Topic: Does anyone get totally overwhelmed/stressed by the smallest of things?
Tracy9
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7521
posted
I am mentally motivated but physically unable to follow through with anything. I also get mentally overwhelmed when I try to do things...I guess because I know physically I can't do it. It's so frustrating because I want to get my house and life freaking organized and I am stuck in quicksand; still needing to be laying down most of the time!
Still, any type of stress overwhelms my whole system and makes me feel like I am going to short circuit; even a phone call, a piece of mail...something I have to deal with, a dental or doctor appt even sometimes. It's getting a little better though. But I hate this, I get this feeling in my chest, like "short circuit, short circuit." The stress is going to overwhelm me. I feel like I should be able to do things that I can't or don't want to do!
An example is today I called to refill my son's scripts and the pharmacy said his Medicaid had been cancelled. Panic. The old me would immediately call our worker and get it fixed. But no. Hand phone to hubby because I feel that feeling in my chest that my equilibrium is going to topple over if I have to make the call. Anyone get this?
I should be able to be listing things on ebay, or doing more of the stuff that doesn't take physical work. It still feels too stressful and overwhelming though! It's like my whole system is in it's infant stages, relearning everything. I feel like I hit my absolute bottom when I started Bart treatment. I have never been so totally and completely incapactitated in my life. Now I am slowly, ever so slowly, crawling back to life....like I have to relearn everything.
13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
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I know what your talking about, everything seems such a big thing, I am behind on bills, paperwork, taxes,transfering my prescriptions to a new pharmacy I have to do one by one because I cant organise what i have or when i will need to refill so I do it all as needed.
cant get my head around sorting things out seems like it is spiralling out of control, house is a mess aswell...
I get 0-100 in frustration/irritation in seconds when i cant manage something....
I plan on asking my new LLMD this week......
dont have an answer but wanted you to know your not alone.........
-------------------- Oct 09 Positive CDC Western Blot Jan 10 Positive Babesia Duncani Jan 10 Cd57 28 Mar 10 EBV, IgM, IgG HHV-6 IgG Posts: 739 | From NC | Registered: Oct 2009
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I feel exactly the way you feel. Talking on the phone can feel like it's literally going kill me some days. Overwhelmed for absolutely no reason. It's scary.
It's been a problem of mine for a long time, and I haven't been able to stay on bart abx since it's so scary mentally and physically!
I think my load is down from natural and slow treatment because I was actually able to ride on Jetskis with my father at 4th of July and I was even able to light and watch some big fireworks at the lake.
I did feel a bit overwhelmed after riding, but it's a huge step as I haven't been able to ride those things in years as I felt like I was going to keel over from all the stimulation (no pun intended).
The feeling of doom is the hardest part for me. And it's makes it harder that anxiety drugs don't work well (they do help but I developed tolerance). While most people are looking for a cup of coffee in the morning, sadly, the first thing I take when I was up is my tranquilizers. Mornings have always been the most difficult even before the anxiety drugs.
I used to handle caffeine fine. In fact, I honestly didn't notice any effects from it even if I were to drink a few energy drinks (very bad for you, I know). Everything changed overnight when I got sick and suddenly couldn't handle caffeine or alcohol.
I also occasionally get adrenaline pumping full blown rage that turns into hyperventilation over literally nothing sometimes. This can come out when the overwhelming feeling lasts many days and can be triggered by something mildly irritating to the point that my family has no clue what I am so upset about. It's like I am suddenly a monster. It's weird, scary for me and everyone else, and I hate it.
Does anyone else get this? It's really hard to have true self control sometimes and I do recognize that it's a problem.
Posts: 967 | From A deserted island without internet access | Registered: Sep 2009
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sparkle7
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posted
I know exactly what you mean. I'm not sure if it's because life is more complicated or that we are physically ill & it's debilitating.
May be both? Try to take some time out & meditate. It helps. Also, kava kava helped me to be less anxious. Maybe, sit down & make a list of stuff to do. Don't feel bad if you don't get to everything.
I used to be an ambitious person who liked taking risks & doing new things... "Stuff" really sets me off these days. I had to let so much go - it's hard to figure out out to get back into the swing of things again.
