Topic: Anyone ever have a problem with "Diahrrea of the Mouth"?
AliG
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posted
Has anyone ever felt compelled to run off at the mouth and divulge WAY TOO MUCH PERSONAL INFORMATION to someone they don't really know?
It may correspond to a time when you have WAY too much stress in your life, are changing ABX or having a sx flare or all of the these at once.
I'm sure it must be a psych symptom because it actually seems like a horrible compulsion. Even when you realize you need to stop what you're doing, you just can't.
The person you're talking to may SEEM sympathetic at a time when you really need some sympathy, (I believe it's called being polite. ), but YOU JUST DON'T REALIZE IT UNTIL IT'S TOO LATE!!! Once you've done this, the damage is done & you can't take it back.
You find yourself feeling like you never want to see/speak to the person again in your life because they just know WAY TOO MUCH about you.
Then some time AFTER you have an episode of this "Diahrrea Mouth"(for lack of the correct medical term) you either find the person you've spoken to obviously avoiding you or you feel the object of ridicule, whether it's real or perceived, by "reading between the lines", via statements made by other people that could apply to what you've done.
I realize this is a "support group" but some things really should not be said to anyone who does not have an ethical obligation to not divulge details of your conversations or do further psychological damage by telling others the nature of your conversations. It is not a reasonable expectation of someone with illness of their own.
What is the proper term for this compulsion? I feel the need to do some research on this to understand what causes it.
Is there a medication that will prevent this from occurring and enable you to keep your thoughts to yourself? (preferably one of a non-addictive nature)
I despise the thought of taking medication, however in this case I think the alternative is far worse. Does anyone know what might help with this?
When I first realized what I had done, I really truly wanted to die and while I do believe that I'm a stronger person than to ever actually "off myself". I also didn't expect myself to feel compelled to ramble like a lunatic, so what do I actually KNOW about what I might be capable of.
I REALLY CAN'T LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN! I feel not only embarrassed, but COMPLETELY HUMILIATED and TOTALLY MORTIFIED!
I am posting this in the hope of helping others who may also have had problems like this, I am trying to making something good come from something SO UNBEARABLY AWFUL!
I'm afraid 250mg Zith is not holding me, in fact, I'm sinking like a brick & I can't make it stop. I don't know if I'll make it until my next LLMD appt.
I know it has to be the Lyme that caused me to do this. I need to know how to prevent this from EVER HAPPENING AGAIN. It's an awful feeling to question your own sanity.
Houston, I have a problem.
[ 12. January 2008, 12:42 PM: Message edited by: AliG ]
-------------------- Note: I'm NOT a medical professional. The information I share is from my own personal research and experience. Please do not construe anything I share as medical advice, which should only be obtained from a licensed medical practitioner. Posts: 4881 | From Middlesex County, NJ | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
Yeah, I tend to do this. In my case, think its more from not really having a support system, rather than a symptom of anything.
Talking with a real live person is so much more satisfying than typing things out on the keyboard.
Its social contact. Don't know about you, but I don't get much of that other than my husband, and he's not much for listening.
We all need to be heard. We all need to vent. If our families, friends, and drs don't listen to us, where else is there to turn?
There are times when I'm absolutely desperate for social contact and those are the times when I tend to divulge far too much info to people I don't know very well, or at all.
-------------------- If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there. - Lewis Carroll Posts: 356 | From Body-PA, Mind-elsewhere | Registered: Dec 2007
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map1131
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Oh my!!!! I thought it was just me. For a long time I tried to keep most things happening to myself.
I also suffered from some anti-social thing. Even though I've been on lymenet since 02, I rarely posted much until maybe 6 mths ago. I couldn't be social on this site???????
When I was feeling anti-social, it was a chore for me to be around anyone. Even if they did the talking and I listened, it were absolutely exhaust me. This went all for about 5 yrs.
Now it's the opposite. I do have diahrrea of the mouth. I'm not talking about lyme & stuff. Just talking my fricking mouth off. Even to strangers, just greeting, how are you etc.
I only talk about my lyme to people that ask about it. Family, friends or acquittances. But my poor husband when he gets home from work. I'm a motor mouth.
Thank you for posting this. Now I know I'm not crazy.
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6478 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
Then again, I seem to have lost my mental/verbal brakes in another area.
While I can pretty much edit what I say online, I don't seem to have that control when it comes to verbal communication.
