of this lyme, and I have someones say some horrid things to me,
toss them out. Move on. no more pain in the heart, move on.
I believe that if you dont get them out of your life, you will either go insane, or get sicker.
toss them out of your life. Take charge and throw them out.
Trish
Posts: 1250 | From Canada | Registered: Aug 2004
| IP: Logged |
randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
I don't know guys. I try very hard to move on after being hurt so deeply at work. I really do.
But the hatred and evil these women perpetrated on me goes beyond anything you can imagine. Out right lies, deceit, and cheating. And then when I told management, "well nothing we can do".
I try not to think about it. I lost my livelyhood because of them -- my job -- my one source of income.....
I know what goes around comes around, but I still have deep feelings about this.
I don't know if I will ever get over being hurt so badly........
Time heals all wounds I guess but how much time......who knows....am I a bigger person,who knows? more relaxed, yes, but now am suspicious of most people and am becoming a recluse, just don't want to be hurt again.
I feel most people are good, but there are those that truly enjoy inflicting pain on others...
I hope to get over this, I really do.....
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
| IP: Logged |
lymeHerx001
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6215
posted
Forgiveness is not letting other people get away with something. It is letting yourself get away from the emotional toxins that revolve around not forgiving them.
Everything else is ego resistance.
Posts: 2905 | From New England | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
Cobweb
Unregistered
posted
I like this quote: "Resentments are like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."
IP: Logged |
luvs2ride
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8090
posted
Excellent quote Cobweb.
Anger only hurts the one who is angry. The one/s you are angry at are simply going on with their lives.
Let it go. If not, you will be a prisoner to your anger.
-------------------- When the Power of Love overcomes the Love of Power, there will be Peace. Posts: 3038 | From america | Registered: Oct 2005
| IP: Logged |
lymeHerx001
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6215
posted
Very good resposes. I LIKE this thread.
Posts: 2905 | From New England | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
lymeHerx001
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6215
posted
Let me say this too.
We all have this "disease" with this bacteria that we are trying to "fight."
Well, having a conventional mindset as everyone else, we want to kill it, knock it out, poison it. Then when we dont get better, who do we blame? The list can go on and on.
Ultimately we have to blame OURSELVES. I for one have blamed myself much to much. I have also gotten very angry at the Lyme and the doctors.
Anger raises cortisol and lowers blood flow to the front of the brain, not good for logical thinking. The added stress of staying angry also weakens my immune system for fighting the disease.
It is very paradoxical. By not getting stressed and forgiving we are actually getting stronger.
Posts: 2905 | From New England | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
Health
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6034
posted
You do not need to forgive to get well, some things are far too great to be forgiven. Some cannot forgive, but does this mean they wont get well, NO, they are the ones that let go of this. and they move on.
You need to LET GO. LET go of the pain they caused you and move on. Let go of the anger and whatever else and move on.
Whatever it takes to move on, wether you take them out of your life, move out of the house if they are living with you, whatever,
just do it and move on.
I have always felt this, and when I read a book and a famous author said this in her book,
I finally felt that someone else understood.
She mentions when someone rapes someone, and they cannot forgive, they cannot. Of course, telling this person they HAVE to forgive is just too sick.
Let it go, and move on.
I was harped at about forgiving, that I near lost my sanity, one of the reasons I had a breakdown was people telling me this BS about having to forigve or I would not get well,
pleaseeeeeeeeeee. this is a sensitive matter to me, so I write here. chant chant chant, that is what they did to me, dorve me insane almost.
so much out there, one must find what is right for them to do.
Am I angry now, yes, i am angry because I am getting worse, and the antibiotics are not working, and I am in pain, so maybe this post sounds angry, it does. My mind is spitting
from the pain, so I write angry, deep down, I know what I had to do, and did it, and moved on.
For myself, I speak mainly about being hurt when I have been ill. I cannot handle anyone, hurting someone that is ill, to say things to them, if they are ill is evil. This is what I speak of,
this is why I cannot forgive, the people that did this to me, have no room in my life, when I am to ill to work, and have others laugh at me, make fun that I am living with parents, when the
knew me, when i was well, when the pain I feel is too great to continue to live, and I have someone say this, to me, O have no room in my heart to forgive, I let go, forever of this person.
