Topic: I AM SO MAD-I REALLY NEED TO VENT-STUPID DOCS
lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
this is about having lyme but remembering that all your symptoms might not come from lyme and how important it is to keep that in mind and deal with whatever you can to decrease your overall pain...BUT, when docs assume if you are fat and middleaged and post-lyme you are a crybaby or hypochondriac it gets hard.
i went in the hospital a couple of weeks ago because i was so dizzy i had to crawl on my belly to the bathroom. i had been on crutches for a week with pain in my left sitting bone that came on in a day. i had forgotten and didn't think it was important that 4 days before that i had worked hard in my garden digging and fallen on my butt in the cellar and landed on cement. the day after the fall i hurt so much all over it wasn't clear to me that my butt hurt more than the rest of me.
i end up in the hospital 6 days. i continually tell them my left sitting bone hurts. they xray my lower back and see i have arthrits and decide my pain is referred from that. they are really pushy about giving me steroid shots in by back. i am really pushy about refusing-because of my past experience with steroid shots. thank god i listened to myself.
today i went for the follow up and told the doc-how do you know i don't have bone cancer...this is a big pain and it is not going away...so to placate me he xrays my pelvis and voila...fractured pelvis. this pain-as bad as it is-is no where near my lyme pain-but, no apology for not finding it sooner...its a month old...healing nicely...he changed my pt prescription to the pelvis from the back and i should be ok in a month.
grrrrrr!!!! i am just so mad. no wonder people don't get better. i didn't like this doc at all the whole time-he made snide remarks about my lyme treatment and really dismissed my complaints. i've been walking around wwith a fractured pelvis for a month. the creep. oh-the dizziness was from taking so many pain meds - but i'm still having trouble gettin it to go away -it might be because i had some brain trauma (whiplash) and of course lyme damage up there too.
so-the moral of the story is: trust yourself. use the knowledge you have learned from here and your llmd. and don't let the ducks get ya.
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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trails
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1620
posted
you said it!
Can't believe you've had a broken pelvis for a month! Cant believe your were in the hospital for 6 days and no one FOUND that your pelvis was broken!!?? Stay strong, Trails Posts: 1950 | From New Mexico | Registered: Sep 2001
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Linda LD
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posted
I'm just glad you survived those ducks!
L
Posts: 1171 | From Knoxville, TN US | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
Stupid question but, "Did they even ask if you had had any falls???"
So sorry this happened to you. Good for sticking up for yourself about the steriod shots.
Bea Seibert
Posts: 7306 | From Martinsville,VA,USA | Registered: Oct 2004
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treepatrol
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 4117
posted
Broken pelvis geeeeezz I better get my wife exrayed she fell in the end of sept and broke her left 3rd meta tarsal and swelled her left knee up. She's been complaining about her lowe back hip area.
-------------------- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Remember Iam not a Doctor Just someone struggling like you with Tick Borne Diseases.
posted
Fortunately, I was able to convince my husband that he HAS to not only take me to the dr; he has to go in with me to see the doc. I make lists, then still don't tell the right stuff. I had a bruised kneecap a few months ago. Told my husband the dr asked if I'd fallen; I said no. Truer would be that I don't make it thru a week without some kind of lingering pain from a fall. We need an advocate when we're in those situations. Unfortunately, we usually don't have one. Good luck on your healing.
Posts: 108 | From Florida | Registered: Sep 2005
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
s...neurolyme
yeah , they did...and i know this is my fault...i told them no. i honestly had forgotten because it happened 4 days earlier. and i am so used to pain i try to ignor it and block it out. but c/mon, i'm the patient-i must have told at least 5 docs and 10 nurses where it hurt-i could point with one finger. once the doc said to me, "i don't want to be disrespectful but it would be hard to hurt a sitting bone with that much padding." so what is that---discrimination against big butts? honest to god. what we all go thru.
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
That dr was way wrong [obviously]....when you have added weight, you land harder....so the chances of breaking something would be equal to or greater than the chances a smaller person would break something!
I was wondering this last night.......how can they do an X-ray of your lower back and MISS the broken pelvis???