People tend to get my opinion, whether they want it or not. Dunno if I'm just getting obnoxious in my old age or what.
Tact? Ha!
I've also found myself saying random thoughts out loud, no matter where I am.
The mantra of "inside voice inside, outside voice outside" no longer seems to work.
Carrying on (one-sided) conversations with objects is fairly common now. When they start answering back is when I'll start really worrying.
My previous mantra has now been replaced with "must be smarter than the inanimate object".
Still, don't know if this is a symptom or if I'm losing it.
If nothing else, its entertaining.
-------------------- If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there. - Lewis Carroll Posts: 356 | From Body-PA, Mind-elsewhere | Registered: Dec 2007
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Vermont_Lymie
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Hi Ali,
I have been there. I always have to be on guard not to do this.
It really helps to be self aware of this tendency. Now you and I will have an easier time in the future with this type of restraint b/c we are conscious of the pitfalls of this type of behavior! I hope.
For me, It is really tough with TBDs. I try not to discuss lyme & company with most folks anymore, despite their being a constant interest as the struggle to get better is a big part of my life now. Better to visit lymenet, where everyone is here b/c they are interested in these topics!
Posts: 2557 | From home | Registered: Aug 2006
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Clarissa
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I'm just like you, Curiouser, I have no gate-keeper.
I am incapable of lying...even a little white lie.
I posted on General that I'm like Jim Carey in the movie Liar Liar. I have to practically stick a sock in my mouth to shut myself up.
Anti-social too...don't want to see or be around ANY humans right now (my pets are fine). I find people crazy, draining, and in general, in denial. (sigh)
posted
Me too!! Mouth in overdrive at times.I think its lyme related.
I am getting antisocial with people, cause I am having a lot of memory problems. Like not finding the right word. Can't follow conversations if more than one person is talking.
Pets are great!! They don't judge us for our slip ups and love us unconditionally.
-------------------- Take Care, DakotasMom01 Posts: 371 | From NJ | Registered: Dec 2007
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JRWagner
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Good grief! Relax! You have done nothing wrong, nor have you done anyone any harm. Reaching out to fellow Lymies, for instance, is totally normal! We all need support!
Now, I seem to have run out of Charmin...do any of you have a spare roll? No? How about a few tissues? Paper towel..(ouch)...napkin?
Great, now what am I to do about my "D" mouth?
Peace, Love and Wellness, JRW
Posts: 1414 | From Ny, Ny | Registered: Oct 2002
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posted
I can totally relate to this! It's like if someone shows even remote compassion by asking "So how are you?" my floodgates open with too many details!
Then I end up getting paranoid and thinking that folks might want to avoid me; I try not to say anything at all and feel socially disconnected. I don't want to be seen as a needy personality even if my body is sick.
The weirdest thing early on in my Lyme path was that my eyes would always tear up when I would have parent-teacher conferences at school. I wasn't sad, but it looked like I was everytime tears would stream down my face. I'd always say something lame like "oh these darn allergies..."
Now I don't tear up, but do feel that compelling need for friendship and social contact that drives me to too much talk. Sometimes I just keep reminding myself to ask people about themselves so i won't talk about me.
Ah, we're all in a similar boat.... regatta anyone?
wiserforit
Posts: 508 | From Banks of the Hudson | Registered: Jul 2006
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TerryK
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Dear Ali, Yes, this happened to me last year with one professional. From the first visit this weird behavior would come on and I couldn't stop talking. Anything and everything came pouring out very fast. I felt very embarrassed, especailly since she didn't know me. I also divulged things that I never would have said if I had been able to control it. ugh!!!
I would feel drained for days afterwards. I couldn't figure out why it was happening or stop it. I'd never had anything like that happen before and it was driving me crazy. I was seriously considering never seeing her again if I couldn't get it to stop.
My herbalist/muscle tester and I figured it out in a session that I scheduled specifically to see if we could figure out what the heck was going on. It was related to some past emotional trauma that her place of business (which was in the top floor of her house) was bringing up or at least my subconcious was trying to get me to remember and deal with it.
Just knowing that helped. We cleared it with various techniques including flower essences, a homeopathic remedy and accupuncture. It took one session to clear and it never bothered me again.
Hope you figure it out. Look for some triggers that might be part of the picture and go from there.
