He just talks to her and told her the weather was nice in California and if she ever gets out, she should stop by..She had added the part about coming there to stay for free.

and impaired people can be targets. i was. an "alheimers" when i was gravely ill, and son so sick from congenital lyme "that baby (he has a name) is crying because he doesn't have a hat. that's why THAT BABY is crying. too bad her kids (put the babes in daycare. obviouysly didn't enjoy them. and after me, because i did , sick as i was, enjoy children. wanted to get well before they grew up. the people i was surrounded by.

but my sis in law is quite different from me too. and has always had so much more.) if you stay home with your kids, it is because you lack "self esteem". made me wonder about those who couldn't wait to get away from thier babies.

This is just one story in the many stories of the effects of Lyme.Gee,I thought for a minute my daughter had posted about me!!

I know you love her and you came to a place the only place where people really understand this horrible disease.My children are jealous of the time I have spent here but it did save my life and I did learn I was not suffering alone.

At least you have communicated,yes in an open forum,but it is communication and that is was counts.So keep it up,write notes,call each other on the phone,agree to disagree.We learn from our mistakes but in the end love pulls us through it all.

This is like the only place were people REALLY understand.

No one knows you--or knows where you live or what street or wants to know.

This is a safe place and no one is judging you or your daughter--I think we all are thinking that "for the grace of God..." line. For those that don't have kids we have all been 18 and 18 is hard enough with out being really sick with a disease that the majority of the population doesn't believe in.

You are all going to be alright and hopefully your daughter will feel better about things soon. You all will get to a resting place. I KNOW she will understand after she has a baby--it is the most powerful thing you can imagine...What is uncomprehensible is some Moms are not good Moms--some Moms don't care, some Moms would have kicked their struggling child out the door on their 18th birthday.

YOU are a GOOD Mom--and don't you forget it! Everyone on this message board knows you are a good Mom. And I sure know that some days all my stuff is just leaking out and leaving puddles all over the floor--we have all been there. Some days are just hard for all of us and we are all doing the best we can and you need to cut yourself some slack--you are only human.

God bless you and your daughter.

quote:

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Originally posted by lymemomtooo:
I have been in contact with the man that was talking to my daughter and he has assured me that nothing is out of the ordinary.

He just talks to her and told her the weather was nice in California and if she ever gets out, she should stop by..She had added the part about coming there to stay for free.

I aplogize to the man for my suspicions and to any on lymenet that have offered suggestions..I had honestly thought the worst from everything that I had to go on.

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Your post is personally abusive and uncalled for.

The circumstances under which this Mom came to the supprt group for help were valid, bottom line.

The rest of it could be misunderstandings and miscommunications -- of which cannot be solely on her part, since there are others involved here.

As a mother myself, I know instinct is critical and often correct.

Major point here is also that you know nothing of the illness that family faces -(and other families on this board you have just posted on).. you know nothing of what it encompases. All I can say is to blame this Mom for anything, the way you just did, is way, way off base.

I would think if you thought about it, you might understand her position and refrain from scathing insults and blame.

Mo

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Originally posted by JillF:

I am more appaled by your behavior RealMom then Lymemomtoo's.

She has every right to make sure her daughter was not/is not in trouble.

How did she know the age of this person contacting her daugther? How did she know what his purpose was?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Mo:
There is [b]nothing wrong, ever, no matter what the circumstances for a mother to look after her daughter, even moreso if that daughter is ill.

Your post is personally abusive and uncalled for.

The circumstances under which this Mom came to the supprt group for help were valid, bottom line.

The rest of it could be misunderstandings and miscommunications -- of which cannot be solely on her part, since there are others involved here.

As a mother myself, I know instinct is critical and often correct.

Major point here is also that you know nothing of the illness that family faces -(and other families on this board you have just posted on).. you know nothing of what it encompases. All I can say is to blame this Mom for anything, the way you just did, is way, way off base.

I would think if you thought about it, you might understand her position and refrain from scathing insults and blame.

