She said that she would look at my other arm for a vein. So she looks skeptically and decides to try.

The needle goes in and nothing happens so she digs around for a little bit and finally the flash happens and the first vial fills.

I keep a straight face even though it hurts. My pain tolerance is pretty high.

The 2nd of the three vials fills easily. She takes that one out and pops the third one in and nothing happens.

She says that it might just be the vial and pulls another one out of her bag. As she removed the "dud" it starts to fill just a little. But before I could say anything it was already out.

So she puts in the new one in and nothing happens. The "dud" didn't have enough in it to be tested. So she starts digging around in my elbow.

She is way in there and my arm is starting to swell and I know that the vein in bleeding internally.

After she pushed the needle in farther, I finally snapped. The pain was too much. I told her to stop and she did but she sure took her time getting the needle out.

Then she put an alcohol swab on it and applies pressure. Of course we all know that alcohol on an open wound burns...thanks a lot.

So she has me hold it, which I do, and tells me that there isn't enough in the third tube and I'll have to go in to the lab tomorrow or Friday.

I held it together until she left the house and as soon the door was shut I lost it. I started crying and shaking and shivering.

I got in bed and called my mom's cell twice and paged her and then called my dad. As soon as he answered the phone and I heard his voice I started sobbing again.

All I could get out was that I was okay but that the nurse had just left. He asked I she hurt me and I squeeked out a yes. He came straight home from work.

My crying and shivering subsided but returned as soon as I heard the front door. I cried and then I started that crying/laughing that happens when you just don't know what to do.

Once I was finally feeling better he took me to Jack in the Box because the only thing that sounded good was a sourdough jack burger and curly fries.

I had survived. But I'm sick of surviving. I want to live.

I felt violated and alone. Sure it hurt a lot but it was more than physical, it was all out traumatizing.

Needless to say, that nurse is no longer welcome in our home and we will call the nursing service tomorrow and request a new nurse. If they can't find someone to my liking, we will find a new service.

Thank you if you have read this far. I just needed to get that out of my system to people I know will understand.

I have fired more doctors and refused to have more nurses than I care to think of. My hopes and prayers are with you that you will find a compassionate nurse who actually understands that you are sick and need CARE.

But I made it through it all and I have been off of abx for going on six months now. I am sx free and doing well. I know I would never have made it without the support of my wife, and you are fortunate to have a supportive father. But also the folks around here understood more than she ever could, something about actually being there.

Dont settle for second rate care.