Terry
Posts: 6286 | From Oregon | Registered: Jan 2006
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I have had terrible problems with this. This stuff got into my brain. I think it has something to do with frontal lobe dysfunction to be honest, because in general my personality is very open and willing to discuss any topic at length.
These sorts of minor behavoiral changes are often seen in other diffuse brain diseases. early stages of neurosyphilis for instance.
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lymednva
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I have this problem also. I have one friend who has worked tirelessly with me to help me avoid it during times I am in a group.
Sometimes I get upset with her for putting limits on me, or at least trying to, but looking at it this way I see she's really helping me.
-------------------- Lymednva Posts: 2407 | From over the river and through the woods | Registered: Apr 2006
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dontlikeliver
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Yep. I'm pretty much an open (audio) book...and I hate it. I'm also unable to lie and my true thoughts and feelings always show. Hate that too sometimes.
Posts: 2824 | From The Back of Beyond | Registered: Oct 2003
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quote:Originally posted by AliG: You find yourself feeling like you never want to see/speak to the person again in your life because they just know WAY TOO MUCH about you.
Houston, I have a problem.
IMO, there's no shame in telling the truth. If someone else can't handle knowing something about you, it's THEIR problem.
But, is your question about monopolizing a conversation with discussions about yourself? If a listener stops participating and their eyes glaze over, well, yes then you are talking too much.
In a social setting few people want to hear lots about illness, whether its Lyme or any illness. Mentioning it is fine, of course, just don't overload disinterested listeners with info.
IMO, it's best to save the details for a place where others can understand because they are going through the same thing. This is such a place.
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Carol in PA
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AliG said:
quote: What is the proper term for this compulsion? I feel the need to do some research on this to understand what causes it.
The term may be lack of inhibition.
Carol
Posts: 6947 | From Lancaster, PA | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
In lieu of the topic of talking too much, I thought it was funny that my post appeared three times. Something screwy with my computer...sorry! I deleted the extra posts.
Best,
wiserforit
Posts: 508 | From Banks of the Hudson | Registered: Jul 2006
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dontlikeliver
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Yeah Wiserforit - you're demonstrating your eagerness to talk!!
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Clarissa
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While I have the inability to lie (and can be tactless, to the point and intolerant) I have the opposite problem with the whole story telling thing:
People are COMPELLED to tell me THEIR story. Any and every detail about various things in their lives. It's like I'm a therapist and they just sit their, speaking in soliloquoys.
I'm on the receiving end of the mouth (and I'm the Lyme victim)...but then again, I think some of them are, too... they just haven't been diagnosed...yet.
My mother does the "too-many-details-about-Lyme" thing with people who get glazed over. I get SO embarrassed when she does that...I shrink into the corner because I know 1/2 of these people:
a) don't believe in Lyme b) go cross-eyed when she mentions herxes, biotoxins and coinfections
A recommendation: I use these words a lot to help keep my audience when I do think they are sincerely asking about my life/disease.
I say "cut to:" like in a movie. I leave out all of the little details and say, "cut to":
People laugh, so you keep their attention and then you don't annoy them, or DRAIN YOURSELF with the same story over and over and over.
If someone thinks they may have Lyme, I send them 3 different websites and say I'll answer their questions after they do some reading.
It's just too exhausting and we Lymies must conserve our energy for our recovery.
Keebler
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posted
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Communicating with another person takes tremendous effort.
If we are tired, or someone blinks and tosses us off track, well, then we may not be able to devote the energy needed to be gatekeeper, etc.
It may not take others so much energy as they are not hampered with the stuff our brains, bodies and livers are.
Also - maybe you need to talk more - but to a variety of others.
I tend to be so research minded and try to assess what I need to do differently that I can rattle that stuff off much more easily than exploring - and paying attention to a topic chosen by someone else. I actually prefer to listen to others rather than be cornered by just one person and required to pay attention.
The dreaded "what do you do?" still harpoons me from time to time. "Well, I'd like to be swimming in the Carribean right now, how does that sound?" is a great volley back to them.
If you are lucky and can get out, check out other outlets, other topics of interest. An art gallery lecture, talks at the audubon society, etc. Just watch, and listen to others for a while. That's less stressful.
