posted
This just happened to me, and it has happened a couple of times before, always when my Lyme pain was flaring up.
A friend did something minor that upset me, that usually would not have been a big deal, and yesterday I kept crying repeatedly all day.
I kept fearing that all my friends were going to desert me. The emotions or hormones, or whatever it is, also made me feel particulary irritated and angry toward my friend over a minor misunderstanding that was easily cleared up.
Something just like that has happened to me twice since I had Lyme, with different friends and a relative.
Somebody got a little angry with me or offended me slightly, and I got hurt and angry and paranoid and couldn't stop crying for days, accompanied by Lyme pain or fatigue.
Yesterday, I took a nap, which usually calms down my Lyme symptoms, and in fact I felt physically and mentally better for a couple of hours afterwards, and then it came back.
This morning, the Lyme pain is gone, and so is the crying and the paranoia. I feel completely fine again. I suddenly have my usual confidence that my friends are still friendly.
I hate this, and it makes me think I'm going nuts, because I can't make it go away at the time when it's happening, and I don't trust my own emotions, to know what is Lyme and what is my real feelings.
What if I get that again, which I will, and I alienate all my friends and don't have any left?
By the way, these emotional and physical Lyme flares always correspond with PMS and go away in 2 to 4 days.
To paraphrase what someone else said somewhere on the board recently, if I tell them it's from my illness, they'll discount my real feelings.
If I don't tell them my illness causes this, they'll think I'm crazy and paranoid.
If I try to hide it, but it shows a little, they'll think I'm making it up.
Is this a symptom other people get, and if so have you found any way to control it? Or should I just go hibernate in a cave and avoid everyone whenever it hits me?
I need to keep my friends.
-------------------- Don't forget to laugh! And when you're going through hell, keep going!
Bitten 5/25/2009 in Perry County, Indiana. Diagnosed by LLMD 12/2/2009. Posts: 756 | From Inside the tunnel | Registered: Jan 2010
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
Yes, I remember the crying days. I was so toxic from my world. Felt hopelessnss in those days. I'm glad that's gone.
Consider it a detox program. Seriously. But please do things that help with depression.
Pam
PS: don't waste energy(precious) trying to make your friends and family understand. This is one situation where one truly must live it to understand it.
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6495 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- I recall those days of crying, years ago. Here is what helped me:
Be sure that you have no artificial sweeteners at all, no MSG (google for names); and no dyes or other artificial stuff in your food, at all. WATER, Green Tea or herbal teas should be your only beverage choices and they will serve you well.
If you are on any drugs for mood, sometimes, those have the opposite effect since they can be toxic to the liver.
Liver support is vital to being able to balance mood. A toxic liver affects mood tremendously. Milk Thistle is the most common support and protector.
A gluten-free diet will help for reasons far too numerous for me to list.
And get enough good protein all throughout the day.
Adrenal support - and support for your central nervous system will help a lot. Cordyceps is the basic one here.
Magnesium is vital. What is you current level of magnesium and what form?
Fish oil, B-vitamins, good multi-vitamin are also vital.
Sleep - are you getting enough?
Gotu Kola should also really help.
And, of course, all above is complementary. Infection(s) must be adequately addressed.
Nutritional Supplements in Disseminated Lyme Disease
J.J. Burrascano, Jr., MD (2008)
Four pages
====================
A Lyme Literate counselor or therapist may be very helpful - not just to talk things out but also for instruction on how to handle all this and shifting language and thoughts so that all seems more objective.
I'd also just avoid situations if you don't feel strong enough right now. You body may not have the strength to deal with complex interpersonal communication. But counseling will give you some new skills so that it's not so hard on you.
Ask your LLMD for a recommendation - or your support group might be able to give you a few names.
===========
And then we have MUSIC THERAPY. More than any other kind of music, Mozart has a very unique healing effect on our neurological system. Listening to music you enjoy is always helpful when you have the energy for that.
In addition, if you can listen to one hour of Mozart a day, things will change with your neuro-connections and emotional strength. If you have no Mozart there, the library will have lots. One wonderful thing about Mozart, as opposed to many other classical composers, is that he never "dumped" bad mood or anger into his music. It's all very stable, mood wise - very uplifting but also settling.
