Topic: What would you do??? Need feedback, please.
disturbedme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12346
posted
I need help with something.
My husband and I moved to MD a couple years ago and we are still here. We used to live in PA with his parents, so we're naturally going back to PA to spend Christmas with his family. This is fine and all good, but I'm worried because my husband's mother just got the flu yesterday. She had a high fever of 101, was puking and all that lovely stuff.
This worries me as I don't want to step foot in a house that has a virus floating around. I can't even take that chance with how low my immune system is functioning. I told my husband that if she is still sick TONIGHT or tomorrow, I am going to have to really think about not visiting for Christmas.
What would you do? I know they'll be very extremely unhappy about it; my husband's mom, dad and grandma, but I've really got to think about myself right now. And getting the flu would be something I can't deal with on top of everything else.
Or am I just being overly crazy, and should it be okay to go into a house where someone had the flu just a few days ago?
I'm worried that someone else will catch it between now and when we visit (husband's dad or brother) which would mean we would be visiting while someone else is coughing and puking and spitting out more virus germs.
Would we be okay if we just washed our hands CONSTANTLY? Or would you not risk it at all?
I'm just really worried about it and confused as what to do.
PS - I don't know if this is helpful, but my husband's mother (the one who's sick), just had a flu shot five days ago so we think maybe that is what made her sick now. Would that make a difference if it was the shot that made her sick (what I mean is, would that mean someone else wouldn't catch it as easily from her since it came from the SHOT or...?)
-------------------- One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar. ~ Helen Keller
My Lyme Story Posts: 2965 | From Land of Confusion (bitten in KS, moved to PA, now living in MD) | Registered: Jun 2007
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It would not be worth the risk of getting yourself sick.
Look how much you are stressing yourself out worrying about it, which in itself isn't good.
If your husband's family isn't understanding, that is ok.
My inlaws aren't very understanding either, but my husband is and I've decided that is all that matters.
Does your husband see where you are coming from? Then he will defend and support you when his family complains.
You have to take this time to focus on YOU. You aren't intentionally trying to avoid his family or intentionally trying to hurt them.
You are simply taking the time to care for yourself.
Tell them you are, in a way, doing it for them and by you taking one year or so "off", you will be much better in the long run:)
Jackie
Posts: 209 | From maryland | Registered: Aug 2007
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Carol in PA
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5338
posted
quote:Originally posted by disturbedme: ...my husband's mother just got the flu yesterday. She had a high fever of 101, was puking and all that lovely stuff.
Influenza is a respiratory disease. Very high fever, like 104, severe body aches, severe headache, dry cough.
Vomiting is not a usual symptom. Perhaps your mother in law has something else, maybe food poisoning? Is she also having bowel cramps and loose stools?
If I were as ill as she seems to be, I would not care to entertain guests. If this is influenza, she will still be pretty sick in a weeks time, and the cough and fatigue may linger for several weeks.
Another alternative would be for your husband to go without you.
Carol
Posts: 6947 | From Lancaster, PA | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
That's a difficult situation you are in! I know how demanding family can be. They say they understand but...
What day are you to arrive? You've got almost a week before Christmas. If no one else becomes symptomatic in the next day or two, and his Mom is recovered by Saturday perhaps it will be ok to go.
Are they the type of family that would spend some extra time cleaning/disenfecting things before your arrival given your health situation?
If you do go, be vigilant on handwashing. Bring some Lysol with you and privately disinfect areas you will be using a lot (bedroom, bathroom, etc).
Ideally, your husband could talk to his mother and take the "blame" for you, explaining that HE (not you) just does not feel comfortable exposing your family to an illness right now. She can't get too mad at her own son, right?
He can explain how disappointed you are but that he is making the final decision this time as he doesn't want to compromise your recovery even though you're willing to go.
Remember, you can't please everyone. So do what's right for you. They'll get over it.
~webmeg
Posts: 257 | From Connecticut | Registered: Oct 2007
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disturbedme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12346
posted
quote:Influenza is a respiratory disease. Very high fever, like 104, severe body aches, severe headache, dry cough.
Vomiting is not a usual symptom. Perhaps your mother in law has something else, maybe food poisoning? Is she also having bowel cramps and loose stools?
Maybe it's not the flu, because she is having loose stools as well. But I thought vomiting was a flu symptom? Hmmm. Will need to talk to her tonight and ask her what other symptoms she's having, like stomach pains/cramps.
-------------------- One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar. ~ Helen Keller
My Lyme Story Posts: 2965 | From Land of Confusion (bitten in KS, moved to PA, now living in MD) | Registered: Jun 2007
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disturbedme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12346
posted
Carol - I talked to my mother in law and she went to the doctor who told her it was the flu. She feels better today but she is extremely tired. She isn't puking now or having loose stools. Maybe it was a 24 hour flu virus or something?
-------------------- One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar. ~ Helen Keller
My Lyme Story Posts: 2965 | From Land of Confusion (bitten in KS, moved to PA, now living in MD) | Registered: Jun 2007
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TerryK
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 8552
posted
I personally wouldn't go. If your husband goes, he may bring it home to you.