Mo

[This message has been edited by Mo (edited 03 June 2005).][/B]

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You hit the nail right on the head a few times when you said "Somebody YOU DON"T KNOW AT ALLLLL", "That have no clue who is my son"

That's exactly THE POINT. When this woman answered her phone,a hang up. Her daughter had to answer on the first ring. Why? I see you're from PA. Does your young son have a house in California?

This woman had and still has every right to be concerned.

I don't know why you would be shocked at the support she received here, as this is a very special group of people sharing the same horrible illness. She will receive as much support as she needs here and THEN SOME.

I'm sorry your son received those nasty calls from strangers, it's kinda frightening to get calls from strangers.

She had no idea if her daughter would meet up with this guy (who could have been 5 times her age) one day w/out her mom ever knowing - with the possibility that her daughter might not make it home again...ever.

Some facts:

Offline stalking is mostly a gender motivated crime towards women and committed by men.

(This is from 1999!!!)
The University of Cincinnati conducted a national survey by telephone of 4,446 randomly selected women attending two and four-year institutions of higher education.

(25) They found that out of the 696 stalking incidents, 166 or 24.7 percent involved e-mail. (26) That survey was several years ago, but a recent survey shows a growing trend of this activity.

(This is from 2000 - 2001!!! The internet is being used so much more now - so I can't imagine what the statistics would be at this time)
Recently, Working to Halt Online Abuse (WHOA) conducted a survey on cyberstalking. (27) In 2000 and 2001, WHOA compiled information on a total of 609 subjects from victims that they assisted who were harassed through the Internet, 353 in 2000 and 256 in 2001.

(28) The subjects of this study were people who reported the crime to WHOA and thus the study may not represent the entire truth, but it gives a representative sampling of who the cyberstalkers and victims are likely to be.

Although there were a small number of subjects, the study looked at several factors. For both years, the study concluded that 83.58 percent of the cases involved female victims and 63.88 involved male harassers. (29)

WHOA only helps adult victims (over the age of 18), but they found that 30.54 percent of the victims were between the ages of 18 and 30 and the second largest group of victims (16.58 percent) were between the ages of 31 to 40.

(30) For 2001 only, WHOA found that 40.63 percent of the victims were single and 28.13 percent were married. (31) The victims were mostly caucasian, 57.47 percent.

(32) Out of the 96 percent of victims that knew who their harasser was, 49.26 percent had never had any prior relationship or contact with the harasser.

(33) For this survey, all the harassment cases began on the Internet except for 1.31 percent.

(34) Online harassing usually (39.57 percent) began with an e-mail and the second most common avenue was in a chat room (14.94 percent).

As already noted, online stalking can turn into offline stalking. WHOA found that 73.56 percent of the cases did not escalate into offline threats or stalking. (38)

There is no current exact data to show national demographics on cyberstalking and there probably never will be. Just like offline stalking or any other crime, statistics can only be compiled if the victim reports the crime.

Another problem is that offline and online stalking now have a strong reason to be commingled; the Internet is so accessible.

While online stalking may not go offline, stalkers who would stalk their victims before the advent of the Internet, have an easier avenue to cause more harassment.

There is not much difference between on and offline stalking except for the use of the computer. Comparing the studies, the victims are usually women and the stalkers or harassers are men.

One of the most important features that online stalking has compared to offline stalking is that the stalker can be located across the country or the world. It would appear that victims of offline stalking have a lot more to be worried about than online stalking victims, but the cases show that this is not the exact truth.
http://gsulaw.gsu.edu/lawand/papers/fa02/medlin/

quote:

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Originally posted by OptiMisTick:
OK folks, its time to close this discussion down I think.

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I disagree. Actually this has been one of the most interesting and timely discussions on this message board. Usually we just hear one side of the story but here we actually heard from all the people involved.

The main problem here is that any contact between an older person with a younger person (male or female) over the internet is going to be perceived as a possible preditory situation.

I think Lymetoo came here with a valid concern. There are online predators out there and any parent has a right to protect their child and monitor their online antics regardless of the fact that they are healthy or sick.

Realmom also has valid concerns that her child is being targeted. However, for me, I know absolutely nothing about realmom's voice, so how do I really know this is the boy's parent or some sick individual playing with everyone's head here??? I don't, and that's the problem with this whole internet thing....

There are some real weirdo's out there