posted
I found a LLMD and am so mixed right now I cannot stand it!
I didnt sleep well at all last night. I am so afraid that once again I will be hit with the
same ol same ol on one hand and afraid that he will verify LYME at the same time. I consider
myself a strong woman, especially after all I have endured these past years. But this is a
terrible feeling I am experiencing.
8 years is a long time as many of you know being told it is all in your head and psychosomatic.
I have seen 3 Neuros, 2 Internests, 4 ENT's, 3 maxofacial surgeons, 1 Gastrointestinal, 2 Psychiatrists/Counselors, 1 cardiologist, 2 Chiropractors, 1 Physical Therapist, 1 GFP, 1 walk in clinic, been to the ER over 10 times, 2 eye drs, ;
had x-rays, MRI's, Bone Scan, EKG's, every blood work study (except LYME!!!!), vertigo testing, GI series, exploratory surgery on my jaw, Brain scans, CT's, muscle spasm testing (dont remember what it is called!);
steroid injections, anti depressants, NSAID's, muscle relaxers, antidepressants, anxiety medications, beta blockers, pain medication, antidepressants, did I mention antidepressants???
I am truly anxious and excited then anxious then excited again....does that make any sense at all?
What if he actually says it isnt Lyme? What if I have hit another dead end road?
It all "fits"...from the bulls eye rash to the symptoms down the line. But what if he says it
isnt? I dont know if I can handle that anymore.
Sorry to all over the screen but I really needed to get this out on virtual paper!
-------------------- Seeking renewed health & vitality. --------------------------------- Do not take anything I say as medical advice - I am NOT a dr! Posts: 830 | From TN | Registered: Aug 2007
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Aniek
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5374
posted
Good luck today! I hope you find everything you need in this appointment. It sounds like you are on the right track.
-------------------- "When there is pain, there are no words." - Toni Morrison Posts: 4711 | From Washington, DC | Registered: Mar 2004
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AliG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9734
posted
quote:Originally posted by cjnelson:
It all "fits"...from the bulls eye rash to the symptoms down the line.
You said you're going to an LLMD. I do believe that you have nothing to fear.
I will say that what you're feeling right now is a perfectly normal response to "8 years is a long time as many of you know being told it is all in your head and psychosomatic".
That's a phenomenon that LLMDs often see the psychological damage of. I packed up all my half bottles of supplements, my books on Alternative Medicine, Nutritional Healing, Vitamins & Herbal Remedies. They filled a good sized suitcase.
I actually brought all that with me because he was my last hope and if he were to tell me I "don't look sick enough" (like the IDiot just did), this time I would be prepared with an explanation.
I guess it was fortunate that he insisted I go at 8am. After leaving at 6:45am (I don't do mornings!)& getting horribly lost on the way there, I believe I "looked" pretty sick.
The IDiot's ignorance, in making that remark, REALLY ticked me off after I had deliberatly made my appt for 2 pm, knowing that I needed to leave myself about 5 hrs to allow for breaks in trying to make myself presentable.
LLMDs see desperate, misDxd & misTxd (more ways than with medicine) quite often. It's actually very common and patients like this are the ones who usually seek them out.
You will feel SO much better after you actually go!!
Ali
PS- I actually told my DH in the am (when he asked about the suitcase) that if this Dr told me I was fine, I was going straight to check myself into a psychiatric hospital because I couldn't take this anymore.
I can laugh now, but that thought wasn't really that far back in my mind. I'm sure you know exactly how I was feeling.
-------------------- Note: I'm NOT a medical professional. The information I share is from my own personal research and experience. Please do not construe anything I share as medical advice, which should only be obtained from a licensed medical practitioner. Posts: 4881 | From Middlesex County, NJ | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
I do hope you got this name from a lyme patient!!!!!!
Let us know how it went!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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AliG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9734
posted
CJ said she was seeing LLMD in am.
Hey CJ how'd it go?
Well, I hope!
-------------------- Note: I'm NOT a medical professional. The information I share is from my own personal research and experience. Please do not construe anything I share as medical advice, which should only be obtained from a licensed medical practitioner. Posts: 4881 | From Middlesex County, NJ | Registered: Jul 2006
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CaliforniaLyme
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 7136
posted
?????
If the person turned out not to be a LLMD don't panic!!!
Hope it went ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-------------------- There is no wealth but life. -John Ruskin
All truth goes through 3 stages: first it is ridiculed: then it is violently opposed: finally it is accepted as self evident. - Schopenhauer Posts: 5639 | From Aptos CA USA | Registered: Apr 2005
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joalo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12752
posted
Is this doctor a LLMD? You didn't say in your post. I hope it went well. Please update us!!