I've been sick now for a week with some kind of cold/flu and it is miserable on top of herxing.
Complications for a normal person who has a normal immune system are not a big deal but for someone with a compromised immune system it is different and can make it much harder to get over the common flu.
We each have to make our own decision about what we are willing to deal with in order to please others.
Perhaps you could agree to go in January to celebrate when everyone is well??
Terry
Posts: 6286 | From Oregon | Registered: Jan 2006
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merrygirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12041
posted
This may sound extreme but could you wear a mask??
If it is a airborne illness that should help. I would also bring Lysol and hand sanitizer.
I wouldn't go unless I HAD to...
Good luck MElissa
Posts: 3905 | From USA | Registered: May 2007
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quote:Originally posted by disturbedme: Carol - I talked to my mother in law and she went to the doctor who told her it was the flu. She feels better today but she is extremely tired. She isn't puking now or having loose stools. Maybe it was a 24 hour flu virus or something?
I think a LOT of people refer to a stomach virus as a stomach "flu." Apparently...even drs say this!!
At any rate....Is there any chance you can stay in a motel nearby? Then meet at a restaurant or motel lobby once she's better?? Sounds crazy...but maybe there's a plan there somewhere!!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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posted
I always ask ahead if anyone is sick. If they are, I wont go. People are pretty understanding of my low immune function. Perhaps you can explain this to your MIL - I am sure she does not want you to feel the same way she just did on top of everything else you are dealing with.
I also wear gloves at times when I visit places, one less way to pick up things
-------------------- Nori Posts: 109 | From Virginia | Registered: Mar 2006
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D Bergy
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9984
posted
A high fever can clear out a lot of Lyme in a short time. I do not know if it is worth the price of a nasty flu.
Mt wife was symptom free for over a month after a high fever from a bad cold. Too bad it was not a permanent solution.
D Bergy
Posts: 2919 | From Minnesota | Registered: Aug 2006
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
I was thinking the same thing as Merry.
Could you wear a mask?
You probably are more at risk shopping in a grocery store, but
Knowing someone is sick and placing yourself within distance is scary for me too.
I caught my daughter's stomach flu this summer.
I really thought I was dying. She had it for two days.
My son for one.
When I got it a few days later, it really set me back.
I couldn't hold meds down. Couldn't even keep suppository phenergen down.
Since it is only Wed, maybe she will be over it by this weekend.
Bring a large can of lysol if you go.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
i'd stay home. as someone else said; hubby may bring it home to you, but at least you're sick AT HOME!
we all have to be so careful! my immediate siblings families ... SOMEONE ALWAYS COMES SICK! when i know it, i stay home!
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Truthfinder
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8512
posted
Tough situation! If you do feel compelled to go, perhaps you could take some kind of ``preventative products'' with you when you go. The Lysol is a good idea, too.
Two OTC products I have heard people talk about that help with prevention OR at the first sign of a cold or flu are Airborne and Occilococcinum . I confess that I have not needed either product as I have my own `system' of prevention and treatment. However, I think I may get some Occilo because I think it would be easier than what I'm doing! (Note: The Occilococcinum may be available only at health food stores.)
AIRBORNE: ``Airborne can be taken 2 ways: at the first sign of a cold symptom, or before entering crowded, potentially germ-infested environments, like airplanes and offices.''
Airborne Ingredients: Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Vitamin E, Magnesium, Zinc, Selenium, Manganese, Potassium Organic Herbal Extracts: Lonicera, Forsythia, Schizonepeta, Ginger, Chinese Vitex, Isatis Root, Echinacea Amino Acids: Glutamine, Lysine
Warning: I read that Airborne contains Aspartame (or one of the flavors does), which may be a problem for some people. Also, one person reported that the glass she used for the Airborne would not come clean in the dishwasher, so might be wise to use a plastic, disposable cup. Good idea anyway when anybody has a cold or the flu.
OCCILOCOCCINUM: Occilococcinum is a proprietary homeopathic remedy designed to be taken at the first sign of a cold or flu.
-------------------- Tracy .... Prayers for the Lyme Community - every day at 6 p.m. Pacific Time and 9 p.m. Eastern Time � just take a few moments to say a prayer wherever you are�. Posts: 2966 | From Colorado | Registered: Dec 2005
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disturbedme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12346
posted
Truthfinder - Last night I actually got something called, "Blockade, w/ ViraBloc" It's supposed to block viruses and colds from entering the human body. I will bring that along and take one or two a day. I really hope it helps, because I don't see it possible to get out of going.
