NOTES FROM PATIENT CHARTS IN HOSPITALS

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

7. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.

8. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

9.The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

10. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.

11. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. She is numb from her toes down.

14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

15. The skin was moist and dry.

16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.

20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

24. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

25. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

26. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

27. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

[This message has been edited by Magdalena (edited 27 August 2004).]

It's no wonder so many people are not getting the medical care they need.

I loved the funnies. Had a great laugh, Something badly needed by many of us. Ted

EX: I asked a dr here in SC about Lyme disease & he told me - "We don't waste our time studying an illness that we'll see only one bizarre case in a lifetime."

THANKS!

I love it!

3greatkids, sounds like you could write your own "comic column". I chuckled when I read your response!

cbb, that is an interesting thought! Aren't we GLAD Dr. Ted is not in that bottom 50%! (smile). I get your point and it is very scary...

Dr. Ted, GREAT that you enjoyed! The first night that I logged onto Lymenet after a Google search I read many posts expressing concern for you during Charley! GLAD that you are back and able to laugh!

TC, I made YOU giggle!??? GREAT!!! I see you putting a lot of time, energy, effort and thought into your posts... GLAD I got a laugh outta you! Thanks for all that you are doing for the lymies on Lymenet!

Peace, Love and Laughter to you all!