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
well-they did xray the lumbar spine and it was only the vertebrae you saw on it. the pelvis-was the whole pelvis-you didn't see any vertebrae.
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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hopeful123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3244
posted
sorry you had to go through that horrible experience and that now you have to heal from the broken pelvis, as well.
a friend fell off of horse and had two fractures in her pelvis. She is doing fine now. Her fractures occured in Sweden while she was horseback riding of all things. Her insurance company gave her a hard time when she needed follow up treatment in the US because they couldn't understand that there was no original bill because of socialized medicine. Anyway, it took a lot for her to get that cleared up.
I wish for you a speedy recovery and good for you for refusing the steroids.
feel better
hopeful123
-------------------- some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield Posts: 1160 | From NY | Registered: Oct 2002
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troutscout
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posted
Jerks.
Trout
-------------------- Now is the time in your life to find the "tiger" within. Let the claws be bared, and Lyme BEWARE!!! www.iowalymedisease.com [/URL] Posts: 5262 | From North East Iowa | Registered: Sep 2002
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posted
I've never posted here before, but I came on to vent, too, because it was suggested to me. I appreciate "venting" to people who might understand. I haven't been able to read (rather digest) much on the page, yet, but I'm pent-up and this will be, hopefully, a safe outlet. I know this is too long, but am too tired to edit it. You'll probably be bored-our-of-your-gourd, or too tired too, to read it all. But at least I'll have said it.
Judging by my history, I got Lyme Disease about 1983, I think before it was even identified, though people who had "it" sure knew something was making them sick. My only sign, a viral-meningitis-type illness, with horrible-head-ache-and-stiff-neck-and-weird-prickly-skin-sensations-too-ill-to-move-for-three-days, in Utah (of all places). I got better with time, though I developed food intolerances and attendant problems which made it impossible to eat as much variety from then on. Lyme apparently hid and was reactivated several years later. Since it was never treated, I developed what was finally diagnoses (in 2002) as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome [CFIDS] and FM, with a history, I was told, that was similar to the Incline Village thing at Lake Tahoe, if the viral-meningitis-type illness was discounted. After a three year migraine, a year or so of health (due to more dietary changes) and then a "flu" in `94 that flattened me, and from which I never recovered, I spiraled downhill, searching for answers, thinking I was still fighting a "bug." Apparently I was, but how many, I don't know. I was thought to have something, but most doctors didn't know what. I was fortunate to have primarily physicians who said "I don't know," for which I was grateful. They were the ones who listened to me.
There were, of course, the inevitable ``others.'' One diagnosed me with anorexia, although I'd been the same weight within a 20-pound range since high school. Another told me to quit wasting doctors' time and my money, bag any more blood tests, see a psychiatrist, get out, get a job, and do something useful in society. (Like saying alive isn't useful? Like we're not useful if we suffer? Like there isn't meaning in suffering? Or courage that isn't seen? I had to believe, and still do, that good can come from suffering, and that there is nothing wrong with just "be-ing" rather than "do-ing.") It was one of those Spanish Inquisition experiences.
That was a nightmare appointment. There have been others. And once, a nightmare hospitalization. There is so much prejudice and ignorance. After I was finally categorized by a specialist n the forefront of FM/CFIDS research in the Intermountain Region, and she'd done for me what she could, the limits of my financial resources, I went for a second opinion to a family practitioner who two friends recommended. He treated Lyme all the time, it turned out, and was in the forefront of that fight, in the teeth of the too-often-know-it-all doctors at the University Medical Center. He did a second Lyme test (the first 3 years before was negative), and sent it with a history to Igenex Labs in California. It came back positive, and I've been on antibiotics since. Only two to three weeks after I'd begun the regimen, I could think again! The brain fog was so much less, that I could even read, and listen to a little music, again. (I'm a Classical music nut, having information overload from Mozart had been one of my great losses.) I'm not well, in fact, I've just been switched to a different antibiotic. My CFIDS M.D. isn't convinced it's Lyme, my regular Internist, and faithful friend, is convinced it must be SOMEthing like Lyme if not Lyme itself and is very grateful for my Family Practice M.D. So am I. Now I must begin what "lpkayak" said is where I'm at. I haven't gone through the "I have Chronic Lyme, which resulted also in CFIDS and FM" thing yet. But dread having to do that eventually.
