1) I've pulled my picc line out and I'm running around trying to put it back in myself

or

2) I'm doing normal everyday things . . . from a hospital bed. I even had a dream the other night that I was at a hotel with my husband, and everything was completely normal except I was rolling up and down the halls in a hospital bed.

quote:

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Originally posted by slcd:

Is this just my minds way of dealing with being sick for so long or am I going bonkers?!

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Could be both

Actually, Lyme messes up our sleeping cycles. That is one thing to look for when looking for any signs of improvement: how our sleep is improving.

And the stress of dealing this illness, physically and emotionally, certainly could give our brains enough scripts to keep us in nightmares for a while.

When I was seeing a Psychologist for a traumatic event that I couldn't get out of my head, he recommended that when I awoke from a disturbing dream to write down as much of the dream as I could remember.

Then, later (next day or so) read what I wrote and then write down a solution to the problem I faced in the dream.

For example, if you dreamt that your PICC line got yanked, maybe your "happy" ending could be that while you awaited your next doc visit to discuss starting the IV up again, they did some tests and realized you didn't need the IV anymore.

That may not be the greatest example. But the point was that these dreams come out of us feeling helpless about something. and that writing down some sort of "solution" to the problem is supposed to help cut down on the disturbing dreams.

Let us know if you try this and it seems to work, okay?

Also, have you been checked for sleep apnea? Lack of oxygen during sleep can spark pretty intense nighmares.

I had a sleep test and it turned out I wasn't getting any REM--was waking up 133 times a night from pain (o.k. twice was from being fat). The rest was from histamines that the antibiotics was realeasing in my body--I couldn't breath. I got a sleep machine and take pain pills ta night--that has made an incredible difference. The weird thing is I was never aware of having pain during the day!

I think your dreams are about your subconscience dealing with your lyme and how it is invading every part of your life. It is also good that your subconscience is allowing you to remember your dreams--it would be very bad if you didn't remember your dreams. Your subconscience believes you have the emotional strength to think about these problems and work through them. You are a strong person who is dealing with an emotionally stressful time--be proud of yourself that you are strong enough to work through this. You have a lot on your plate.

If you are really tired you might want to ask for a sleep test.

I'm glad I'm not going crazy!

The sleep apnea thing has me wondering a bit now . . . I DO wake up a lot . . .

I do wake up in the middle of my dreams, but it seems like I go back into them when I go back to sleep . . .

My doc asked if I had pain during the day and I told him, "Hey, I'm a Hillbilly, I don't think about pain when I wake up I think about what I have to do to get through the day!" He laughed and asked about waking up at night.

Turns out that I have the ability to push the pain away during the day--but can't control my subconscience and feel pain at night. So I was waking up 133 times a night from pain--then about that much from hystamines (from the antibiotics) and twice because I'm fat. They can read the alpha waves from the sleep test and tell what is going on with your body! It's wild.

Anyway, that is when we found the Lyme--well more truthfully--that is when I believed I had Lyme. The sleep machine saved my life--that and my doctor.

But I still rarely dream. My neighbor who is a artist and into Jungiun spiritual healing is REALLY concerned about that! I will ask her about your dream--she is a very neat, intuitive, special lady. She gave me free painting lessons when I had the energy to paint.

To answer your question your doc can send you to a sleep clinic--but be sure and get a good one. I have a friend who got a bad one. Be sure and investigate that you get a good one. The release of histamines will mess up your nose so you can't breath and then wake up from that. I'm on three different antihistamines. And I take pain pills but am told I still wake up 133 times a night.

Does anyone here actually exercise? I was reading some literature and it said to lift weights. I just want to be able to walk my dogs!

Linda - I exercise. I'm not on a regular schedule anymore, and that will be my new year's resolution. I feel so much better when I exercise. And it's supposed to help regulate seratonin, which helps sleep.

My advice is start very very small. Even if 5 minutes is all you can do. You need to recognize the difference between normal exercise pain and bad pain. For me, the pain when my muscle is stretching actually feels good. But if I feel anything in or around a joint or tendon, I stop.

I use to be an outside person--which I suspect most people here are or use to be. Problem is I have an older house with a huge yard and three big dogs and lots of work to do. I never thought I would move from this house.

Somebody told me once I confussed work with fun. That is the truth--I love to work out in my yard. So almost two weeks ago I gave a bon fire party. My sister said a year ago I couldn't have physically have done it--but she and my step-daughter came and worked all weekend to make it happen. It was great but took a lot of work. And I loved that--but I took my medicine that weekend. For the last five days it has been allI can do to get up in the morning and go to work and go home at night. I have been sicker than I have been in over four months.

When I read the notices here it scares me. I just ignored the lyme and rode out the once a month, two week tired binges. And then worked like crazy the other two weeks to make up for the first. Now, not only am I questioning whether I should take more meds--but if I need to sell my house. If I keep taking the meds just once a month will I ever get over this? I wanted my kids to grow up in the country like me.

Now they have lymes too.

For years i thought my husband was the laziest man in the universe and couldn't understand what i got out of marrying him. Over the years he has gone from making good money to less and less. Me too. And around the house I was the one that kept everything up and running. Now i know he has lymes and suffers more than I do. And with the medicine I can't do what i use to do. What happens if i don't take more meds?

Am I going to be able to continue to live here?

I am in an emotional, spiritual, economic, medical and rational crisis.

It appears I have a lot of desisions to make.

Thanks for listening.

Seem connected to new meds or change in dosage. Methadone is my latest pain-killer and guess what? It works for me !

I think you are to be praised for surviving what your subconscience thinks was a pretty out of control childhood. Now you can't depend on anyone else to help you through this "ride." You can't let anyone else "drive' your life--you are going to have to drive to get to where you are going--being healthy.

Imagine in your dream that you go and buy a car--or someone gives you a car--but I always help my kids put a happy spin on a bad dream--someone was saying here that is what you are suppose to do. Maybe you learn to fly.And fly up and you can see the typography and layout of the land and you aren't scared, confused, or disoriented any more. Make it have a positive outcome.

You are not alone on this bus. You can see all the names on this web site and we are all having similar experiences or we wouldn't be talking to each other. You are not alone--and having suffered through and, "survive my childhood and my accident prone life I was injected with a deadly infection..." Look at what you have accomplished. You have an incredible strong spirit and character to have survived all this.

There is a bus load of people on your "one way trip" and we are here together and we will just have to support each other and see what God has for us around the next corner--I never, ever expected to be here in my life--but we'll get through it.

Thanks!

I think I will go get some lavender essential oil...thanks Shelley.