posted
Well, I am sure glad my daughter was not here when I got her POS test back, because I usually tell her everything.
But, how much stress does a 7yr old need to deal with? She sees what her Nana is going thru and I do not want her to think she is going to wind up like that.
I am just not sure what to say when she gets home and we start going to the Dr. and all the abx. Her dad is the one that said not to tell her why she is taking meds.....is that right?
I do not know, so for the ones with kids with lyme, please come forward with your experience and advice.
Thanks for your replies ahead of time!
Posts: 688 | From SW Arkansas | Registered: Dec 2003
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Kara Tyson
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 939
posted
I believe in being honest with a child. If you do not tell her why she is taking meds in her mind she may think that she has terminal cancer and is going to die. Sometimes the imagination is worse than the disease.
Just say she has a bacteria in her body and the medicine is to kill it. Period.
posted
Thank you Kara....I do too, but the ex is different on that than I am. But, I have custody and on him.
I tell her everything....she even knows if there is no $ under the pillow in exchange for a tooth, it is because A. mom forgot or B. mom had no change. (does not happen very often, but you see what I am saying) That is just how it is... I do not like her to have any surprises in life, unless it is a surprise party or something of that nature.
1 for Honesty......anymore?
[This message has been edited by lookin4answers (edited 20 June 2004).]
Posts: 688 | From SW Arkansas | Registered: Dec 2003
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My son Dominic is 7 and he knows everything. Jan. 03 he got very sick, virus after virus plus alot of breathing problems.
Then came the joint problems and constant afternoon fevers. He was seeing all kind of Dr's with no answers. It was hard but I did try to tell him everything.
I asked him when we were jumping Dr's did he want me to tell him everything or did he rather not know, he told me to tell him what I knew. (he was 6 at that time).
By the time he saw Dr C he knew we were traveling (700 miles)to see a specialist and although he slept through most of the first 2 hour visit he never argued about abx or anything Dr. C told us to do.
Even now with the heparin we have blood work done every 2 weeks and he actually helps the nurse draw the blood.
We found once he got to start helping in some discisions in his treatment he felt like he had some control over it.
Like I let him decide what time the appts will be and even pick the day if possible. He also liked to help cut pills, and put pills in the pill box (with my help) and decide when to drink his protien shakes and flax seed oil.
posted
Here's another vote for honesty. I think she should be told.
I have been dealing with Lyme & co-infections since my 12 yr old grandson was born. My father was mis-diagnosed with Alzheimer's. A dr in NJ diagnosed Lyme in 1992 & he was treated for a while. But due to many, many complications, treatment was stopped & my father died of Lyme disease 7 yrs ago - no secret in the family.
When my grandson was 8 or 9, we told him he had Lyme. We stressed the point that it is different in each person & children do better than adults.
He asked if he was going to die, too, but he was assured he was not. Since he knows he has Lyme, we can talk freely about it.
His having Lyme disease has educated lots of people who never would have known about the illness if we had kept it secret.
Also, IMO, if she is not told but finds out later, then she would probably lose some of the trust she has for you, especially since you've been so honest with her about everything.
It's amazing how mature children can be about health issues. With adequate treatment, her prognosis should be good.
Posts: 4638 | From South Carolina | Registered: Mar 2001
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Lishs mom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 2344
posted
Children are bright, she will know what is up and it is important she understands.
When my daughter was given the prognosis of death within the year, we told her. She also has followed her cardiac and neurological stuff. (It later turned out she had late lyme and has been treated for the past three years)
She is now a well adjusted 18 yr old young woman. The doctor is amazed she doesnt have "depression" issues so common with children with severe and chronic illness.
I believe it is because she has always taken an active part in deciding what we do and dont do, is communicative with all her doctors, and is aware of what she needs.
Remember we cant protect them from what they know (and they know they are sick, and they will figure out why...) but we can give them tools to cope.
lymebrat
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3208
posted
Hi,
Another vote for honesty!
My son age 7 and daughter age 5, both know that they have lyme. I found that by having their doctor (the beloved Dr.Jones) sit down with us as a family and answer all their questions and concerns, that both children handled the fact that they have lyme very well.
In fact, it was myself and my husband who were surprised, as both kids had fears of dying or getting really sick like their mommy.
Something I had no idea they worried about. So for our family, it was very beneficial to be honest with the kids, as they were so afraid of the unknown and had so many fears that we weren't aware of.
Children are very resilient and intelligent. Your child will wonder why she is having to take medication, and my guess is that she will imagine something far worse than the truth...
My son taught me a lesson I will never forget..one of faith. He told me that he was sick, he had to take medicine and that God would watch over him. So I could stop worrying...like I said kids are intelligent
You know your daughter best, and I am sure you will make the right decision.
I will be keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers!
posted
Another vote for honesty. When my 7 year old was diagnosed, it was a HUGE relief to her to know that there was a reason why she could no long read, had tremors, couldn't remember what she had for breakfast, had excrutiating joint pain, etc.
There were many times during her treatment that she would say "I know it's not me. It's the Lyme".
It took a huge load of worrying of her mind. I think that enabled her to concentrate on getting better instead of blaming herself for why she felt the way that she did.
Knowing what was wrong with her made her all the more eager to take her meds/supplements and to get better.
frenchbraid
------------------ Stay positive. Smile. People care.
[This message has been edited by frenchbraid (edited 22 June 2004).]
Posts: 948 | From Northwest, NJ USA | Registered: Jul 2003
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Aniek
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5374
posted
I've got 2 reasons for honesty, and maybe they are reasons your ex will agree are important.
First, I was 12 when I was infected, 14 when symptoms started and 29 when diagnosed. I lived for many years with symptoms I didn't tell anybody about. I just assumed they were part of all the adolescent changes. As a child, you don't necessarily know something is abnormal, so your daughter needs to understand the importance of telling you about any potential symtpoms.
The second is for her safety. What happens if there is a medical emergency and you and your ex aren't around? If she knows she has Lyme, she can tell an adult or doctor and let them know she is on medication. Perhaps you can make sure she has a bracelet or even paper that lists all the medications.
Posts: 4711 | From Washington, DC | Registered: Mar 2004
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Kara Tyson
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 939
posted
On my first appt. years ago, there was a little boy about 5 years old sitting in the waiting room. He came up to me with a big smile on his face and said, "I have Lyme and I take medicine so I can get better!"
Posts: 6022 | From Mobile, AL | Registered: Apr 2001
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