Some things are FAR to great to be forgiven, when this happens, you let it go.
Trish
Posts: 1250 | From Canada | Registered: Aug 2004
| IP: Logged |
TerryK
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 8552
posted
Cobwebs comment reminded of this little story that a friend sent me years ago.
The Wolves Within
A grandson told of his anger at a schoolmate who had done him an injustice. Grandfather said: "Let me tell you a story."
"I, too, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But, hate wears you down and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times.
It is as if there are two wolves inside me: one is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way. But the other wolf is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights with everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of then try to dominate my spirit."
The boy looked intently into his grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"
The grandfather solemnly replied, "The one I feed."
Posts: 6286 | From Oregon | Registered: Jan 2006
| IP: Logged |
lymeHerx001
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6215
posted
Letting go is forgiving. We are all to well trained in the traditional Christian view of forgiveness, this is not what I'm advocating.
Letting go would describe is a little better. There's a lot more too it. The book I mentioned goes into it very much, however Im not recommending the book either.
I am simply reminding those who wish to listen of what they probably already know.
Posts: 2905 | From New England | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
sizzled
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1357
posted
Whenever someone is cruel to me, I picture them in their underwear!
"God, grant me the strength to change the things I can, accept the things I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference."
Cruelty inflicted on others is an indication of pain and affliction in their own lives.
"Revenge is mine." saith the Lord.
It is hard. But I TRY to not judge others as I don't want to be judged. Their time and my time will come.
Posts: 4258 | From over there | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged |
Andie333
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7370
posted
Someone I respect a lot (in her late 90s) once told me that forgiveness is a decision.
That's what I try to remember...
(of course with my Lymey memory, it's a safe bet I won't even remember awful things that were done to me! )
Andie
Posts: 2549 | From never never land | Registered: May 2005
| IP: Logged |
clairenotes
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10392
posted
Non-judgment, acceptance, and compassion are the things that helped me survive many twisted traumatic life events. I try to use it in both directions, for myself, and for the people that have harmed me. I find that not judging myself and showing myself compassion is the more challenging side of the equation.
With lyme, it is very easy to get caught up in negative emotions about ourselves. We have to work hard to remind ourselves that we are not responsible for our illness and that we are worthy of the greatest levels of health.
Expecting good things to happen for ourselves and others, helps too.
Claire
Posts: 1111 | From Colorado | Registered: Oct 2006
| IP: Logged |
Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
Good morning all.
I too struggle with forgiveness. Mostly it is the intentional evil acts that affect the people I love.
I have such a hard time with that..but I work at it daily.
I know that what comes around, goes around. I don't have to get you, because somebody else will.
When I have put negativity out.....it always comes back to me.
Praying for those who offend also helps.....sometimes that is hard too.
My Mom sent me an e-mail yesterday that I really enjoyed.
It said "Dogs always have more friends, because they wag their tails and not their tongues!!"
Here's to more tail wagging on this board!
It is okay to have a different opinion. The key here is learning to RESPECT someone elses.
I've always said that you don't have to like what I say, don't have to believe it or live it....
just respect it. Who knows...you may learn something by opening your mind to other possibilities..
It may even change your opinion too.
Glad to see you are back....really enjoy your posts...they are often thought provoking for me.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
| IP: Logged |
northstar
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7911
posted
I believe that anger is an active expression of deep hurt inside.
The hurt, from betrayel, is what needs to be healed.
At times, I can actually feel a glimmer of compassion for the sender of the hurt, because they are ignorant of themselves and their own beliefs and thoughts.
The ignorance is a framework that manifests in all their thoughts and actions. And any change for them has to come from within themselves, not from me.
Thus, any interactions will have to be minimized or avoided, because they are just like rogue elephants.
My priority is myself, now.
And of course, there are those times, where I think they are just idiots, mean, stupid, vicious, etc.
