MADDOG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 18
posted
Yep ,i am walking a thin line between sanity and being hauled away to the loony ben.
A person can only fight so long and endure till something hits the fan.
Well it isn't just Lyme it is work toxic chems..
It is infirriority complex caused by Touretts,and poor grades caused by ,I wasant there ,I was in outer space.That was 40 years ago.
138 IQ and no reality just out there floating in a mental stew,for 12 years of school.
Now at 50 my world is crashing .
I told my nephew monday who joined the navy last month.Don't be a failure like your uncle get all the training the gov will give you and make something of yourself.
If you stay on the watter ticks cant swim!!!
Well i guess this is a mid life crisis ,yep i belittle what is happening with this name.
Got to just stay out of the looney ben and go on with this mess.
MADDOG
Posts: 3996 | From Ohio | Registered: Oct 2000
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MADDOG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 18
posted
I think that this theory,is based on the fact that I cant belive that a human is capable of going through this much pain for so long and still function mentally.
I fear a sudden end to what a human can tolerate mentally.
Some threshold of BOOM the brain explodes into a millon pieces never to be the same again.
There has to be a top out to this thing some kind of limit of human ablity.
MADDOG
MADDOG
Posts: 3996 | From Ohio | Registered: Oct 2000
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charlie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 25
posted
I'm trying to call you...hang up OK...
Posts: 2804 | From Texas | Registered: Oct 2000
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charlie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 25
posted
A OK
Charlie
Posts: 2804 | From Texas | Registered: Oct 2000
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MADDOG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 18
posted
Wow,i am feeling better now.
Probably got carbonmonoxided at work,somebody ran a truck with the exhaust hose off of it,or something.
Gotta love that job.
MADDOG YIKES!!
Posts: 3996 | From Ohio | Registered: Oct 2000
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quote:Originally posted by MADDOG: If you stay on the watter ticks cant swim!!!
Sorry to break this to everyone, but I got LD as a sailor with the department of Navy... Apparantly ticks CAN swim. (Or sneak on to a ship in the cargo)
-------------------- Sometimes when I say �Oh, I�m fine� I want someone to look me in the eyes & say �tell the truth�
just don
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1129
posted
Hey Maddog, keep at it. Dont let 'it' or 'them' win. Perserverance is the fruit of life. What stage is the 'moon' in right now? I need to ask because I cant see thru all the peasoup 'fog' Warm thoughts, -d-
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
oh maddog-i think of you a lot. i'm glad you've got some support here. i will pray-i wish there was more i could do.
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Madness, Failure -- these are subjective words. If you look back at history both these words were used for many who gave the most to the world but it was never recognized till after their death.
When you look in the mirror dont see yourself as the world judges success. Many of the successful people of our world are failures in my eyes. The fact that you are suffering pain and anguish has nothing to do with your value except to say that you have an incredible endurance. Who knows what kind of courage your situation gives others.
I struggle with "whats the point of my existence" too since I have become a hermit with no work product but then that is not for me to decide.
I try to take each day and do the best I can with it and have learned to be thrilled by the "gift" of the sight of a bird or even the incredible "hummingbird moth" I was priveliged to see. In my former life I would have never stopped long enough to notice.
Today my goal is to be able to do my pilates exercise tape and then I will be finished for the day but proud of having reached my goal. Oh yes and I will manage to feed myself.
These small triumphs have been hard to appreciate "as enough" but I have managed to do so with only a few mourning moments for the old me.
Ok, have to stop befor Im all used up and cant exercise. Just want to try and give a little encouragement to one who is in that discouraged place for the moment.
Was glad to read you feel better and hope you too will see a "hummingbird moth" anything but a tick. Yeah, I know my sense of humor is whacky but its my most important coping tool and one of the few things that aint broken.
Posts: 561 | From connecticut | Registered: May 2004
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Ann-OH
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2020
posted
Hi Maddog, I think you are a very talented and accomplished outdoorsman and naturalist. I think you could do some really rewarding work in a less demanding job that doesn't poison you daily.
Why don't you see what http://www.monster.com/ could find for you? (I know that sounds like a big truck site, but it is a place to check out jobs.) You might find something you could do from home or on short trips etc.
posted
Maddog - I love you and do not even know you! I have enjoyed reading of your escapades for years. I am so sorry you hurt.
Read Sofy's post often - I will.
She articulated how I feel so often.
Am I a failure because I am too sick to function . . . or am I a success because I choose to fight?
Winning is sometimes about the fight.
And . . . do not ever forget -- lyme can be contracted from more than tick bites . . . so maybe water won't protect you at all!!
Hang in there.
Sherry
-------------------- Posts: 704 | From Huntsville, Texas | Registered: Oct 2000
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just don
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1129
posted
Maddog, Geesh, arent you the lucky one. Look at all the love coming YOUR way!!! Now I am jealous cause I never get any of that stuff!! What am I doing wrong? You have all the carisma, care to share some??? I remain--just don-- PS. You are twirling all the girls around on your little finger "IF" you didnt notice!!!! FEEL the love???
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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Geeze there were at least a couple of post that said I wrote an encouraging "good post"
Well I guess I did do something to contribute to the world for today besides open and close the door for she who rules the world "the dog"
Thanks soooo much for making me feel like I a success in this world in spite of being a hermit.
Posts: 561 | From connecticut | Registered: May 2004
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just don
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1129
posted
And I forgot to say "SOFY" had an excellent post and should be saved for ever (do they call that postarity(sp) ??? It is one of those all time favorite ones!! See how important 'Sofy' is??? What can we ever hope to do here without her? Cuz we are all family and I am --just don--
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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MADDOG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 18
posted
Hi,Wow everyone,so many good replies.
Sofy that is beautiful.
Ann,Charlie,MO,Just Don,AP,IPkayak,And PonyTail,you are all so kind.
THANKS TO ALL!!!!!
I am walking on the coals right now but my feet have been here before.
I have found that waiting and hopeing are good, as things never stay the same.
Everything on this planet changes with time so i will wait and hope that change is for the better,next time.
And do my best to make it change in my favor.
MADDOG
Posts: 3996 | From Ohio | Registered: Oct 2000
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Mo
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
Now I am jealous cause I never get any of that stuff!! ![[bonk]](graemlins/bonk.gif)
What am I doing wrong? You have all the carisma, care to share some??? ![[confused]](graemlins/confused.gif)
I remain--just don-- 
![[woohoo]](graemlins/woohoo.gif)
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