If you enjoy any sort of art -or playing or learning a musical instrument - anything creative can also help the brain heal damage from infection. -
[ 02-16-2010, 03:47 PM: Message edited by: Keebler ]
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
Thank you for all those ideas, Keebler, and thanks for the encouragement, Map.
I hadn't thought about maybe more detox helping. It feels more physical than mental, so that makes sense to me.
I know more sleep would help. Did I say this happened yesterday? It happened on Sunday. Yesterday I slept most of the day, and felt improved, and today I feel fine.
My diet is pretty good and improving, mostly avoiding sugar, flour and artificial sweeteners, and I am taking a multivitamin, fish oil, milk thistle, vitamin C and vitamin D3 on the recommendation of my LLMD.
I mean to ask my LLMD about magnesium and B vitamins and other detox recommendations at my next appt. in 3 weeks.
I take epsom salt baths when I can, and have started drinking lemonade made from the juice of a whole lemon along with liquid stevia and filtered water or club soda. I drink decaf green tea several times a day.
I am not on any antidepressants. I am a happy and optimistic person and have been fortunate to never struggle with depression. My life is much happier and less stressful than it once was, and I consider myself fortunate, even in spite of Lyme.
When I describe myself as feeling "depressed," it is a gloomy or despairing feeling that comes along for a few hours or days, and then goes away again. It also includes the tendency to get angry and hurt and generally have my emotions zooming all over the place.
I think it mostly physical rather than mental in origin, and seems foreign to me. I am not sure that the usual kinds of things that help address mental issues--therapy, talking with friends for support, etc. would help much, in the short time it lasts.
I will definitely try playing music next time, and will be happy to look into all suggestions already mentioned or that anyone else has to offer.
Part of the trouble is establishing just how much of this is a Lyme symptom, so it helps a lot just to hear that others have gone through something similar.
And that it was a "stage" for you that has passed.
-------------------- Don't forget to laugh! And when you're going through hell, keep going!
Bitten 5/25/2009 in Perry County, Indiana. Diagnosed by LLMD 12/2/2009. Posts: 756 | From Inside the tunnel | Registered: Jan 2010
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
i know it may sound strange but i had crying spells so bad i'd stand and cry in the shower. i mean literally just squall.
i started closing the bathroom door, lighting candles, mood music, epsom salts and just relaxing. 30 minutes or so.
it seemed to help.
i'm sorry you're going through this.
and yes, it did pass, now i can feel down, but i have no tears left.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Yes, it's a stage for me that has passed. I'm still very ill but I rarely cry anymore. What helped was incorporating all the things I listed above AND also some cognitive training - I simply had to adjust what I thought I had been promised in this world. It's a journey.
I don't try to convince anyone of anything and just don't seek anyone's approval. But, I'm also very isolated and, while that does not thrill me, it's the only way I can manage until I get even better.
You said: "Part of the trouble is establishing just how much of this is a Lyme symptom . . " end quote.
Ohhhh, yes, indeed. While this can happen with other infections, the lyme toxin seems to really wreak havoc but the damage to the HPA (hypothalamus/pituitary/adrenal axis) can make us much more emotionally sensitive. And, remember that communication is hard work.
But as for your thoughts and emotions, you have to be able to remove - or reframe - those hair-trigger feelings from all this so that you just don't melt. Keep your interactions as simple as possible for a while. In that sleep thread are all sorts of things to help your adrenal system.
Rather than the idea of "detoxing" as that can sometimes involve harsh methods that stress the liver, be sure you are gentle but consistent.
You will need both the actions that gently facilitate your body's ability to detox (warm- not hot bath with epson salts, massage, gentle walking, etc.) and then also the support supplements to directly help and protect your liver. It's a two-step of sorts. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
yes I have had really bad days of just crying and still do. I notice that either sleeping or pulling myself up off the couch and doing something, no matter how small, makes me feel better.
Its hard though.
Posts: 594 | From NJ/NY | Registered: Jun 2006
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Oh, and don't forget dark chocolate.
VERY dark 85 % - just one ounce with nuts or a meal - or cocoa powder with a dash of stevia in whatever kind of milk.
As my computer screen just seemed to do a flip-flop, I'm reminded that for those lyme patients with vestibular symptoms (I am typing very slowly now so my brain can stay on track - and that, too, is a coping skill for when you feel overwhelmed. Just Slow down if you find it hard to think or process. You can also just stop, rest, regroup.).