I hear you "lpkayak." When doctors "assume if you are fat [or on a limited diet] and middle-aged and post-lyme [really chronic-lyme?] and a crybaby or hypochondriac it gets hard." REALLY hard! They'd be crying, too. Anybody would.
One of the hardest things I think, is how this illness is perceived by "others" -- how it affects relationships. I knew MYSELF, I remembered ME. I HAD to. Because being chronically ill with a disease that hides in your body with a penchant for nervous system cells, goes far to making you lose your identity, along with all your abilities, talents, capabilities, life-loves. (My extended family helped here, because they "remembered ME" too.)
But my husband (bless his heart) and most of my children (bless their hearts) told me over and over it was "all in my head." They tried not to, I think. But stress levels would inevitably rise as I could do less and less and handle less and less, and there I was trying to raise teens while so very ill. It affected them all, in some ways my youngest child most, who was the one who watched the disease's progress, and how I was treated by other family members and how I could go from good days to bad days, and good to bad moments. She knew me best, and has a great deal of commonsense. But she bore a great deal, too (bless her forever for that), though it breaks me up to have caused my family such pain! I was recently "disowned" by my eldest who is married with children; and told I'd never be allowed to have anything to do with them again. (Just a knife in your heart.) I hurt and angered them, often when I didn't even know things were being taken the way they were. My daughter-in-law never knew me "well" -- they announced their engagement at the end of a day, when I was very ill, and always worse in the evening. All I could do was cry. I had justifiable worries, without being so ill. If there is any pretending in this illness, it is in trying to rise to the occasion, like spending time with her since when I ``should have been in bed getting well,'' as some have told me. But there isn't a ``getting well'' in that sense, and life is a trade off. She couldn't SEE the illness, or what it cost me, or the benefit I derived from learning to love her. Naturally, she saw only my behavior, and that led her to suppose, since I was trying to attentively listen, that I heard what she said, or caught more than one word out of three, or that it would have ``sunk in,'' that I would remember.
They didn't understand the devastating effect this illness has had on my life, and my identity. The losses have been almost unbearable at times, not counting the pain, and exhaustion (physical and mental/brain fog). It was so confusing to my son, who saw me sometimes when I "was the kind, loving mother he remembered" and other times when he felt "I don't know this woman." They thought it was all a problem with my personality; that it had nothing to do with the illness. But my personality, and my character, is the same as it was. The "mom he remembers" is the person I still am; when I'm doing well, I'm not especially anxious, I can deal with things, am optimisic, cheerful, patient. But as I go downhill, anxiety sets in with the brain fog. Some would say anxiety causes the rest. (I've seen a few doctors that espouse that, having no other answers). But it's the other way around. If you're close to collapse, you're going to feel a little anxious. My daughter-in-law found this site, and I was so grateful, because they came to talk with my husband and me, and though I wept through most of it, and have been exhausted by the ordeal, good has come of it. Maybe that's what it took for them to finally listen, and bless them for making the effort to understand, rather than just berating me They finally do understand a little better. And I am, as far as I can tell, forgiven. I'm the mom, here. I didn't tell them that I had to forgive them, too. Whoosh!
I often "look" well -- or rather, look like I'm ``putting on an act" for some obscure reason, because I have to wear dark glasses, the flip-up-and-down-kind; and ear plugs WITH gun ear-protectors on); and walk with a cane...so that I can conserve my physical and mental energy, and moderate the amount of stimuli and data my brain takes it. It seems to me strange that I should be thought to be pretending. I have ``places to go and people to become'' still in my life, and anyone knowing me would judge the thought of a pretense as an aspersion on my character. It makes one want to cry out, ``Don't they KNOW me?'' The answer, of course, is no, or that they forgot.
Am I all "out" there, or do any of you relate? To this identity thing, and the devastation on my life? And the communication gap; and the gap between appearance and reality?
