LymeNet Flash: The "Really, Real" advice for Newbies !!!

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»	LymeNet Flash » Questions and Discussion » General Support » The "Really, Real" advice for Newbies !!!

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Topic: The "Really, Real" advice for Newbies !!!

NP40
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6711

posted

The ``Really, Real'' links for Newbies

No, I'm not a Doctor !

If bitten by a tick, please follow these easy to read steps:

1. Extract tick
2. Torture tick with match in attempt to burn it

3. Run burnt finger under cold water
4. Quickly bandage finger

5. Fly personal Lear jet at sound barrier speed
6. Crash directly into local GP's office window

7. Demand doxycycline as you propel through the air after hitting eject button
8. Get fibro-myalgia diagnosis

9. Insist on Western Blot testing
10. Grab appointment paper from GP for spinal tap

11. Run myriad of tests for everything but lyme
12. Results = perfect

13. Tell GP your getting worse
14. Receive pre-menopausal diagnosis [woman] Buck it up sissy boy [man]

15. Continue telling GP your worsening
16. Grab referral slip for headshrink

17. Long for the good old days !
18. When you didn't need ``Depends''

19. Exercise your way back to health !
20. Arm curl toast

21. Search the internet for answers
22. Discover your teenage son has been doing Google searches for Britney Spears bikini pics

23. Welcome to Lymenet !
24. Have computer crash after downloading Treepatrol's Newbie links

25. Post questions about your particular symptoms
26. Have Tincup call you Mr. Potatohead

27. Discover a great LLMD !
28. Discover a herx

29. Have a halfway decent day, the first in months/years !
30. Have a cold front come in

31. Just paid off your mortgage !
32. Start mepron

33. Dream of exotic beach locale vacation's
34. While head is in toilet bowl

35. Gonna' really get after those ``keets'' with this IV infusion
36. Right after sepsis treatment

37. The abx is really starting to kick a+!
38. A+! is starting to kick back

39. A beautiful, bright shiny day !
40. Pull the damn shades and give me my sunglasses

41. Friends stop by to talk !
42. ``But, you don't look sick'' !

43. Start babs treatment
44. Lick microscopic speck of mepron off of counter with tongue, to hold down cost

45. Really start to feel better !
46. Catch the latest virus your kid brought home from school

47. Start going for long walks to regain health

48. In the woods
49. In spring

Posts: 1632 | From Northern Wisconsin | Registered: Jan 2005 | IP: Logged |

duramater
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 6480

posted

brilliant.

Posts: 689 | From western MA (we say buttER and pizzA) | Registered: Nov 2004 | IP: Logged |

charlie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 25

posted

One of the few times you'll encounter me saying 'I wish I'd thought of that'....

Posts: 2804 | From Texas | Registered: Oct 2000 | IP: Logged |

lightfoot
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2536

posted

NP......

What an absolute hoot!!! Only from Northern Wisconsin!!! Whatever bit you sure didn't take your sense of humor!!! Yikes, if we didn't laugh we'd cry!!

Thanks for making my day!!

Healing chuckles......lightfoot

------------------
C O L O R A D O * S U P P O R T * S Y S T E M
[email protected]

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart
and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words".
Unknown

Posts: 7228 | From CO | Registered: May 2002 | IP: Logged |

DR. Wiseass
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 6777

posted

What a hoot!

Thanks for the laughs!

------------------
DR. Wiseass - not a real doc - just a real wise ass.
www.twistoflyme.blogspot.com

Posts: 792 | From USA | Registered: Jan 2005 | IP: Logged |

sapphire101
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 6638

posted

I love it, that's hilarious.

Sapphire

Posts: 495 | From KY USA | Registered: Dec 2004 | IP: Logged |

lou
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 81

posted

Wonderful.

Posts: 8430 | From Not available | Registered: Oct 2000 | IP: Logged |

laserred
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 6796

posted

Too Funny NP......Leave it to you, great sense of humor....

But ain't it the truth!!

Thanks for the grins and giggles!!!

~laserred~

Posts: 493 | From MidWest NorthWoods | Registered: Jan 2005 | IP: Logged |

Beverly
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 1271

posted

Very funny...yep a keeper for sure!lol

[This message has been edited by Beverly (edited 24 April 2005).]

Posts: 6638 | From Michigan | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged |

bg
Junior Member
Member # 46416

posted

NP, thanks for your great sense of Wisc. humor.

Bettyg, Iowa

Posts: 1 | From US | Registered: Aug 2015 | IP: Logged |

once bitten
Unregistered

posted

terrific. when's the book coming out?

IP: Logged |

Loribelle
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6293

posted

came accross this while looking for newbie info for my sister

i thought it was so funny it deserves a rerun!

Posts: 1149 | From southeast iowa | Registered: Sep 2004 | IP: Logged |

trueblue
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7348

posted

NP40 ~

(Thanks for dragging this up from the depths, Loribell.)

Heh, still laughing.

Posts: 3783 | From somewhere other than here | Registered: May 2005 | IP: Logged |

digirl02
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 7177

posted

thanks ! boy do we all need a laugh!! i know i do and it's very easy to make me laugh - especially about mepron and the counter licking !!! lol - do you know it stains my teaspoon cuppy things - just thanks !!! signed newbie

Posts: 121 | From Gaithersburg, MD USA | Registered: Apr 2005 | IP: Logged |

digirl02
LymeNet Contributor
Member # 7177

posted

Posts: 121 | From Gaithersburg, MD USA | Registered: Apr 2005 | IP: Logged |

tabbytamer
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3159

posted

What a riot

Thanks for bringing this back up Loreibelle--I had missed it the first time around.

------------------
Tabby

Posts: 2098 | From San Diego, CA, USA | Registered: Sep 2002 | IP: Logged |

janet thomas
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7122

posted

Too funny!

As I read I was hoping this part was coming-I wasn't disappointed.

45. Really start to feel better !
46. Catch the latest virus your kid brought home from school

47. Start going for long walks to regain health

I'm gonna walk on the paved streets though, in the middle!

Posts: 2001 | From NJ | Registered: Mar 2005 | IP: Logged |

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