timaca
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6911
posted
How do you all respond to the never ending question from people that you run into "How are you doing/feeling today?"
When you feel awful (which I do a lot) or you wish you felt better because you've been on treatment for awhile and aren't making the gains you'd hoped to see.....how DO you respond?
I don't want to be a downer and say "feeling awful"...although sometimes I say that. Sometimes I say "just working on getting better"....
But, I'd like to know how you all handle that question.
Thanks in advance....
Posts: 2872 | From above 7,000 ft in a pine forest | Registered: Feb 2005
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livinlyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3773
posted
He really you are asking...
I usually chuckle "You really don't want to know do you?" that ususally raises an eyebrow since most people are just asking to be cordial..or I will cut out with "I have seen better days" or I chuckle and say something like "well, if it don't kill me, it might cure me" or some uncanny remark.. but then that is my way of dealing with disaster... I try to laugh it off.... my sense of humor is the only thing that will get me by...the only thing that has me this far,, and the firey torch is fading to a small flicker lately...just can't find much humor in things and I find my health is begining to suffer all the more.. I guess I'm getting too serious and too old to be smart about it.
But really most people don't want to hear about your poor health... now the only people I tell the truth to is my family.. and trust me since they all now are being treated for LD.. they can relate! before this they didn't seem to connect to me .. I felt like a chronic complainer.. and just tried not to complain but inform about the disease..
I found out later that they really didin't listen to me all that much cause I had to repeat many times about things I had already told them.. Now I know unless I get an indication that the person is interested in the topic I just move on fast to the next one.. since if you go on too much about it you will find you have less and less people in your court...people here can relate so never to worry.. but others can not and never will unless they too have it.. which we all would never wish on another...
You may not be the cutty sort of person that I am so these replies may not suit your personality.. but they work for me.. some people seem interested, others could care less .. you can tell when a person is interested and when they are not .. you get a few "uh huh's" and "ohs" and "ah's" you just change the topic real fast and figure they just dont care.. you will devise your own sort of remark to answer them and they will either prompted you to tell them or just shut up real fast...
-------------------- "Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it." Posts: 1389 | From who knows, who cares, but somewhere over the rainbow | Registered: Mar 2003
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HEATHERKISS
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6789
posted
At work I usually tell people how I'm really feeling.
But sometimes I just say.... aw let's talk about something else I'm tired of complaining.
People I don't know and people I know but aren't close to or if I don't want to talk get the lie. I'm fine.
Lately though I've been telling everyone I meet that I have Lyme. And tell them I'm doing much better becuase of long term antibiotics.
We really ought to come up with a snappy line that will become a popular saying. You Know.... Like........ That's Hot! or You go girl!
blymey slymey Lymey
-------------------- HEATHER
Posts: 1974 | From ABERDEEN, NJ 07747 | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
I don't hesitate to tell people I have Lyme. Usually they're curious & ask about symptoms & treatment. A brief answer is sufficient. If they're still interested, I answer questions & give them a Lyme brochure. I never leave home without brochures.
Some people don't care at all, so I don't go into the Lyme Seminar.
When they ask how I'm doing, sometimes I just say - Doing pretty good for the shape I'm in.
And my favorite: For all those times people say "you don't look like you're sick," I smile & say - It's deceptive packaging!!!
Posts: 4638 | From South Carolina | Registered: Mar 2001
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Starphoenix
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 2402
posted
It depends on who's asking. When my husband asks me in the morning, I may get frustrated since that is my worst time of day. "How do you THINK I'm feeling?!" But, really, I know he just cares so much.
I share more with people close to me, of course. Even with them, though, I feel like a downer sometimes. I might say something to most like, "I'm having more pain today, but I'm staying positive."
I let it "all hang out" with some folk.
Steph
-------------------- Learning to love, and loving to learn. Posts: 1318 | From Shohola, PA | Registered: Apr 2002
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It depends on who I'm talking to. If it's my brother, who is less than sympathetic anyway with these kinds of things. I used to tell the truth, but he made it obvious that he wasn't paying attention. For instance watchin t.v. while on the phone with me. So now, when he asks ( IF he asks) I ask him if it really matters.
As far as my Husband, I try to put on a game face since he is always so worried about me. But he always knows how I'm doing just by my voice or how I look.
My inlaws hear how I'm doing from my husband anyway so I usually reply "not too bad" . and change the subject. although I have said "crappy " as a response to my Mom In Law. But, it WAS in the morning - right star?
and my favorite, is saying FANTASTIC and busting out in a psychotic laughing fit. I've said that one a few times already. - and the laughing is good for you!
-------------------- -Kimmi Just keep swimming! Posts: 251 | From East Greenville pa, usa | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
Hi! Been through this one.I just say good as I can't be bothered hearing but you look good.I am so sick of it.The people who know you and care will know how you are feeling by the darkness of the circles under your eyes etc.
I felt bad saying good all the time at first as it felt dishonest but then I got used to it as I felt pathetic explaining why I didn't feel good today.
It is strange at first,Take care,Sue from Downunder.
Posts: 801 | From Kiama,Australia | Registered: Dec 2002
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robi
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5547
posted
I am truthful. If I really feel like crap I don't go out .... so no one asks. If they ask .... I tell them ....... I have a long version, a short version, and a very short version.