Someone told me a long time ago.... "one step at a time".
Posts: 7772 | From Northeast, again... | Registered: Oct 2006
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
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- I wish we had all been given an "owner's manual" to understand what all goes kaput with lyme/TBD (tick-borne infections). The article below comes closest to explaining why I simply can't deal anymore. My character and personality can be well balanced but my brain and body just can't take any stress.
Adrenal support helps a lot as does magnesium and other support measure. Still, it's been very helpful to me to realize that this just is the way lyme/TBD works - my body IS changed. For now. My original "owner's manual" is no longer in effect.
Much has to do with the chronic encephalopathy - &/or encephalomyolitis. Basically, brain swelling.
Add to that the adrenal dysfunction. The inner ear dysfunction also contributes (from either the inner ear itself or the cranial nerve swelling &/or the way lyme can destroy the protective sheath around the nerves - the mylein sheath).
I have learned to accept myself. I expect less of myself, too, which makes the ego part of me just horrified at times to "settle" but then along comes the compassionate self is saying "there, there . . . this will get better."
If one is not split personalty before lyme . . . well, just trying to figure out how best to manage the constraints can certainly fracture what I used to think was a pretty much together woman. I've not gone bonkers yet but holding down my formerly exuberant persona and exchanging that for a more mellow gate-keeper has not been easy. But, unless I can stay mellow, I know I just don't have a chance. Unless I can accept that, for now, I AM just on a different planet (so to speak), I just won't make it.
This is just the tip of the icebergs that sink many lyme/TBD patients: --------------------
. . . Attempts to indulge avocational or vocational pursuits is frequently interdicted by either the languor of Lyme or by encephalopathy. . . .
. . . impairment of concentration, inattention, easy confusion or disorientation when attempting intellectual tasks. . . .
. . . Lyme patients can be easily irritated by anyone just walking into the same room even though eye contact is never made or words exchanged. . . .
. . . Incidentally, hyperaccusis (sound sensitivity) can be a feature of VII neuritis. . . .
. . . Eye related problems in LD are commonplace . . . .
. . . disorganization, an inability to follow a train of thought . . . .
. . . Others forgot how to spell even simple words, how to read or must re-read with varying degrees of comprehension. One patient drove to Philadelphia instead of the desired Princeton destination because the initial letters were identical and confused him.
After shopping for groceries, another patient placed her shoes in the refrigerator and stored the food in the clothes closet.
Lyme patients can lose their way home or on the way to work, bypassing otherwise familiar exits or plain forgetting where they are in time and space or how they got there. This is known as topographical disorientation or environmental agnosia. . . . -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
keebler brought up "owner's manual". I wish my job is only writing the manual and someone will take it from there.
Do any of you feel even if you are given a manual, you still can't follow the simple instruction like "eat you meal at 12 and then take medicine in the container I organized at 1" or "drink lemon water I made in the jar throughout the day" or "exercise only on Mon, Wed, and Fri"? I find myself constantly say "Oh, no, you had done exercise yesterday and you are not supposed to do any today. Today is a Tuesday, remember?" or "You took the medicine that's on the slot for 7pm? It's only 4pm." Like someone has an empty shell of head but there is nothing in it.
If not yet, congratulate yourself because that's where my wife is. Given she is on heavy meds, plus all the detox she has to do, plus supplement, she has a very complicated schedule (not by normal standard but by her). She is on a clock every 2 hours "taking this and then that" schedule from 6am to 10pm. While I am not able to sit next to her all day long, she hits and misses no matter what plan I have come up with. I have come to a conclusion, unless she qualifies for a home healthy aid and has someone babysit her 24 hours, she is not gonna make it... Posts: 822 | From midwest | Registered: Apr 2009
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
Find everything you can that he has written. He's brilliant and so very much in tune with what lyme is all about. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
I can't believe I just ran into this post. I just had what I call an "episode". I've been wanting to post something like this but just cant find the energy, its just so draining as i'm sure all of you understand.
when it starts i can tell its coming now. before i was diagnosed/treated with what i believe is lyme/bartonella- given my symptoms, and who knows what else.
