I actually went through sort of a dating spree soon after my Lyme diagnosis this past March. I've actually told every guy on the first date.

The reason is basically that I'm neurotic.

I figure they will notice that I'm not drinking and that I'm being picky with any food I order. Since I'm on a yeast prevention diet, I feel like Sally from When Harry Met Sally whenever I order food.

I could just say I'm on Atkins, but then I start worrying that the guy will think I'm weight obsessed, because I really don't need to lose weight.

So, then I tell them I'm on antibiotics. Well, of course, then I think if I just let the word "antibiotics" float out there, they are going to start wondering why. And, if I don't tell them, they might start thinking it's another kind of infection...

And, so, I end up saying I can't drink and am on a special diet because I'm on long term antibiotic treatment for Lyme disease.

I actually haven't had a bad reaction. In fact, the guys seem generally interested in how I got it and what the symptoms are. I went out with a doctor recently, and I thought he was going to ask to see my medical records

I do admit, I kind of down play it. I don't want to say on a first date that there are days I can't do anything but sit on my couch and watch tv. And, I notice the men like to down play it too. One guy invited me hiking.

I find most people, even the doctor of course, don't know much about Lyme. So I can educate them...and tell them what I want them to know.

I'm 38, divorced and have an 8yo son. EVERYONE, that I know, knows that I have Lyme and been having a tough battle with it (2 PICC Lines in 2 years and one more waiting for ins. approval). I must of had it for at least 6 years or longer. My boyfriend of 6 months knows I have it. He asks me daily "How are you feeling today?"...it's wonderful to have someone who actually cares. It's just my opinion, but I don't see any reason why we need to hide it...it's part of us...just like my son is part of me, so is my Lyme Disease....why shouldn't we be happy even if we do have Lyme?

Carol

I'm ready depending on the person of course. It will need to be a positive, encouraging, health conscious person.

I never have been interested in drinking so I would prefer to date someone that also isn't interested in drinking or smoking for that matter.

I also battle with whether or not to give it try. But, I have concluded it depends on the person.

quote:

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Originally posted by treepatrol:
Might be Sexually Transmitted ??? http://flash.lymenet.org/ubb/Forum1/HTML/017501.html http://flash.lymenet.org/ubb/Forum1/HTML/023077.html
Or even easier than that

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Are you suggesting we shouldn't date, or that we should just be aware of risks to others and take care in our actions?

quote:

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Originally posted by Aniek:
Are you suggesting we shouldn't date, or that we should just be aware of risks to others and take care in our actions?

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I first got sick with Lyme on my senior year in college. Being that I was a 22 year old extrovert at the time, not having a social life wasn't an option for me.

I discovered many things during this time.
Usually people who are worthwhile will be concerned about your Lyme and will want to know more about it.

One of the guys I dated went online to research about it, which I thought was really sweet.

One of my ex-boyfriends spent four hours holding my hand on one of the many trips to the ER.

Another of my ex-boyfriends asked me if he could see me infuse the medication into the catheter once. He saw the whole procedure and it dawned on him what I was going through. Even though our romantic relationship had already ended, he has been one of my biggest supporters. I think it helped that he actually saw what I was going through first hand.

Another guy I went out with a few times told me that he wasn't interested in continuing the relationship. He said, he was looking for a future bride and an unhealthy gal, just didn't do it for him.
Quite sad at the time, but I guess it was for the best. Walking down the aisle on an emotional roller coaster wouldn't have been wise anyway.

Of course there were many months when I couldn't pull myself together to leave the house. But when I could, I did.

It was always good to know that I could still attract the opposite sex. The truth is that it gave me a bit of an ego boost and it made me happy. On one of my bad Lyme days, I took extra time to look pretty and headed for the mall. A guy asked me out that day, and although I declined his invitation, I glowed for the rest of the day. So much that when shopping at Liz Claiborne later that day I was asked to model for them the following week.

And as for sex, I avoided it. Didn't want to risk my dates and never got serious with anyone person. I wasn't emotionally ready for it with all the Lyme stuff going on in my life. But I do recommend casual dating. The mere fact of getting prettied up and taken care of (even if only for an evening) was an awesome change of pace from my couch days with Lyme.

So, to conclude all this, my suggestion is that you GO FOR IT! If nothing else, you'll change your routine and meet interesting people!

I'm sharing the same boat as you also. I'm 34 years old, briefly married before my illness. I find dating extremely difficult also. Although my energy level is good, I do not know whether to share that I have Lyme or not. I know it has affected a few of my relationships I've tried to have though. Mostly during the three years I didn't know what was wrong. It's great to have a diagnosis now, but I don't want to scare off any dates either. I'm thinking we need an internet dating site for Lyme patients.

The invisibility of Lyme is a blessing and a curse. If I look good enough, sometimes even I can forget that I'm sick. It's make believe in a way, but it still makes me feel good.

It's also proving to myself that I own my body, not the Lyme. I feel better when I can take control of myself, and a little make-up and a cute dress can go far.

In fact, I had to tell a gal I dated 17 years ago..why I left her...

It was simple....she wouldn't open up about
an issue like this, and I figured it meant something that we wouldn't be able to over come as a couple later in life. (Lack of communication)

She responded..that once she got counseling that it helped her dramatically.

I then asked why she would find me and ask this question 17 years later...
It was part of her therapy to find out how she lost the dearest things in her life to her 'denial'...she then complimented me as saying I was the gem she wished she'd had.

Well...my wife and share EVERYTHING!!!!

We had baby showers together (Their half mine you know...), I planned the bulk of the wedding as my wife lived 12 hours away, I did the bulk of the grocery shopping, etc...
AND...I asked her to marry me on our first date 16 years ago, of course she said yes!

(No I am NOT a pansy...quite the opposite)

I read TONS of female magazines as teenager to learn what the mature woman wanted, and I only dated older more mature women until I was 25...and then when I found a gal 2 weeks younger than me, well?

We share everything.

If we hadn't started out that way...we would have ended the same way...not sharing anything...by divorce.

Open up...but don't scare 'em away.

I hope you start a life outside of Lyme...we all need one.

You made me smile.

I agree with you Trip about a dating site for Lyme people. I don't know anyone with Lyme in my state and there needs to be more education.

I third what Stella said about feeling good about yourself and dressing up a bit when you have the chance. I have been told I look better and even younger...I can't figure that one out with the way I feel.