However, I am stubborn and keep trying to go back to work. A month here two days a week, two months here 1 day a week, well two years later still the same.

I have LTD coverage but just reached a "new level of benefit formulation". A drop in benefits of $2100 a month. So, I force myself to work limited days 3 days a week.

I am single and closed escrow on my (BAY AREA priced) home the day I was finally diagnosed. But now it is time to go back to work full-time.

How many of you are working full-time and still so ill? how do you manage it? do you think it keeps you from getting better? what do you to keep afloat?

I just don't want to have to give up more than I already have to this disease. But I still have weeks that I can barely make it out of bed to the couch.

Hmmmmmm...

I really think you need to go to another support group for that.

I have NO clue what to say. Too tired to even be at the computer.. but I think my butt is stuck in the chair here... so you are stuck with me!

Maybe others who know crows and formulations can help tomorrow? I hope so.

In the meantime.. I hope your herx goes way away.

While you are hoping I go away!

Feel better soon.

Oh.. do you want fries with that?

You can only do what is best for you.

CA Quest I will email you if you don't mind.

I actually smoke with family more seriously about the finances of LYME and they collective can come up with a sum for the next 6 months that should help.

At this point my stubborn I can make it own my own attitude is quickly going away.

Thanks everyone, it always just helps to type the emotions and get support from folks that know.

I just smoke more seriously with family, LMAF.

I feel that I MUST keep working.

16 days straight of migraines this month made it a very hard month.

I'm finding it so hard to think straight that it is starting to make work really hard. My boss is very kind too and my office very supportive and rallying around to help my sorry *** not keep forgetting important things. :-) They even get a little weepy about it.

However, it's like I cannot think fast any more, even when my head is NOT hurting. I cannot multi-task. I am sort of slow and plodding.

I'm just taking it a month at a time and praying it gets better because I love my job and don't want to stop work.

In the afternoons I am soooo tired that it's hard to not fall asleep driving home.

I actually fell asleep in court last week. :-( Briefly. Hope no one noticed.

I have a house. I'm a single mother. Young daughter. Gotta work!!!

Hang in there.

Michelle M

I am lucky in that I work part time and can make my hours, but even with that, I have used up all my leave time. So I am just taking things day by day.

I just want to hibernate on weekends and stay near the couch. It took me all afternoon to water plants on my porch and the thought of having to grocery shop is almost to much to think about.

I toy with the idea of a leave of absence, but my small salary helps, especially in the winter, when weather causes my husband to be laid off.

Janey - true, I do stress at home worrying about money. I work 4 days a week now but like Michelle it is a true challenge. Especially with a new herx for my millioneth bartonella relapse.

Breathworks - my parents in fact are original Bay Area hippies that made good I am glad you understood my comment.

Thanks everyone for the support and inspiration. We all struggle so much - good health and good days ahead for all I hope.

Personally, I would be much sicker if I didn't work. I love working and I love my job. There are many days I forget I am in pain because I'm so involved in my work.

But I recognize I am one of the lucky ones, on many fronts. I don't have severe fatigue or brain fog or other cognitive symptoms. I have also had Lyme since I was 12. So, I have learned how to cope with many Lyme symptoms not even realizing they were abnormal.

I started law school part-time, while still working, last fall. Healthy people think I am insane for the schedule I keep. But I think it was the third best thing I could do for myself. (No. 1 is getting on antibiotics and No. 2 is getting real pain treatment). School gives me a goal to look forward to. It keeps me away from the tv. It gets my mind off of my illness. It keeps my brain active, while allowing my body to rest (both in class and reading on the weekends).

quote:

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Originally posted by janeymae:
I feel trapped into working and hate it. I would like nothing more than to just stay home and concentrate on getting better. I have been on abx for 2 months and not much improvement, during herx, it is worse.

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Janeymae, you and I have been in treatment for the same time.

We are relative newbies in treatment.

I am holding out that "next month" will be MUCH better.

At SOME point, it is going to turn around and get easier, right???

Why NOT next month?

Last month was sure a barn-burner.

If we made it through last month, next month has got to be a cake-walk!

So far, I have worked thru even my worst days.

My staff treads lightly and can tell usually at a glance how my head is feeling.

I continue to (rather optimistically) hoard my "sick days" for fishing and work through my bad headache days. Relpax helps most of the time.

Michelle M