I belive it is an opportunity to educate. After a while folks who don't really care, won't ask. I have always been known as a genuine person ........ I make no excuses and don't tell people something just because it's what they want to here.
I am direct ... but not hurtful or inconsiderate.
I answer the question "How are you feeling ?" with an honest direct assessment of the moment.
-------------------- Now, since I put reality on the back burner, my days are jam-packed and fun-filled. ..........lily tomlin as 'trudy' Posts: 2503 | From here | Registered: Apr 2004
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livinlyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3773
posted
Oh hey gang. I went that route tell all about this Disease.. ya know since I got down here in Florida most people would listen. I even posted an article in the local newspaper in the Press Enterprise in Bloomsburg PA .. that raised a bucnh of calls and I sent out copies of the LDA flyer... ,, yet down here most people give you a "awe, thats too bad" and they cut you off.... I tell you down south they appear to be null and void where this illness is concerned.. so if you think N.Y., Conn., and Mass have it tough passing laws.. wait til it makes it down this way!! You will have your work cut out for you! Just a summary note of this!~ LINDA D
-------------------- "Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it." Posts: 1389 | From who knows, who cares, but somewhere over the rainbow | Registered: Mar 2003
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Andie333
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7370
posted
When friends began to question why I was ducking out of social or civic events or not showing up at all, I decided to be honest.
My honesty prompted a lot of questions, which lead me to start an email update chain letter. I send the update about every 6 weeks and go into quite a bit of detail.
I do this primarily to desiminate information. I live in a top Lyme state but went undiagnosed for 9 years, as I saw more than a dozen specialists. I was never tested for Lyme, though some of my symptoms are pretty clear Lyme indicators (like unilateral large joint arthritis).
I think my friends are really glad to get both the information and the updates. Several have referred friends to me when they were suspicious of symptoms.
As far as work, I'm self employed and have had to cut quite a bit of work. I wanted to let everyone know what was going on. If I had to stop the job, I felt I had to explain why (plus, some of the work I really loved and could pick up again when I'm feeling better).
With other clients, I couldn't predict how I was going to feel at any given time once I started abx.
I wanted to be clear about potentially missing deadlines or possibly sending work at times not up to standard. I've found it has really help to do this; I've also found people to be extremely understanding.
If someone sees me and asks or calls me and asks, I'm usually honest...and since I'm still in early treatment, that isn't always pretty.
Most people I've talked with are completely clueless about how devestating this disease can be. I was exactly the same way prior to my dx, so it's something I understand.
Andie
Posts: 2549 | From never never land | Registered: May 2005
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posted
Me and my hubby John do the same thing CBB does. We tell everybody he has Lyme. I even carry brochures with me. Even the waitresses ask for them when we go out to eat! I just feel we need to share our knowledge of Lyme with people maybe it might just save them from getting late treatment because they will be aware of the long term affects of lyme. I just dont want this disease to go unknown!
Joyce
Posts: 34 | From MASS | Registered: Sep 2005
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lymeloco
Unregistered
posted
I tell them, I have good days and bad. Every so often friends will call to ask me out, and I used to go just to make them happy...only to pay dearly the next day!
Now, I just say up front what I feel. Whether it be physical or mental. I'm sure they believe the latter half the time, but I really don't care anymore! I came in this world alone, and I'm going out the same way!
I have no guilt or animosity because all my life I have been there for others.
I used to hate when somebody would complain to me that so and so was a hypochondriac. It was plain to see that some of these people are really sick.
On a positive note, there are some wonderful friends that I do have, and they respect my feelings. They know I used to be the one to hear their troubles, and also make them laugh!
I was a very vibrant person, and there are days that I still am! Most friends are working or have children that have many activities going on after school.
They always tell me way ahead of time that we should all get together, but let us know when you feel up to it! We all know who are friends really are.
There was somebody on here that said, when people would said say you look good. Her answer was... I have the good-looking disease! I thought that was good!
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posted
I think that curiosity is the main drive behind some people. After people find out what's wrong with me they don't really want to know details. It's like they just had to know what was wrong. They don't want to hear about treatment or how I'm feeling. You just can't win. People bash you for not telling them anything and then when you finally do they just think you're complaining too much. That's why I have a hard time telling people at all.
-------------------- Laura French Posts: 39 | From Bloomington, IN | Registered: Sep 2005
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posted
if the motive for asking is ill, then reply with, "eat sh**, and bark at the moon!" or,
"...not as bad as you that day you got arrested, having woke up the next day naked in front of your car with the keys up your a."
Posts: 2708 | Registered: Feb 2005
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posted
Always with humor. It makes me and the questioner laugh and we both feel better. Laughing always gives me a small short lived adrenal boost and I will do anything to feel better for even a short time.
I usually say something flippant like "Im upright" or "Im still here kicking back at anything that tried to bit me" You get my point.
It would serve no point to go into detail about how I really feel except to a medical professional and I even hate to do it then. Its a downer for me to verbalize it.
I have a whacky obtuse sense of humor and I always say its my most important coping tool for living with lyme disease or my terrible terrier.
Posts: 561 | From connecticut | Registered: May 2004
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People I don't know and people I know but aren't close to or if I don't want to talk get the lie. I'm fine. ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
And tell them I'm doing much better becuase of long term antibiotics. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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