Can you also, then, go to counseling to talk about what you need to verbalize? That's important. Or doing art or other ways to express yourself? Sing ? Use your voice to make sound just to exercise your vocal chords and lungs - various chants, etc. It can be fun and/or therapeutic. Move the energy through you before you meet up with others. See if that helps.
Sometimes, it's not until I'm with others and I start talking that the switch just says "keep going - you never get to talk" - so vocalizing before might be very good.
shazdancer
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posted
Thanks, Carol, disinhibition. Also emotional lability (which can go in both directions, and has been seen in MS ), and even a mild mania. Rapid-cycling bipolar has been reported in Lyme disease, and manic episodes have been traced in some instances to circadian rhythm and lack of melatonin (see Psych Times ), so I wouldn't be surprised if sleep dysfunction had something to do with it.
I have experienced mild "running off at the mouth" episodes, sometimes after first taking SAM-E, and it is known to be a side effect. I have also been known to interrupt a conversation, but that sometimes comes from being afraid I would forget my train of thought!
Another cognitive problem I have seen with Lyme patients is the inability to summarize, which has to do with prioritizing. At the Boston hearing, when patients were asked to set aside the too-long papers they had written and just summarize what had happened to them, they couldn't do it. Over and over again, they went right back to reading.
I have seen both these traits (along with word retrieval and short-term memory problems) when it comes to Lyme. Perhaps part of the running off at the mouth just comes from the relief of having someone who will actually listen, and we want so much for them to understand how horrendous this can be. But I suspect that part of this is the disease itself.
-- Shaz
Posts: 1558 | From the Berkshires | Registered: Jul 2001
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shazdancer
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I just read your post, Keebler. I have often wondered where the brain's inhibitors lie, where the brain screens out excess noise, bright lights, and other stimulations, so that we aren't effected by them. It seems to me that the hypersensitivities happen when the regulator shuts down. Perhaps the mind's ability to screen appropriateness is a part of that.
Posts: 1558 | From the Berkshires | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
"Diahrrea of the Mouth" I love it! Finally a name for it! I have had this for many years, and now beginning to think ti is lyme related.
I also have the "inside voice/outside voice" problem lately. i find myself talking to myself in the car all the time. I can only hope people think I am on a cell phone.
Posts: 615 | From maryland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Keebler
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shazdancer - I think you've got it. Your comment is so right on. My screeners really are out to lunch - but not at my table with me.
So when I know my senses are overwhelmed (all the time), I need to be sure not to put my mouth on autopilot.
It may be a coping mechanism - that illusion of momentum.
Someone asks you a question - or you feel "on the spot" - "on stage" You'd better do something . . . so we take off with stuff that just rolls out - unware of the subtle give and take of communication. Not even able to really look at others for feedback as that would be too distracting.
You've helped me understand this a bit better. That thinking before speaking stuff - well, I never understood how that really works. I think my adrenals were just shooting out the stress hormones and saying "fly" and my mouth thought the message was directed to it, eh?
It's interesting to consider all the insights here.
Carol in PA
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quote:Originally posted by shazdancer: Another cognitive problem I have seen with Lyme patients is the inability to summarize, which has to do with prioritizing.
If you have trouble holding thoughts in short term memory, you are unable to arrange them in terms of importance.
I used to be so good at this....sigh.....
Carol
Posts: 6947 | From Lancaster, PA | Registered: Feb 2004
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sometimesdilly
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yes, been there,am there as to the very ugh experience of not responding to social/communicative cues.
to all of it: speaking too much, speaking too little, interrupting someone else every other second because pauses are no longer obvious, missing the emotional content of a question or statement, being overly emotional in response to a person/situation that had nothing to do with emotions...
there is no end to the variety of reasons why being with others is SOOOOOOO difficult. It is not a whine to say only someone else with Lyme could possibly understand this.
you're not alone, Ali...
dilly
Posts: 2507 | From lost in the maze | Registered: Aug 2006
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Silverwolf
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<<<<< Lymer Friends >>>>>, Thanks for posting and replying to this subject!!!
I am so glad to see I am not 'all a sea' by myself,on my own little broken down raft.
I'm afraid to open my mouth,and my poor hubby suffers as he is the only one I can really talk to about the various issues.
Now I see that it is a common issue w/ LYme/TBD's. Wow, this is something to read.
The 'anti-social' bit fits in too, finally a way to explain ...been hiding latley,as it were,because I cannot shut up...
