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Originally posted by groovy2:
Hi All-

I bet I speak for Many if not Most people here that we all have thought about ending all the pain-

Personally I have been sick for over 20 years-
for about 10 years I would pray that I would
just not wake up every morning -
and thought about killing myself Many times
Every day --

3 years and 30 days ago I made myself a promise
that that if in One year I had not made any progress that I was going to end all the pain by hanging myself out in my work shop -
I set the date of January 6th -

I set up the rope and got everything ready
because there was Many days that I was just to sick to even stand up or walk at all -

I called my parents and told them that at some point I was just going to have to end all
of this pain -

Before I got sick I had a IQ of 160 and had started 3 business and always had a couple of thousand dollars in my pocket -

By the time I had Promised myself to endure
just One more year of pain I was pennyless
and the state was going to take my house away
because I owed 3 years of back taxes-

All of my cloths were just rags and the shoes I was wearing I found at a bus stop-

I had lost Everything- my Kids my wife-
and everything I had worked very hard to get-

I had to run off All of my friends because
I did not want them to see me
as I was withering away -

My IQ was about 50 and I would just walk
around in circles in my room because I could not
remember what I was just going to do-

I would only leave my home about 4 hours a month
when I had to go to the store to get a bag of 42 cent pot pies because it was all I could afford to buy and had the mental focus to cook --

Before I got sick I raced Motocross in the 250 Expert class for many years and won a trophy
in All but 3 races I ever did because my bike broke down -

At the age of 23 I arm wrestled the worlds
champion on TV - I lost but that was the
only time I was ever beaten

3 years ago I was so sick I could not even stand up long enough to brush my teeth so I lost 4 of my back teeth- One of which I had to pull my self-

Now 3 years and 30 day later I am up running around -I ride my bicycle 15 miles aday-

I started a new company and am making some money
selling something I designed on Ebay-

Im not making big money now but I did it once before so I can do it again--

My IQ most likely will never get back to where it was but thats OK -

I getting ready to shoot a movie that I wrote in my mind threw the years while
wrenching around in pain while laying in bed-

I still have a bad day every so often but
I am totally pain free and have a
perty high energy level-

A few months ago I had to watch my Mom die from
cancer -- the doctors had given her Zero chance
of getting threw it and she was in Horrible pain-

The night she died I had made up my mind that I was going to give her a lethal dose of morphine
because I knew what she was go threw-

She sure did not deserve to be put
threw all of this over living a few more days-

Luckily she died before I had to do this-
My Mom had a Great life and Truly lived the
American Dream --

The dissension to take Your life is up to You-

But let me tell you that with Good treatment-
A Positive attitude and some Luck you can
get threw this and have Many years of
Life Love and Fun to enjoy --Jay-- [/qb]

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Posts: 2905 | From New England | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged |