I received this email this morning, and it has really upset me...
But, it has caused me to wonder how many others are offended by my actions.

I have replied personally to this person...to apologize, and also to try to explain my point of view.

If any others here are offended by my sending patient referrals to you, or by my endearing names...please, let me know.

It has NEVER been my intent to offend or to seem as if I am trying to ask for other's to `work for me'...but, rather...to help the patient find local help from those who know their areas better than I.

So, I think it appropriate to formally make a public apology if I have also offended others here...please forgive me...

Melanie
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Melanie,

Here's the thing: I really felt you were trying to use me to work for you. I don't do that. I will always respond to anyone who needs my help in finding information etc. on Lyme disease. However, I am not here to keep your set-up going. I have lots more interesting things to do.

I am very uncomfortable with your making it sound like you have everything organized and everyone under control. Count me out.

I do wish you luck where you can really do some good, but don't waste your time having me run interference or "help you out". Not my job.

Also, I am really repulsed by people I don't know calling me pet names. We do not know each other. Even if I knew you well, I would call you on that one!

No response needed. I wish you the best.

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You can call ME any pet name you want to.... Dang, I can't believe someone reacted that way to you, of all people!

I love you anyway, "nookums!"

This person needs to get a life!

------------------
oops!
Lymetutu

I second what Lymetoo says!!!

Keep up all your great work!

HUGAROOS,
Chicadee

That was brutal!!! Wow. I cant believe you received a letter like that.

I am greatful whenever anyone takes the time to answer any of my questions. You dont need to do squat for anyone, yet you take YOUR time to try and help others.

Im so sorry that you are feeing upset. I know i would be too.

We love you here.

Sending a big hug (if thats ok honey),

Jordan

If this person doesn't want to participate, that is their right. But I've never seen you be controlling, nor have I seen you act as though you had everything organized.

All I've seen is you working hard to try and GET things better organized, for the benefit of all. If you don't succeed every time, it's the size of the task, not the competence of the worker.

I am sorry to that you got such an email. Can't please everybody, with 6 kids I somehow can't please all of them all of the time, so now I only try to please myself first. Works great. You are a great person.

Now I don't have a pet name. Can someone come up with one for me. I have always wanted one, but because of illness for so long my sense of humour has been gone like for about 15 years. So y'all have a wack at for me. Would make my day.

God Bless and take care,

snicklefritz?

While you're at it sugarpie, please inform us as to how not to offend someone as you obviously did , sweetheart.

Ha! Obviously, I'm just joshing ya muh lil lumpkin.

well, try not to catch me in the epsom tub, I might have to call you a really bad name such as buttmonkey.

We nominate you as our scoopy poo.

And we shall love you and squeeze you and harrass you forever.

Deal?

that was a very uncalled for email.

i hope that person realizes what a jerk they were to send you such an email AND i hope they come to lymenet and see this post.

i have had such things like this happen to me - where i was only trying to be nice, to go out of my way for someone, to be selfless, to try to help, to look up and/or forward info i thought they might be interested in, etc, and then in turn, have it taken the wrong way.

i'm really sorry you got such an email. i know how badly you must feel, even though you really shouldn't feel bad at all. then again, i understand that 'guilty' feeling...

I sent my sister-in-law (who i do not get along with) a cute $5 christmas gift last year along with gifts to her daughter (we only exchange gifts for the children).

instead of a thanks, i got a 'why didn't you get my husband a gift' and 'you are so mean to leave out your brother-in-law'. even my mother-in-law berated me for giving my sister-in-law a gift. i was shocked. i was only trying to be nice.

and then, on top of that, the mother-in-law sent me a very mean email about how i only addressed the gift tags with our last name instead of writing all of our names one by one on every single freakin gift tag for every gift the mother/father-in-law and the neice received.

i did all the gift tags the same way - signed with our last name - on EVERY SINGLE gift i gave out - to my family, our coworkers, our friends, etc. i didn't want to have to write all our names individually on every gift tag.

this was a total shock to me when i got this email. the mother-in-law basically told me that you 'do not sign gift tags like that towards your family - you send gift tags like that to aquaintances'. what the hell?

and here i am only trying to be nice - i went well out of my way for my husband's parents and the niece and i get berated and yelled at for it...

this year, neither my sister-in-law or brother-in-law will receive a thing from us. and i will not put ANY gift tags on ANY gift at all for my husband's family.

I've never, EVER seen you write anything that was unkind in any way, shape, or form.
I'm always so impressed with the Southern Charm & concern that come through. Many times I've wished I could write as beautifully as you.

Why, Honey Chile, you're as sweet & thoughtful as your namesake in Gone With The Wind!!

You know you can call on me any time I'm needed!!

It's a real stretch to say it, but maybe someone was having a really, truly, VERY bad Lyme day, lots of Lyme rage building up inside.

If that's the case, then I recommend that person stay away from the computer on really bad Lyme days.
When you're angry, go outside & kick a tree, but don't kick our LymeNet friends.

The quality that makes LymeNet so special is the way we work together & help each other. I will always remember the way friends here have helped me. Even though I don't have faces to put with the names, they are still great friends.

It's easy for me to say, but try not to let this bother you.

What a boneheadded thing to say to you.

Call it Lyme rage...or, whatever...but you deserved none of it....pumpkin cakes...you little sweetie...love bunch...kissy cheeks.

lol

Trout

PS......without you Melanie...many of us would have no where to run....call me ANY time.

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Now is the time in your life to find the "tiger" within.

Then I read the email.