-------------------- One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar. ~ Helen Keller
My Lyme Story Posts: 2965 | From Land of Confusion (bitten in KS, moved to PA, now living in MD) | Registered: Jun 2007
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CaliforniaLyme
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 7136
posted
My old Lyme doc used to give is all that viral blocker- um, forget what it is called- Tamiflu!!! It works great for Lymies-
-------------------- There is no wealth but life. -John Ruskin
All truth goes through 3 stages: first it is ridiculed: then it is violently opposed: finally it is accepted as self evident. - Schopenhauer Posts: 5639 | From Aptos CA USA | Registered: Apr 2005
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quote:Originally posted by disturbedme: I need help with something. This worries me as I don't want to step foot in a house that has a virus floating around. I can't even take that chance with how low my immune system is functioning. I told my husband that if she is still sick TONIGHT or tomorrow, I am going to have to really think about not visiting for Christmas.
What would you do?
I used to be very concerned about the same, largely on the basis of not wanting to catch something and feeling even worse than I already do.
Then I realized I had not caught a cold in many years. Many lymies report similar. This is likely because our immune systems are already stuck in high gear due to the Bb. With our immune system chronically on high alert for pathogens, it's much tougher to catch a cold. Can it happen? Sure, but it's a bunch less likely.
So, I'd visit those people, but for extra protection, I'd be sure to avoid touching my nose and eyes, since those locations are the primary ways cold virii find their way into our bodies. And wash hands thoroughly.
Posts: 727 | From USA | Registered: Mar 2006
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treepatrol
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 4117
posted
If your going to get it your going to get it. Just be careful wash hands before rubbing eyes or nose or mouth. Dont eat anything she has touched in anyway. Use clorox wipes and lysole if you have to use there bathroom. Bring a couple of blankets to set on then when going home put in garbage bag and wash with clorox at home throw bag away etc.
-------------------- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Remember Iam not a Doctor Just someone struggling like you with Tick Borne Diseases.
disturbedme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12346
posted
quote: Then I realized I had not caught a cold in many years. Many lymies report similar. This is likely because our immune systems are already stuck in high gear due to the Bb. With our immune system chronically on high alert for pathogens, it's much tougher to catch a cold. Can it happen? Sure, but it's a bunch less likely.
Yes, I have heard that our immune systems are on high gear most of the time due to Lyme. I just didn't want to chance it/am still worried about it. We are probably going to go, but we are probably going to wait until Sunday -- since she got sick Tuesday 3:00 am/Wednesday, so I want to give it as much time as possible to clear up/become un-contagious.
-------------------- One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar. ~ Helen Keller
My Lyme Story Posts: 2965 | From Land of Confusion (bitten in KS, moved to PA, now living in MD) | Registered: Jun 2007
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TerryK
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posted
quote: With our immune system chronically on high alert for pathogens, it's much tougher to catch a cold.
I'm pretty sure I have lyme since I have both IgG and IgM postitive WB via IgeneX and I have had literally years when I was sick non-stop with colds and flu. My mom is sick too and she is the opposite. Didn't get a cold or flu for years. I guess it depends on the person.
Terry
Posts: 6286 | From Oregon | Registered: Jan 2006
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tailz
Unregistered
posted
quote:I talked to my mother in law and she went to the doctor who told her it was the flu.
This is where you lost me. I never believe what my doctor tells me anymore. If I did, I would still be in "normal early menopause" and feeding my tumors estrogen (Premarin).
Unless he has bloodwork PROVING the flu, your guess is every bit as good as his - regardless of any degrees you each hold (or don't hold).
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Truthfinder
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Member # 8512
posted
Good for you, disturbedme! I haven't heard of that particular product, but there are so many out there these days.
The way I understand the catching cold thing is that if the cold/flu that you are exposed to is STRONGER or more potent than the current chronic infection you have, then you will catch the cold. But if your chronic/current infection is stronger, then you are far less likely to catch the new bug. Sounds crazy but I think there is some truth to it, just judging from what I've seen with my own illness.
So, catching cold can actually be a good sign that you are beating your chronic infection and doing something right! That doesn't mean you will feel great, though, because you may still be toxic from all the junk these chronic infections dump into our system, and there's no doubt that they also rob us of nutrients and impair our ability to produce energy and heal quickly. These effects can last quite a long time for many of us.
-------------------- Tracy .... Prayers for the Lyme Community - every day at 6 p.m. Pacific Time and 9 p.m. Eastern Time � just take a few moments to say a prayer wherever you are�. Posts: 2966 | From Colorado | Registered: Dec 2005
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disturbedme
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Member # 12346
posted
quote:Originally posted by tailz: This is where you lost me. I never believe what my doctor tells me anymore. If I did, I would still be in "normal early menopause" and feeding my tumors estrogen (Premarin).
Unless he has bloodwork PROVING the flu, your guess is every bit as good as his - regardless of any degrees you each hold (or don't hold).
I know. It's not like I believed him 100% either, but if she's puking and having all that, I don't even want to chance it being the flu or some kind of virus I or my husband could catch. It doesn't matter if it's the flu or not. A virus, of whatever kind, wouldn't be good to catch.
-------------------- One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar. ~ Helen Keller
My Lyme Story Posts: 2965 | From Land of Confusion (bitten in KS, moved to PA, now living in MD) | Registered: Jun 2007
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