Some folks, in the area where I live,and hubby works,have really got me agitated of late. If I see them, I have to try super hard not to say what I'm thinking...[not always successfully ].
Seriously...Thank You for bringing the subject up!!! Sheepish-SilverWolf-in-Hiding
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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shazdancer
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From Keebler
quote:Someone asks you a question - or you feel "on the spot" - "on stage" You'd better do something . . . so we take off with stuff that just rolls out - unware of the subtle give and take of communication.
Ooh, that's embarrassingly accurate. I will have to keep a closer eye on that in myself. I have sometimes been able to beat it (at least at work) by having my pen and pad handy to write down thoughts as someone else talks, so I don't feel like I will forget as the conversation goes on.
I think the antisocial bit comes in because it is just so hard to sustain social interaction on Lyme -- the lights, sounds, interruptions of thought when thinking is slow, all those things that others don't know we are going through because it is an invisible process. I have experienced hearing loss and hearing sensitivity at the same time. Too weird!
I was fortunate that this last flare did not involve sensitivities very much, because I work as an administrative assistant part of the time, and multi-tasking is part of the job.
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AliG
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I just want to thank everyone for your replies thus far. I attempted to post yesterday but just couldn't find the strength. When I read the earlier replies I ended up having some fits of inconsolable crying. (Yes, I cried "like a girl" )
I had to try to stop thinking about the whole thing because I have a family that I have to keep up a strong front for. It's funny actually, the ONLY thing I seem to be able to lie about is crying.
Maybe it's because to anyone else it would be obvious that's what I've been doing but my DD will still buy that there's something in my eye & I'm just frustrated because I can't get it out.
I still don't have the mental/emotional/physical strength to do the research yet, but thanks for the leads on terminology.
The Liar,Liar thing made me laugh because the compulsion did seem a lot like that. Kind of like "No don't say it!!!!" OOps, too late! Well now that you've said that, it's not so hard to say something else of your deepest, darkest, haunting personal thoughts. "No don't say it!!!!" Oops, too late! Each time asking yourself, "What have I done? Why did I say that?" but being unable to stop doing it.
I"d had problems in the past with some of the other types of "DM" mentioned. They seemed to have resolved with ABX Tx.
I also had some issues yesterday with sore, burning soles of my feet so maybe some of what I'm going through right now could be related to Bart.???
I have to run out now, but will try to get back to this again later. Thank you all for sharing with me so I don't feel like such a freak.
It was sort of like my "social filter" was completely absent and no longer screening out those things you "just don't tell people". (TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!!)
Maybe it was just having found a kind, sympathetic ear, when I really don't have anyone to lean on, but I do feel awful for having subjected them to a complete barrage of my personal nonsense, when they have their own problems to deal with.
They were very supportive & helpful, but I still feel like a complete "putz".
-------------------- Note: I'm NOT a medical professional. The information I share is from my own personal research and experience. Please do not construe anything I share as medical advice, which should only be obtained from a licensed medical practitioner. Posts: 4881 | From Middlesex County, NJ | Registered: Jul 2006
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AliG
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Terry,
I do think the figuring out of the "trigger" actually did help me. There was a traumatic experience that was brought to the forefront of my mind while trying to determine the actual origination of my Sx.
Thinking of that incident seemed to trigger memories of every similarly traumatic or upsetting experience & I couldn't make my seemingly irrational fears stop, until I finally blurted it all out and was able to look at it from a different perspective.
I think that actually broke the cycle. It was actually quite empowering. Talking about all the issues that were haunting me seemed to take away their charge.
I guess there are many of us who find ourselves feeling alienated from people who may have previously been supportive. I think it becomes extremely difficult when we feel we have no one we can talk to.
I do have to say that I am VERY thankful for all my friends here at Lymenet who are always willing to share their thoughts, experiences and coping strategies and to lend an ear when needed.
Thank you ALL!!!
Ali
-------------------- Note: I'm NOT a medical professional. The information I share is from my own personal research and experience. Please do not construe anything I share as medical advice, which should only be obtained from a licensed medical practitioner. Posts: 4881 | From Middlesex County, NJ | Registered: Jul 2006
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bettyg
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posted
ali, count me in; we've got a BIG GROUP going!! time to get
Geneal
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posted
Dear AliG,
As long as you did not give out your social security number,
Driver's license and bank accounts......I think it will be alright.
