posted
I was recently re-diagnosed. I suspect I was re-infected in 2000, but have suffered only limited physical symptoms. Most of my ailments are mental - brain fog, malaise, depression, anxiety, over-emotional.
My wife doesn't understand me when I say that I'm not sick, but I'm not well. I go to work every day, I get around all right...
Is this common for Lyme sufferers? Am I a time bomb ticking?
Posts: 13 | From Chaplin, CT USA | Registered: Mar 2005
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You have hit the nail on the head. My biggest thing is "well you don't look sick".
I have been lucky and able to work 40+ hours but it is catching up to me. My "brain" just isn't working properly and i feel like my arms weigh a ton and the over emotional stuff is in full swing.
There are alot of others out there that have alot of what you described. I am sure others will be around real soon to offer more advice and support to you.
Are you on any antibotics right now? Are you seeing an LLMD?
map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
rph, time bomb waiting to happen. That's how it was with me.
Kept working and trying to fight through it for over 2 years. I was not taking care of me. I was of the opinion that the only thing that was important was doing my over the top stressful work.
Then one day I was body slammed. Hit the wall. That was three years ago and today I'm on the climb back to the other side.
Your gut and heart must be trying to tell you something. Listen! Are you doing everything you need? Restful sleep, nutitional support, right treatment etc.
Pam
Posts: 6495 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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lightfoot
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2536
posted
Hi rph and welcome!!
Yes....I was a ticking time bomb too!! It took a lot of years before I finally caved in and when I did it was extremely debilitating.
But then I had no idea what was going on as I struggled along being "not sick but not well" as you have said.
You've gotten good advice here.......read all you can!! We are the most important person on our medical team!!!
Good luck!
Healing thoughts.....lightfoot
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minoucat
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5175
posted
quote:Originally posted by map1131: rph, time bomb waiting to happen. That's how it was with me.
Kept working and trying to fight through it for over 2 years. I was not taking care of me. I was of the opinion that the only thing that was important was doing my over the top stressful work.
Then one day I was body slammed. Hit the wall. That was three years ago and today I'm on the climb back to the other side.
Pam, thank you for that. It's very timely for me. I had exactly the same thing happen (except I've fought this thing for 16 years). A year and a half ago I simply could not fake my way through work any more.
I still have a lot of feelings of guilt and failure associated with that. At the same time, I was blessed to get out when I did -- it gave me the space I needed to find an excellent LLMD, and start taking proper care of myself in all ways.
Now I'm "almost" well, and the going-back-to-work thing is a real struggle. In my guts I know I'm not there yet, and that I'll be seriously jeopardizing my long term recovery if I go back now.
But the money and insurance issues are so scary; the emotional baggage that goes with not working, and the desire to be "normal" and productive and back in the mainstream again are so invidious.....
rph, I'm "lucky" that my husband thoroughly understands, since he's a lymie too (and sicker than me). But most people don't. And I sympathise with their not understanding -- it's unimaginable how sick you can be and how normal you can look and act, unless you've been through it personally.
Some people can manage to work and get treatment at the same time, some manage for a while, some just get too darn sick. It's weird and awful to be as sick as we get and still be on that margin of functionality such that we get neither the treatment nor the emotional support that we need. But -- you ARE sick and you ARE putting yourself and your bod under considerable stress as you "carry on as normal."
Here is a site for people who don't have LD, but who have family or loved ones who do. It might help your wife to read it and talk to some others in her situation -- I'm sure this situation is equally baffling, upsetting, and frustrating for her. She's always welcome here, too, of course. http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LoveyOnLymeCaregiverSupport/
Can you ask her to help you research LD? It may help her to know you're both not alone with this frustrating illness. Cheryl's Lyme Info is a great place to start as is this board. http://www.lymeinfo.net/lyme.html
This is clearly a rambling day for me, sorry. But good luck, and please know you're not alone, your situation is a very difficult one, and you have lots of support from usn's.
I've never seen the web site for family members to go to since I've been here!
Could you make sure you post this on TREEPATROL & TINCUP'S NEWBIE LINKS so they can add to their useful links for us all? Thanks so much for sharing.
bettyg, Iowa
Posts: 1 | From US | Registered: Aug 2015
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
Minoucat, emotional healing is a big part of chronic illness. I too am dealing with guilt, failure, self-worth. It was so hard to finally reach my career goal and within 9 months it was over.
The last 6 months I've been seeing a muscle tester and one of the MANY things I've learned about the body is.... organ pain, symptoms etc can be caused by emotions. Every organ in the body is tied to emotional aspects of this illness.
We'll get there again. Just don't think I want to be part of Corp. America again.
Pam
Posts: 6495 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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minoucat
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5175
posted
quote:Originally posted by map1131: Just don't think I want to be part of Corp. America again.
Everyone else who has posted before me, Thank You!
This is a well timed read for me. I just did some emotional body mind IMT work with my Pt this week after overdoing on monday, and waking with partial paralysis on tuesday.
It's important for me to let myself "be sick" so I have the opportunity to heal! But man, when I let myself be sick, I'm really out of it! It totaly angers and frustrates my family, but I really have to ask their help and just rest.
I have also just found my career of my dreams.... But can't do it right now. I stopped into the office and co-treated 2 patients with ohter therapist on wed. The first hour I did ok, but the second hour my arms were shaking and aching, and the room started to spin a bit. That kind of concentration is just too much for me right now.
I don't know how this healing thing works still. Maybe someone farther along the path will add to the link. I'm gonna go and read the to the loved ones stuff...maybe my family will read it too!
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