cantgiveupyet
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8165
posted
I just went downstairs to try and cook dinner.
I heated up some olive oil in a pan. Prepared the asparagus to saute. Well, when i added the asparugus it begain to crackle. My jerk of a father comes running out.
you CANNOT cook with oilve oil. All mad taking the pan off the burner which i already turned off.
Your brother said you cant not use olive oil...only veggie oil. My urologist said to use olive oil...its on the list of OK foods. Dammit!!
So i flip out throw all the very good looking asparagus in the sink along with the stupid frying pan.
Just some backround i pay all the bills here...and they treat me like dirt. Im too sick to get out now......but i really think all this stress played a huge part in me getting sick to begin with. I was trying to get out when i became so ill.
My mom says she is thirty years old...meaning leave me alone. That is her belief and why i had to lug 3 huge trashbags from the 3rd floor today. Ive only been asking her for 2 months if she could help.
I dont know how much longer i can put up with all this. NOW i cant cook with olive oil. Why because it burns because i cant stand on my feet to cook. I really believe they would rather not have me around, im such a burden.
they cannot see how sick i am....i dont get it. they never ever offer to help. They claim i make special meals. yea 4 eggs and veggie is so special. They eat mainly microwave meals.
I was doing somewhat better today, but once again all stressed out. I just want to eat, and now cannot eat dinner....so i cant take my abx.
Its so unfair......how they just dismiss me, yell at me and dont even bother to help.
How can a human be so cruel.
-------------------- "Say it straight simple and with a smile."
"Thus the task is, not so much to see what no one has seen yet, But to think what nobody has thought yet, About what everybody sees."
-Schopenhauer
pos babs, bart, igenex WB igm/igg Posts: 3156 | From Lyme limbo | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
I do not envy your situation. It's weird how people often hurt the ones they love.
I will keep you in my prayers. Hiker
-------------------- Hiker53
"God is light. In Him there is no darkness." 1John 1:5 Posts: 10189 | From Illinois | Registered: Aug 2004
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cantgiveupyet
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8165
posted
thanks hiker,
im sitting here just not knowing what to do.
im hungry, need my abx......and my burning has really increased.....
i pray everyday to get me out of this mess.
I have no tears left to cry.
-------------------- "Say it straight simple and with a smile."
"Thus the task is, not so much to see what no one has seen yet, But to think what nobody has thought yet, About what everybody sees."
-Schopenhauer
pos babs, bart, igenex WB igm/igg Posts: 3156 | From Lyme limbo | Registered: Oct 2005
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trails
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1620
posted
sounds pretty hellish over there right now.
I am really sorry you are having to face all that on TOP of having Lyme and everything else that you have been going through lately.
It is no fair at all.
The worst thing is not having supportive people around you and it is maddening, I know.
Is there someone you can call right now? Someone who knows you and inderstands your situation and loves you?
I would have you call me, but I need to cook myself right NOW!
Maybe you need to just eat a micro dinner for now...let your blood sugar go back to norm, deal with the emotions after the tummy is satisfied. I think micro food right now might be better than none.
Thinking of you, Trails
Posts: 1950 | From New Mexico | Registered: Sep 2001
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trueblue
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7348
posted
Cant, I'm sorry, my situtation is not very different from yours.
I don't even want to think about it or I start to cry, again. Ha, and this is a good day.
I've been trying to find a way out of my living situation for a long time, I hit walls where ever I turn.
I do know I was better able to take care of myself on my own; it was actually much less stressful.
I'm sorry this isn't helping at all but wanted you to know you weren't alone.
Now, what to do about the ABX? Anything in the kitchen you can just grab and eat so you don't go hungry and can take your meds?
I'm sorry about the asparagus, I love asparagus.
More hugs...
-------------------- more light, more love more truth and more innovation Posts: 3783 | From somewhere other than here | Registered: May 2005
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cantgiveupyet
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8165
posted
i think im just going to have to stand up for myself in true lyme fasion. I need to eat. I can make 4 eggs in about 10min....then grab some chicken and romaine lettuce. make a salad. Even though i really want a veggie, i guess i will have to pass on that tonite.
I woke up late this morning so i didnt eat lunch....so i am very hungry right now.
I really dont know how a my family can live with themselves everyday.
I wish they could created a place where all lymies could live........so we wouldnt have to deal with unsupportive people that just make us worse.
thanks for the encouraging words.
now im going downstairs and im sure they will say its too late to cook. 9Pm and too late to cook.
-------------------- "Say it straight simple and with a smile."
"Thus the task is, not so much to see what no one has seen yet, But to think what nobody has thought yet, About what everybody sees."
-Schopenhauer
pos babs, bart, igenex WB igm/igg Posts: 3156 | From Lyme limbo | Registered: Oct 2005
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trails
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1620
posted
Force be with you!
Posts: 1950 | From New Mexico | Registered: Sep 2001
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trueblue
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7348
posted
Salad is a vegetable!
-------------------- more light, more love more truth and more innovation Posts: 3783 | From somewhere other than here | Registered: May 2005
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cantgiveupyet
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8165
posted
thanks for the laugh trueblue.
I ended up having 4 eggs some chicken and broccoli.
im just glad i was able to eat and take my abx.
i feel a bit better now except for my bladder burning. ugh.
thanks again for your thoughts.
-------------------- "Say it straight simple and with a smile."
"Thus the task is, not so much to see what no one has seen yet, But to think what nobody has thought yet, About what everybody sees."