Lack of inhibition is an interesting term.
I've worked with several closed head injured people who have this.
Frontal lobe injury or dysfunction is usually the culprit.
I (think) for us in our journey and struggle to stay afloat (physically and mentally)
We feel compelled to share that with others.
Possibly a need to keep someone else from going through that.
True lack of inhibition involves sexual comments, curse words and
Totally inappropriate comments. I've had patients comment on
My breasts, their desire to have a more physical relationship with me,
My hair, makeup, etc.
It isn't too much honesty all the time. Sometimes it is just
A thought that pops in their head and flies out of their mouths without thinking.
Usually of a very sexual nature.
Trust me.....there is nothing sexy about Lyme and/or co-infections.
I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. You are a wonderful person.
A wonderful person struggling with a horrible illness.
I guess my saving grace at times is that I can't find the words to express myself.
Keeps me from divulging too much information.
Don't be mortified. Next time you see this person,
Gently express as how you live this nightmare every day,
Sometimes you get a little passionate about talking about your struggle.
Who knows? You may have "saved" that person or someone that person knows
From the awful quest of finding out what is wrong with them.
Try to take a positive spin on it.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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AliG
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posted
Thanks for the reassurance Betty & Geneal.
It wasn't a "Lyme" conversation . I have a few "outside" people I seem to do that to on a regular basis.
One is a former critical care nurse, so I know SHE understands. She's really an angel, though I still feel bad about unloading things like my IV nightmare on her.
I think the "disinhibition" thing might be closer.
Seeing how all the other symptoms are coming back It does seem likely that I'm just losing it.
-------------------- Note: I'm NOT a medical professional. The information I share is from my own personal research and experience. Please do not construe anything I share as medical advice, which should only be obtained from a licensed medical practitioner. Posts: 4881 | From Middlesex County, NJ | Registered: Jul 2006
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2)in one of her essays,dr. virginia scher alludes to this, and corelates it either with lyme, and/or TBis, generally. subconscious material is out of the mouth before one could retrieve it.
relatedly,the report by my disability interviewer said domething to the effect of ,"I couldn't a word in...." ; or "...he wouldn't let me get a word in..."
-------------------- pingpong Posts: 361 | From At the Pingpong Tournament | Registered: Oct 2007
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posted
Have also lost the gatekeeper. Though always a truth-teller, I do think I was tactful, empathetic and kind. Now, stuff will just fly out of my mouth. It's bad enough that there is no filter, but I also feel my judgment is so off that much of what I say will be a ridiculously negative or dark interpretation of . . . whatever(or whoever) I'm commenting on.
It has a little similarity to drinking too much, in that while I am engaging in this behavior, there is another me standing off to the side watching, saying 'who IS this woman'????
I use the same strategies as everyone else - sometimes just isolate myself - also, I am teaching myself to be a little more 'silent' if I sense I may not be in good control of myself. It's different, because I am a naturally enthusiastic and gregarious person, but it can be for the best. Minimize the damage!
And, like many, I just cry at the drop of a hat. Including my son's school conferences - AND his holiday music concert!!!!!
otm
Posts: 314 | From east coast | Registered: Oct 2007
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posted
As a guy with Lyme disease, I can say this is one problem I don't seem to have. Nobody gave a crap about my "feelings" when I was well, much less being ill. As a male who is unemployed I essentially have no value to society - so I learned to shut up about myself because talking about this illness to others just gets me misunderstanding and ire.
In the meantime I've learned to hate and distrust most people with a white-hot passion (particularly those in the medical profession), but anger is more useful than despair I suppose.
Posts: 32 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Sep 2007
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TerryK
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 8552
posted
Alig wrote:
quote: I do think the figuring out of the "trigger" actually did help me. There was a traumatic experience that was brought to the forefront of my mind while trying to determine the actual origination of my Sx.
Thinking of that incident seemed to trigger memories of every similarly traumatic or upsetting experience & I couldn't make my seemingly irrational fears stop, until I finally blurted it all out and was able to look at it from a different perspective.
I think that actually broke the cycle. It was actually quite empowering. Talking about all the issues that were haunting me seemed to take away their charge.
I've had similar experiences. When this happened to me last year, I think I was talking a lot in order to avoid allowing the traumatic memories to come to the forefront. It was a totally subconcious thing.