By the way, not to speak "lightly" of falls, I fell flat on the back of my head when I was a kid and a minor concussion. (I was caught in a kissing-tag cross-fire; Lance Somebody was trying to catch me; and I didn't want him too.) I couldn't hear what the other kids were saying, I just recall looking up from flat on the ground, seeing kids looking down at me, and a ringing in my ears, and a ring-like-vise sensation around my skull. I can't imagine a broken pelvis! OUCH!
-------------------- cecy sunshine "I remember me." Posts: 33 | From Salt Lake City, Utah, USA | Registered: Nov 2005
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
cecy-i am glad you found us. i can relate to a lot of what you have gone thru. i don't know how much i put in my post but i have 4 kids and 5 brothers and sisters and of all of them i think only 2 believe in lyme. some of them are very smart too-chem and science majors. but i believe growing up watching me suffer was so scarey to them - that they might end up like me --for survivals sake they just have to be in denyal.
i'm pretty tired and can't write much tonight, but i have been thinking about one thing all day. there have been some studies relating lyme pain to chemo and other severe pain. but if i broke my pelvis (it was a really big chunk that broke off too)and the pain was no worse than my normal lyme pain that i live with everyday(well-for 4 days it wasn't---but after walking on it for 4 days it did get bad fast)...and even this jerk of a doc and every other therapist and nurse and doc i have seen since are thinking i am in really bad pain-cuz a broken pelvis = bad pain.....BUT THEY JUST DON'T GET IT THAT THE LYME PAIN IS WORSE!!!!!!! Grrrrrr!!!!!!
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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NP40
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Member # 6711
posted
These exact stories have been told many times here at lymenet, only the authors change.
Stay here and learn, and get well. You're among friends, and those who know exactly where you've been, where you are, and where you'll ultimately be.
Posts: 1632 | From Northern Wisconsin | Registered: Jan 2005
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Hang in there. I, too can understand your pain. It is like we all need a new body to jump into! As far as your family is concerned, have them read up on lyme. There's some good ones at amazon or recommended by others on the site.
Only lyme patients and maybe other really chronic pain sufferers can understand the day in and day out exhausting pain.
I myself, have a hard time getting myself out of bed usually, but if I do, at least for a while I don't go quite as insane!
You're in my prayers!
Jenn a.k.a. schnuddelka
-------------------- When given lyme make lymeade! A tick check a day keeps lyme away! [email protected] Raising awareness by creating as many lymebassadors as possible! Posts: 158 | From Northern Wisconsin | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
Hey, lpkayak, NP40, and schnuddelka (Jenn),
Wow! What a response! Thanks, I needed that. You really lifted me. It seems so unexpected somehow, like a miracle. I smiled and laughed and cried. "I'm home," I said. "You understand, you've been there, you are there, and you have reached places I haven't yet." I feel like I'm chasing the dawn not fleeing the sunset. I don't know why I expected to meet rejection, unless because we DO so often through this whole thing.
Lpkayak, yes, that's it, about the kids needing to be in denial. (Wow, are we learning patience or what!) It helps to hear others express what you're just piecing together. It doesn't matter how educated (or not), or smart (or not), or anything, to their UNDERSTANDING. It only matters where their at, their emotional place, where it all fits into their own lives and struggles. I've got to remember that. And I'm trying to not be surprised when I find myself saying, "Here we go again. Same scenario. Just listen, just listen."
About the pain of Lyme, the only pain I've ever had worse (post surgical pain unrelieved for hours because the pain-med wasn't going into my vein) was the stiff-neck-pain-covering-head-pain tingles-pricks-on-skin-pain too-ill-to-move-pain of the viral-menengitis-type-illness that WAS, unbeknownst to me, Lyme when it struck!
And Jenn schnuddelka, yes, about getting out of bed. (Getting a shower is still a major activity.) I'm full of projects, things that interest me, especially now that I'm on antibiotics and can think again. I'm refinding ME, and my smile is back. They help me "feed myself."
