I've already waited those first few weeks, and now the gap is closing and I'm getting very anxious. This could mean so many things.

My LLMD could tell me I have Lyme Disease...I would have a rough road ahead of me for an undetermined length of time...but I would have hope for recovery if I could stick it out through the treatment and responded well to it.

She could tell me I don't have Lyme. It really is CFIDS, as my rheumatologist diagnosed originally. If this is the case, I will not have much hope for recovery, I will continue to have uncertain experimental treatments that deal only with symptoms and not cause.

I've thought about it a lot, and as horrible as it sounds I "hope" I have Lyme.

I'm aware its a difficult disease to get rid of and combat, but...it does come with a certain level of hope, and a certain level of proficiency in treatment with the right doctors.

Nothing is guaranteed, I'm well aware of that but I emphasize...hope, optimistism, and options are what I need to get through this.

I have to thank you all for the information, advice, personal perspectives and stories of your own experience. It's helped me greatly, and inspired me not to give up looking for answers.

I'm so thoroughly nervous, anxious, frightened, hopeful, and over-all worried!

Wish me luck. I hope to finally get some answers...though god knows this isn't the first time I've been in this situation...as I'm sure was the same for all of you when you first trekked to your LLMD.

Sigh!

*crossing fingers*