-------------------- Sick since January 1985. Misdiagnosed for 20 years. Tested CDC positive October 2005. Treating since April 2006. Posts: 3228 | From Somewhere west of the Mississippi | Registered: Aug 2007
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ByronSBell 2007
Unregistered
posted
A doctor outside of nashville, wish I would have known this, good 5 hour drive where I am going
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posted
its tomorrow am....LOL! Thanks for the support! Yes I have been told he is a LLMD
and yes he spoke at the Middle TN Lyme Group recently. I sure hope I am picking wise!
Very scary!
And I agree with previous post, I have already spoken teh words...if he says its all in my head
i am going straight to check myself in too! Will let you all know tomorrow eve!
-------------------- Seeking renewed health & vitality. --------------------------------- Do not take anything I say as medical advice - I am NOT a dr! Posts: 830 | From TN | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
cj - Good luck & please let us know - Nashville area needs a good LLMD. I'm 50 miles SW of Nashville. As far as I know, he must be new in area. Let me know if u ever need a place to rest during your trip from knoxville. I know for myself, traveling is totally exhausting, not to mention expensive. Hoping u find a good one for all of us Tennesseans! ~Cindy~
Posts: 176 | From Tenn | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious; it is perfectly understandable considering how high the stakes are for this one appointment.
I had been sick for less than a year when I saw my LLMD, but I too was terrified. I had learned to manage my expectations when seeing doctors after having been disappointed so many times.
Whenever I go see a doctor, I have to take 5 minutes beforehand to "put my thick skin on." It is my special ritual in self-protection.
I do think things will turn out well, though. Make sure to let us know how it went!
Posts: 390 | From Oakland, CA | Registered: May 2007
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-------------------- Seeking renewed health & vitality. --------------------------------- Do not take anything I say as medical advice - I am NOT a dr! Posts: 830 | From TN | Registered: Aug 2007
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Aniek
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5374
posted
Lots of LLMDs want to start with boosting the immune system first. Lyme treatment is really hard on the system. As long as you aren't a very recent infection, then it is sometimes worth delaying treatment for a few weeks.
Many LLMDs do not start people off on IV. If you don't need the IV, why get it? Certain oral abx also help determine if you have coinfections, because they will cause coinfection herxes.
-------------------- "When there is pain, there are no words." - Toni Morrison Posts: 4711 | From Washington, DC | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
It looks good that he really wants to get the probiotics going before you really start the antibiotics. You don't want a candida problem (if you don't already have one) on top of everything else.
The no wheat diet is also good.
Sounds to me like he's going to treat you. He just wants you started on some other things at the same time which might be very important.
Diet, probiotics, etc. are all important. Also, some people do fine on orals. Some need to start on orals first or they'll have serious herxes because of high titers.
Posts: 984 | From San Diego | Registered: Nov 2006
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
cj, thx for update on your visit!
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AliG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9734
posted
So far, from what you've stated, it sounds like you have a good LLMD.
It sounds like he's proceeding as he should and if you really do have Lyme, which it would seem you do, he's not likely to try to tell you otherwise.
We tend to get very defensive after being abused by ducks. Sometimes it takes a little bit before we actually trust the LLMDs too.
I hope you start seeing some improvement soon.
Ali
PS- Have you had any other doctors refer to Lyme as a "high-probability"? I got that from mine on first visit too. My labs are now starting to show seroconversion after a year of Tx.
That means that as both LLMD and I suspected, we now have some proof that the "high probability" is indeed true.
Just keep the faith, you'll get there too.
PPS- I presented with heavy CNS symptoms & thus far, only oral ABX and Babesia Tx.
Many LLMDs wait for co-infection tests back before Txing because the COs need to be Txd first.
-------------------- Note: I'm NOT a medical professional. The information I share is from my own personal research and experience. Please do not construe anything I share as medical advice, which should only be obtained from a licensed medical practitioner. Posts: 4881 | From Middlesex County, NJ | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
alia, no, no one has ever said "high probability". This is the first real direction I have had in 8 years!
I cant tell you ALL how invaluable you are to me. I have learned more in the past few weeks than I have in years.
For the first time, as distrubing as it all can be
seeing the struggles and long term issues, I have some true hope. I know its going to be a
long road but if going through this can get me even remotely close to where and who I know I am
deep inside of me, then I am open to the ride. Of course I may be screameing otherwise real soon.
You ahve my permission to quote me back on thsi one in the future I may need it one day!
-------------------- Seeking renewed health & vitality. --------------------------------- Do not take anything I say as medical advice - I am NOT a dr! Posts: 830 | From TN | Registered: Aug 2007
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