I was going to explain my reason for posting links below, but my battery is running low. Basically, If inner ear is connected, mood is very hard to maintain:
So sorry that so many others have gone through this too. But that is reassuring me that it really is a Lyme symptom.
Maybe I should leave myself a note on the refrigerator or something,
so that next time I find myself wondering what I could possibly have done to make all my friends suddenly mad at me for no apparent reason,
it'll say, "Hello? It's the Lyme."
-------------------- Don't forget to laugh! And when you're going through hell, keep going!
Bitten 5/25/2009 in Perry County, Indiana. Diagnosed by LLMD 12/2/2009. Posts: 756 | From Inside the tunnel | Registered: Jan 2010
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Or - that you might just need some space and some rest.
You friends might be mad at you for a variety of reasons, but you can assess your communication style and that might improve your relationships - first with yourself and then - with others.
This book is a wonderful tool for interpersonal communication. You can get it from your library, your local bookstore or here at Amazon:
posted
Regarding communication, ordinarily getting along with people and communicating well are strengths of mine.
It's like, when I get in the grip of this emotional monster, I become someone else and don't recognize my own personality.
Hey, I wonder if Dr. Jekyll actually had Lyme disease?
-------------------- Don't forget to laugh! And when you're going through hell, keep going!
Bitten 5/25/2009 in Perry County, Indiana. Diagnosed by LLMD 12/2/2009. Posts: 756 | From Inside the tunnel | Registered: Jan 2010
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
I love caller ID. I can always call someone back later. In fact, they were better off not talking to me during those days.
This is your time to reflect and find you. Later you will be amazed when you realize some of your family and friends are toxic to you. You aren't going to change these people. You must change how you allow these people to reflect on you.
Yes, other people can be toxic. That's when you might have to make some major discisions for your well being. Toxic people=less time for them.
If you don't understand that thinking today, you might some day.
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6495 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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That is a very good point, about the toxic people.
I used to be married to one, so I know. I won't have them around me any more.
This is like the effect of a toxic person, but coming from people who are perfectly warm and supportive the rest of the time.
It feels just like getting ganged up on and bullied, like kids do in junior high.
I still haven't quite figured out whether I get cranky and do something to make people angry with me, or I just overreact to something harmless from them and concoct the impression that they are angry.
Or maybe they weren't angry until after I got prickly from feeling like they were attacking me, and they got mad because they didn't know why I got prickly for no apparent reason.
Sometimes it sort of makes me wonder whether I am the toxic person.
Except today it is gone, and I am perfectly nice again as usual. Really. I am calm and sweet and I get along with everybody. (Well, except for my ex-husband, but he's been history for a decade.)
It seems there is always a misunderstanding involved in these incidents, but it is generally other people misunderstanding me rather than vice versa.
So I get stuck with the bewildered and shell-shocked feeling that nice, stable, mature, caring people have suddenly turned against me out of the blue.
But today I'm fine, and my friends understand me and are nice again, and they can't understand why I thought they were angry.
The first time, I thought it was my friends' problem, but a similar episode has happened to me now with three different sets of people.
Must be me then, huh?
But now I am convinced that it is due to the hormonal mess from the Lyme flares, not that my loved ones are evil and plotting against me, or that I am actually paranoid.
Of course I will SOUND crazy if I try to explain all this to a non-Lyme person.
-------------------- Don't forget to laugh! And when you're going through hell, keep going!
Bitten 5/25/2009 in Perry County, Indiana. Diagnosed by LLMD 12/2/2009. Posts: 756 | From Inside the tunnel | Registered: Jan 2010
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posted
Thanks for all the honest discussion here. I also have high mercury so all of this is even harder to endure and deal with.
But have you ever heard of someone being uninvited to thanksgiving? My sister uninvited me and then my other sister and mom all had thanksgiving dinner without me my son and husband. No reason given at the time. I was devastated. Later I got a letter from each which hurt even more. My dad has been supportive though.
I am new to my Lyme diagnosis. My doctor doesn't know how to treat it, so I am searching for answers. Enough for now.
Posts: 31 | From Southwestern Ohio | Registered: Feb 2010
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bejoy
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11129
posted
A little biochemistry here: One of the lyme toxins is ammonia. For anyone with neuro lyme, in the brain, this means ammonia on the brain.