What you said about the new body, I've often thought that...but you said it so well, so wittily. I'm still chuckling. I'll try to get my family to read up on lyme. I have a hunch it's take them a while, because of what Lpkayak said about denial. (O.K., I couldn't resist that rhyme. See, I TOLD you that you all you lifted me!) You're like my cheering section, my rush of honors at the finish line...still in the distance, but the roar of the crowd is there.
NP40, I liked so much what you said about same stories, different names, and about being among friends. Once 6 or 7 years ago I was snail-ing my way into an doctor's appointment, holding on the wall for support, and a woman my age walked passed me going in the oposite direction. She said, "Been there, done that." That was all. I wanted to call her back, ask, but eternity stretched out before and behind me like it does when distances are so hard to cover. But her words stuck in my mind and gave me the glimmer of possibly a well-again-in-the-future.
My children tell me, "I believe you can get well." They need to believe that. But I'm not comfortable with it yet. Because so much has been said to me for so many years about "getting well" and I just want to "live well" you know? I want them to accept the illness, "me sick," since that's where I am right now. And I have to "not wait until I'm well" to be happy. If it happens, great. If I get better, great. If I get worse again, gr...um...sure, whatever. But if it getting well doesn't happen, I'm committed for the long haul: I'll go through however much suffering, for however long I have to, no matter what it takes. It's a promise, you see. Still, somehow, the idea of getting well coming from you is a little easier to take; I can see that possibility AS a possibilty and not as a rejection.
I believe what Albert Albert Schweitzer said, that we have been made part of the "fellowship of suffering," whether we're ill, or well, or know and love one who's ill. We can see things, understand things, of immense value. Even if only, confined as we often are, to supporting one person here or there. This forum gives us more opportunity to do so, and for that I'm very grateful. Thank you for supporting me!
And thank you for your prayers. You're in mine, too.
-------------------- cecy sunshine "I remember me." Posts: 33 | From Salt Lake City, Utah, USA | Registered: Nov 2005
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posted
I'm not sure who bumped this thread anonymously and left it today. But I thank them for it.
All of your stories have me in tears b/c I, too, can relate to each of them. The ducktors, the false diagnoses, the physical collapse though I looked just fine, the mental fog, the pain, the trying to explain to loved ones who ended up all telling me to get over it, lose some weight, get some exercise or those that a woman of a certain age...blah blah.
I too was convinced I had bone cancer b/c nothing could feel so badly as a corrupted body frame. I must have a brain tumor b/c I was fogged, unable to read, walk w/o feeling like I was in a bad nightmare, the constant forever moving pain that left me confused but never relieved from it every day, the wanting to scream until I couldn't anymore, to sit in a corner and just rock myself from thinking I was losing my mind, the loss of faith in everything and all....and the sheer loneliness of being forgotten or labeled such and such....
but why am I telling you all of this? YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH IT ++++ for all of us. We only tell the worst stories/symptoms, not the terror of knowing that your life has forever been altered.
Just want to hug you all, and say I DO UNDERSTAND AND FEEL SO SORRY FOR YOU. I also want to say, "it will be all right" again, either in this life or the next.
We should all be praised for how tough we really are...and how few would survive this battle we take on every moment of every day and night.
You are NOT alone even if it feels that way. This helped me cope just a wee bit better. I hope it does for all who read this thread also. Posts: 867 | From PA | Registered: Jan 2006
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
Whew...i just read the whole thing. What a trip down memory lane. It reminded me of something really sad i havent thought of in a long time. When i was in the hospital those six days i had to make decisions about one of my two mini schnuzers. His name was dylan. Many of you know about his brother kris. Lymetoo met kris! Anyway dylan was having a second bladderstone attack while i was in hospital. He was at vets and i was talking to vet on phone. They talked me into letting them do a second surgery on him. When i got out and got him.home (i still couldnt walk upright...i was crawling around house-just me and two dogs)...when i got him home i realized they had butchered him. He was bleeding and coffee ground poo was coming out and he was inso much pain but also frantic to not make a mess in the house
I should have put him down not given him that second surgery. He went thru hell while i was going thru hell and it made me not think rught and made him have a horribly painful last week of his life
So sad but only one of the horrible ways lyme has affected my life
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
I wonder where those ppl are and how they are doing. Ten years and still relevant, huh? Sad tx has not improved much in all that time...