i have this growing anxiety in the pit of my stomach and it just intensifies. usually something triggers me and its hard to come back. something little- something that wouldnt bother me if i was feeling 'alright'.
then i cry, i have outbursts of rage, i throw things, i tell people i love off, you name it. irrational reactions. and then its so overwhelming to try and convince the person i just told off that this isn't me. and it's almost like a seizure, i dont know how to control it.
i also get very sweaty, start hyperventilating, and feel out of control and sometimes a horrible headache. its almost like i feel like ill never feel normal again when im going through it
and then bam. it's gone. i calm down and i'm okay. maybe some residual irritation but i'm ok. huh. how frustrating.
no positive tests yet. clinical diagnosis and on abx since february
Posts: 62 | From Perth Amboy NJ | Registered: Jun 2010
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Tracy9
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7521
posted
OMG, you guys ROCK. Florence, you described me to a T!!!! And everyone else in between, too.
And again, Keebler, you absolutely saved me again this week! Everything you wrote is EXACTLY how I feel, and everything you describe fits all the reasons that make sense. I feel a lot better.
I have been telling myself for a long time now, I'll get there. It is so helpful to have some ideas, besides just Bart treatment in general, why I am this way now.
For instance, I just can't seem to make dinner. I have not cooked in years. I love to cook. The fact that it used to be so simple amazes me now. I mean, I literally cannot get past step one and put together even a simple meal. I just don't understand this. Luckily my kids are old enough and used to making themselves something, or my husband makes something.
I have recently been able to make "something", though, but not a meal. Like, over the weekend, in anticipation of company, I made brownies one day. The next day I made potato salad. Well, that took two days. I boiled the potatoes and eggs one day, put them in the fridge, actually Blake had to cut them all up, then I made the dressing and mixed it up.
That's as far as I can go. I can sometimes make one thing. This is huge progress for me. I cannot stress enough how the former "me" could pull off an entire party or cookout completely by myself without blinking an eye, with every attention to detail, perfect presentation, etc...right down to Jello shots and virgin frozen strawberry daiquiris for kids.
Ugh. My arms cannot hold up long enough to cut up the potatoes. I feel overwhelmed by the thought of making dinner because I don't think I can make it from the beginning to end, and I know I'll crash before I finish.
So I've been focusing on my newfound ability to sometimes "make one thing", and when I do, I make a lot of it so I can enjoy the fact that sometimes, there might be something in the fridge I made.
This is just one example of what I'm talking about and the progress I am making...a baby step. At this rate, I'll be dead before I can ever get to dessert. LOL !!!
Anyway....with the pool, I'm hoping to strengthen my body. I am swimming every day now, adding two laps a day. It's getting easier. At first my arms were going totally numb and feeling so tired. Today, I was able to do 12 laps (counting each way as a lap, 40 foot pool) and did not have any numbness or tingling or much pain or strain!
I used all my back SSDI money to put in this pool for health reasons. I know I'm rambling now....but we live in an extremely remote area, and we have felt trapped in our house, with all four of us sick. I'm hoping the exercise will help me to regain some strength, and maybe then be able to do a little better???
I'll reread all the stuff you posted again, Keebler. I just hope this too will pass....though I'm glad I'm making some slow progress.
Thanks again everyone, this has really helped me. Truth is, I've wanted to post this for some time, but was too overwhelmed to even write the post!!!!
13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
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glm1111
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posted
When I first collapsed back in 1983 I couldn't talk because everything would short circuit and all my energy was completely gone.
Any kind of emotions (even ones that I was not attached to) would short circuit me and I felt like I was going into shock.
In hindsight I think my adrenals were completely exhausted. Pantothentic acid (b-5) helped me a lot. So adrenal support like Keebler suggested could help you a lot.
Gael
-------------------- PARASITES/WORMS ARE NOW RECOGNIZED AS THE NUMBER 1 CO-INFECTION IN LYME DISEASE BY ILADS* Posts: 6418 | From philadelphia pa | Registered: Jul 2008
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Tracy9
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I am going to be starting bioidentical creams for adrenal support soon. But I am on two Adrenal supplements, plus Licorice Root and a bunch of other things. I am about to do a saliva test at ZRT labs and have TONS of bloodwork done.