It is amazing how once we realize what the issue is, that in itself can diffuse it and it often stops haunting us and the pain simply goes away and bothers us no more. Very strange the way it works.
I will often write all my thoughts down if I don't have someone to talk to or can't figure out why something is bothering me. Then going back later can be very helpful because more than once, something that was bothering me is solved when I read all my thoughts later, after I've had time to let it all sink in.
I think that when we are healing, we often have emotional issues come up because emotional trauma can be stored in a similar fashion to toxins and once we start clearing things out, it stirs up some of the emotional issues as well.
Terry
Posts: 6286 | From Oregon | Registered: Jan 2006
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I can't blame it on lyme though... I have always been too trusting of others.
But all in all I like to think that the world is full of kind people for the most part
-------------------- Please consult your LLMD before making any changes to your treatment regimen. Posts: 641 | From NJ, USA | Registered: Oct 2001
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tailz
Unregistered
posted
I have the mouth runs, too, and I was voted shyest girl in high school because I didn't talk.
It's almost like a dire need to be honest, whether it involves telling people every personal secret you have or telling people how much they hurt you. I feel like they can tell what's on my mind.
I think it's healthy for me though somehow. I held a lot in.
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posted
It's easy for me to run my mouth too, even when I'm the only one around, just talking away outloud. It gets embarassing when I realize someone is just behind me. I guess we can always try to cover it up by looking like we're on a cell phone! Or sometimes I imagine that I'm practising a part in a play.
One way I stop the overflow of talk with someone else is to simply ask the other person a question about their life, and then I quiet down. I suppose this strategy could be used whenever needed in the conversation, just focusing on them instead of us.
Posts: 13116 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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AliG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9734
posted
I always feel absolutely awful when I've just had a conversation with someone & find myself unable to remember what they've said or been unable to focus & follow the conversation.
Maybe the conversational DM is a defense mechanism of sorts. If they can't get a word in, you don't have very much to feel bad about not remembering.
I KNOW the inability to keep from interrupting someone develops from feeling you have something valuable to say & fearing that you will certainly forget it, if it doesn't IMMEDIATELY come out of your mouth.
Maybe saying your thoughts out loud, when you think no one is listening, is because they seem difficult to sort through when they are floating around in your head, possibly a product of disorganized thinking.
Bitrex-
I have always been a very trusting person & have suffered so much hurt as a result. I understand the anger, hate and distrust you feel.
I find that the negative emotions of anger and hate only make ME feel worse and make those around me more negative toward me.
I think that if you can find a way to let go of the bitterness, perhaps by trying to realize that people who are cruel probably have problems unrelated to you that you are unaware of and are merely venting on you because you are an easy target, you might actually feel better yourself.
I have this little thing that I do when someone I don't know is unkind. I take it as a challenge. If they can break my smile & make me react negatively, they win.
If I can remain pleasant & positive, everyone who comes in contact with that person after me wins. Negativity can often be diffused by positivity and if not, they'll just become frustrated & IMPLODE!!!!!
I think you should give that a shot & see how YOU feel. It just might help. As for the trust thing, I've been hurt an AWFUL lot through my life, as a result of being overly trusting. I still struggle with the trust issues.
TuTu- YOU..... talk a lot?
I wouldn't have you any other way!
-------------------- Note: I'm NOT a medical professional. The information I share is from my own personal research and experience. Please do not construe anything I share as medical advice, which should only be obtained from a licensed medical practitioner. Posts: 4881 | From Middlesex County, NJ | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
I'm really glad there is an edit option and I could delete 3/4 of what i originally typed.. If only we could do this in a real conversation!
I struggle with this too. Though I am a lot better at keeping most of my personal stuff to myself and close friends than I use to. Though not always.
Of course, for some reason I'm always chit chatting with strangers and making new friends.. I chit chat with myself too but that's besides the point.. When it's in public it can have its embarassing moments. I'm really glad to know that I'm not the only one who can have a running commentary with themselves about anything...
Kinda funny story.. I was at a health food store the other day trying to decide on a hair color.. (In my defense, going from a lifelong blond to red is sort of a hard decision)I started talking to a man who was nearby, found out his wife was a hair dresser and before I knew it I invited him to call her so I could get her advice.
I felt awkward after I felt like I intruded on his personal space and said something I wouldnt normally say. It just sort of came bouncing out of my mouth :X Before I could say anything else he was dialing her number. He was really nice, so was she! I had trouble getting both of them to stop talking!