Northstar
Posts: 1331 | From hither and yonder | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged |
Health
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6034
posted
I read this again, and I sound so ugly. Soooo ugly. I was never this ugly, I had beauty inside, never knew what it felt like to hate.
For myself it is difficult because I live with it, and it is there, all the time, off and on. When I am well enough, I will be able to move out and
find the beauty within again. I always lived on my own, I try here, but it is difficult, so I cope the best
way I can.
I hope one day to be at peace within, and to let go of all hate, but it is difficult when you live with it and it occurs off and on.
Trish
Posts: 1250 | From Canada | Registered: Aug 2004
| IP: Logged |
northstar
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7911
posted
Health, Sometimes rage and hate are not emotionally nor situationally based.
There is a primal energy of anger/fury in the limbic system of the brain. It is a survival mechanism, and motivator to action outward. It is in all creatures with brains, even reptilian.
If this brain center is stimulated, in studies, via electrodes, it elicits a rage response. It is a physiological reaction, not a personal emotion per se.
Therefore, compassion to the self, in a brain infection, is helpful. No, it is not you. Would you judge yourself so severely if it were an epileptic seizure in the frontal lobes? Consider it a brain fart.
Northstar
Posts: 1331 | From hither and yonder | Registered: Sep 2005
| IP: Logged |
map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
This illness is so much more than just physical sx. Maybe all chronic illnesses are. I don't know about them. I just know lyme & etc.
My experience has involved healing from mental, emotional and spiritual cleansing also. It's like our colon that has a build up of toxins from years of bad diets, meds etc.
You can have toxic build up from your life experiences that could also interfer with healing your whole being. Instead of a colonic (cleaning of the colon with water) maybe you can do a lifeonic. lol
Easier said than done, especially when the toxin is someone you love or family.
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6478 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
| IP: Logged |
"Illnesses, hover constantly above us, their seed blown by the winds, but they do not set in the terrain unless the terrain is ready to receive them."---Claude Bernard. Posts: 131 | From US | Registered: Dec 2006
| IP: Logged |
GiGi
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 259
posted
Health,
"I hope one day to be at peace within, and to let go of all hate, but it is difficult when you live with it and it occurs off and on."
You are halfway there if you say -- "I choose to be at peace within and to let go of all hate" - and leave off the negative reinforcement of telling yourself that it is difficult for one reason or another. Learn Tapping or EFT.
Energy flow influences the workings of our biochemistry, to the good and bad, --- you can get all the best doctors, the best therapies, unless we address the negative emotional part of our life, health will remain a distant dream.
That's why I so oppose the negative nellies who post on this board. They hurt themselves even more than the rest of us.
That's how I learned to solve my problem "forgiving" the people who put members of my family into concentration camps in an earlier era. Forgiving is a very flexible word. Look it up googling the dictionaries.
Best wishes to you.
Take care.
Posts: 9834 | From Washington State | Registered: Oct 2000
| IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by luvs2ride: Excellent quote Cobweb.
Anger only hurts the one who is angry. The one/s you are angry at are simply going on with their lives.
Let it go. If not, you will be a prisoner to your anger.
Ditto to that and to what many others said. I've been 'happy' for a long time even though I lost my career, my health, and my home to this disease.
There's no point in staying angry over anything.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
| IP: Logged |
lymemomtooo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5396
posted
This has been a great posting. I have enjoyed all of it.
I have had many issues in my life and for some I have been blessed to forgive, or let senility forget. For others it has been harder as Trish implies.
Sometimes, I think it takes time to really work thru some bad things. And there will always be some people out there that hurt others.
I do know that time heals most wounds, mid life senility heals the rest.
And Trish, you are not so ugly. You are honest. Gigi was not saying that anyone was a horrible person about not being able to forgive. Just that it will speed up healing. I agree. It lessens the burdens.
Posts: 2360 | From SE PA | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote:That's why I so oppose the negative nellies who post on this board. They hurt themselves even more than the rest of us.
