posted
well hear we go agean its christmas ho ho ho not. how am i going to do this im taird as hell all the time and i stay sick my temper is one the the devil hemself would love. and im surposed to be in the xmas spearent i dont think so. my house is so durty i even hate liveing hear and people really wont to come over i dont think so. and then there this thing called money well ill just walk wright out back pick some off the old money tree! im so sick of people saying if you need anything just call .well that would be just great but when i do thay forget wher i live. dont get me wrong im not a meen person but i dont think i can do this were and how am i surpose to get the strength. i might as well tell you im a child of the god and goddess and i should not think this way but it gets so dam hard. well thanks for hearing me out like you had a choise. all my love to good people. ladyraven.
------------------ delores barber
Posts: 6 | From va beacn,va | Registered: Dec 2004
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I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I, too, and finding myself getting really down now that it is 'holiday season.' I'd like to be enjoying shopping and my son's first Christmas that he'll be aware of, but I can hardly see or think or muster up enough energy to take him outside for some frest air every day.
I am here if you need to vent or talk--I will listen, and you can email me if you'd prefer. I am right there with you.
Sara
Posts: 160 | From Frederick, Maryland | Registered: Nov 2004
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GEDEN13
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4151
posted
you should never dispair..everyone here know's your situation..they live it also...you can write here,someone will come along..if not,write me,,gary
cootiegirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3216
posted
The holidays are so hard on people. I think in part what has happened is that commercialism really plays up the sentimentality of the season - how you must have the 'perfect' decorations (have you seen all those holiday decorating shows on tv? My gosh it makes most of us look like real losers!!!), we must have perfect families (oh yeah....darn that Hallmark!), and perfect foods, gifts, you name it.....
I think your frustrations are very normal when we don't feel well....who wants to bother with all the trappings. I've devised a very simple rule in my life - if I don't feel good, I don't do it AND I don't feel guilty. Believe me that's not something I just did over night - there was lots of guilt for the guilt before I got to the place I'm at now.
The holiday is not about the tree, it is about what the season means. If you are a religious person, then the miracle of Christ's birth should take center stage. If you celebrate Hannukah, then it is the miracle of the lights.
It is good that you come here to vent your frustrations because keeping them in only makes things worse..... cootiegirl
Posts: 1728 | From New York State | Registered: Oct 2002
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as others have said I think your responce is natural --at least I hope so because I feel the same way.
My 10 year old keeps blurting out his wish list and I don't know how to tell him that it is not happening. If it were not for a christmas angel the kids were getting next to nothing. My husband and I have agreed not to exchange.
Our tree is very small compared to our usual tree and the "decorations" around my house were done by my kids and their friends--ie: lights hanging in the bushes and an almost bare tree because they were done.
I did not put anything outside--all the stuff lies in my attic--I just can't this year.
I have been depressed due to this disease for a while now--tired of being sick and tired and turning into a hermit.
My house is dirty also, teenager took up swimming with her school and she is not home to help and it shows--i muster up the energy to try and keep where I hang out in some kind of order or I feel as if the whole world is out of order.
I am also angry a lot--cry a lot etc---I used to be a very social person and moved when i was on my last leg before getting treatment in April of this year--so I really do not know anyone here. what friends I do have left do not want to hear it anymore--I have been ill for a very long time and went through 5 surgeries in 4 years from 1999-2003 and whined about my fibro, endometriosis, interstitial cystitis, etc etc etc--then the lyme diagnosis came along and they are very scepticle about the treatment and what it is doing to me--and they express it every time I talk to them--so I don't talk much anymore to anyone-even my husband--he is got compassion burnout to the max--
Hang in there and know you are not alone. I too am a child of god and try to stay positive when I can--sometimes it is too much work and I would rather lay around in my pitty--pretty sorry huh?
Cathy
Posts: 192 | From Myrtle Beach, SC | Registered: Mar 2004
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GEDEN13
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4151
posted
try to be upbeat..not easy,i know!!reach down,all those pretty thing's are at the bottem of your heart...bring them up,remember?
someone is alway's worse off than you..pray for them..not making light of your situation..merry,happy....gary
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