13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
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sparkle7
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Swimming is good. I like it anyway - even though there's chlorine & stuff. It's good just moving around in the water. I don't know if your pool is indoors but it's going to get cold in the fall in CT...
I guess t=we just have to try to take it all in stride. I try not to get too stressed out about comparing my life to "then" & "now".
I read something about CFS - when you get well, you never go back to the old normal - it becomes a new normal. It may be sad but in some ways we may have gained some wisdom.
I wouldn't have chosen this path but we have to try to make the best of it.
Posts: 7772 | From Northeast, again... | Registered: Oct 2006
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I completely understand. I was the swimmer, volleyball player, softball player, graduated Air Force boot camp, now I read directions over and over....you should see me try to pack to go to the LLMD!!
WTL,
Thinking of you!!!
Shalome
Posts: 893 | From Florida | Registered: Dec 2008
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Tracy9
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wtl, I am so sorry about the struggles you are having with your wife. I have 53 hours a week of Personal Care Attendants. I believe every state has a similar program. Google "pca waiver program" in your state.
I had searched for help, and found there was a program in CT where I could get homemaking help through the state. I got 6 hours a week of help. When the social worker came to my house, she assessed me and felt I need more. I disagreed with her, but she put me in for the program anyway.
It took about a year all in all to get the program; I had to be qualified for Medicaid, spend down my 401 K, and get through the waiting list. But by the time my name came up, I was so much sicker than when I was put on the list, I was so glad that social worker had seen me as much worse than evidently I saw myself.
There are drawbacks; I have to hire and oversee the people, do their timesheets, etc....which is VERY OVERWHELMING when I am sick. I have lost many people because I didn't get their time sheets in on time and couldn't supervise them. It's actually a lot of work when you are really sick and barely awake. It's like a Catch 22 because you have to be able to train them and oversee them, and I have pretty much been way too sick to do that.
On the other hand, you can hire your own family, just not your spouse (which is kind of unfair because he does most of the work.) I was able to hire my son.
The other problem is that it's really intrusive to have people in your house all the time. You are always "on guard" in a sense. They also ask questions all the time, make noise, and don't always do things the way you want...like you can't find anything, etc.
So for anyone who needs the help, search "pca waiver program" in your state. I am just trying to point out the realities because I think people think "OMG she is so lucky" when they hear I have a PCA, and I really am!!! But it's not one, you have to hire at least three, and it's really hard to keep them, too. There is a lot of turnover because it's unstructured, etc.
Also I've been taken advantage of and stolen from. I think it would be GREAT if I were better and could participate more. But then when I'm really sick, it's when I need the PCAs the most. But it's hard for it to work well if you are too sick to oversee it.
So it's sort of a Catch 22. I'm very lucky, but I've had a hard time making it actually work for me. I'm hoping I'll get a little bit better, then I can work with them and get my house put back together someday!
13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
I have trouble cooking as well. I would get overstimulated and would have to take breaks while I was cooking to lie down.
Needless to say, I haven't cooked a real meal for myself in a long time now as it is stress on my body (and people don't believe me!).
Bioidentical cortisol didn't work for me. I didn't feel better; probably worse. Not sure why. It may help you. We are all different.
I have an appt tomorrow, and we will have to discuss other methods of adrenal support. My Dr is not an LLMD, but I think he is worried about me going into Addison's disease as another Lyme patient of his went that direction.
Does B5 work well? How much?
Posts: 967 | From A deserted island without internet access | Registered: Sep 2009
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- In addition to addressing infections, and supporting the liver to help you body move out the toxins . . .
ADRENAL LINKS: -----------------
Many good basic articles about Adrenal Dysfunction:
Curcumin Prevents Some Stress-Related Changes (By CP Staff)
Excerpts:
A recently published study investigated the effects of curcumin, a constituent of the botanical turmeric, on changes in cognition and memory caused by stress. . . .
. . . In this new study, researchers investigated the effect of curcumin supplementation on stress-induced learning defects in mice. . . .
. . . In addition, curcumin reversed the stress-induced increase in the levels of serum corticosterone, the primary hormone secreted during the stress response. . . .
