posted
I suspect all three of my children have Lyme. I
have scheduled an appt w Dr.J, but it's not
till April. In the meantime my middle child is
having fits of "out of his mind" rage. He's
been the hot head of the family since day one
and he would only occasionally have a blow up.
Now, is different story. He wakes up challenging
me from getting ready for school to what kind of
glass he wants his water in. And there are those
many times in between where he's so SWEET -
kind , giving and going out of his way to help,
but they are becoming less and less.
I don't know what to do in the meantime. I'm a
mother of firm discipline, but I realize there
will be some give and take.
How do you cope as a parent?
What do you suggest from now till April?
I do not want any psychologist/therapist
involved-I don't want to get stuck in the
argument of "Is lyme really responsible" etc.
Thanks for listening - I feel so much better.
Your response is so greatly appreciated.
Thank you char
Posts: 262 | From ohio | Registered: Jul 2008
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bejoy
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11129
posted
Wow, Char. Here's to you as a mom.
Some suggestions: You'll have to see if any of these make sense in your situation.
1. Back flower remedies - they have some good ones for helping a child calm down from anger
2. Chamomile tea and warm milk
3. Make sure his blood sugar does not get too low. Try not to let him get hungry, or even go to long before breakfast.
3. Put them in water. Ease them into a warm bath, or pop them all clothed into a running shower, whatever works.
4. Hold on tight to the child until the fit is over, for a small child. I'd do this only very carefully, with backup, love, and patience. Sometimes a child needs to feel that someone is bigger than him, when his emotions feel as big as the universe. (If done with love, this can be extremely comforting, but with any emotion other than love, this could terrify the child even more)
5. Take a time out yourself. Let him rage in the other room while you go breathe. Go to general support as often as needed to tell us how you are coping, and get some care.
-------------------- bejoy!
"Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." -Ralph Waldo Emerson Posts: 1918 | From Alive and Well! | Registered: Feb 2007
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I don't have much time to write right now, but the first thing that pops into my head is, are your children being treated right now?
If not, perhaps you can get them in to see someone else and have them tested, so that if they do have lyme, they are not going to wait several months for tx.
Besides behavioral stuff, what other symptoms do your children have?
Behavioral stuff can be a part of lyme for kids, but there are physical sx as well.
I'll respond again later, I have to go now... kp
Posts: 394 | From tinton falls nj | Registered: Jul 2007
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lymednva
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9098
posted
My middle child also was very strong-willed when younger. As an adult he has mellowed somewhat, and his psychiatric issues are no being treated, so he's much nicer to be around.
We haven't dealt with the Lyme issue due to his difficulty in finding permanent employment with benefits. His COBRA ran out and he is currently uninsured, although I think he may qualify for Medicaid at the moment.
I think he has Lyme and at least Bart, congenital, or from breast milk. Other problems he has had since birth make me think that it's probably congenital.
When he was young a good friend told me to "pick your battles." I quickly learned to let go of some of the stuff that really didn't matter, such as which color glass he wanted. He always liked green, so that was easy!
Meanwhile, try to give yourself some special "me time" where you can get away and pamper yourself, or even go window shopping, see a movie, with a girlfriend, etc.
When you are renewed yourself you will find it much easier to deal with his outbursts.
I agree that finding someone who might treat until he can get him with Dr. J would be a wise idea.
posted
I have congenital Lyme and had the rage as a child. My mother and I fought basically my whole childhood and through the teen years.
My two children have congenital Lyme. My oldest has not had rage issues, but my youngest?
To the extreme! All that you said only amplify it about a dozen-fold. Since he was 3y. He will be 10 next month.
It was probably made worse by multiple short courses of steroids to control his asthma. (I did not know about the Lyme at the time.)
I have tried EVERYTHING... for 6 years. I've even called the police on him to try and 'scare' him enough to control himself better.
Granted that was before we were sure it was Lyme, but still...
It got so bad and stayed that way so long I seriously was considering a boys home/ranch for him.
There was just no way I could give him what he needed, especially with my health going downhill quickly.
Praise the Lord we are seeing improvement now finally!
For my son what has made the difference was anti-depressants.
He also had SEVERE anxiety all these years which disappeared almost completely after about a month of doxycycline and ceftin.
It was at that point we added the anti-depressant and I kid you not in 2wks I had a 100% different child!
For the next several weeks he was THE most polite, well-mannered, helpful, obedient, happy kid. His only behavior issues were unthinking things like playing with objects that were dangerous or climbing up on the roof for fun.
Basically treating the depression (which was the root of the rage) let his ADHD symptoms come out full-force.
He was burning badly during the one hour of sunblocked outside time he had at school each day, so we switched his doxycycline to zithromax and by day 5 the rage was back. =(
We're now in the process of tweaking his meds to get the happy, well-behaved little rambunctious boy back.
It looks like we're on the right track again finally after weeks. He's currently off the zithromax and we upped his anti-depressant dosage a good bit.
The doc doesn't know if what happened was because of the anitbiotic switch or just the end of the so-called 'honeymoon' phase of the anti-depressant and so he needed a bigger dose.
In the worst rages, I have had to physically hold him down to keep him from hurting the rest of the family (throwing, kicking, hitting, biting, etc) or himself (running out of the house into the street and around town, breaking glass, etc).
In between... just like your son... the sweetest, most compassionate little guy you've ever seen.
The family has called him Jekyll/Hyde for years. We've always said his moods can turn on a dime and for NO reason.
His doc said that was a common presentation of depression in kids his age.
Good luck!
Chris
Posts: 155 | From Texas | Registered: Oct 2007
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posted
My son became gluten intolerant when he first was treated for Lyme in 2002. A couple of years later we did a gluten challenge (i.e. had him eat wheat daily) and he became a different child. He was very angry and emotionally unstable. Once we learned he still had a problem with gluten and he went back on a gluten free diet he was his happy agreeable self.
Unfortunately we learned last winter that he still has Lyme and now he is intolerant of gluten, dairy, soy, eggs and nuts. It seems to me that many with Lyme also have a problem with gluten.
Maybe you could keep a food diary to see if the rage seems to occur more frequently after he eats certain foods.
--Judy
Posts: 67 | From Maryland | Registered: Jun 2003
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Shosty
Unregistered
posted
I still don't have a feel for how old your kids are. It makes a difference.
What you describe could have many different causes, including food allergies (as someone said), bipolar illness, depression, puberty and developmental issues, and infections. It is hard, but you will have to keep them all in mind, because it will be a while before you know, if you ever do.
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tickbattler
Unregistered
posted
Char,
Your son sounds much like one of my twin boys who also has become increasingly difficult to deal with. He has always been the most "spirited" but when he became sick with lyme the spirited behavior turned oppositional.
When he is having symptoms (which is every day), he fights me on everything. But for part of the day, he is sweet. I have also described him as Jeckyl and Hyde.
I just recently posted about his more aggressive and violent behavior since starting Mepron 3 weeks ago.
My son's ears also turn red like your son's. I would try to get some kind of treatment started if you can before you see Dr. J. (All of my 3 children see Dr. J as well...you will be in good hands!).
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