Take a sniff of ammonia and see what you feel like. Now try living inside the bottle. This is the source of much of the lyme rage.
The body uses the natural chemical BH4 tetrahydrobiopterin to remove ammonia. It also uses this natural chemical to make serotonin.
Preference goes to removing ammonia, rather than to making serotonin. Low serotonin means you become a chocolate mess.
Suggestions are:
Take BH4 if you can get it from out of the country. If you find a good source let me know. It's pricey and not available in the US due to pharma companies lobbying for control. It is available in the US only as patented drug Kuvan for those diagnosed with PKU.
For lymies with high ammonia, BH4 can be like a miracle drug. Wow, what a difference in mood! Careful, it draws ammonia out, and you have to quickly increase the dose within a couple of days, or you can tank worse than before.
Take Jernigans Neuro-Antitox II Basic, an herbal formula for ammonia and toxin removal. (I don't sell it. Look on their website.)
Take an SSRI antidepressant like Cymbalta to keep as much serotonin in your system as you can while you detox lyme.
-------------------- bejoy!
"Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." -Ralph Waldo Emerson Posts: 1918 | From Alive and Well! | Registered: Feb 2007
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- To clarify my suggestion for "I'm OK; You're OK" - when we are ill, it seems common to fall into the "child" place and others take the "adult" role. You have to be able to identify when that happens so the "adult-adult" dynamic can be reestablished.
But, whether well or ill, around certain relatives we seem to often fall back into that "child-parent" dynamic. But when friends do this, it really rocks the boat and prevents adult relationships.
I know, with myself, I've fallen down in self-esteem if they did not understand what I'm going through. That would sometimes drop me down to the "child-parent" interaction with even a stranger - or with a doctor. Especially with non-LL doctors.
Once I saw that some people want to bully others - assuming the "parent" role them self and the delegating "child" role for others, it helped me see that the problem was not just with me. I could then more easily understand - and also get out of their way or even drop them from my circle.
The material in this book can also help one see if even the tone of voice they use puts them in the "victim" or "sufferer" role - although I don't think they use the term there.
Even if ill, and even if in pain and suffering, we can still be strong in our personality and insist on the "adult - adult" interactions. Life is too short to put up with those who want to bully or manipulate others. Finding that balance in how we function - and in those we want to be around - is hard work but well worth it. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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lymebytes
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11830
posted
I have cried more w/LD than my entire life combined.
And as far as friends, I have found through this illness that the best friends are those walking in while the rest are walking out.
seekhelp
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 15067
posted
I've never cried at all with this illness. It numbed me really. No emotions.
Posts: 7545 | From The 5th Dimension - The Twilight Zone | Registered: Mar 2008
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posted
Thank you all so much for the support, ideas, and sharing your experiences.
I feel so much better now.
Keebler, thanks for the summary of the book. When I said "OK" before, I was just making a pun on the title.
That makes a lot of sense about adult/child and bullying and putting yourself in the "victim" role or letting people put you there. That is not a role I am normally willing to think of myself as being in, but I felt like I was, during this incident.
Thanks so much for helping me.
-------------------- Don't forget to laugh! And when you're going through hell, keep going!
Bitten 5/25/2009 in Perry County, Indiana. Diagnosed by LLMD 12/2/2009. Posts: 756 | From Inside the tunnel | Registered: Jan 2010
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sutherngrl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16270
posted
Yes, I have had times where I cry for what seems to be no apparent reason other than I'm just emotional. No one knows I cry though. Well...except you guys; no one in my family. They all think I am doing great emotionally. I put up a good front.
I also have times where I feel very numb and almost no emotions at all.
Its all very bizarre!
Posts: 4035 | From Mississippi | Registered: Jul 2008
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gwb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7273
posted
Last year I started crying frequently and my emotions were going up and down for no reason. Not normal for this 56 year old guy. This past November and and December I was crying almost every other day and some days uncontrollably.
I think it might have been because of the holidays and also because I sensed that I was not going to live much longer. I was at rock bottom, more than ever before with this disease. I was not only suffering physically, but emotionally and mentally as well.