That's how I learned to solve my problem "forgiving" the people who put members of my family into concentration camps in an earlier era. Forgiving is a very flexible word. Look it up googling the dictionaries.
You are healthy and well. You also have had a lot to forgive so you are proof that it works and it is possible to do.
Health
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6034
posted
Gigi,
this is what you said,
"You are halfway there if you say -- "I choose to be at peace within and to let go of all hate" - and leave off the negative reinforcement of telling yourself that it is difficult for one reason or another. Learn Tapping or EFT."
Gigi, it IS difficult if not impossible, you dont know my situation, so when I say this, I mean it, it is the same thing like when...
a woman lives with an abbusive man, she either gets out when she cant take it anymore, EFT/Tapping aint gonna help here, or spends the rest of her life behind bars.
There are some situations, you merely stay afloat, and then when you are able, you move out.
One must be careful to do what is right for them. Tapping and EFT are good, for other situations, not mine. But I thank you for your suggestions.
Trish
Posts: 1250 | From Canada | Registered: Aug 2004
| IP: Logged |
"Illnesses, hover constantly above us, their seed blown by the winds, but they do not set in the terrain unless the terrain is ready to receive them."---Claude Bernard. Posts: 131 | From US | Registered: Dec 2006
| IP: Logged |
GiGi
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 259
posted
Tapping and EFT are mostly used for reaffirming or solidifying positive statements, such as "I deserve to be well"; "I choose not to carry ill feelings against this person"; "even though others believe I will stay sick, I will get well."
Tapping etc. opens up the energy flow when the autonomics (autonomic nervous system) are blocked because of pain, fear, nervousness,upset, etc. It works as effectively or more so than a full body accupuncture. And takes not much more than a minute and ten fingers.
Dr. K.'s favorite statement is "the patient who taps gets well".
By opening up the energy flow, the body goes into a healing mode rather than staying with a blocked autonomic nervous system where everthing remains stagnant, toxins just hang out, etc. All energy related.
If you don't believe it, sorry. You might want to read Roger Callahan's writings.
Take care.
Posts: 9834 | From Washington State | Registered: Oct 2000
| IP: Logged |
I have started by blessing people at night, while I lay in bed, before I go to sleep. It takes practice. I just start blessing people, everyone I know, even those I have issue with. Send them good will, good thoughts, prayers.
My whole body softens, relaxes, and it does help me to get to sleep.
I think this is the start, the path to my forgiving. The transformation begins.
It has already started to transform my relationship with 2 people.
My massage therapist has been coaching me along the way. She has a method called talking to the higher self. Your higher self talks to the higher self of the other person.
I haven't yet started practicing this in earnest (and she keeps reminding me!), but the concept is helping me see how relationships can transform.
It is great to have a coach (and, so thanks to GiGi here for banging the drum!).
It takes a while for it all to settle in. I've been seeing my massage therapist since September. She is soooooo much more than a massage therapist, so I am indeed very fortunate.
Much love to all !
Kelly
Posts: 90 | From New Jersey | Registered: Nov 2005
| IP: Logged |
djf2005
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11449
posted
guys-
i am sorry you all struggle w anger and hurt. trust me, i know. my own family made fun of me and wouldnt listen to me as i kept getting worse and worse. i moved out, and am trying to move on. i think the most important thing to keep in mind though is that we are all going to get better. it is just a matter of time & treatment. even if you dont believe that, you need to tell it to yourself. i for one, will not give in to this. no, i cant work, no i cant do ALOT of things i used to, but i will again.
-------------------- "Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you."
"Illnesses, hover constantly above us, their seed blown by the winds, but they do not set in the terrain unless the terrain is ready to receive them."---Claude Bernard. Posts: 131 | From US | Registered: Dec 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Went searching for this post. Felt compelled to bring it back up.
It has taken so much time. It is like unpeeling an onion. The layers are so deep. There are so many things I have not even been aware of, conscious of. And so I am awakening.
It all comes down to love and forgiveness. And that includes forgiving yourself.
And little by little I am healing, getting stronger. It's not easy, but it's essential, necessary.