. . . The researchers concluded, ``Thus, curcumin may be an effective therapeutic for learning and memory disturbances as was seen within these stress models, and
its neuroprotective effect was mediated in part by normalizing the corticosterone response, resulting in down-regulating of the phosphorylated calcium/calmodulin kinase II and glutamate receptor levels.'' -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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Keebler
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Member # 12673
posted
- I don't know how that happened but I posted that at the wrong thread.
Ugh. Well, it all still helps here, too, eh? -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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Rumigirl
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posted
Tracy,
I know exactly what you mean.
it also sounds to me like Florinef and possibly atenolol could help you a lot to raise your blood pressure, so you could be upright more and to bring blood and nutrients to your brain better. It's
essential, I find, when your BP is too low, and therefore not enough blood goes to the brain. It even helps you to think better! Ask your LLMD about it. Did you say that you are on Cortef---or will be?
Posts: 3771 | From around | Registered: Mar 2008
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littlebit27
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posted
Everyone has given you great information and I have none-other than to offer support and say Me too!
I get really stressed over everything-before I would cuss a little and keep on going-now I just turn into a ball of mush and can't think clearly-then I cry. I hate it.
Between the irritation/frustration/stress/anxiety some days I just really think I'm going crazy.
Tracy9
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7521
posted
I was on Cortef but am not now; the nurse practitioner who does bioidentical hormones said she will probably put me back on Cortef. I am concerned about Addison's in myself, as are they, becuase for about the last year my face looks tan when I used to be very pale. It does not match my arms. It is fairly noticeable. I look like I put on a lot of bronzer or something when I have no makeup on at all.
Or like I have selectively tanned just my face. I'm concerned.
I do need a tilt table test and do think I may need meds for low blood pressure; not sure. My bp tends to be low but sometimes is all over the place, but I read that is common with small fiber neuropathy/autonomic neuropathy.
I am also finding if someone else leads me along, I do better than I do myself. Today a friend was going to take her two little ones for a blood draw at 9 am. She needed help. I offered to go, needing blood work myself and having trouble getting there. Now I never get up before noon; but because I was going with her, I was up and ready for her at 8;30.
I went to the lab, we went out to breakfast, then I stayed in the van with the kids while she went into Walmart. I live in the sticks so the lab is 1/2 hour away, as is Walmart. It's 1 pm now and I'm home. It felt really good to get out with people. I'm tired but I would have never done all this on my own.
I know I look and act fine so she probably wonders how I can be so sick....but just carrying her 2 year old from the van into the restaurant, my arms were aching. It's those things that remind me I'm not normal, even when I am out and acting and feeling almost normal.
So I just need someone to lead me around. LOL. No matter what, I run out of steam. Nap time.
13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
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Thank you, Tracy. I really need some help. I will check into the State program. I have also set up an appointment with an home health aid agency and they are sending someone to meet me and give me a list of the resource I can check.
Shalome - thinking of you too. Posts: 822 | From midwest | Registered: Apr 2009
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I've been feeling that there is something "wrong" with me for the last few months. I can't seem to get my act together to accomplish anything - I had to file my taxes late, get overwhelmed by insurance, etc. It's driving me nuts. I wish my sister could come deal with all this for me!
I'm glad to know it's not just me. Not sure how to handle it, though. I used to be the most organized person I knew. Now I have to write everything down and even then I don't get much done sometimes.
This drowning feeling is really annoying.
Thanks for posting and listening.
-------------------- dx: MS in 1998 2007 - Lyme suspected 2009 - Positive Lyme, MS worse. Now: Copaxone shots for MS gall bladder out 7/09 Ceftin, Zith, Septra LDN Acyclovir Monolaurin, DHEA, Pregnonelon, Curcumin Posts: 243 | From New Mexico | Registered: Feb 2007
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Hi Tracy. . .this is much better since the big Deseret Biologicals Bart program I did. MUCH. But, I've had it for the past 24 years. I know it well. Like an old friend, but in a bad way.
Another note on the pca program. If you have depression and chronic pain, and get a letter from your doc that you need help, you can sometimes get a social worker (through your private insurance, mine is state funded but not medicare) to help you get household help. We need it. . and it is in process.
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