In January, after I started on alternative treatments and began getting better, everything changed and my emotions began to stabilize and my mental condition got better. One of the products I took is the same one that bejoy mentioned in her post, Jernigans Neuro-Antitox II. It really works to get the ammonia out of your brain http://abc.eznettools.net/jernigannutraceuticals/Neuro-Antitox2.html
By the way, if your crying alienates your friends, then they aren't really your friends to begin with. Friends will understand and be compassionate and supportive. That's why we have each other here on Lymenet! Posts: 1349 | From OK | Registered: May 2005
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posted
To clarify, nobody has seen me cry, except once when I burst out crying at my parents' dinner table. (That was interesting to explain...)
I have felt like I was crying because I thought that I had alienated my friends, or I was in danger of losing them and didn't know why.
But the crying may be just chemistry, and my mind just tries to find a reason for it and latches onto the last thing that happened before it started. Or maybe any emotional type incident that happens at the right time might set it off.
I have not had any friends reject me because I was crying, thank goodness. I have admitted it to a couple of friends, but I haven't let anybody see me that way because I don't want to cause them distress.
If somebody did see me cry and did not respond with compassion, that is not somebody I would need for a friend.
I am actually blessed with some pretty fantastic friends and relatives. I'm pretty sure most of them will stick with me even if they do think I'm nuts. So it's okay if they don't completely understand the whole Lyme thing.
Objectively (now that I'm myself again and can think straight), a number of them have been especially understanding, or tried their best to be, despite having no experience with Lyme.
You've all given me good ideas of things to try or to ask my LLMD about in a couple of weeks. I will try to recognize this symptom for what it is, next time it comes around. Always catches me off guard.
-------------------- Don't forget to laugh! And when you're going through hell, keep going!
Bitten 5/25/2009 in Perry County, Indiana. Diagnosed by LLMD 12/2/2009. Posts: 756 | From Inside the tunnel | Registered: Jan 2010
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Haley
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 22008
posted
I can't say that I cry but I do understand the feelings of fear etc.. I want to point out one thing you said:
By the way, these emotional and physical Lyme flares always correspond with PMS and go away in 2 to 4 days.
I recently went to a well known LLMD. The first thing he asked me is do your symptoms get worse around your period. The answer is absolutely yes. I have never in my life had PMS. In fact, I always thought the idea of PMS made women look weak and thought it was ridiculous.
When I got Lyme (I didn't know I had it until 1 1/2 years later) I was having all these tests for hormones because I noticed how terrible I felt around my period. The few times I ended up in the ER it was also that time of the month. Physical symptoms as well as feelings of fear.
I am commenting on this because today I was feeling so fearful and thinking some of the same thoughts you mention. I thought what is wrong with me? Is my Lyme getting worse? I looked at the calander and sure enough it is exactly that time.
I didn't get a chance to ask my new LLMD why this is. If I can get into see him again I'll ask.
Posts: 2232 | From USA | Registered: Aug 2009
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
Keebler, I read some articles on that Human Side of Lyme site. Wow, according to Dr. Sherr, it sounds like this kind of thing is actually very common with Lyme.
I'm definitely planning to ask my doctor about this and post an update.
Hugs,
Light
-------------------- Don't forget to laugh! And when you're going through hell, keep going!
Bitten 5/25/2009 in Perry County, Indiana. Diagnosed by LLMD 12/2/2009. Posts: 756 | From Inside the tunnel | Registered: Jan 2010
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posted
I talked to a couple of friends and my mother about discovering that this has been a Lyme symptom all along, and they were all very kind and compassionate about it.
I really do have some terrific friends. And family.
They had all noticed my unusually agitated state when I talked to them, even though they didn't see me crying, but they didn't know what was going on with me or why I was acting so strange.
I told them, if they notice me acting out of character and overly emotional again, to just ask me if I'm having a bad Lyme day, and they said they will.
I will know if I'm having physical Lyme symptoms. Maybe I can make the leap then, and remember about the emotional ones.
If I can just recognize what it is the next time it happens, maybe I won't take it out on my loved ones and I won't blame myself.
Now I'll start working on a list of all the physical and mental "cheer up and calm down" things I can try next time, or before next time, to be ready for it.
I really feel great today, emotionally speaking. And newly assured of the loyalty of my understanding friends, so there's a bright side.
-------------------- Don't forget to laugh! And when you're going through hell, keep going!
Bitten 5/25/2009 in Perry County, Indiana. Diagnosed by LLMD 12/2/2009. Posts: 756 | From Inside the tunnel | Registered: Jan 2010
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