Two little words: love and forgiveness
Blessings to all
Posts: 90 | From New Jersey | Registered: Nov 2005
| IP: Logged |
lymeHerx001
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6215
posted
You brought it up because I fell off the wagon. I have not been forgiving lately and have been blaming.
Blaming myself for not taking anti-fungals years ago consistently.
Blaming myself for how rude I have been to my parents because I resisted their strict ego ways.
Blaming myself for a body that breaks down in his teens when everyone else is out playing tennis and running around.
Blaming the doctor for not giving me anti-fungals from the beginning.
Blaming my parents for not having enough money to take care of me or enough education and motivation to become really interested in what Im fighting.
Im Angry with America. I'm Angry with the drug companies. Im angry with peoples attitudes who are not as forgiving. I am mad at myself for not being the person I know I could be if I were not sick and instead settle for so little.
I have almost no pleasure left in my life. Everyday I'm in pain and I don't understand why. When I wake up my feel kill me and I wish all of this is over. I feel toxic and overloaded and in pain.
Posts: 2905 | From New England | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
lymeHerx001
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6215
posted
I forgot to blame the dentist the put 5 amalgams in my mouth back in 2002. I was even sicked then!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think that when the yeast really started to grow and mutate
Posts: 2905 | From New England | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
lymeHerx001
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6215
posted
I guess I need to start reading
A Course in Miracles again.
Posts: 2905 | From New England | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Oh my God, I had so many swirling messed up feelings due to this illness and the treatment I received from many, many people.
I did have to cut a lot of people out at one point because they had a toxic impact on me, what with my hormones, my body, and my brain misfiring.
I HAD to insulate myself from difficult people and situations to get better, or the stress would have killed me.
But, once I really started to heal, I also knew that hanging on to the negative feelings, the resentment, rage, anger, bitterness, feelings of abandonment and isolation,
were only holding me back and holding me down, even though some of these feelings were chemically and circumstantially induced,
and had nothing to do with my true personality, or with how I would normally react to things.
I learned to change my focus to better activities and better things as my mind and body healed.
As my life improved and got better, it became easier to let go of the trauma I experienced from all of the circumstances, inner and outer, of Lyme disease.
I also started doing activities that were meditative, like knitting, drawing, and crocheting, to still my mind when my brain could not handle more mental types of meditation.
Serving others who were still suffering from different problems also changed my focus
and reaffirmed my faith in my own humanity, and changed my focus from dwelling on my own negative hurts and traumas.
Then as my brain healed some more, I started practicing Buddhist metta meditation.
I would use the phrase, "May you be happy, may you dwell in your heart, may you be free from suffering, may you be at peace."
I would direct the phrase to myself, and then to people close to me, and then to people I didn't know so well, and then generally outward to the whole world. This also changed my focus for the better.
Then many family members who had been weird with me when I was sick got affected by Hurricane Katrina.
Suddenly, I ended up being the shoulder to cry on, and I surprised myself by being able to let go and be there for people who hadn't been there for me.
But it was actually very healing, and these family members were also so humbled by the trauma they were experiencing, that they could understand better what I had suffered.
Letting go and forgiving and releasing difficult feelings from my heart and mind has been a long and slow process, but it has been pivotal in reaching greater and greater wellness.
It is not an instantaneous thing. It is a process.
There are still people I won't associate with who mistreated me in unfathomable ways, but I have released the pain and bitterness.
I don't have the emotional energy that keeps me in bondage to them any more.
I am detached and I have released the difficult feelings, while also know that keeping a strong boundary there is the healthy thing to do.
Anyway, this has been an important topic. Thank you, Gigi, for bringing it up.
Farah
Posts: 208 | From New Mexico | Registered: Dec 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
I come here to READ and LEARN about Lyme from those who know much more than I. If I may, I DO know something about forgiveness. I talk to SOMEONE about the healing power of FORGIVENESS several times a week as I go about my other professional duties.
Emotional Healing is SIMPLE... FORGIVE.