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Oh Kayak...I"m so sorry I posted to an old thread that brought up such sad memories for you. :-(
I lost 2 of my best fur friends last year, my 19 year old grizzle cat and my 9 year old berner. Within 3 months of each other and I STILL can't talk about them to anyone..have to still stop myself from thinking of them even.
That pain goes right to your soul, so I'm so sorry.....
Posts: 867 | From PA | Registered: Jan 2006
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quote:Originally posted by healthywealthywise: I'm not sure who bumped this thread anonymously and left it today. But I thank them for it.
- Anonymously?
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
Healthy...dont worry about that. Its ok...ive learned to feel the pain of stuff. Like that and eventually it goes away. Kris was 17 and he died about five yrs ago...a year after that i found etta and anyone who reads my threads knows about etta
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5829
posted
Ok, you got me! I finally noticed Trout and Tree's posts and thought- "What's going on?"
Not only was I feeling really bad for you kayak, and got all up in arms about the ducks, for no reason (too little, too late), but then I hurt for you and Healthy and your animals!
Well, at least you know I care! Hugs to you and Healthy!!!
posted
Oh crap, there I go again causing sadness by a dumb post mistake I made.......
I've decided to LEAVE THE INTERNET for at least a while...it's made me too sad too.
Posts: 867 | From PA | Registered: Jan 2006
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
healthy please dont go...you may have been confused but you didnt do a bad thing
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
anyone else on here ever been confused?
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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steve1906
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16206
posted
Hey Healthy, I'd say 80/90% of us are confused most of the time, very much including ME!!!
I like your posting and comments, don't leave... You didn't do anything wrong.
LYMENET IS LIKE A CLASSROOM - WE LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERYDAY.
Steve
-------------------- Everything I say is just my opinion! Posts: 3529 | From Massachusetts Boston Area | Registered: Jul 2008
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
heck honey you didnt do nothing. I've made more mistakes than fleas on a dog.
I just blurt it out and hope y'all can make sense of it. and as they will tell ya sometimes it doesn't.
I've stepped on toes too. so think nothing of it.
we're here to support each other and everbody on this board know I'm still grieving over my baby and my mom.
now my husband...thats another story....lol
if you leave I won't have anybody to harass...
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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linky123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19974
posted
It might be time to resurrect tutu's alligator pit...
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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Catgirl
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 31149
posted
Healthywealthywise, hang in there. I know how sad it is to lose a cat. I still pray to see mine at night when I dream. Remember the good times you had with your cats, not the sadness you felt when they died. They are in a better place now. I hope you find some peace with that.
-------------------- --Keep an open mind about everything. Also, remember to visit ACTIVISM (we can change things together). Posts: 5418 | From earth | Registered: Mar 2011
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i honestly had forgotten because it happened 4 days earlier. and i am so used to pain i try to ignor it and block it out. but c/mon, i'm the patient-i must have told at least 5 docs and 10 nurses where it hurt-i could point with one finger. once the doc said to me, "i don't want to be disrespectful but it would be hard to hurt a sitting bone with that much padding." so what is that---discrimination against big butts? honest to god. what we all go thru.![[Mad]](mad.gif)
![[hi]](graemlins/hi.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[group hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
![[kiss]](graemlins/kissing.gif)
Thanks, I needed that. You really lifted me. It seems so unexpected somehow, like a miracle. I smiled and laughed and cried. "I'm home," I said. "You understand, you've been there, you are there, and you have reached places I haven't yet." I feel like I'm chasing the dawn not fleeing the sunset. I don't know why I expected to meet rejection, unless because we DO so often through this whole thing. ![[shake]](graemlins/shake.gif)
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
![[lol]](graemlins/lol.gif)
I'll try to get my family to read up on lyme. I have a hunch it's take them a while, because of what Lpkayak said about denial. (O.K., I couldn't resist that rhyme. See, I TOLD you that you all you lifted me!) You're like my cheering section, my rush of honors at the finish line...still in the distance, but the roar of the crowd is there. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[toilet]](graemlins/toilet.gif)
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