I have several close friends that I met by starting a conversation in some public place like that.. Go figure!
[ 17. March 2008, 02:12 AM: Message edited by: Minnie Mouse ]
Posts: 59 | From U.S. | Registered: Oct 2007
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posted
Minnie, Funny you should mention meeting interesting people that way.
I had a similar experience this past weekend.
Was at the grocery store, mumbling to myself at the seafood counter, and made a random comment to a gal in line ahead of me about what she was getting.
"Ooooh, that looks good, wish I could eat that" or somesuch.
It started a conversation about food intolerances, leaky gut, etc. and I soon found out she and her family also have Lyme.
She also sees the same holistic MD that I do (I have an LLMD as well). Small world!
She only lives 10 minutes from me and we exchanged e-mails.
We must have chatted there for close to a half hour.
It was wonderful to talk to someone in "real life" who understands.
-------------------- If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there. - Lewis Carroll Posts: 356 | From Body-PA, Mind-elsewhere | Registered: Dec 2007
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posted
Sounds just like me! What state do you live in?
I'm usually not feeling well and very anti social because of this. So when I feel well enough to do some grocery shopping, etc..... I think I just have to talk because I'm so happy to be out and around people, and feeling a little better than normal.
I'm so tired, hope this makes sense.
Posts: 59 | From U.S. | Registered: Oct 2007
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posted
OMG and I thought it was just me... I am glad that I am not the only one...
I was just thinking about this very thing last night, because of something that I said over the weekend... It did not get me in trouble this time and in some ways, what I said needed to be said, but it's not (or didn't used to be) in my nature to just "blurt" things out like that....
I think it is definitely a lyme symptom, especially NeuroLyme... I remember back years ago, when my dad had his first stroke.
It was a minor one, but it affected his left side some and I remember my mom saying something then about some of the comments he used to make to people that he never did before....personal comments...
It seems the worse the brain fog, the more the "diarrhea" flows...and it can be embarrassing. I guess I just going to have to be more aware of what I am saying and make it a point to "think before opening my mouth" to avoid "opening mouth and inserting foot"...
Ellen
Posts: 50 | From Port Crane, NY | Registered: Apr 2007
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posted
Minnie, Don't know if that made any sense or not either, but I understood it.
I'm in PA, near Pottstown and King of Prussia.
I tend to do the hermit thing too. Venture out from my "nest" for doctor's appts and the occasional errand.
In my case, I have such anxiety about going out, it really gets the adrenaline going. By the time I get to where I'm going, I'm totally wired.
The social aspect is nice too, but I can only take so much of "people!".
-------------------- If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there. - Lewis Carroll Posts: 356 | From Body-PA, Mind-elsewhere | Registered: Dec 2007
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Can you drive? How much do you get out during an average week? What kind of treatment protocol are you on? Have you seen improvement? Hope you don't mind all the inquiries.
Your last post reminds me totally of myself. Most of the time I have to force myself to leave my house to go to my docs apts. Many times I consider cancelling but most of the time I push through and go.
I just don't feel like getting dressed to go out, much less getting out and dealing with visual/physical stimulation and people.
I think it's healthy to have social interaction. We need it, even if it's hard getting out. It obviously can't be a routine right now..
It takes our minds off what's going on and helps us focus on someone else. And I think if we let it, we can start to feel normal and forget for a little while which has to lend something to our well being and healing.
God is helping me to see the positive things.. Leaning on him is what gets me through and gives me hope. I had gotten to a point of total despair, and that is no fun. How do you cope?
Now friends take me to the doc most of the time since I older stick shift which is becoming increasingly difficult to drive. It's an hour drive or more depending on traffic but it's still a rough day.
I may drive once a week myself now 3 miles to the grocery store.
I have started having a symptom that makes me want to avoid people even more when it hits. It started with my right arm jerking, it has migrated to my entire body.
It seemed like movement made it disappear but it has started happening while I walk too now.
When this thing hits I feel so jerky walking, certainly not feminine. ugh. And I don't wnat to run into strangers much less anyone I know like this.
I feel like I'm rambling but most of the time I don't feel like typing at all so I guess it's better to be saying something than nothing.
Posts: 59 | From U.S. | Registered: Oct 2007
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