Note: I did NOT say it was EASY. True forgiveness generally requires assistance... SPIRITUAL assistance.
25 years ago I had to deal with 2 workmates needlessly losing their legs under atrocious industrial safety circumstances I had personally worked hard to prevent. I could not even take satisfaction in being right!
Then, four family members in four different incidences were murdered, including my brother/surrogate father. Nobody was prosecuted in any of the crimes.
Then, I had to quit Engineering school because of divorce.. and soon both my children were sexually abused (7 & 9)... and my ex ALLOWED it!
All of this occurred in less than 3 years.. and these are just a few of the highlites... the Devil is in the details.
I will not bore you with stories about collecting weapons, mental "lists", and obsessive anger. Doesn't take much insight to imagine my state of mind.
My children were my motivation, but my help was God. I witnessed true miracles and emotional healing through FORGIVENESS; Through GIVING UP MY WILL, not strengthening it.
It is SIMPLE. If you don't Forgive people, They will OWN you the rest of your life. Again note: I DID NOT SAY IT WAS EASY.
Posts: 70 | From AZ | Registered: Sep 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
For me it's a choice and an ongoing process.
I release the person, and I move on with my life--Keep the focus on me and my responsibilities/blessings/goals.
Posts: 233 | From United States | Registered: Oct 2006
| IP: Logged |
Cobweb
Unregistered
posted
up for heiwalove
I don't know the specifics of what you are referring to in your thread about crying all the time when you say "there's stuff in my life that has been difficult lately, too." but I thought maybe this thread by GiGi would help.
IP: Logged |
quote:Originally posted by barksplinter: It is SIMPLE. If you don't Forgive people, They will OWN you the rest of your life. Again note: I DID NOT SAY IT WAS EASY.
You got it, man! I hope your life is going better now!
God Bless!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
are you working with eft? i am meeting with an eft practitioner on tuesday night to try it out. i looked at some youtube videos on it, but think i need some guidance- at least to get started.
if you are using it, can you let me know your experience with it?
thanks!
Posts: 871 | From NJ | Registered: Mar 2007
| IP: Logged |
luvs2ride
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8090
posted
Hi Mo,
I downloaded the free manual and started using it at the very basic level.
It worked fantastically for my insomnia and for my sinus congestion due to allergies. It wasn't a one-time fix, I had to do it every day.
After a bit, I lost interest just due to a busy life. I have the same problem sticking with the oil pulling, even though I do get good results from it too.
It didn't seem to help my R.A. but that is a pretty hefty issue for a basic level beginner such as myself.
Reading the free book, it is easy to see this technique is used mostly for emotional issues although it does claim to help many physical issues as well.
I didn't have any emotional issues I needed to deal with. (least not in my opinion. )
Luvs
-------------------- When the Power of Love overcomes the Love of Power, there will be Peace. Posts: 3038 | From america | Registered: Oct 2005
| IP: Logged |
tailz
Unregistered
posted
I'm not forgiving until I've seen some evidence of an 'I'm sorry', and I haven't yet.
"I strongly suggest you take something it is offered." (because you are CRAZZZY! is what I heard)
"Drug addict" included as part of my medical record.
No, I'm not forgiving, and I can't even say I wish I could. What I do wish is that people would feel sorry, but like I said, they don't.
IP: Logged |
posted
Obviously forgiveness is very personal to all of us...
For me I have learned forgiveness has not as much to do with the people themselves who wronged or harmed you necessarily ( if they were wrong, they were wrong!)
Rather I've found forgiveness is accepting that what happened to you is what happened and can't be changed (can't change the past, you know?) And living with that acceptance and moving forward when you can..
-------------------- "We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us" - e.m. forster Posts: 921 | From PA | Registered: Jan 2004
| IP: Logged |
The Lyme Disease Network is a non-profit organization funded by individual donations. If you would like to support the Network and the LymeNet system of Web services, please send your donations to:
The
Lyme Disease Network of New Jersey 907 Pebble Creek Court,
Pennington,
NJ08534USA http://www.lymenet.org/