robi
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5547
posted
I am very focoused on finding a way to feel better and I spend a great deal of time on the internet. Can be from 3 to 8 hours a day. This leaves little time to spend with my partner.
This results in 2 issues. 1- We don't spend much time together and the relationship is suffering.
2- She sees my time on the internet as destructive. She agrees it is ok to get support and research information she just thinks the amount of time is excessive. I feel like it takes all ths time to really find the info I need and research all the different options.
I asked her to read the Everything you need to know about Lyme Disease Book and she has ordered it. I have not read it yet, but I am hoping she will have a greater understanding of what I am dealing with.
If anyone can shed some light on these issues I would appreciate the help.
It is not that I want to prove her wrong and myself right. I want to figure out a real balance betwen finidng a "cure" and keeping my relationship.
It is hard to focus on my relationship when I feel like the quality of my future health is at stake.
posted
robi, It's good that your doing plenty of research on LD,but LD takes a long time to treat. Sometimes LD consumes all our time and thoughts. Sometimes it helps to take a break and do things to get your mind off of it. Finding someone to share your life with you is special. Imagine having no one and being all alone and ill. So turn that computer off for a while and spend some time with your partner. You may find out she's the best medicine you'll ever find. (I'm such a sap )
Posts: 71 | From PA | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Aw that is a sad post for me Robi.. My husband left me when I was sick with Lyme...I am not sure I can help. But I can say this...WHEN he left I would be dead now if it wasn't for my "support group" of people here... And I always say you know THIS IS MY SUPPORT group...It is like if I had cancer and went to a meeting for that, only it is online. I believe the longer you live with this disease, the more THANKFUL the spouses become that there are people on line who can listen and give advice. Some things others just cannot understand...Unless they have lyme. Good luck and God bless, Karrie
Posts: 99 | From Hastings, NE USA | Registered: Jul 2003
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posted
I thought of one more thing too Robi...I believe others here will agree... In the beginning it seems all of us were on here a lot...To figure out all aspects of the disease..Once you figure out what exactly you are dealing with it seems it is a matter of updating yourself on research, ideas, etc. And of course the SUPPORT when you need it... That is something to consider also.
Posts: 99 | From Hastings, NE USA | Registered: Jul 2003
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cootiegirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3216
posted
REflections from an internet junkie (that would be me)..... I spent a lot of time online and I do mean a lot. My husband is a very tolerant man and when he mentioned to me about the amt of time I was spending online, it really made me stop and take a look. While we want to learn all we can about this disease, it has to be done with balance.
Challenge yourself to take off a weekend from the computer, or a couple of days. The info will still be there. I know it's hard to invest energy in a relationship - my husband has been carrying ours for quite awhile. But I am finding that if I want to keep our marriage strong, he and my family come first..... cootiegirl
Posts: 1728 | From New York State | Registered: Oct 2002
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I wish I could give you some good advise on this, but I'm not the best one to do that.
I have had the very same isues come up..and I think you have some good advise above, plus your instinct to have your wife read that book sound good as well.
I'm two years into this, and I feel I have a very good grasp of the illnesses..have fought hard for the sake of future health of me and my children..
But this kind of crisis does induce a total shake-down of your life. As I poke my head up from the trenches, I'm surprised to see who is (and isn't) there.
This is ultimately a good thing, you can come out of it with allot.
But your instincts to protect your relationship I'd say are right on.
If you keep reflecting on that, you'll find the ways to do it.
Mo
Posts: 8337 | From the other shore | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
Robi, You will find youself spending alot of time on this (lyme) at first. I think it is pretty normal. There is alot to know, remember and get straight. I also think it is a huge coping mechanism.(It is better than denial) It is pretty important that your partner understand that your long term health is at stake here. Not to scare you, but you could be dealing with this for some time, so its best to get into a marathon runners mentality and get you and your partner ready for the long haul.
Make sure your Partner isnt in denial.
You will find your support group, like we all have. The tried and true will always come through.
To be honest you should be focusing on your health right now. Lyme doesnt take a day off. Wake up every day ready to kick some butt.
You need all the positive energy you can get right now. The people who arent helping need a little "vacation" . It sounds harsh but you cant get well if the emotional side of the house has dirt in it....
be well
greg
Posts: 740 | From frederick,md,usa | Registered: Jun 2001
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