posted
My parents just arrived from Europe for 3 month long stay with my sister, who lives nearby me.
I asked them for mental support as I don't have energy to fight Lyme any more by myself (10 years of progressive worstening).
They think, that support is giving me money and they have less than me, so I would never take any monetary support from them.
They don't want to learn anything about Lyme from me, this or other source or talk to other families of lyme patients.
They want me to list for them ALL the tests and treatments I had in past 10 years, so they can give it to their family doctor when they go back home in September.
I don't have the energy to do it and it causes me additional pain to think about all "LIDS" (lime ignorant doctors), who led me to my current condition.
Should I fullfil their wish and wait if I ever get support from my own family, or just give up and find support somewhere else?
Does enyone have experience how to get support from family?
Beeing European, I think family has great meaning to me. Due to another disease I can't have children, so I have to deal only with existing family members.
I love them dearly, but we can't get along pertending there is nothing wrong with me.
Please, HELP!!!
Punkie
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Posts: 89 | From Vail, Colorado | Registered: Mar 2004
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lymeinhell
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4622
posted
Oh Punkie, that's so terrible!!! Just hearing that they want you to list all the tests you've had over 10 years says enough about the situation....
My only advice to you is - let them come over when you feel your worst, and see you as you really are. Don't fix yourself up, don't clean up the house. Explain to them, symptom by symptom, what you are feeling.
Keep your butt plopped on the couch, ask them to fetch things for you, and see if that prompts some parental insticts to surface. Send them to the drugstore to pick up your prescriptions, give your Mom your shopping list, have your Dad take you to the doctor. Let them know that this disease affects every aspect of your life..
I am hoping that once this realization sinks in, you will get the kind of support you so desperately need. I pretty much had to do this with my husband, and he's my total support system now (besides this board).
If that doesn't crack your parents, I don't know what will. I wouldn't waste my time gathering the tests. If they really want to dig up the info, let them do the digging, not you. You have enough to worry about. It will be waste of energy in any case.
I get the impression that all the literature in the world won't make a difference in your parents case, so I'm not going to suggest that.
If all else fails, you have us here at Lymenet, to chat with, vent to, and share ideas with. The LDA also has links to Support groups, and Melanie Reber is from CO, so she may have some suggestions for you too.
My heart goes out to you. I don't have my parents around any more to turn to, so it breaks my heart to here about someone with real live parents that just can't be there for them. I wish you the best, and please let me know how it goes.
------------------ Julie G. ___________ lymeinhell
Posts: 2258 | From a better place than I was 11 yrs ago | Registered: Sep 2003
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Rita
Unregistered
posted
My parents went to their graves being totally antiLyme. My sister and daughter have Lyme, have worked for ducks and have taken a duck position.
If lymeinhell's excellent suggestions above don't work, my suggestion is to move on emotionally, as much as possible. I was much better off when I allowed myself to move on.
Melanie Reber
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 3707
posted
Well, Hello again Punkie!
I JUST now replied to your email...and here you are!
Unfortunately, we can not choose our families...but we can choose our friends wisely. You have made a great choice by coming here for support. This LymeNet `family' is one of the best!
I have always thought that... Your true family is not necessarily who you were born into... But, who you find in your heart at the end of the day.
I hope that with time...your friends and family will come to realize what you are going through, and offer the support that you are craving... But, if this doesn't happen, just know...that we ARE here for you, OK?
Perhaps you will be ale to share the article that Toots mentioned with the ones who you feel need a bit more information for understanding?
Keep in touch...
My best, Melanie
------------------ C O L O R A D O * S U P P O R T * S Y S T E M [email protected]
posted
My mom, rosesisland, has also dealt with the same thing. My gma would believe whatever ANYONE else told her about what is going on in MY MOTHER's life exept my mom! UUUGGGHHHH!!! It can be VERY frusterating at times.
That is up until recently, since I and one of my daughters recieved test showing lyme. Well, she is coming around somewhat.
How long have they known of your symptoms and your diagnosis? For some it just takes a long time to truely sink in and accept.
Hang in there! Come here often, these guys and gals are a BIG COMFORT!
Posts: 688 | From SW Arkansas | Registered: Dec 2003
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posted
Maybe it is hard for them to open their eyes and see how much you are struggling and suffering, knowing they live so far away.Perhaps this is their way of dealing with it................by not dealing with it, guilt can be a monster. It has to be hell, but this board and the intelligent, compassionate people here make up for alot.Print this thread out and simply hand it to them when they are leaving one day, give them a chance to read it and let it sink in. Good luck.
Posts: 46 | From Michigan | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
I would definitely recommend an information campaign here. Print out Dr Burrascano's guidelines and all the most level-headed information you can find about the difficulties faced by Lyme disease patients. Show them experiences that demonstrate clearly the value of the extended antibiotic treatment and the importants of treating aggressively for co-infections. Show them that in fact, your illness is perhaps much more serious than the ignorant ducs think it is, based on the misinformation they have been handed by the corporate medical system in this country that puts bucks over and above patient recovery. DaveS .
[This message has been edited by HaplyCarlessdave (edited 22 June 2004).]
Posts: 4567 | From ithaca, NY, usa | Registered: Nov 2000
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