posted
Have you ever wondered why it seems that all the symptoms caused by these infectious creatures are bad ones ? Wouldn't you think some of their activity might actually yield something desirable once in a while?
Maybe there is even a disease where all the effects are positive ? I've decided there must be.
So the NEXT disease I get is going to go something like this:
1. I have floaters in my vision... that are actually the items in my daily planner. Blinking washes in the next appointment.
2. When I wake up in the morning I have such a profound sense of... well-being and energy that my neighbors start to complain about the daily Tarzan yell at 6am.
3. The medicine I take is only available via... chocolate candies. The generic is in the form of Russell Stover French Chocolate Mints.
4. Bright light shining in through a window causes... me to smile uncontrollably and sing verses from ``The Sound of Music''.
5. I have a chemical sensitivity that... makes baby diapers, gasoline, and the garbage smell like fresh strawberries.
6. I get weird sensations on my skin... that feel like a deep Swedish massage.
7. Alternative therapies include an electric device... akin to the ``Orgasmatron'' in Woody Allen's ``Barbaraella''. The effects are the same.
8. The medicine I take causes the skin around my eyes to... get tighter, dropping 10 years from my appearance.
9. My sleep requirements are altered... I only need 4 hours a night.
10. I have strange dreams... sailing the blue Carribbean, winning Olympic Gold, and discovering a cure for cancer.
11. I have uncontrollable fits of... giggling. They are set off whenever people do mean or inconsiderate things.
And finally, 12. My next disease will have flare-ups that come in cycles every few weeks (or whenever I change candies). They will make all my symptoms feel even better.
OK, so I'd settle for no disease at all. But if I have to have one, that's MY next disease. What's yours ? :^)
Posts: 67 | From Fredericksburg, VA USA | Registered: Jun 2005
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TheCrimeOfLyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4019
posted
So the NEXT disease I get is going to go something like this:
1. My vision is extremely blurry... from drinking and partying all night long.
2. The nerves in my face actually hurt.. because I laughed way too long at a joke yesterday
3. I take medicine on a daily basis... and I remember what it's called.
4. I forgot what I was doing yesterday... because I didn't do much besides shop
5. I have chemical sensitivity to the point I can detect and name the scent of various colognes on a dime. 6. I get weird sensations on my skin... and I like it that way.
7. Alternative therapies include an electric device... that vibrates. Wink wink
8. The medicine I take causes my body to... fall asleep so I can max out on 8 hours instead of the normal 7 hours and 59 minutes. 9. My disease is... health doesn't matter...
til you dont have it anymore
-------------------- You want your life back? Take it. Posts: 3169 | From Greensburg, Pennsylvania | Registered: Jun 2003
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take me quickly instead of making me suffer so long.
-------------------- We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand... and melting like a snowflake. Let us use it before it is too late. Posts: 221 | From the hills | Registered: Mar 2006
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AZURE WISH
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 804
posted
snowflake. I know the suffering is hard but it will get better.
I have had symptoms for at least 18.5 yrs. And when I look back sometimes I wonder how I made it through
especially certain periods of time.
But now with treatment I am getting better... Dont give up hope...
In the dark hours of this illness hope has been all that I've had to cling on to.
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