I am so sorry I did not see this earlier, I wish I had known.

PLEASE do not apologize - and don't let this idiot ruin your mood or your way of doing things.

This puts me in tears and I can not imagine what it does to you.

I've not been on here for quite awhile but am so glad I saw this message from you.

Definitely the wrong person apologized...I personally know that you are tireless in your efforts for this cause and whomever this person is has to know that if they received info from you.

That means this was purely intentional and insensitive idiocy. Even with our Lyme brains, we still know when we are being nice and when we are being hateful.

I say shame on that person, whoever you are...I hope you feel better now that you've shown your true colors and lack of class. Live in your own world of cruelty if you must, but please don't force it upon those who do not deserve it. Everyone here exists to help each other and your type of help is not needed or wanted.

Remember, only those on top are going to feel the sting from this sort of behaviour! So, like it or not, you are on top, you are an organizer so your going to feel it
and who the heck cares if they think you are trying to "promote" yourself. You, I and a bunch of otehrs know that simply is not true.

You are trying to help (and in the process helping) anyone and everyone...and doing it in love, lightness (necessary with such a dreadful illness) and your caring shines through, even when your not feeling well.

Keep up the good work sis!!!!!

I am not too sure how to respond to all of this...
But, I would like to take the time to thank each and every one of you for your very supportive and kind replies...and for the lovely emails as well.

They have replaced my tears of sorrow with ones of love for you all.

To be perfectly honest...I did NOT post this to ask for sympathy or for a pat on the back or to try to make this person look bad...I KNOW we ALL work very hard doing what we can to help as we are able.

I only wanted to apologize IF there were others who were offended by my actions as well.

In all fairness to the person who sent this to me...

I believe that they also try to help as much as possible, BUT, were somewhat offended by the message that I sent to them asking for them to follow up on a personal request that came to me from their state for help.

I have corresponded with this person on numerous occasions in the past, so I mistakenly felt that we had developed a good working relationship.

I had first sent the request to my usual contact in that state that is tremendous at helping and replying to me.

When I didn't hear anything back from my usual contact...
And ONLY after receiving an email referral from this person for help in MY state...did I ask for them to follow up on the patient who needed help in their area.

I was told that they had in fact gotten in touch with the patient.

So, I thanked them and tried to explain that I was NOT reproaching my usual contact, and knew that there could be many reasons for not replying to me...and only wanted to make sure that the patient had been helped since it was a personal request that had come to me.

Then, I received what I posted here back from them. This really took me by surprise, and seemed to come out of nowhere.

But, after careful consideration, I realized that my style just did not suit them, and they had every right to tell me so...and I apologized once again to them for the offense.

I have since been asked by this person to just `drop it'.
So, I have, and will not be asking for their help in the future.

It is difficult to `just drop' hurt feelings, especially when they seemed undeserved, but, I am over it...and am hoping that this person is as well.

Sooo...
sorry that was so long winded...but, I thought it only fair to let you know both sides of the issue.

This person DOES in fact post here often, is a support group leader in their state, and I have seen them be very helpful, so I would please ask of you to not make harsh judgments.

I am now convinced it was simply a matter of miscommunication on both of our parts...and I harbor no ill will towards them.

Thank you all once again for your very kind words...they helped more than you can know.

Much love,
M

First off, instead of sending such an email to you (the first email), out of the blue, this person could have been much nicer and professional about it.

I can think of a jillion different ways s/he could have gone about emailing you NICELY about the situation.

That email to you is downright rude and inappropriate and mean. I would have taken it just as you did. And I would have been very upset at accidentally ticking off that person, also.

Then, for you to appologize for upsetting that person, even though god knows why that person got upset and everyone knows you didn't upset that person on purpose, that person turns around and tells you to 'drop it'...

That person should know that they can cause alot of problems and alot of hurt feelings by emailing others like that. And not everyone will respond the same way you have. I know I'd have an earfull to tell that person if they treated me that way.

Sounds like this person sure thinks alot of themself.

Are you sure it's not one of my in-laws?

hahahahaha

Sounds to me as though this person was just not feeling very well one way or tother at the time to write to you... of all people (!) in this manner.

I hope as it clears you will (both?) see it for what it is and not take ANY of it to heart.

We's sure loose a priceless asset around here if you changed anything about the way you are..

XO,
Mo

Ecc 4:...

7Again I saw something meaningless under the sun:

8 There was a man all alone;
he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
"For whom am I toiling," he asked,
"and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?"
This too is meaningless-
a miserable business!

9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

I guess this person has yet to learn this oh so valuable lesson.

Perhaps the bible makes it too complicated and I should quote Yogi Berra on the matter "You have to go to people's funerals or else they woln't go to yours"

Sent

You are such a sweetie. And even if there was a miscomunication between you and the other person, his/her email was very mean spirited and uncalled for...

Hugs and wellness!

that was a terrable thing to do to someone who spends their time helping others,

when many on this post really dont have to.

i dont no you neither but i have respect for anyone on this post who takes the time to help people they dont even no,
just because they are in need,,,

when they themseves are struggling with the same diease as all of us are

what a nice gift to give (time) and a answer....

my hat goes off for you !!!
dont let this broken egg bother you.
best wishes

I could write a book about scoopin poop, that would leave anyone in stitches. With six kids, three grandkids and many many animals and propensity fopr always getting in "s**t" for something.

There wasn't much that could make my mother laugh in the months before she died, but one of my stories would keep her chuckling for a day. So I will say thank you very much.

Take care all