Either you will know what I am talking about or not would be my guess.
I have bad mental/cognitive/psychological symptoms. One of this worst is a dark, black feeling that makes me think that I can't do anything, even though my body is capable.
It is like a dark weight in my head. Do you know what I am talking about?
Is there a good name for that? It comes and goes. When I started treatment it went away. Now since I changed my protocol it is with me pretty much all the time.
I call it agitation, but I was wondering if anyone had a better term for it.
Also, I have been trying to see if taking Ativan will help relieve it. I think it helps, but I don't know.
I would like to hear from others who had this and how they endured it through treatment. I know many of you don't believe in using Ativan/xanax, etc. but it is the only way I have gotten through this so far.
Has this gone away with treatment. Did you use klonopin/xanax or the like?
I think Clarissa who was on here mentioned having to use a lot of xanax to make through bart treatment.
Thanks, Kathy
-------------------- Severe neurological problems. Probably sick for years. Became chronically sick in Aug 2007. Undiagnosed for another 15 months. Started treatment for lyme and bart Sept. 2008. Improving, but very slowly. Posts: 515 | From washington dc | Registered: Aug 2008
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I really am not sure if I have the dark weight but I get this cloud of funk where I dont want anyone near me.
I am such a social bug but now I would rather sit in the house then deal with anyone. I bite peoples' heads off for no reason.
I do know for the most part when it is coming so I try to protect the innocent from me as much as possible.
I havent been treated yet so I can relate with abx. However, when the docs where blindly treating me they put me on ativan and klonopin. That did abate some of the symptoms.
However, I became HIGHLY addicted to them. Then to add fuel to the fire, I was drinking alot. Not to say you will become addicted but they are addictive pills so please be careful. I became dependant on them. Withdrawls from klonopin are very dangerous, I had to go to rehab to get detoxed and monitered.
Geez, I didnt mean to tell you and everyone my sob story with benzos. I hope someone can help you and relate to what you are going through.
I hope you get better!!!
Posts: 171 | From the land of oz | Registered: Feb 2009
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lymeHerx001
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6215
posted
got this from doxy, everyting looked evil and sick. Everything looked like death.
Also anti fungals make me this way.
Posts: 2905 | From New England | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
Thanks for the replies lyemHerx001- Does it go away after a while?
JaimieB - I know they are highly addictive, but I am on a very low dose and my doctor told me that we can deal with it later. I have to sleep and make it through my days.
Would love any other thoughts.
-------------------- Severe neurological problems. Probably sick for years. Became chronically sick in Aug 2007. Undiagnosed for another 15 months. Started treatment for lyme and bart Sept. 2008. Improving, but very slowly. Posts: 515 | From washington dc | Registered: Aug 2008
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lymeHerx001
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6215
posted
Cant take doxy because of it. Im taking Biaxin instead.
The doxy made have these dark uncontrollable thoughts, one after another like train wrecks, fires, bloody messes, murdurs, on and on evil satanic sick things! Its as if they were popping into my head. People looked like dead corpses walking around. Nothing was attractive. Even a flower looked like a poison spear, it looked evil.
I am not exagerating here. It was horrible!
I think its from the brain swelling.
I would take some benadryll and advil and hope for the best.
Posts: 2905 | From New England | Registered: Sep 2004
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lymeHerx001
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6215
posted
By the way, my LLMD didnt believe in me taking benzos, but let me say, they are the most help so far.
You cant heal if your in a stressed state. And I do believe that bezos do help to heal the brain to some extent.
Our brains are flipping out as it is. The benefits totally outweight the risks.
Posts: 2905 | From New England | Registered: Sep 2004
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METALLlC BLUE
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6628
posted
I know exactly what you're talking about. It's depression from the illness itself. Biological -- probably inflammation or vasculitis.
-------------------- I am not a physician, so do your own research to confirm any ideas given and then speak with a health care provider you trust.
-------------------- Severe neurological problems. Probably sick for years. Became chronically sick in Aug 2007. Undiagnosed for another 15 months. Started treatment for lyme and bart Sept. 2008. Improving, but very slowly. Posts: 515 | From washington dc | Registered: Aug 2008
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I actually had this early on. I was in fear that I could not do anything. I had this restlessness and would pace. Then it got worse when I went on Zithro, mepron, and IV doxy.
The dread and darkness was really evil and I cried alot as I could not control it. It crushed me in a horrible way. I went off all of it and up'd lexapro.
I am on 2 orals and lexapro and the evilness is definitely less noticable and controllable if i get it.
I too have the derealization.
My LLMD believes in the seratonin factor with depression/anxiety and feels the lyme hinders production.
I hope you get relief.
Kindly, Barb
Posts: 167 | From USA | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
This is a tough on because on my other treatment I didn't have this evil anymore, but I am not sure how much better I was getting.
On my new treatment, I am thinking clearer and feeling more present - less derealization. So I guess I should endure it somehow.
-------------------- Severe neurological problems. Probably sick for years. Became chronically sick in Aug 2007. Undiagnosed for another 15 months. Started treatment for lyme and bart Sept. 2008. Improving, but very slowly. Posts: 515 | From washington dc | Registered: Aug 2008
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METALLlC BLUE
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6628
posted
I use Lamictal and Buproprion to control the changes in mood and perception. Taking care of the infections is obviously critical but there is no reason to suffer if symptomatic treatment can bring relief.
-------------------- I am not a physician, so do your own research to confirm any ideas given and then speak with a health care provider you trust.
posted
lpkayak - right there with you on the sort of suicidal. That was last week. That is gone. this week is just the "dark feeling" as I call it.
Didn't have it this morning. Took my meds (I pulise so its a med day). We shall see how long I go before it arrives.
Mine isn't related directly to the pills as yesterday was a no pill day and I was feeling dark!
-------------------- Severe neurological problems. Probably sick for years. Became chronically sick in Aug 2007. Undiagnosed for another 15 months. Started treatment for lyme and bart Sept. 2008. Improving, but very slowly. Posts: 515 | From washington dc | Registered: Aug 2008
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
it took 12 hrs for the feeling to clear...but a herx is really a strong symptom sometimes-right?
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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quote:Originally posted by venus: I have bad mental/cognitive/psychological symptoms....It comes and goes. When I started treatment it went away. Now since I changed my protocol it is with me pretty much all the time.
Venus, What meds are you currently on? I think some meds or med combos can probably cause congnitive and psychological issues.
What was your prior treatment protocol? I am interested to learn which meds generally help mental/cognitive symptoms and which worsen these issues. Getting feedback on your curent vs prior protocol should also help you and your LLMD determine what works best for you.
Also, have you recently added or changed any non-lyme medications or herbs and supplements? You just never know what reactions cetain combos of meds, herbs, etc will have on the body and mind. Again, sharing this info may help you determine what, if anything, you can alter in your protocol to help you with these issues.
Posts: 29 | From USA | Registered: Feb 2009
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