-Schopenhauer
pos babs, bart, igenex WB igm/igg Posts: 3156 | From Lyme limbo | Registered: Oct 2005
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posted
I'm confused by your story, but I understand that you are miserable in your situation! Anyway you can throw somebody out since you are paying the bills??
Eat whenever and whatever you want! Tell them I said you could!!!
Hang in there!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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Andie333
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7370
posted
Oh, man, cant...that sounds pretty rough.
And I'm sorry you're having to go through this.
My bad inner child would be pouring olive over everything. I'd saute eggs in olive oil, put it on my toast and over my vegetables.
For me, I've noticed a real correlation between stress and my Lyme state.
Any way you can carve out a safe place for yourself, just to be able to breathe deeply and get away from all that?
Posts: 2549 | From never never land | Registered: May 2005
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
can't; so sorry to read of your stressful, degrading experience with your family.
Are you in THEIR home or yours since you pay all the bills?
Do you have ACCESS, care for battered women in your city or near you? I don't know if that could possibly apply to you or not.
Yes, call your local support team; I hope you have someone. Otherwise, come here and share for suggestions.
Stress makes us all worse. Do you get SSDI, SS disability insurance benefits?
I'll keep you can't in my thoughts & prayers that you can swim to the surface from the bottom of the pit you are living in now.
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So here is what I think...I am 42. You cannot control your parents behavior--they will never change.
The good news is that your can control yours. Next time, instead of reacting stressfully try turning to your dad and say "I appreciate your concerns dad but since I need to stay to a strick diet and drug schedule, I am going to make this asparagus with olive oil."
Then do your thing. Don't engage him. If he acts up and continues to stress you sit them down and say.
"I love you guys but here is the deal...I am thirty...I have a devastating illness which I plan to recover from with or without your help.
I hope you choose to help but since stress inhibits healing, you will need to take your aggression someplace else--I will no longer engage in these usless outbursts."
(This is how i now deal with my family.) I have gone from doormat to queen. Best
-------------------- We are spiritual beings on a human journey...
Michelle M
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7200
posted
Hello, Can't.
Now, that is NOT a very good situation for getting well. It sounds like a situation that will continue to keep you sick, as a matter of fact.
Take Human's advice. Empower yourself. It's hard to stand up to parents who browbeat you. However, it can be done without being disrespectful. Just be firm. You might be surprised at the results. I wish there was somewhere else you could go, however.
Personally, I think they'd ALL be better off sauteeing their vegetables in olive oil! Yummy!
Don't give them power over you. Every time you let them stress you out, you're giving them power. Refusing to let them bother you is exercising a kind of power of your OWN. People who are not kind don't need to have power over others. Take it back!
Michelle
Posts: 3193 | From Northern California | Registered: Apr 2005
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
Dear Lord, thank you for watching over me as those around me plot evil.....
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6495 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
Good job, Humanbeing! I agree wholeheartedly!
Cant' .. I'll be praying that you find the strength to stand up to them in an assertive, non-agressive manner. Go for it!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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hopeful123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3244
posted
i agree with taking those who suggested taking a stand.
it will not be easy and you may have to keep setting your boundaries, but in the long run you will feel better about yourself and your living circumstances.
i know it's not easy. i have had to set boundaries many times, so i know.
good luck
-------------------- some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield Posts: 1160 | From NY | Registered: Oct 2002
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posted
Hey cant, I deal with this kind of stuff everday, my father and mother think i am full of s*** about being sick, they both had lyme like 10*15 years ago and both were all set with two to three weeks abx.
I too am thirty and it can be hard to put your parents in their respective places sometimes i know. My parents look at me lately like i am a lazy freak.
I am used to snowboarding over a hundred days a year, going on various mtn biking trips, cross country skiing and living basically in the outdoors, and running my own buisness, and now i am afraid to even plan getting together with a freind for fear of how i will feel at any given moment.
if they only new that i would kill to have my other life back. I am so sick of resting and taking it easy......
My pop is like what do you have today? they dont understand, very few people do, one of the smartest people i met in the beging of my illness which was only 8 months ago told me to not bother trying to explain your deal to everyone they just dont understand. she was so right.
We all went to dinner the other night and i had my abx in my pocket because this is the world i live in now and i had a side of broccoli, and a salad, and my father was like "why you eating that rabbit food" he is just a hardcore new england kind of guy.
Sorry for rattling but i could really identify with you and what your going through, thank god i found this site, because sometimes i feel like this is such a lonely world i live in right now and its worse when the people that should totally understand you are misunderstanding you....sucks....Take care and i hope things get better....DJ
-------------------- D.J. Lyme Posts: 69 | From shoreline CT | Registered: Dec 2005
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Linda LD
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6663
posted
Don't make eye contact and don't try to convince them you are right--don't "engage" them. When you fight with them you are just giving them your precious energy.
Try to find a place to go--just for a little while--and then you make plans to get your own place.
God bless and remember to tell us how you are doing.
Linda
Posts: 1171 | From Knoxville, TN US | Registered: Dec 2004
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aklnwlf
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5960
posted
You want me to come over and start kicking some butt Can't??
Just kidding, but I tell that to my best friend when she's feeling down and having problems with someone.
Do what's best for you. Take care of yourself and make it your number one priority.
No one else is going to do it so it's up to you.
My friends and family don't understand either and think I can just be my usual active self.
Speaking for myself, any support I can give you let me know.
-------------------- Do not take this as medical advice. This comment is based on opinion and personal experience only.
Alaska Lone Wolf Posts: 6918 | From Columbus, GA | Registered: Jul 2004
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